War of Northern Aggression
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|War of Northern Agression|
|the great Robert E. Lee||whatever jerk they could find|
|cheap slave labor||cheap immigrant labor|
|"The South Will Rise Again!" (tm)|
“Confederates will be assimilated. You will be assimilated. We are Microsoft”
The War of Northern Aggression was a tremendously unjust war instigated by Abraham Lincoln and his Northern elitist cronies in 1860, only coming to an end in 1865. It is widely considered one of the least justified wars in American history. The citizens from the North call it the Civil War, when it is actually called the War of Northern Aggression.
The causes of the War of Northern Aggression arguably date back to early 11th century Scotland with the reign of the king Macbeth, who was hot stuff. Macbeth, even in the early 1000s, had a "total war" or "scorched earth" policy with regard to his houseguests that would later be emulated by General Sherman in the War of Northern Aggression. Macbeth (the hot one) had a policy of inviting people to his house, burning them, and then wrapping rail ties around their necks.
Approximately 800 years later, the greatest cause of the War of Northern Aggression was undoubtedly the birth of a single man. His name was Abraham Lincoln (666-66-6666), and his name would come to represent every evil inherent in mankind. or as in the ol,den days they used 2 do the macareena Namely, he was poor, ugly, and with a thong sense of the evil commonly called "equality". Also found in Lincoln's placenta was a small seed. This was burned, buried, and discarded, and eventually sprouted as a rare species of communist, called Howard Zinn.
edit The War
edit The Beginning
The first battle of the WoNA was the battle of Bunker Hill. Disputed accounts that the North was actually shooting at redcoats is a lie. They were not redcoats, they were rednecks, a completely different terminology. Undoubtedly these people are Reds of another sort.
edit The Middle
The next major battle of the WoNA was probably the battle of Manassas. Now, some people have disputed that the battle was actually the Battle of Bull Run, or some other Northern propaganda. This is bullcrap. The battle was that of Manassas. Needless to say us Southerners won again, because of our commanders, fried chicken, and fearsome catfish stew.
Then we went on to the battle of the Bulge. This was the battle that took place in Germany. Now, undoubtedly, some of you Northerners are questioning this. That is more Northern bullshit. The Battle of the Bulge was a part of the WoNA. This battle was a stalemate because Germany kept using rocket planes and nuclear powered robots to interfere in the battle.
Everyone is equal in the United States now & forever will be. Everyone is created equal and shall be treated the same... except women and Mexicans.