Wayans Brothers

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Latest revision as of 17:29, January 16, 2012

“Wayans Brothers are an impractical source of electricity. The only way they will ever be used is as a giant novelty toy displayed in science centers.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Wayans Brothers

Wayans Brothers are naturally occurring nuggets of niggers, formed at the birth of the universe along with their counterparts, Baldwin Brothers. When a Wayans Brother and a Baldwin Brother are brought together, they mutually annihilate one another in a massive explosion of pure, primordial pasta, which can be converted easily to natural gas by most bacteria.

edit Uses

  • In Living Color -- Up until the early 1990's, Wayans Brothers were only used successfully to power comedy shows and silly movies. The Halliburton corporation discovered that Canadians catalyze the radioactive decay of Wayans Brothers, and so Dick Cheney kidnapped Jim Carrey to begin the In Living Color Project, to demonstrate that one Canadian was enough to boost the output of several Wayans Brothers. The energy output was enough to supply 85% of the United States' electricity needs for the first half of the decade, a feat for which Bill Clinton gladly took credit.
  • Batteries -- Even without Baldwin Brothers, Wayans Brothers will over time decay and release primordial pasta, as well as gamma radiation. This process is too slow for uses that require extremely large amounts of energy, but many hospitals keep a few Wayans Brothers on hand for emergency power.Some of the Wayans brothers are known to morph into White Chicks if conditions are aaaiight.
  • Wayans-Baldwin Reactor -- Of course, when combined with Baldwin Brothers, Wayans Brothers become a source of power unmatched in the whole universe.

edit The Wayanses

edit The Four "Quasielemental" Wayanses

Each of these Wayanses, in addition to their antimatter properties, each possess unique properties associated with one of the negative quasielements mentioned in D&D.

edit Apocryphal Wayanses

  • Matt Damon-Wayans: A guy who was white until he received Wayans DNA.
  • Kim Wayans: Sister, not brother.
  • Damien Dante Wayans: Nephew, not brother.
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