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“WedigTV is a site for people who like TV!”
“In Soviet Russia, TV digs you!”
“I created WeDigTV using just a rubber band, a contact lens and 2 pages from yesterday's newspaper.”
“Carol is Sexy, and the show's not half bad either.”
“Boom! Ya see, I did take the Countdown Clock back after I stole it for my lessssans. ”
“I think you've just surrendered control there.”WeDigTV is a website where you can play many of yestercentury's top game shows, which put you in the bodies of boiling hot, extremely sunburnt contestants (who are actually real models of past contestants, sources suggest) and lifeless cold blue opponents, directly in the programmes using unique breakthrough technology.
The website layout has changed so many times, it gets annoying. However, they seem to have finally stopped changing everything.
- Blockbusters: A game show hosted by the legendary 299-year old Bob Holness, where you have to repeatedly smash through some honeycomb hexagons with letters on them and get to the other side. A bit like viewing a Crunchie bar with a 100x microscope, really. Without the letters of course. The show itself lasted for all of 100 years, making it one of Britain's shortest-running gameshows ever. The programme was very popular with geeks and Adolf Hitler, who even appeared on the show in 1939. When he lost, the set was blown-up, and the show was never refurbished. That's right, they carried on until 1993 in a burnt-out wreck. The Gold Run was never the same, as it all looked black and charcoalish to me. With its ZX Spectrum noises when a player buzzed but failed to answer, it was also considered very ahead of its time, until 1982 when the console came out, of course.
- Bullseye: A game-show in which you have to successfully dissect the retina of a male cow. William Shakespeare was apparently a fan of this programme, and an unreleased book, "Bullseye and Me" was apprarently loosely set on the show. It was hosted by Galen, and did extremely well. Soon though, around 1902, it was criticised and turned into dartsodder, losing all of its audience in the process. The show was never the same. Jim Bowen took over when the format switched, and there was some other fat guy present to read out the scoring.
- Catchphrase (game show): A supper-time favourite, a programme which involved chasing moving words with a net, and annoying buzzer sounds. You earn points for catching the longer Catchphrases, and if you had the most at the end of the show, you went on to the Super Catchphrase, which involved chasing monster sentences. If you won that, then you got a whole bunch of silver coins, and a Chip, appropriately called Mr. Chips, despite there only being one available. When a contestant caught the freaky moving words, all they had to do was read them out to get deafened by a young Roy Walker screaming "Rigghhhht!", which one time, caused the player to smack him with the catchphrase "Two wrongs dont make a right".
- Countdown: Truly a basic game show, Des O Connor took this one up in 1830, aged only 75. However, a young 47-year old, Richard Whiteley, was jealous and murdered Des in 1831, and he took over from there and hosted the show for, hell, I'd say around 170 years before finally passing away and leaving it to the forever-67 year old Des Lynam. Old and young men, women, and Nanny Carol Vorderman are hooking on to Countdown with their claws as they believe it was the delightful Countdown Clock tune that kept Richard alive for a phenomenal 200+ years. Not quite the age of Bob Holness, but it was still a great achievement. Now, the reincarnated, or just constantly life supported Des O'Connor is back with the show where they have to solve Conundrums and jumble up big blue letter and number tiles until the cows come home. As for the cows, Carol Vorderman is expected to get home sometime in 2009.
- Family Fortunes: A reality show more than a game show, this programme features Vernon Kay travelling a mile between two families who are feeling especially arrogant and feel that they are richer than their opposition. The team that are right get another $1,000,000. The losers have to trade a family member to be the opposition's slave, as well as donate all their funds to charity. This is the reason it only lasted 38 years, there was very little interest.
- Deal or No Deal: Pick some random numbers. Yay! Fun! Don't pick the big numbers though, because Noel will kill you. Coming soon. Oh, and some banker offers you some dough, or a swap. Not a wife swap, unfortunately for some people. PS, I wasn't joking about Noel murdering you. He's been programmed to be far too into the show and gets very angry when a top prize (like Noel's House Party on DVD) gets opened. Oh, and make sure you don't go red-hearted, or he'll have a go at you again. Play it and you'll see what I mean.
- Who Wants to be A Millionaire: *Cough cough*... enough said. Better make sure you hear those coughs though, you only get 30 seconds per question to get to £1,000,000, oh, excuse me, 1 MILLION points. The questions get annoyingly hard on the game, and don't let Tarrant's somewhat scary expressions distract you or you'll be out of that chair faster than you can say Ask the Audience!
- The Price Is Right: The Price is Right was made famous when the oldest man to ever live, Bruce Forsyth, who brought it to the Globe Theatre in approximately 1100AD. Back then they were guessing the values of blades of grass, The Bible and Cilla Black, but nowadays they value much better things, such as blades of wheat, Harry Potter and Cilla Black. Cilla has only ever been won once by a contestant, and she was soon returned in her packaging. She is thought to be kept in mummy cases filled with the preservatives that the Pharaoh were placed in. Another round involves Bargain Hunt like sweet talk, in which the players must buy three events for the opposite team to value. Whoever guesses the values closest to the amount the opposition paid, win the prizes. The most notable came in 1988 when Osama Bin Laden was sold for $1.50.
TPiR found its way back after being lost during the switchover.
- Lots more game shows are apparently coming soon, in the mix are thought to be Play Your Cards Right, Bullseye (original bull eye version), Name That Tune and The Crystal Maze, all of which suck completely. Although not as much as My Chemical Romance, but then again, they aren't a gameshow, yet. Look out for a new show about mixing dangerous solutions to form Love Potions coming soon on ITV, called "Potions on Ice", to be aired roughly 3 years after the BBC release "My Chemical Romance On Ice".
In September 2007 it changed to a slow, unresponsive and, well slow experience - but hey we got Who Wants to be A Millionaire?! There's also a 'nice' little channel in which two people discuss WeDigTV which resembles a scripted Speaking and Listening exam. Thankfully, the speed issue has been resolved... Now they just need to work on their scripting.
The original, and far better hosts [and even they were awful] seemed to disappear in December, replaced by people who haved turned WeDigTV into something aimed at little children.
September 2007 Black-and-Orange Switchover
in September 2007, the BaOS (Black and Orange Switchover) occurred on TV2. This came with a sleek new look, changing its charming old white graphics for a more professional black and orange style (hence the name of the switchover). Hearts pulsing and beating everywhere, it has developed into, apparently, the world's first TV2 Network.
The gameshows no longer had their nice little themed buttons running across the bottom of the screen, but it has now been turned into a digital-TV style menu. They must really Dig TV.
Sadly lots of things were lost in the switchover, as you can read below. But everything you know has a happy ending and they were brought back! In Operation: Get Set for 2007, the show with the most votes was evicted through a public vote. However, no votes were cast, so none were axed.
If you're into nostalgia just go to ITV Skill Games since they pinched the old WeDigTV format.
TV-2 Exclusive Gameshows and International Launch
In 2008 C-WeDigTV has it has become known is set to launch all over the globe, expanding its connectivity as far as Sealand. To promote this monumental expansion C-WeDigTV will be launching four TV2 exclusive gameshows set inside the human body in which the player has to crawl through disgusting bodily fluids and tubes.
This never happened as WeDigTV died thanks to the introduction of Noel Edmonds to the listings.
From May 2007 onwards, there has been a 'YouDigTV' section, in which the player can create their own puzzles. Whether its putting threatening messages to your enemies in conundrums or sending dodgy pictures behind those legendary CatchPhrase boards, it is sure to create conflict.
Spin TV: A video that allows you to send threatening messages and disguise yourself as George Bush. Isn't that illegal? STILL ALIVE.
Countdown Letters Game: Now you can get that 90-year old Carol Vorderman to spell out something obscene without even knowing. Well that's good, then we don't have to put up with that piercing, dreadful witch cackle of hers. There's no time given to actually MAKE A WORD, which is pretty darn stupid. AXED.
Countdown Conundrum: Pretty much a similar thing, but the word is jumbled up and the recipient must unjumble it. Again, Des Lynam will be completely oblivious to what you have put. ITSWASTED. Try and work that one out. AXED.
Make your own Catchphrase: Mentioned above, put a horrible picture behind to freak someone out. I'm thinking Cilla Black or Anne Widdicome. AXED.
Bullseye 101 Challenge: Whoever can shoot 101 Bull's Eyes the quickest wins. Simple. STILL ALIVE.
This section appears to have bitten the dust... oh wait, no it's still there.
The shows are also split up by an interactive advert (in the free versions) which include:
- Airwick: It's not good to be home, when these knock you out.
- Dettol: Fact. There are 1,000,000x more bacteria on you than on your feces, so why not eat that instead of being a cannibal?
- Strepsils: If you ever have a circular saw for a throat, try these!
- Vanish: The Alien version of Dale Winton tries to flog you some GM baking soda.
- Gaviscon: Yes, what a feeling when you down these drugs...
- Cillit Bang: Much like Vanish, but this time a much louder commercial with the prime aim of selling kill-worthy acid.
- Lemsip: WeDigTV turns its adverts into a WWE like brawl against 5 areas of a cold.
- Finish Quantum: Massive great diamonds fly around the screen in what is a sparkling display of i-advertising.
- McCain Chips: You get to sit and watch a bunch of chips fall into a bowl, then look into one of them, seeing the livestock which have been slaughtered for the accompanying cheeseburger.
- Nurofen: A sore throat always slows your typing speed, so why not down our drugs?
- Lambrini: Drink it. It's good if you're feeling the pinch.
Some awesome skills are required during these ads. Whether its dragging the mouse or clicking the mouse, you can be sure it will test you just as much as the i-games.
There is also another Cillit Bang one, but it doesn't deserve a bullet as there's no interaction involved. It's an outrage really. Oh, and as of October 13, there is another one, about Disney World. It's getting out of hand now.
The older version runs much better, but sadly lacks WWtBAM and DoND. Has a priceless charm though, doesn't it? It also misses out on that mindless banter at the start of the new version.
There's no point clicking the old one now, it's long dead.