- For what parents often tell their children about pregnancy, see Mythical Theory of Pregnancy.
Pregnancy is a nine month period in a woman's life when she feels compelled to devour people whole, alive, and without chewing. The cause is a natural one, but is usually triggered after sexual intercourse.
History has strongly been affected by Pregnancy and it has plagued humanity for many years. The eating of people often caused annoyance, especially to those who had been eaten. This meant that homosexuals and virgins became more prolific since lovers were usually the first to be eaten.
Since then, it has been accepted as a natural part of life, and even a fetish known as pregnophilia has been based around it. Nonetheless, consumption of other humans remains considerably controversial, with predators often needing to hide the fact that they are out to eat people. Many pregnant women who have been interviewed on the subject described eating people is a sensual experience which they cherish, and nowadays they see others as mere snacks for themselves. Although, details are sketchy since most interviewers are devoured before they can report. Nonetheless, most women believe that they have every right to eat people due to the fact that they also supply sex and slavery for men. Effectively, this causes the world to in fact, be ruled by women.
It is just a matter of time before evolution causes pregnancy to overwhelm women and cause them to devour the Earth and all life beyond.
edit Notable Incidents
- Ohio (1959) Sasha Von Pondus is convinced her husband's condom broke and she is pregnant. The newlyweds die from suffocation when she tries to swallow him head first.
- Hollywood (1998) Pamela Anderson devoured the band Lit in their entirety. Lit were known for their diminutive 6-inch size (and I'm not talking about their pen0rs either), resulting in an unusual practically invisible pregnancy.
- London (1997) A Ms. Sharon Harrison is devoured by her teenage daughter, who proceeds to eat her father and attempt a sexual relationship with her brother. Things goes awry and her brother is devoured.
- Tokyo (1999) Ming Ishiro eats herself on a dare, with hilarious results.
- Nashville (2004) Vicky Toomes, a long time anti-cannibalism voter, decides to eat her boyfriend after hearing about weight maintenance. After seeing her increased bust, she continues to finish of his and her family. Vicky, still convinced she is getting sexier, has now become one mile in height and two in diameter, and is slowly devouring all life on Earth.
- California (2007) Jamie Lynn Spears announces she is pregnant. Zoey 101 is soon canceled after she eats most of the cast members.
- Seattle (2011) Jeanne McCurdy is wrongly assumed to be pregnant after eating Miranda Cosgrove and Nathan Kress. It turns out, she was just a cannibal, but the pregnancy scare forces the cancellation of ICarly since most the cast was devoured.
edit Side Effects
In some cases, Pregnant woman have trouble digesting their meals. This results in the body becoming confused and instead, turn the intended victim into a newborn child and releasing it through the females sex organs. But in most cases, the baby is delivered by the Stork right after the pregnancy ends, with the idea that the woman shouldn't get pregnant again for a while, and the baby will be able to grow up without being eaten by its mother, in theory. Occasionally, a Stork will deliver a baby a random times, with no related pregnancy, such as was the case with Sarah Palin's most recent child.
Pregnophilia is a fetish surrounding Pregnancy. Mainly, the part of a woman's large gut. Writing.com, Eka's Portal and Deviant Art are excellent sources of pregnophilia stories and pics. Often, the cannibalistic side of pregnophilia is eliminated in turn for the idea that women simply have babies growing in their bellies while pregnant, and that the cannibalistic side of it is unique to them, psh, as if, I'm writing this on a laptop within my pregnant mother's belly right now! She says hi.
edit See also
|Sexual Fetishes, Paraphilias, and Assorted Perversions|
|•••••Your Guide To Cannibalism•••••|
Alfred Packer • Baby Eating • Baby farming • Baby food • Baby meat • Cannibal Corpse • Cannibalism • Cannibals • Celebrity Roast • Communion • Cunnilingus • Dinner Party • Fellatio • Fishing For Children • Flying Purple People Eater • G-Rex • Hannibal Lecter • HowTo Cook A Human • HowTo Cook Children • HowTo:Cook A Fetus • Human head • I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green • McDahmer's • Meaty Amin • Mike Tyson • Nazi Eating • New Zealand • People • Recipes • Supergirl • Sweeney Todd • Uncle John's Fetus Burgers and Abortion Clinic •UnNews Cannibalism becoming increasingly popular • UnNews Cannibals Stopped • UnNews New TV Trend • UnNews Soylent Green Defamation • Why? Don't Be A Cannibal • Vore • Why? Eat People • Zombies