| Why? |
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's Why? series. See more Why's?
Hey, you know what'd be a really, really funny article? Something on feet. Feet are definitely funny. Hm, let's see... oh, there's already a feet article. Well, I guess I could always improve it, right? I mean, it's not like it's that fantastic to begin with. And it's about footsex, which is entirely different from the actual, inherent humour that belongs to feet.
Let's do this.
edit Blank Canvas
A white box, filled with endless possibilities. My only beginning is the prominent title Feet, which lies at the top of my page. It's beautiful. I should take a break, just to appreciate the beauty; and also, the weight which lies upon my shoulders as I begin this momentous journey. It's intense. Alright, let's go.
"Feet are"... hm. That's an alright start, I guess. But what are feet? They are... "appendages at the end of your leg." That's funny, because even though everyone knows it, pointing it out would make people feel smugly superior to everyone. Good start. This is promising. This could be the start of a career, right here.
Okay, next part. Um... oh, god.
Why am I writing about feet?
edit This may have been a poor decision.
Granted, I know a lot about feet. I own two of them. I suppose I'm lucky in that respect; some people only have one. Or none at all. I should feel blessed.
But looking down at them, I'm not entirely sure why I found them so hilarious in the first place. I suppose they just have a whimsical feel; but how does one put that into writing? It's a task that may have been beyond me... it's too deep. It demands a level of satire that is almost at an ingenious level, to make such a typical topic gut-shakingly funny. Alright, though, no use wasting time. Start brainstorming.
edit What's funny about feet?
They have toes. Are toes funny? I guess they could be. I mean, look at the word. "Toes". That's so childish and ridiculous. I could make fun of that, but something tells me I might get stuck. Well, I'll put it aside for later.
They step on things. I could have a list of things that feet can't... no, just shouldn't, step on, like glass. And hobos. And Oscar Wilde. That's an in-joke, and my knowledge of it should make my article way cooler and funnier. At least, to those in the know about this sort of thing. Feet also cannot step on tacks. That's definitely going in, that's super easy to come up with.
What if there were really hairy feet? Like hobbits. Hobbits have furry feet, right? Wow, I wish I'd actually read Lord of the Rings now. That could be a whole section, about how stupid it is to have funny feet when you're carrying... magical rings. That's what he does, I think. I'm not one hundred percent on it, though, I'll go look it up.
edit Maybe some alcohol would help this.
Ol' Jack Daniels has always managed to get my creativity up and running before. It should work this time, I'll go load up and then I'll write the best Feet article ever. Since it's in the mainspace, it'd be way better than any other article on feet, like, Why?:Am I writing about feet? I don't know why you are, man, I already did it. Way better.
I can't believe I was ever actually worried about this.
edit FEET ARE FUCKING AWESOME
Feet are appendages that are attached to the end of your legs. U USE THEM TO KICK THINGS
Dinosaurs had feet and they smashed things with them BOOM BOOM smash. They killed GEORGE BUSH AND AMERICA WAS SUPER HAAAPPY and then they cut offf his feet too
Being drunk makes me do my best work. I never would have thought of that earlier. Well, let's save it on and then go about my day. I'm sure when I come back this evening, the talk page will be full of praise and people will be steadily expanding the article to be even funnier. Seriously, though. This is fun. I think I might do this more often.
edit ...where'd my article go?