Washing Machines
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[edit] Washing Machines
Used mainly in common practice for de-atomization of socks for dryer experiments. This particular piece of technology has raised many questions as to how the universe is actually put together. This is due to the fact that it has the ability to de-atomize anything placed into it. The main question being...
"How does something become de-atomized and yet still exist?" ~ The Spanish Inquisition
The reason is quite simple. All of the atoms that made up that piece of clothing still exist, they're just kept in the confines of the washing machine itself and what humans perceive as whatever was taken out, is a mere representation of that particular item. Much like Tom Cruise after getting drunk on the moon with Panda Monkeys who came from the StarGate after leaving their home planet for the wonders of the tasty bananas of the simple planet simply named banana. The item in question has an almost zero atomization level and over time is re-atomized just by being exposed to an everyday laundry drawer. However silly this may sound it is true and you'll only believe it if you see it.
[edit] De-atomization
This was the basic principle on which Dryer Vortex Technology was founded. Simply enough it is the removal of atoms from any given matter. It was realized by a scientist who set a load of dirty laundry precariously upon a shelf above a washing machine and left it there over night. In the morning he awoke to find that there had been a slight earthquake, causing the clothes to fall in the washer and that the basket in which they sat had hit the controls and activated it. When he pulled out all the clothes he was amazed to find that all of the dirt atoms had been removed from his garments. At first he thought this to be the work of garden gnomes due to the fact that he had a phobia of them.
This was later combined with the dryer/vortex research that was being conducted in recent months aiding in the new dryer-quantum-entanglement-worm-hole-vortex-portal-kitten-disapering-act and allowing the research to take off.
[edit] Atom buildup
It was about a year later when the Department of Equilateral Research of Wormholes discovered that their washers had been acting strangely. Their performance of de-atomization became erratic and unpredictable. If one placed a kitten inside the washer it would end up coming out as a ham sandwich. This baffled many, particularly due to the fact that these sandwiches tasted amazing. They commissioned all of them be placed under further study and quickly learned that due to all of the atoms that had been removed from all of the garments and kittens being placed in them were building up and would soon reach critical mass and quite possibly asplode.
[edit] Super-atomization
To remedy the impending doom of premature-explosive atom release, which is blamed for so many break-ups in the young teen populace, it was proposed that the machines be used in reverse. Not knowing if it would work or even what effects this would have they decided to proceed. So not caring about the well-being of others and acting on complete impulse Anthony Hopkins threw a kitten into one of the washers. This kitten was immediately engulfed in atoms absorbing everything that had built up from previous experiments. This kitten was instantly taken into an DOUBLE-TOP-SECRET area and nothing has been said about it since. After the kitten mishap, a sock was successfully super-atomized and placed into a dryer. It sprouted legs and arms and began to hum the tune of the old Star Trek series of which William Shatner was the captain. Upon activation, the dryer immediately engulfed itself into a singularity and popped back into existence precisely 3.14159cm to the right from where it previously was and as with most of the sock experiments the sock had disappeared. If that weren't enough, shortly after it's return Doc Brown came screeching by in a DeLorian, snatched the dryer and drove off.
