WG Grace

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
WGGrace

Few have sported such an impressive beard

WG Grace, born July 18th 1848, is the only immortal cricketer in history. Using his amazing talent, mixed with his awesome beard was the first man to make cricket understandable. He simplified the rules of the game to a short phrase "Stand with bat, hit ball with bat RUN!" also, his interpretation of the bowling aspect of the game is very simple "Bowl, quick... knock sticks from ground... huh... laugh"

edit Biography

edit Family

William Gilbert (WG) Grace was born into a cricket loving family. With all his immediate family playing cricket WG Grace developed an interest at the age of just 6 years, he began playing during that game he was watching (England Gentlemen vs. Derbyshire Gentlemen) WG ran onto the pitch, exclaiming "I want a go! I want a go!" The batsman, being a gentleman, handed the bat to the young bearded man. WG Grace, very excited at this point, faced a spin ball heading from off to leg and to middle to leg and hit it for 16 runs. He then carried on to make 102* batting by himself. Until he had to go home.

edit Early Career

After his amazing 102* WG was, eventually, convinced to play professional cricket by his father. At the age of 10 WG went for a trial match for the Gentlemen, the other trialists thought it funny that WG was 10 years old and believed he could get into such a prestigious team. So WG killed them all with his level 54 Double Wind Mage Hat attack "CRITICAL HIT!" The Gentlemen felt obliged to clap and allowed WG tohe was cool enter the club.

edit Fielding and Bowling

JmajorMS2804 468x607

After losing his beard WG's appearance changed considerably

WG Grace was considered one of the best fielders of his time, and was very good. Generally he fielded at a long-leg or at silly point (he was quite the joker). WG Grace had a "safe pair of hands" and was a good quick thrower, and a fast runner.

During the beginning of his career Grace bowled fast, but calmed down during his mid 20s and began to bowl medium. However he bowled medium pace very effectively, using psychic abilities and his cool card to make the ball move and laugh.

In one match, Grace fielded behind the stumps. However he also brought himself on to bowl and got a wicket with his first ball, caught behind. He is the only cricketer in history to take a catch behind off his own bowling.

edit Profession

Grace was original a doctor by profession. But he earned much income through cricket. This was because, in Grace's words, "Not enough people are sick. I blame global warming. Oh, wait: that doesn't happen for another 40 years. Sorry guys. I blame the Government for a lack of diseases." This comment was made at a press conference in 1967 (52 years after his original death).

Grace also worked in ASDA, Sainsbury's and then Morrisons. Each time as a security guard. 2 months after his resignation from Morrisons there was a theft of all 3 stores where Grace had worked. However, when asked to go into custard he said "Erm, can't. Got a disease." So the police let him go free, in fear of catching a disease.

edit Tours

Grace toured most of Europe during 1895 with his beard. But he did tour America in 1897 to promote his upcoming album "Cricket is cool" The largest crowd Grace performed for was 18,000 in France 1895. Grace played the sitar, banjo and bongos with his beard on vocals.

edit Later years

In Grace's ending years of his cricketing career he played for Eltham using only his beard to bat.

After he retired from cricket, in 1925, he took up a professional doctoring career and cured 6 patients in 1926 and let the rest die. He later announced that he had let the rest die due to legal reasons he cannot say.


edit Immortality

Dr. Grace died in 1935, he then was re-incarnated. He didn't decide to pick up cricket again, or have a life in any cities: but instead began a colony in Africa of people with long beards. Nobody can track down the colony of bearded men as they are Nomads. However it was said he was sighted by a member of Oxfam. He made all the africans healthy

Personal tools
projects