Website

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Actual photograph of a typical website

“I have a pretty hamburgular website”

~ Oscar Wilde on his website

A location upon where a spider spins a web, a Website is commonly used as material for bookcovers and artificial banana skins.

Their main purpose is as a repository for pornographic images, which otherwise would fill hard drives and restrict PCs to Windows 95 levels. Microsoft, in their constant struggle to improve the smooth running of computers and operating systems took drastic steps as the Millenium Bug (see Godzilla vs the Millenium Bug) threatened to take over the world.

Another popular use for Websites now are as writing material. Nubile Teens often enjoy acquiring pet spiders and creating their own website. Watching these creatures spin these websites into what is sometimes termed the "world wide web" can be a fun and enjoyable experience for the whole family.

A fine example of a website is http://www.makeliamfamous.tk which is an uterly pointless website but has good mathematical problems (err... not really) and excellent spelling of words such as the following: In, The, Me, You, Famous, We, Not, Here.

See Blogging.

Contents

A noob website

Image:Internet Explorer 8.png

Welcome to my site,

I can do HTML n evereefin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im cool n' stuff coz I can do blank pages like this and stuff

Recent News

}}

UnNews – Radio Free Lunch

On this day...

Dalai Llama meet Llama Jesus in 1990.

December 8: Llamas Against Chinese day

  • 1000 BCE - A little Chinese Prince was holidaying in Tibet. Whilst he was innocently trying to feed a local Llama some grain it viciously bit him. And so began countless millenniums of conflict.
  • 684 - Tibetan Llamas eat all the grass so that when the Mongolians tried to invade there was nothing for their horses to eat. First example of Llama scorched earth tactics.
  • 751 - Chinese invade Tibet again. The Chinese strike a deal with the Llamas, they will have a singing competition and whoever wins gets sovereignty over Tibet. First instance of the Llama song, thousands of Chinese soldiers get nasty nips from vicious Llamas in their victory celebrations.
  • 1231 - The Dalai Llama seduces Chinese king, but after they'd been going steady for a couple of months the Llama cheats on him with Kublai Khan. Chinese king calls the Llama a slut and finds a less attractive rebound girlfriend and cries himself to sleep for a month.
  • 1567- The Dalai Llama tells all the other Central Asian leaders that the Chinese King is gay. This does not have the negative connotations that it does in the West so the Dalai Llama also said the King had sex with young boys.
  • 1789 - Llama blah blah blah Tibet blah China. Blah blah blah China blah Llama. Llama breaks China's grandmother's hip and takes the last bit of Cheesecake.
  • 1850 - Llama tells Hong Xiuquan that if he's sick of the buses running late he should start a revolution. So begins Taiping Rebellion.
  • 1911 - Llama tells Sun Yat-sen and Yuan Shikai that the Chinese Emperor said that their mothers were terrible cooks.
  • 1931 - Llama mentions to Emperor Hirohito that China is pretty shit and that he might as well go in and take over. Then he whispered quietly in the Emperor's ear that if any Japanese are looking for easy women Nanking is the place.
  • 1950 - PRC takes over Tibet suffering many painful Llama bites.
  • 2001 - In a secret coup d'etat the Llamas topple the Illuminati, the Skull and Bones Club and the Jews and assume de facto secret leadership of the world. And when China least expects it ... POW!!! Right in the kisser with a big Llama bite.
  • 2003- lLAMAS TAKE OVER WIKIPEDIEA AND USE IT TO BAD MOUTH CHINA TO THE WORLD
  • 2005- Jeff from accounting nailed your wife in the parking lot at that company christmas party.

View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Aboard the starship Event Horizon. Two men face each other for the last time. One of them, Miller, is trying his best to keep his last grains of sanity, quickly slipping away, while staring into the horror that is his adversary.

Miller: What are you?

Adversary: You know.

Miller: You want me to believe you're the Devil, well, I don't, that's bullshit!

Adversary: I'm not the Devil.

Miller: Then what, what are you? Tell me...

Adversary: Better if I just show you.

His hands reach down and he grabs Miller by the skull. Miller gasps as he sees a series of snapshots...

A news desk coffee stains, an old battered microphone, a bearded hulk, dirt under the rollers

Miller: NO!!!!

Adversary: I'm not the Devil. I'm much, much older. I watched the Beginning and I will see the End. I am the dark behind the stars. I am the dark inside you all. I am Zim_ulator

Miller: NO!!!!!!!

Zim_ulator: I'm not asking you to believe me. You'll see for yourself... and so will the rest of your Uncyclopedians. I'm going now to the other side, AND YOU'RE ALL COMING WITH ME!

Hello! And welcome to the Uncyclopedia Cabal hot line! We thank you for patience and we appreciate your patronage. Please select from the following options: for bannination press 1, for kitten huffing press 2, for drama control press 3, the cabal does not exist press 4, for front page issues press 5. For any other issues please hold the line as your call is being traced.

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Thank you for choosing front page services. To request a lazy admin to feature something on the front page press 1. To request a lazy admin to do a reskin press2. To request a front page blurb chose 3. To hear the answer to life, universe and everything press 42.

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Thank you for holding. Your name is not recognized by the system and/or you are not awesome enough to earn your own blurb. Error message #463:there is no cabal. Thank you for calling the Uncyclopedia cabal hot line. This call will now be terminated. As shall you.

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eh...hello? mommy? is that you?

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Guide to Creating a Successful Website

see main article: HowTo:Create a Website

There are a set number of steps necessary in creating a successful website. Start by analysing the average from the content of the most successful websites, and then through subtle manipulation copy and paste, know to Webmasters as the "Copy and Paste Technique".

Standard subject matter should include:

It is important to try to add lots of large images, as well as javascript, enabling "snowfall" or "magic" mouse trails. Embedded MIDI files are a must.

WARNING!: Try not to make it as weird and pointless as the site Workingbrains, good god that place is pointless.

For addition help please view HowTo:Create a Website

List of websites

   v • d • e
Website is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.
Television
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Internet
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Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Website"
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