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30,614 Planets Destroyed for Interstellar Bypass

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Featured Vogon Poem

H2g2vogon

Gashee morphousite

Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More...

Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada

Yesterday's featured poem

VogonPoem

Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly,

Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More...

Vogon Trivia

  • ...That there are ten thousand monkeys outside the door who wish to discuss their play script for Hamlet?
  • ...That there are ten thousand monkeys outside the door who wish to discuss their play script for Hamlet?
  • ...That there are ten thousand monkeys outside the door who wish to discuss their play script for Hamlet?

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On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster...

Yougonnaget

Always a concern on National Hysteria Day.

July 22: Oh, my God! It's National Hysteria Day, and you HAVEN'T MADE ANY PLANS!

  • 0 - Scientist decide the Earth is round, not flat. This is proven wrong when a sailor "falls" of the world and is never seen again.
  • 1066 - King Harold inaugerates National Hysteria Day with his famous speech "Holy shit! It's the fucking Normans! AAAAAAAAA!"
  • 1855 - An brief cease-fire is called in the Crimean War until Lord Raglan gets his sobbing under control.
  • 1929 - Dozens of stockbrokers and bankers leap out of windows in wild National Hysteria Day celebration.
  • 1966 - Australian Prime Minister Sir Robert Menzies celebrates the nine hundredth anniversary of National Hysteria Day by running around in circles, screaming.
  • 1986 - Copious amounts of vodka-induced partying causes several employees of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant to hysterically panic when the reactor can't handle the sound system. They take out a few control rods to compensate the drain on the power grid.
  • 1990 - Media outlets report the outbreak of a deadly virus in the United States. Thirty-eight people die of panic attacks from the announcement, and two people are killed by the virus itself.
  • 2006 - TOTAL FUCKING HYSTERIA!!!

Today's featured picture

Vogon

The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair

Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
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Recent Poems

Fringe | Millard Fillmore | Garter | Jared Leto (rw) | Counties of England | Bosnia and Herzegovina | Anderson Bruford Wakeman Howe | Boko Haram (repl) | Khmer Rouge | Sexual physics | Cruel and unusual punishment | Gravity (film) | Benzene | Glory hole | Tucson | Olfaction | ROBLOX | Donner Pass | South Carolina Highway Patrol | Method acting | Gretna Green | Narendra Modi | Kenya | Gluten | Tunisia (repl) | Dummy (rw) | PEBKAC | Sushi (rw) | End Time | Strange Fruit | Isaac Asimov


More recent poems | Most wanted poems | Requested poems | Add to stubs | Lonely poems | Poetry Review | Try writing a poem about... | Stuck stanzas

Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month

Wotm

A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes.


Toweldog

This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is.


Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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