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Welcome To Vogonopedia,

31,426 Planets Destroyed for Interstellar Bypass

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Featured Vogon Poem

H2g2vogon

Gashee morphousite

Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More...

Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada

Yesterday's featured poem

VogonPoem

Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly,

Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More...

Vogon Trivia

  • ...That all of the diodes on my right side ache?
  • ...That all of the diodes on my right side ache?
  • ...That all of the diodes on my right side ache?

Constructor Fleet Headlines

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Second Front Pages: BrexitHillary!UK 2015 electionGreece

On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster...

Nun Monkey Boxing

August 26: Creationism Vs. Evolution Annual Boxing Match/International Ameobic Birthday/The day before the day after Tomorrow

  • 200,000,000,000,000,000 BC - God Creates existence. By creating existence, and simultaniously existing before existance, He created a paradox that came alive and tore a hole in the universe. Out of that hole, several thousand extremely surprised roadside diner waitresses named "Tiff" floated and suddenly (and not that surprisingly) died of asphyxiation.
  • 12,032 BC - Wheel was invented by Sally and Bill Thompson from Scunthorpe UK.
  • 5000 BC - Creationists evolve from homo sapiens.
  • 1303 - Ala ud din Khilji won Chittor. It was behind door number 3.
  • 1362 - Nothing happened. At all.
  • 1567 - A great feast held by Duke Crisco The Lard is held at his home in Edinburgh. The resulting mass cannibalism is atributed to the duke's great hunger for "Scots"
  • 1963 - August 26th is designated the official birthday of all ameobas by their UN Representative.
  • 1971 - The discovery that God created Evolution makes scientists and theologians come together in a peace pact signed by the seventh incartion of Charles Darwin (a slightly confused Chimpanzee named BoBo) and the Mecha-Pope (a blue 1965 oldsmobile named Oldsmobile Model #32415 Serial:45563901).
  • 1980 - The peace pact ends when Jerry Falwell decides to test everyone's faith by defying logic, saying that the entire universe was created in a 7 24 hour day period.
  • 1981 - The right wing nutjobs abandon science and logic to be creationists, while the [[left wing liberal sissies abandon all hope of spiritual salvation and Heaven to be evolutionists.
  • 1990 - At a creation/evolution debate, creationists kick the evolutionist's asses when they use the argument: Where did the ball that started the big bang come from?
  • 1997 - God seeing all the confusion between the creationists and evolutionists reacts to it by doing absolutely nothing.
  • 2008 - Another poorly written comedy article that nobody will ever read appears on uncyclopedia.
  • 2025 - A pastor begins to question creationism.
  • 2040 - After 60 years of pointless debates from 2 sides which both have truth, creationists and evolutionists come together once again and finally agree that God created evolution. There is now peace on earth and everyone lives happily ever after :-)

Today's featured picture

Vogon

The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair

Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
Edit Caption - Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images</small>

Recent Poems

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Strauss and Howe | Cartoon Network (r/w) | Billy Joel (r/w) | Tim Berners-Lee (pictured) | Saturday Night Fever | Anarchy | Theresa May | Tim Farron | Benedict Cumberbatch | Melania Trump | Courtney Love | Pokémon Go | Pets | Lapwing | Brexit | Glastonbury Festival | Dog (r/w) | Stradbroke (r/w) | Hotline (disambiguation) | Worcester, England | Canon (camera) | Rolls Royce | Accident | BMW | Ares | Audi | Lana Del Rey | Bird (rw) | Edexcel | Manchester NH | Springtime writing contest: Lemonade | Boaty McBoatface |


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Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month

Wotm

A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes.


Toweldog

This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is.


Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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