Vote for me!

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This is an essay. It is not an ignorable policy on Uncyclopedia, so you should ignore it even more and disregard the mad ramblings of its writer. Or you could submit it as an Uncycloversity assignment in lieu of actually doing any work.

[1] Hello and welcome to the Vote for Me page. The sole purpose of this page is to secure as many votes in the voting system as possible. Come on, don't look surprised; someone was bound to make a page like this so just let yourself be lulled by the persuasive writing.

Vote Poster

edit Why Should You Not Vote for This Page

Yes you are reading right and nice to see that your eyes are still working. Many of you would say this sort of page is childish and pointless, but then again you could say that the whole site is. What's wrong with a bit of childish fun? If you found yourself questioning how immature this page is then you need to really loosen up a bit. For starters you're on the internet, go do something in reality, you know, that thing that exists when you look away from something with electricity coursing within its casing. This page is not harming anyone while you lot are voting for it, however the moment you don't bump its votes up, BAM! As I believe in the carrot as well as the stick, if this page makes it to the top of the scoreboard then all of its voters will be handsomely rewarded. How, you ask? You will just have to wait and see. But there is no harm in raising this page's score by one vote. This is not Bollocks; you will be rewarded. But you must vote for this page within ten seconds of reading this sentence.

edit Why You Should Vote for this page

This page performs miracles, it allows you to get in touch with your inner child by letting you go a bit wild and do something slightly childish. But who said it has to stop with this, why not go outside and start pratting about right now. Yes, now, go on, bye.

edit Testimonials / User Feedback

These are all real testimonials given by real people, if you have one, add it to the list, remember to sign it so you can be credited.

I have yet to vote for this page. Napoleon has yet to institute universal male sufferage, and I'm not a landowner so I can't vote yet, for I live in Revolutionary France. But I anticipate that voting for this page will be quite the adventure, and that I shall stumble upon an iPhone shortly afterwards.
love, gustav talk at menope 00:33, 8 February 2007 (UTC)
I voted Against this page and it made me a mute, left me to scrounge for fish in the cold and I did not vote for it, imagine what it can do if you do vote for it.
--Sir Silent Penguin Penguin foot "your site makes no sence" The illusion is complete 12:43, 28 December 2006 (UTC)
I voted for this page and two weeks after that I won the lottery![2]
-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 14:10, 28 December 2006 (UTC)
I voted for this page and NONE of my legs were broken as a consequence. Would buy again. A++++
-- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
I voted for this page and I received my AK-47 mail order as to shoot the postman for not delivering my Paxil in a timely fashion.
-- SpacerSpacerPremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 21:32, 28 December 2006 (UTC)
I voted for this page because someone told me too. Please don't hurt me.
-- Sir Mafagafo Icons-flag-br (talk to me) 22:02, 28 December 2006 (UTC)
I voted for this page, and if I could, I would do it again.
Braydie 22:03, 28 December 2006 (UTC)
I voted because of peer pressure, man! Jessica said she'd hold my hand if I did it. And damn, who doesn't want to nail the captain of the Uncyclopedia Pep Squad?[3]
--JohnQ.Public 23:11, 28 December 2006 (UTC)
I voted for this page and I became euphoric about everything!
--Sir OCdt Jedravent CUN UmP VFH PLS ACS WH 00:44, 29 December 2006 (UTC)
I voted for this page, and I tell you what - constant, non stop orgasms. All the time. Didn't have anything to do with voting for this article, but I had to tell someone.
-- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 01:00, 29 December 2006 (UTC)
I voted up. The wheel spun. Then I voted down to see if I could. But then I felt all broken up inside: as if I had stolen something from a crimson velvet donation bag. So I voted up again, and I felt so much at ease -- as if I'd been rewarded or something.
-- mowgli 08:39, 29 December 2006 (UTC)
I voted against. Now not even my tinfoil hat can block out the voices.
--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:30, 29 December 2006 (UTC)
I voted for this page and am now made of even more pure awesome than I was before
-- David Gerard 00:41, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
I voted for this page, and, as a result, Tom didn't give me flowers. Thank God.
--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 04:53, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
I voted against. Now I'm a lonely virgin. Wait, I've always been a lonely virgin.
--General Insineratehymn 15:44, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
I voted For. I'm now Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger, and have the ability to listen to Daft Punk without passing out.
--BaCaRuDa 17:53, 31 December 2006 (UTC)
I voted for this page, and I got shot in the leg. Don't let that discourage you, though.
Mightywayne 18:32, 31 December 2006 (UTC)
I voted this page up, and I'm happily waiting for the free sex with Sophia I was promised... [4]
User:Nintendorulez 21:11, 31 December 2006 (UTC)
I voted up. I like up. Up is foward. We shouldn't go backwards, down, sideways, diagonal, foward, up but go twirling instead.

I WAS HERE -kjhf!- 11:49, 2 January 2007 (UTC)

I voted up and as a result my mind has been filled with knowledge, wisdom and the braying of donkeys.

Yes 22:41, 2 January 2007 (UTC)

I didn't vote... fuckin' computer...

Lazylaces17:29, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

I tried to vote down, but that damn monkey wouldn't let me! CURSE YOU, MONKEY! QUIT SWIPING MY KEYS AND PEEING ON THE ANIMATED T-REX!

--Ж Kalir yes, I play Pokémon 17:30, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

Someone promised me a pizza and a brand new Buster Sword if I upvoted this... I'm sure they're just having some supply delays right now, what with everyone voting for this...

-Swordmaster 17:31, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

I voted for, and nothing happened. It's just like supporting the Libertarian Party.

--Procopius 18:39, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

I voted because this article kicks almost as much ass as I do.

--K19D 5 of January, 2007

I voted for, now where's my prize??

--AAA! (AAAA) 07:09, 7 January 2007 (UTC)

I voted for this page because I was told to! Help! PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME! wanted to on my own free will.

--Uncyclon - Do we still link to BENSON? 09:16, 7 January 2007 (UTC)

I didn't vote for this page and I found out that I was certain to die in less than one hundred years. So I voted for it, then I learnt I was statistically likely to have sex sometime in my lifetime! Thankyou Vote for me!

--Gubby 19:11, 10 January 2007 (UTC)

After campaigning for this pages' opponent, I was kicked out of college on trumped up sexual harassment charges. I was then kicked out of my house as well, and now spend my life unloading shipments. Also, Ohio State beat Michigan every single year after, Eli Manning became a good quarterback, American Idol became the most watched TV show in history, Republicans established a dictatorship over this land, and Square continued to release crappy Final Fantasy VII spinoffs, and threw out all claims to Chrono.

--Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 03:15, 13 January 2007 (UTC)

I voted fot his articale and... ähm... well, i voted for it!

--Soul Provider 18 of January, 2007

I want to vote for this page, but I can't...

--Wehpudicabok 20:32, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

I did and shall, now how many T-shirts and water coolers do I get?

--Witt, Union leader of Union member UNion Entertain me* 04:50, 26 June 2007 (UTC)

I voted against, but nothing has happened. Oh, someone's at the door, be right back! *1 minute later* HOLY FUCK THERE'S A BOMB IN THIS PACKAG-BOOOOOM!!!

--Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer 23:49, 12 August 2007 (UTC)

I voted for, but only because Silent Penguin made me.

-- Hindleyite Converse 14:10, 3 September 2007 (UTC)

I voted against, and absolutely nothing--- GAAAAACKK!!!! grgl... gheh.

-- Necropaxx (T) {~} 22:34, 8 April 2008 (UTC)

edit Footnotes

  1. Note, everything wasn't fine. I clicked this button and I died 2 days later. I was diagnosed with cancer 6 months before, but that has nothing to do with it.
  2. I didn't win the lottery.
  3. I only got to 2nd base. What a gip!
  4. Why does everyone else get cool stuff while I remain a lonely virgin...

edit See Also

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