What Uncyclopedia Is
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Scene: South Park Elementary
Mr. Mackey: Quiet down children. Mr Kaniff is out for the day...
Brian: He's got Aids!
Mr. Mackey: ...and Mr Shady will be your substitute teacher for the day. Mr. Shady the floor is yours.
Mr. Shady: Hello, class!
Class: Hello, Mr. Shady!
Mr. Shady: So, class, I was utterly at a loss about what I should teach you today. So many topics to choose from. Say... My lecture on drug usage was particularly good yesterday, but what about today? You don't want a repeat of yesterday, unless you also want a roll in the hay.
Claire: Can I make a suggestion?
Brian: Shut the fuck up!
Mr. Shady: Now, Brian, everyone has the right to speak. Even that lesbo down the street. Say what you need to say Claire if you dare.
Claire: Someone is abusing that fucking awesome and completely true encyclopedia on the Internet called Uncyclopedia. Obviously, they don't know what it was meant for. Can you explain to the class what it was meant for.
Mr. Shady: Ok, Claire.
edit To begin With
Little boys and girls, first thing's first
Claire's a tattletale who sucks on Fred Durst
And sucks all the air out of a Hertz.
You know what they do to tattletales in Soviet Russia
Tattletales are killed by you,
So bitch, please, don't be a hoe
And be sho
That you don't be a hoe.
- Class laughing hysterically*
See, that's what you get: now you're the laughing stock
And you're head still looks like a fucking hockey puck
Don't laugh kids at this queen dramatica.
edit What Uncyclopedia Is
Uncyclopedia is not a big encyclopedia
Not to be confused with Wikipedia or Wikia
Or Wookiepedia or the Fashion Wiki
It's not encyclopedic in the least
In fact, if you please
It might just be a dictionary
So make sure to include entries for the dictionary
Then you too can be very good, too.
But remember, this is no ordinary dictionary;
Everything to be said is a parody
Or downright funny;
In fact its impossible to abuse the un-busable
Because Nobody cares, Claire.
edit Did you know?
Wikipedia is the ultimate form of propaganda
It's just something I'm not a fan a'
Their creator Jimbo is a bimba
And Angela Wales is not so hot eitha'.
Uncyclopedia is the greatest form of culture
While Wikipedia is something you've got to nurture
Because to it, you are the father.
What Uncyclopedia needs is more cowbell...
Claire: What's that?
I'll tell you, Claire;
That's an inside joke here at this wikia
Just like that guy who beat another guy
Because that guy was pretty high
And another guy wanted, too, to be pretty high.
You see, Claire, Uncyclopedia is just one big inside joke
Just like this rap is a spoof of some other rap I let out in the form of smoke.
edit Anyway Here's What I'm Saying
That Uncyclopedia harbors criminals, drug addicts and abusers
Human rights huffers, and fucking fuckity fluffers.
We can advocate for the poor little dark child
We also support recruitment into the Nazi Party
So you too can protect them from the darkie
Prevent them from getting eaten by a zombie or a sharkie
Here, at Uncyclopedia, we also believe in self-promoting
We promote ourselves all the time
Our self-promotion would put yours to shame
What with all our advertising
For the KKK (Kool Kids Klub)
This is just something that can't be dubbed.
edit Why Uncyclopedia vs Wikipedia
Wikipedia says it's not a personal web page
But you should see Jimbo Wale's
Huntsville, Alabama is where he hails
But it's also the place of his first inhale
And his first drug sale.
But Wikipedia won't tell you that
Because it censors all the fucking facts,
Including You being a fag
No! The other you! Bitch, who do you think I'm talking to?
Anyway, Wikipedia is all of these and more:
- Sales catalog
- The Yellow Pages
- A gathering of stoners
- Instruction manual
- And a hater of Wikipedia
Whoops did I say Wikipedia,
I meant Uncyclopedia.
So you see kids,
Vandalise Wikipedia at all costs
And don't treat Uncyclopedia as such
Because this is as royal as a Dutch
And there's an even better to throw in mush.
Here's a link to help you get started:
edit The End
Now Claire, this link will help with your other cares:
Thank you class for listening.
Mr. Mackey: Thank you, as always for your great insight, Mr. Shady.