Wank

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Wank is a mountain in Germany. No, really, Wikipedia says so, so it must be true. Its full name is Wankhard-Reithandkokrubben.It is not to be confused with masturbation though it includes masturbation(wanking is not masturbation but masturbation is wanking.)The term originated from the word "crank" but it no longer originates from that word, it now originates from the word "yank." The aim is to "yank" something until whatever you want comes out. This was used for things like ketchup and lotion in the old days(since mentioned items were invented) but you had to steal the idea and use it to get some semen out of your penis(or vagina??) when you were little just to see if you had it and if the teacher was right. Now you use it frequently as a form of pleasure or entertainment when you're bored(of reading Uncyclopedia). In fact, since this page is so short and boring you might as well get to it.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Wank.

Contents

[edit] Tourists

At the summit, the Bavarian Ministry of Tourism (Vizitoroffrippenkommittee) operates a kiosk selling T-shirts with the slogan "Wank — I've reached the peak". These are popular with British tourists, who swarm in their millions to the area to enjoy the natural beauty and tranquility of the Bavarian countryside, to commune with rare breeds of butterfly and head lice, and to drink the locally produced low-fat organic yogurt drink flavored with the droppings of mountain goats. Any suggestion that the British are just there to have a giggle over the name is just vicious rumor.

[edit] Discovery

Wankin was first discovered when Severus Snape invited Harry Plopper into his dungeon early in morning to watch the deleted scenes of Brokeback Mountain. It is rumored that wanking was discovered 800 years earlier while Sir Ourich Von Wankenstein was forced to sit through a Tom Cruise Movie. It was believed to be mission impossible 5. Lucky its just a rumor though, because you just can't help but feel sorry for the poor bastard.

[edit] Methods

There are many different methods to wank one of the most common is commonly known as the "grab and rub", however there are other methods:

  • Lick, Rap and Rub,
  • Slapper,
  • and Rap it with a Raccoon.

[edit] See Also

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