User:Snake7/Why?:Can't you do anything right?

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Thumb 6300396cgetwell12

Your doing it all wrong! The flowers are supposed to be blue!

Do you expect me to take that? I told you to make a nice get well card for my mom, nice. No way am I taking that pile a crap. Can't you perform even the simplest of tasks? You know what, you've been this way since we where kids. Always messing things up.

edit Childhood

Remember when we were playing in the woods? We were building that damn dam in the creek. I was going to go get some lumber to help keep it up. All you had to do was keep it from collapsing, but you couldn't do it because your IDIOT!! You were supposed to be holding it in place, but you tripped and fell down. When I saw it was destroyed, I was so mad I didn't care you almost drowned. But you don't remember that do you? You just went crying home to your mom and she got me in trouble. Apparently I should have known you couldn't follow directions.

You always screwed things up. When we rode our bikes to the top of that hill you where there, of course. My cool friends, Dan and Peter, had an idea to chain are bikes together and ride down the hill. We made you the first because we thought if we crashed you would get the most of the impacted and soften it for the rest of us. We were wrong. Just because you thought we would hit that oncoming car, you veered of the road. Well, it may not have seemed so bad to you, you were knocked out. We had to fall all the way to the ground and landed in a mud puddle.

Do you also remember when we were doing that homework assignment? The ant farm? Well, the ants got lose and went into Mrs. Rights lunch. She was so surprised she had a heart attack. She died. You killed her. They told us she just retrieved. But that’s not the truth. YOU KILLED HER! Bet you feel really guilty right now, don't you?

You probably don’t have to be reminded of all your other failures as a kid.

You know what else? You have a really stupid face.

“I can't do anything right, ether.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Not doing things right
“ Listen, I've told you time and time again, Oscar Wilde quotes are not funny, goddamit!”
~ Me on Your pathetic sense of humor

edit Adolescence

After all the things you messed up, when we went high school I should have just kicked you in the face or something and never talk to you again. But nooooo I felt sorry for you and decided to keep you as my "friend". Well, when we went to high school everything was different. You know with the girls and whatnot. Whenever you were around I could never get a girlfriend. That one time I was going to ask out Linda, you came along and ruined the whole thing. Yeah, our science experiment blew up. Yeah, you wanted to warn me. But you used to many big words! After you used phenolphthalein in a sentence and I understood what it meant she thought I must be a nerd.

Oh, and you crashed my freaking car! Well I might have maybe forgot to fix the brakes... I know it was slippery! That’s no excuse for driving it into a snow bank. Don't you know how to drive?



And all the other times you caused disasters. Your incompetence makes me sick. I’m actually about to throw up.

edit Adulthood

Somehow we're still "friends". You still can't do things right. The other night when I got drunk you left me just because your wife was in labor. Women are usually in labor for hours. What’s the freaking rush? Anyways I had to drive home drunk. Was I expected to pay those outrageously high cab prices? I put a lot of people in danger, just because you had to comfort your wife. Who would have comforted the parents of the little boy I almost ran over?

And I still I put up with your crap. All I ask in return is you doing everything I ask you. Like the get well card for my mom. Didn't you even try? Why?:Can't you do anything right? Do you not like my mom? Do you even want her to get better?

You know what; I should have expected you messing up the card. You’re not very smart...or very clever. You’re also quite ugly. I'm surprised you ever got married.

edit Well...

Your gonna have to make a new card, this time make it look good. In fact, I'm so disappointed in you that I'm making you do all my taxes. You might have to stay up all night, I'm afraid. But someone as stupid, ugly and fat as you is lucky to have someone like me as a friend. Isn’t that right you worthless baster... Wait. Is that a knife? Ahhhhhh!!! Ahhhhhh!!! Ah

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