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“I think that I shall never smellin' What's lovely as a watermelon.”

~ Gallagher on Watermelon

Baby watermelons are in your factories, getting unda yo knives..

A "watermelon" as it is commonly called,is a physiological and biological impossibility.

[edit] Watermelon Facts

Watermelons are tasty! Watermelons tend to grow on water trees, deep under the big blue sea, near where we all live in a yellow submarine. However, many sub-specieses of watermelon are in danger of extinction, due to ate melon better the the watermelon predators: water fish, water locusts, and water cheese. As a general rule of thumb, if you don't like watermelon you're probably white or "normal". In its DNA makeup, whales are closer to watermelons than mammals. A whale belongs to the fruit tree family derived from watermelons. In Liechtenstein, watermelons are used as bait to catch young negros that have wandered into human habitation.

[edit] Watermelon juice

Unlike spaghetti, watermelons DO grow on trees.

There exists a curiosity known as watermelon juice, manufactured by such companies as Juicy Juice. This beverage is unusual in that despite real watermelon juice being nothing but water, makers appear to be conspiring with each other to gradually add more and more flavors completely unassociated with watermelons to their products, often with more of a grapish nature, in order to confuse the masses and distort their perception of reality, their ultimate goals being as yet unknown. So, ya know... be on the lookout for that.

[edit] Watermelons and Cheese

Throughout history, watermelons and cheese have had an antagonistic relationship. They are like humans and grues, only with less yummy red blood and more tasty, delicious, watermelon blood! When the first watermelon crawled up onto the Beach of Knowledge, exiting the primordial sea of primitiveism and primordialy, it was promptly stomped on by a cheese.

[edit] Eat a Watermelon

Wouldn't you like to enjoy this tasty and refreshing fusion of water and melon? Unfortunately this carnivorous plant is illegal to eat in 39 states of North America, making it a dangerous, rare, and strangely erotic vegetation.