Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
With crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!
1834 - The best day in all of history! There'll never ever be another day like it! It's amazing!
1901 - President Teddy Roosevelt mounts his wife: BULLY!
1922 - Warren G. Harding's popularity at an all time high! New York Times: "Harding is the Best President Ever!"
1928 - Canadian dollar tops U.S. Dollar in World Markets!
1935 - Champaign Toasts and Caviar Dreams great newborn Robin Leach!
1944 - Concentration Camp deaths in Poland reach a new zenith! Hitler asks, Who knew Jews could be so results oriented?
1965 - The mildest day in the history of the universe. No other day was as mild. Ever.
- The worst day in the history of the universe, so much so that no one mentioned it and so we no longer know when it was. But we do know that it was some time between 1965 and 1988.
1986 - Ronald Reagan stays awake for an entire cabinet meeting!
1988 - A group of the world most talented musicians come together to write the greatest song in the history of the world. It has a sound so astonishingly incredible and so incredibly beautiful that people come from all over the world just to hear it played at its one and only live performance at the grandest stadium in the world, the Metrodome.
1990 - Oprah is so hungry she could eat a horse. Twice!
2006 - Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy spewed out sperm so high it touched the stars.
2007 - The best night I've ever had. Ever!
2011- I just had sex. And it felt so good. Ya know a woman let me put my penis inside her. Say goodbye to cats !
2016 - You became a 1337 haxor for 5 seconds before going back to being a n00b.
A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes.
This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is.