From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Vincent Valentine was one of the main characters in Final Fantasy VII, and forerunner of the Vampire Ninja. He spends the bulk of the time during the events in Final Fantasy VII either sleeping in a coffin or sitting in the corner of the Highwind talking to himself, but still not being able to control the conversation.
Despite being one of the two "optional" characters, Vincent developed quite a large fanbase. Vincent was also the star of his own video game, "Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus", that even people who have played it don't even recall.
As a child, Vincent had a very troubled upbringing. Born with a low IQ as well as defects in his leg muscles, kids at school were continually bullying him. His mother was fiercely over-protective of young Vincent as a result, and is said to have personally stormed out to the homes of those who gave him a hard time.
His struggle with school led other kids to think of him as 'stupid', making fun of his lack of intelligence as well as his strange voice. It was to this he would reply, per his mother's instructions, "Stupid is as stupid does."
Another source of misery was Vincent's other strange qualities- such as a being a vampire and werewolf simultaneously. His classmates would mock him about this in particular, instilling a deep sense of self-consciousness and lack of self-esteem.
Vincent's leg disability, however, was a battle he was able to overcome. Despite the doctor's insistence that he "would never be able to walk normally" without his special metal leg braces, he suddenly did so while being chased by mean Cactaurs. He was so good, in fact, that he went on to win his high school track tournament. (Being cheered on by his childhood friend Lucrecia, saying "Run, Vincent, Run!") From this point on, Vincent was on his way to getting his life back. However, future events would hinder him in his quest for happiness.
edit Controversy At The Aeris Gainsborough Murder Trial
Main Article: Aeris Gainsborough Murder Trial
Due to Vincent's role as an "optional" character in Final Fantasy VII, When Vincent took the stand, he answered each question with a series of "I don't know"-s and "Maybe"-s and without showing any sympathy for the victim or her family and friends. When leaving the stand, Vincent exploded and let loose a harsh rant filled with obscene language, body gestures, and racial slurs. Shortly after, Vincent held a press conference apologizing and put out this statement.
“Look, you've got to understand. I'm an optional character. I MAY have been there when she was killed, or maybe I wasn't. This is the way RPGs work. I'm sorry I cannot be of any help to the case.”
edit 2006: The Rise and Fall of "V-Tine"
Due to the success of Final Fantasy VII, and its near infinite number of spin-offs, Vincent decided to try to make a return to the video game market. Once the word got out, Vincent was a star again. Unfortunately, once some of the reviews for the game came out, Vincent was back to his life of non-existence.
“He was thinking about it since the PS3 Tech Demo came out. I kept on telling him, "No. People don't want to pay money for a crappy shooting game based off you. The story sucks. The controls suck. And what's with the HP/MP system? This isn't a turn based game. Are you retarded?" But NOOO. He didn't listen to me.”
ZEMUS CONTROLLED GOLBEZ ALL ALONG