Whole Wheat Radio

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Jim Kloss stubbornly refuses to quit webcasting even though no one listens

Whole Wheat Radio is also known as "The Only Webcast On The Internet To Have Absolutely No Listeners". Webcasting from Talkeetna, Alaska, Whole Wheat Radio or WWR, as it is affectionately known, has played over 3 million tunes since August, 2002. During that time, for reasons still hotly debated in technical circles, no one has ever tuned in.

edit The People Behind Whole Wheat Radio

Jim Kloss (aka Jimbob) is responsible for the day-to-day operation of WWR. His responsibilities include making coffee, preparing daily 'rants' which are aired every weekday at 11AM Alaska time, and going to the post office to see if anyone has sent mail. He spends several hour a day clicking the 'receive email' button on the main WWR control console but has yet to receive so much as a single piece of spam.

When asked why he persists after so many years of being completely ignored by everyone on the internet, Kloss replied "Maybe someone will tune in tomorrow. Just one person - that's all I need - I'm waiting for that one special person who tunes and says hello on the website. When it happens it will make all the years of work and sacrifice worthwhile."

edit Music Played On Whole Wheat Radio

Permanently under construction

edit Computer Infrastructure

A complex Linux / Windows network structure provides the basis for WWR's technical juju. Although the total number of computers employed is a closely guarded secret and all proprietary software is jealously protected, Kloss has made the network's overall CPU load average available to the public. When asked how such a large network can be so efficient (the load average is 0.00) Kloss merely smiles and says "It's all in the way you cook it now isn't it?"

edit Funding

Whole Wheat Radio is 100% listener funded. Although seemingly contradictory, Kloss believes this 'grassroots' policy is key to the site's popularity. With over 4 years of successful webcasting under his belt, he sees no reason to change the formula for success.

edit Podcasting Audio Magazines

Whole Wheat Radio was the first webcast to adopt podcasts audio magazines into it's arsenal of daily audio production. Arriving on the scene when there were still only a handful of podcasters audio magazine producers, Kloss quickly realized the potential to get the Whole Wheat Radio out to thousands of listeners. While other podcaster audio magazine producers were still trying to figure out the difference between a radial and an exponential microphone scatter pattern, Kloss was busy integrating podcasts audio magazines throughout the WWR network.

According to recent statistics available from many sources, Whole Wheat Radio has had exactly zero (0) downloads for it's entire 2+ year library of podcasts audio magazines.


Whole Wheat Radio - a flagship wiki Web 2.0 webcast

edit Wiki And Whole Wheat Radio

Whole Wheat Radio was the first webcast to adopt the wiki format so that listeners could control not only the music being played but also the entire website. Listeners are responsible for writing and maintaining artist bios, album review and song lyrics. Listeners also play a large part in the dynamic chat community. All listeners must do now is tune in or log on to the website.

edit Blogging


Esther Golton - has never tuned in to Whole Wheat Radio but says she will soon

Whole Wheat Radio was Web 2.0 compliant before there was a Web 2.0. Realizing the need for community participation, Kloss has been at the fore-front of community based blogging. With room for thousands of listener/bloggers in his neatly organized databases, Whole Wheat Radio waits in a very Web 2.0 way.

edit The Future Of Whole Wheat Radio

--- 6943 --- (We will be departing sometime in the near future. Join us! Blue Kool-Aid provided!)

edit Unlistener reviews

“I never listen to the Whole Wheat Radio stream. I just like to hang around the chat and play with the wiki.”
~ Sparkit
“I've never actually heard any of the music. The stream just keeps saying "Please wait, buffering...”
~ Sol

edit External links

Personal tools