The Welsh Marsh Owl (Lifialatris thithithalthethus) is a gigantic, ferocious species of predominately-flightless owl that lives in marshes, bogs, and swamps throughout most of continental Europe. The Welsh marsh owl, unlike most other owls, is an excellent swimmer and a good diver, able to hold its breath for six minutes or more.

The Welsh marsh owl rarely weighs more than seventy pounds, unless it weighs eighty or two-hundred and thirty-four. Welsh marsh owls usually stand five feet tall upright, not counting their sinuous, serpentine necks. While unable to fly, the Welsh marsh owl is supremely adapted for a water-based lifestyle, and as such it no longer has feet and/or wings. The Welsh marsh owl is widely considered to be the most beautiful of all of Europe's nocturnal marsh-dwelling semi-flightless entirely aquatic birds of prey, not only for its scaly knees and feathered rump but also for it's gloatingly beautiful eye sockets, which seem to emanate charisma.


Welsh marsh owls are known for their vast palette, and depending on availability, they easily adapt to a diet of small fishes and squid, although, like any animal, given the choice they prefer a diet of small waterbirds, mainly ducks and grebes but also an occasional many-miles-out-to-sea bear cub. The Welsh marsh owl is also notorious for its occasional human face-eating habits, making it a bane to swimers, divers, underwater farmers and sub-aquatic shopkeepers throughout Europe.