West Side Story

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"Lalalalalalalala America" - West side Story

WestSide

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article very remotely related to West Side Story.

edit Plot

West Side Story is a musical that involves a lot of snapping and dialogue that in no way resembles reality. The musical is basically Romeo & Juliet, just in The Ghetto. The story starts while White gang, The Jets, are snapping. The number continues on with singing and the whole opening number really has nothing to do with the rest of the play so if you go to see it you can be like 10 minutes late and it wouldn't matter. Basically, the plot is like, this Puerto Rican chick (Maria) from the Puerto Rican gang, The Sharks, falls in love with one of the White guys, (Tony) but she's engaged and her friend Anita hates White people and then Tony kills Maria's brother, it's weird. Then they bang and her fiance finds out and kills Tony and then she cries and yells at everyone and it just sucks for everyone involved.


edit The Music

The music is pretty much the same 1950's New York theme and they all are just a little bit too loud no matter what volume you play it. Songs like "Jet Song" and "Tonight" are way too long but they are pretty good. Most of the songs consist of either Tony bitching about nonsense or emasculating numbers with the gangs that make them all look like pansie-asses. The songs actually don't consist of instruments, the backing music is simply loud noises that were recorded during bad traffic on large highways and they just kind of mesh well.


edit Characters

The main characters are all incredibly dumb but they are still the protagonists so most people don't call them out on it. Tony is a mopey ass-face that thinks he's in love after meeting some chick at a gymnasium dance for like 2 minutes. Maria has legit no personality, her friends are kind of interesting but honestly she's just a bowl of overly watered Top Ramen. Bernardo dies in the middle and no one really cares because he's annoying as hell. Chino is Maria's fiance who was always pissed off at her, justifiably so because she was obviously cheating on him with one of his worst enemies. Anita is really loud and just kind of there to create problems. she gets sexually harassed by The Jets near the end of the play and it makes everyone in the room extremely uncomfortable. There are other characters but no one really gives a crap about them.

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