Very Large Array

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The Very Large Array (VLA) is an array of 27 parabolic dishes that is in a secret place in New Mexico (USA) which is not Roswell. Its official purpose is radio astrology. It has many unofficial purposes, which cannot be stated in public.

edit Description

The VLA was originally conceived as a set for the movie Contract. After the success of the movie, the NSA (National Society of Astrologers) got the idea that such an array would be extremely useful for tracking the horoscopes of every individual on the planet.

The technique used by the VLA is called Earth Rotation Synthesis (ERS) and was invented by Sir Francis Bacon (well known inventor of Bacon and Egg). Sir Bacon got the IgNoble prize in physics in 1974 for inventing this technique. ERS effectively rotates the North Pole to the South Pole and the horoscope of an invidual invert itself. After doing this twice, you can synthesize the future of that individual with absolute certainty. 27 dishes in an Y shape are used to do that polarity rotation in steps of 120^o. When asked why ? The answer being Y anihilates the question thus the genius of Sir Bacon.

edit Some Major Predictions

  • New Mexico will remain newer than Mexico
  • Jodie Foster will star in a movie called Science of the Lambic
  • The existence of Mauritians
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