Why?

I live in an old Victorian home in New England. It's one of those multi-family houses that usually has the owner living downstairs and some deadbeat tenant like me living on the second floor. Just like in the movies, I'll be late with the rent and every time I come out of the house to empty the trash or get the mail, my landlady will be asking me for some money before I make it back inside. I'll just feed her the usual excuse about how I'm expecting a check from an imaginary relative or some other kind of bullshit - whatever makes her stifle that wrinkled yapper and leave me alone. Anyways, so my landlady had to move out the other week and go take care of her father down in New Jersey, which was fine with me. She informed me that there were going to be two middle-aged ladies moving in downstairs, which I was OK with as well. I'm daydreaming that some hot looking Bostonian versions of Sarah Palin and Ann Coulter are going to be moving in below me. They'll be constantly needing my help and I'll be like a fucking hero every day - totally cool with me. I didn't manage to get a look at either of them when they moved a bunch of heavy furniture into the house a few weekends ago. I looked down through the venetian blinds and only saw an empty truck on the lawn, while a bunch of boom boom bang sounds were going on downstairs. The next thing you know, they were gone. Finally, the day before they officially moved in, my landlady shows up and tells me that she didn't realize one of the "women" who'd be moving in was actually a transvestite. She looked really embarrassed telling me this but I assured her that I was a tolerant kind of guy and hey.......

I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area

Seriously, whenever I talk about growing up in the SF bay the first thing that pops into everyone's mind is gay people. Seriously, you can't say the name San Francisco without things getting real gay, real quick - especially online. Anyways, I never had any problems with the GLBT people when I lived there. There were never any gay guys hitting on me or bothering me and I never reached down anybodies pants and found a penis when I wasn't expecting it. Basically, there's a whole lot of different people that live there; Black people, Asian people, Mexican people, homeless people, winos, hippies, new-agers and all these wealthy cultured former rednecks and easterners that now live on the west coast. Of course, anyone who's never lived there assumes it's some kind of gay mecca when you mention the place. It's not like you drive across the Bay Bridge from Ghettoland and all of a sudden everything is pink with inverted triangles, rainbows and dildo shaped buildings when you get into the city. There's only a couple of really gay neighborhoods and that's about it..... (more...)

Recently featured: Why?:Did I Decide to Audition for Big Brother? - Why?:You should not be a cannibal - Why?:Is a dead body lying on my couch? - Why?:Does an Aircraft Crash? - Why?:I'm hot - Why?:Climb Mount Everest? - Why?:Won't that damn CD player play my vinyls? - Why?:Trade Your Family's Only Cow For Magic Beans - Why?:Are we here? - Why?:Play Bass? - Why?:Do Florida's animals suck? - Why?:Water is good for our health? - Why?:Bother?

Can't See Your Why? Add It!Recent Why?s

• Why?:Do I need to provide this?
• Why?:Electrical engineers are cooler than mechanical engineers
• Why?:Answer a question with a question?
• Why?:Some guy pulled you over, dragged you out of your car, and beat you to death with your bare hands
• Why?:The Chicago Cubs Will Never Win The World Series
• Why?:The Pittsburgh Pirates Are Worthless
• Why?:Write an article?
• Why?:The Long Face?
• Why?:Does my stepdad suck?
• Why?:Fight Club is a cop out
• Why?:You shouldn't take acid before riding a bicycle
• Why?:Buy shares in BAE Systems
• Why?:Don't You Get a Job?
• Why?:Stick Things in the Microwave Oven
• Why?:Should I Care About Those Damn Polar Bears?
• Why?:Has God Forsaken Me?
• Why?:Transform Your Room Into a Towel Castle?
• Why?:Take Stimulus Recovery Money to Ruin your company and give Executives a Big Bonus?
• Why?:Why do Non-Conservatives Exist?
• Why?:Watching a marathon of House, M.D. while you're sick is not a good idea
• Why?:Won't this stupid TV work?!?
• Why?:Are giant robots chasing me through the street?
• Why?:Eat a Peach
• Why?:I'm In court, Mum
• Why?:Arent There Any Penguins Up North?
• Why?:Have an alienating music taste
• Why?:Is my molten steel bill so high?
• Why?:Is There a Moose On This Plane?
• Why?:Do things remain the same

Find a Why?

Make a new Why?