City of Venice


Venetian Coat of Arms

Motto"Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm!"
Established 568 A.D.
Government Type Statue Garden
Doge in Charge Marino Faliero
Location Northeastern Top of the Boot
Population 250,000
Size Mens US 9 or UK 8 1/2
Patron Saint Latios and Latias
Best Painter Titian
Best Architects Mario & Luigi
For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Venice.

“Where I lost my virginity. No, my other virginity *wink*”
~ Oscar Wilde on Venice

Buon giorno. Welcome to Venetian. I am your Gondoladriver Giuseppe. If you will kindly follow me, I will show you all the best places to Roberts eyes. Please don’t wander away from the tour or I will have to Kickinthepants2. Under your seat you will find a Orangefoamlifejacket, put it on if you plan to do any serious Drinkingbeer.

Remember to keep your Handsinsidethevehicle and Feetinsidethevehicle inside the Gondolavehicle at ALL TIMES. Our first stop will be an important cultural center, our friendly neighborhood Morewineplease store. I like to get good and Saucedup up before I start the tour. VeniceWaterway is divided into Numbersixcursive districts. The first is called Canarybird row or Cannaregio. It is home to many Darthvaderbegging who keep busy working over tourists around the Grand Grandcanal . On your Left handside you will notice the Jewish Ghetto leads us to the small district of San Polo. Venice is not a slum shithole. Please do not slum down this enviable place by bringing in banknotes less worth than shitty €50. We honestly dont like these €50 notes either.

We also have lives and don't waste time doing that with the pictures.

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