From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
A video game is an electronic device designed by the government to promote activity and interaction among people. Games can be played on either a console or a computer, with the aid of a mystical device known as a "controller", or in the case of a PC, a keyboard and mouse.
Video games are generally popular among those in the 18–34 age bracket; in other words, college frat boys. However, to the 50-and-over crowd, games are Satanic propaganda tools, and attempts to repeal them have been bravely proposed by numerous elder senators.
Early video games were made not for pleasure, but instead as secret weapons by the Interpol to be used as artificial intelligent spies. Deliberately manipulated to seem "fun", they are anything but. The earliest example was from a 1947 invention created by an Agent of the interpol, which he called a "Cathelode ray tube", a device that was made to look like a mini - television device - with two buttons of the colours yellow and red. Should the subject press the yellow button, the television device would open a mini door and a piece of chocolate would pop out of the device, at the same time, a gloved hands would reach out of the device and pat the subject on the head, announcing well done!. Should the subject press the red button, the gloved hand from the device would slap the subject in the mouth numerous times before self-destructing and imploding the device through a complicated manner.
This artificially created device was patented and was used to further excite their targets without the need to rape them anally and gained popularity after Wikileaks became an ass and leaked the "confidential" news to the media. The Interpol will ever since then, hang their heads in shame at their unforgivable mistake of leaking such a powerful weapon to the population of America.
Since this device was leaked, numerous spin-offs were sold and they gained mass media attention worldwide. However, in order to cover up the real motive behind the invention of a "video game", the Interpol relieved the population of their worries by announcing that the new motive of a "video game" is to get the high score and receive free publicity all year with free chocolate.
The function of a video game was made to hypnotize the brain of the subject. While in historical times, the Interpol interrogated subjects by chaining them to bears and watching them struggle furiously out of the chains and would not release them until the subject responsible for the suspected action wail out their crimes and beg for mercy.
The video game was made to prevent torture ever being used again (though it is debatable) and was used by the Interpol to manipulate the brain of the person. The subject playing a video game would start feeling uncomfortable after several hours playing a video game - this was because the interrogator, as ordered to, refuses the subject's wails and beggings to go the toilet and is only allowed to pee after he completes, by the international political rules as stated, three quarters of the game. However, video games are deliberately made to be extremely difficult to finish and unlike our Modern pumpkin shit nowadays, games made by the Interpol were separated by chapters, each chapter so tediously long and boring, some subjects even begged to be killed to be released of their misery.
However, during The Great Bunny War, video games were used by numerous people who were desperate for entertainment as their former source of entertainment, which was fucking hot chicks, was depleted of due to the high death toll of the female society. Video games were then edited by productions such as Bungie Studios, Sledgehammer games and Electronic Arts to be made less obscene and more exciting for subjects who protested against the chapter format of early video games.
This eventually resulted in the new page of video games called first person shooters. Though most of these games promote terrorism and sadistic killings for fun, many critics approved of this new invention, praising the new function of video games (360 no scope). A particular enthusiastic one was Osama bin Laden, who called first person shooters much better than those old versions which torture terrorists and will not allow them to pee until they finish the game. He also then added that I love this kind of games because it promotes things I love to do. The Interpol complained they did not understand what Osama was talking about and they themselves reviewed the game, calling it horrible, dicky and stupid. But nobody cares, really.
Follow-ups to first person shooters were third and fourth person shooters, both met with approval of by critics. A particular one reviewed : It is really, really amazing. I could not help clapping my hands and laughing as I shot people's intestines off right before their eyes. It was also very fun to set off bombs and blow their asses off! And the best part is the graphics are so real, I actually thought I was a real mass murderer at one point! Oh, I just love these sort of games where I can blow innocent people's heads off and NOT get the death penalty!.
Other versions of games will not be included because no one really gives a shit about them.
Mathematical terms with Video Games
For thousands pointless of years, the nerds behind video games were a mystery to the general public. Intrepid, visionary, and often controversial actions of such visionaries as Albert Einstein and Hilary Clinton have solved these problems by developing an equation that summarizes video games :
A: Responsibility-free parents
B: Impressionable children
: Video games
Video games in relation to saving America
|Featured Article (read another featured article)|
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
| Quasi-Featured Article (7 March 2012)|
This article was nominated to become a featured article; however, due to several votes being devoured by an Ohmu, it didn't make the cut (6/11). Don't let this happen again! For just pennies a day, you can prevent another travesty of this nature, or vote for other articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.