Video Game Criticism

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“So violence in video games, good or bad. Personally I don't care, I love a good gore game, plus anything to do with stealth kills, head explosions, and the all mighty fav. the cat silencer...What has this world come too when I can't play a good and simple gore game, come on, if these political idiots get there way and ban our favorite games what next, ban the internet, or books even . . .”
~ Robert Newell on Video game criticism

Video games criticism is a modern firestorm prompted by "violence" and "suggestive themes" in video games. The kindlers of this firestorm include politicians, parents, canines and nonexistent children, each treated separately below.

edit Politicians

Politicians pose the largest threat for many video game fans (i.e. with the exception of those who play educational video games). Politicians have come the consensus that Grand Theft Auto is by far the most violent, perverse game series, having never heard of hentai. Though the franchise started many years before their controversial release of Grand Theft Auto III, this is the first time it has come under the scrutiny of the political spectrum. But the first video game that was under political attack was Mortal Kombat. As one of the first easily accessible video game that displayed blood and depicted and encouraged gore-filled scenes. Politicians have outwardly spoken on their obvious hatred of all things entertaining that they, themselves, are incapable of understanding. Such attitudes can be summed into two different categories:

  1. "Video Game violence teaches children to bathe in the blood of their enemies."
  2. "Instead of Eurocentrist art museums and their statutory rape, now it's Japan's turn to rule the world with robo porn."

Politicians want to destroy video games in favor of cosplay conventions every Sunday. However, they still love pwning noobs at drone strikes, as long as they don't have to press the buttons themselves.

edit Parents

Parents have been caught in the middle of this debate. Their children have been trying to convince them that their violence has not been caused by video games, but rather by Republicans using The Hunger Games as their party platform.

Instead of teaching children "real-life" situations such as knocking the coins out of invisible floating bricks or by running down hookers in your pimp-mobile, politicians wish parents to believe that children will reenact these situations by vicarious learning, thus almost conditioning them to commit horrendous acts against turtles.

edit Dogs

Dogs require attention from their owners in order to survive the domestic lifestyle. Children no longer desire the responsibility to take care of dogs. The dogs are taking notice to this trend and its correlation to video games. Dogs have attempted to break into video games in order to return popular culture focus back onto themselves. Dogs are not welcoming their new spot in the closet with all the other forgotten toys. On the other hand, cats are more popular than ever, due to their low maintenance and love of wanton killing.

edit See also

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