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For what parents often tell there children about pregnancy, see Mythical Theory of Pregnancy.
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Pregnancy is the gift that keeps on giving

~ Oscar Wilde on Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a nine month period in a woman's life when she feels compelled to devour people whole, alive, and without chewing. The cause is a natural one, but is usually triggered after sexual intercourse.

Contents

[edit] Overview

History has strongly been affected by Pregnancy and it has plagued humanity for many years. The eating of people often caused annoyance, especially to those who had been eaten. This meant that homosexuals and virgins became more prolific since lovers were usually the first to be eaten.

This poor fellow thought his virginity would finally be put to an end.

Since then, it has been accepted as a natural part of life, and even a fetish known as pregnophilia has been based around it. Nonetheless, consumption of other humans remains considerably controversial, with predators often needing to hide the fact that they are out to eat people. Many pregnant women, or "Preggoes, Preggies, Preggers, Pregbellies, Pregpotters, Preginators, Drew Carey's," who have been interviewed on the subject described eating people is a sensual experience which they cherish, and nowadays they see others as mere snacks for themselves, though details are sketchy seeming how most interviewers are devoured before they can report. Nonetheless, most women believe that they have every right to eat people due to the fact that they also supply sex and slavery for men. Effectively, this causes the world to in fact, be ruled by women.

It is just a matter of time before evolution causes pregnancy to overwhelm women and cause them to devour the Earth and all life beyond.

[edit] Notable Incidents

  • Ohio (1959) Sasha Von Pondus is convinced her husband's condom broke and she is pregnant. The newlyweds die from suffocation when she tries to swallow him head first.
  • Hollywood (1986) Pamela Anderson becomes pregnant and devour her lesbian lover. After this, she returns to the set of Baywatch and turns the entire cast into fetishists.
  • London (1997) A Ms. Sharon Harrison is devoured by her teenage daughter, who proceeds to eat her father and attempt a sexual relationship with her brother. Things goes awry and her brother is devoured.
  • Tokyo (1999) Ming Ishiro eats herself on a dare, with hilarious results.
  • Nashville (2008) Vicky Toomes, a long time anti-cannibalism voter, decides to eat her boyfriend after hearing about weight maintenance. After seeing her increased bust, she continues to finish of his and her family. Vicky, still convinced she is getting sexier, has now become one mile in height and two in diameter, and is slowly devouring all life on Earth.
  • Hardtopronouncia (Some Point in Time) A Cheerleading Squad throw a party with their boyfriends and go to cheering practice the next day. Oddly, the last one remaining turned out to be a Drag Queen.
  • Whereveryoulive (not too distant future) you will be greeted by freakishly sexy woman who is so hot, even if your a straight woman you wanna hump her mind out. She offers a relationship, minus "the relationship," you accept with predictable results.

[edit] Side Effects

This is my mom. As you see, I got eaten and I'm in her belly.

In some cases, Pregnant woman have trouble digesting their meals. This results in the body becoming confused and instead, turn the intended victim into a newborn child and releasing it through the females sex organs. But in most cases, the baby is delivered by the Stork right after the pregnancy ends, with the idea that the woman shouldn't get pregnant again for a while, and the baby will be able to grow up without being eaten by its mother, in theory. Occasionally, a Stork will deliver a baby a random times, with no related pregnancy, such as was the case with Sarah Palin's most recent child.

[edit] The Future

It is believed that by the year 2003, women will have eaten off the Earths population to a single, hugely pregnant woman. It has been often believed that Australian comedian, Rebel Wilson will be the woman destined for greatness, who will eventually devour the Earth and all existence, and eventually "nonexistence," but she has recently declared that she would not, as is if she did this, she would be out of food.

Also, since 2003 had long since past, it can only be assumed that Pamela Anderson somehow absorbed the hunger from preggoes and turned it into sex appeal, setting the timer back by at least two thousand years.

[edit] Pregnophilia

Pregnophilia is a fetish surrounding Pregnancy. Mainly, the part of a woman's large gut. Writing.com, Eka's Portal and Deviant Art are excellent sources of pregnophilia stories and pics. Often, the cannibalistic side of pregnophilia is eliminated in turn for the idea that women simply have babies growing in their bellies while pregnant, and that the cannibalistic side of it is unique to them, psh, as if, I'm writing this on a laptop within my pregnant mother right now! She says hi.

[edit] See also

Sexual Fetishes, Paraphilias, and Assorted Perversions



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