Who Wants to be a Bat?
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The philosopher and philanthropist Thomas Nagel revolutionised the study of the human mind with his celebrated self-help novel "Who Wants to be a Bat?" in 1374. In this controversial work, Nagel persuasively advocates the notion of developing a rare type of synaesthesia in which the sufferer experiences themself to be a bat, thus, he argues, attaining the ultimate philosophical enlightenment: the knowledge of what it is like to be a bat.
[edit] Literary responses
The novel has been reprinted in several books that are concerned with the problem of dissatisfaction with the human condition and has inspired much research into the various manifestations of extreme schizophrenia. It has also caused an explosion of bat-related literature in the philosophical community, the more noted examples including computer scientist Bill Gates' speculative "What's it Like to be a Millionaire?", TV presenter Chris Tarrant's series of broadcasts entitled "Who DOES Want to be a Bat?" along with the less popular sequel "Well?", and Batman's semi-autobiography "What's it Like to be Me?".
[edit] Philosophical criticisms
While Nagel's views have amassed a considerable following of bat enthusiasts from disciplines as diverse as philosophy, psychiatry, zoology, ecology and pet-keeping, those who sympathise with the Nagel viewpoint suffer from mild persecution by philosophers of the neo-behaviourist school, while Nagel himself has been accused of making a gross category error. According to the (possibly immortal) Santa-impersonator Dan Dennett, Nagel's theory "really sucks". Some human rights activists have even accused Nagel of advocating a fascist eugenics scheme; reactions from animal rights activists have been mixed.
[edit] Nagel’s career
In the bestselling sequel "How to be a Bat" (June 1378) he systematically sets out a mechanism for attaining the desired enlightened state. Nagel himself went one step further, achieving his goal of physical as well as mental transformation to bathood 10 years after the book's publication, becoming only the second human to do so, after Bruce Wayne in May 1339. Wayne launched a lawsuit against Nagel, claiming that he had patented the methods used for bat transformation detailed in "How to be a Bat". It is believed the case was settled out of court.
Nagel has devoted the later parts of his astonishingly long life (most bats live to 20 years) to his essay, "What it is Like to be a Bat", available as an ultrasonic recording. Its publication caused much controversy in the bat community, especially among the neo-behaviourist bats, who subsequently ridiculed him and dubbed him a metaphysician. Still, Nagel continues to lecture on the subject, defending his views.
To this day, many of Nagel’s human followers believe that their leader will one day return to transform into bats all those who have faith in him. “What it is Like to be a Bat” is revered as a holy ‘text’, although with its format rendering it uniquely incomprehensible, it lends itself to a wide range of interpretations, resulting in fierce controversy even amongst fellow believers.
