Waking the Cadaver
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“Oh god I love to molest children and small rodents”
~ Typical fan on Waking the Cadaver
“Do you think my super tight clothes go well with my straightened hair and lack of self esteem?”
~ Another fan on Waking the cadaver
“I can't wait to see Waking The Cadaver live, once they let me out on parole for being a faggot”
~ All the other fans on Waking the Cadaver
“We need more lemon pledge”
~ Waking the Cadaver on Themselves
“WAKE UP CADAVER!!!”
~ Waking the Cadaver on Themselves
“I LIKE...SHREDDED WHEAT!!!!”
~ Waking the Cadaver on Shredded Wheat
Waking the Cadaver is a Christan folk band who travel the German countryside singing songs about what they see. While their fans describe them as deathcore every one else agrees its the same sound that would be heard from bear walking through a industrial kitchen while on speed.
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[edit] History
They had their humble beginings as the Von Fagg family band but changed the name after the lead singer had a nightmare about zombies. They had a hard time trying to find a break since everyone in the band looked like drug addicted wookies and the small fact that their music was illeglible to everyone except tibetan growling monks , due to sounding like a dying pig being sodomised by a jumbo jet propellor, in contrast to being music
[edit] Influences
The bands main influences are Miley Cyrus, the Bee Gees, sugar gumdrops, smiles, the care bears, george clooney and picking tulips in band bonding (bondage) sessions.
[edit] Songs
Many of their songs are meaningful and poetic, like:
"Getting zits on the day of the big dance"
"The importance of brushing twice a day"
"My fringe hurts my eyes"
"She left me for a fax machine"
"If you don't listen to the whole song my grandpa will beat me"
"if only we were Annotations of An Autopsy, instead of closet gays"
"Chased through the woods by a rapist" (The band were delighted when it was annouced that their song would become the NAMBLA theme song.
[edit] Controversy
Waking The Cadaver have been the core center of many controversies, mainly owing to the fact that they are all right wing racists, homophobics, bisexual christians ministers, and testicle gobblers, who encourage interracial gay couples burning the American flag while kicking obese kids trying to lose weight who are being molested by wild animals.
[edit] Your Mother
If you like Waking the Cadaver, you are clearly either a scene kid, or a friendless douche who thinks listening to emocore such as this will make him feel better. If your mother likes them, douse your home in gasoline and take up smoking.
