White Knight

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An occasional white-knight convention can be hosted to debate on why black knights are evil.

“They only rescue you if you're beautiful, it's a fine natural selection system.”
~ Charles Darwin on White Knights

White Knights are a special type of Homo sapiens that started appearing during the 15th Century, and to date have evolved and devolved over the course of time. They are most likely to be Heterosexual, as they cannot be a white knight without having an extreme attraction to the opposite sex.

White Knights are actually colored silver, because when they first tried the actual concept to make them literally white, this ended up in failure due to Erectile dysfunction and they just simply stuck with the color silver. The shine that they give off is actually what gives that white characterization and intimidated the dragons and trolls by the mere sight of it. Today a white knight can actually be characterized by wearing nothing but white, almost like a ghost (Right).

White Knights are one of the most brave and at the same time interesting creatures on the planet. Their face shrouded with the shining white armor that they wear, the maidens are always wondering what lies behind that helmet of theirs. (Or in this case, what be behind the computer screen.) The men know the dying secret, it's no surprise. The women don't know that though as the men have kept this a secret from them for centuries, only because the geeky kids in which they are can be triggered by the woman's reaction, it has been a long-known tradition to hide their faces for this reason only.

During the day, the White Knight will proceed to wake up and enjoy their mornings as usual, straight onto the computer and immediately heading to the forums or video game that they like a lot to find maidens to 'rescue'.


An artist's representation of how a White Knight behaves.

edit Behavior

Spectrum Tester

Even during their young age, they pursue women online.

The typical White Knight is known to be closed, they have a tendency to be quiet, the only time they talk is when a woman is in the shear grip of evil. It doesn't matter what type of women they are, they just have to be female, and beautiful. Transgenders are possible candidates to be protected under the white armor, however, this could violate their Heterosexuality, and might possibly have them end up being subject to becoming a Rainbow Knight.

The complex behavior of how they deal with issues involve witty and sometimes medieval punchlines. When it comes to the time to strike, he will immediately thrust himself into action and call upon his steed if he has one (The microphone), He will proceed to shout and challenge the evil that ensues, calling them names and telling the monsters to leave the maiden alone, or else!

If the White Knight feels that he is being overpowered, the knight will inquire the maiden to follow him away from the evil, possibly becoming dates, and getting married. They might end up living happily ever after, but the chances are she's just going to dump him again. Wait, again? The White knight likes to stalk their women, so that way they can get to know them better. According to King Arthur, he quoted in his early years of 610 AD "My brother was a white knight, he wore all that sparkling armor to impress the ladies, but alas; he fell into a dirty puddle following one, and became a dirty molester. Literally."

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about White Knight.

Their goal of doing this is unknown. During a Survey taken in 2009, an Anonymous survey group had people all around the world answer a question of why they do such heroic tasks, some answered with they love the woman that they rescue, some others have replied with that it's just a duty the white knight is born to follow and will do the same for all women, but at the conclusion of the survey, the results show that all majority of responses tell that the white knights want sex. It's a dream come true to the White Knight if the girl they rescued offers it, but the chances for this to happen are one in a million, and when they do get a reward for such a feat, it's most likely a Predator, and the local public might never see the white knight again, as this is the white knight's biggest foe when on their quest.

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