Veggie Tales
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“I love your religious propaganda clumsily disguised as children's programming!”
~ Wooldoor Sockbat on Veggie Tales
“*singing* God is watching everything you do!!”
~ Veggie Tales on privacy violations
[edit] The Awesome History of Veggie Tales
Veggie Tales was created by the one and only Adolf Hitler and co-created by MacGyver in 1941 during the height of World War II. Being the really nice guy that he was, Hitler wanted to convert all of the little Jewish children of Germany to Christianity, so that he wouldn't have to kill them in the Holocaust. However, he didn't know how to do this, so he thought about it all day long, and then he came up with the idea of talking veggies that love Jesus and God and everything not Jewish, but Christian. So he decided to make it a television show, because the only thing that kids do is watch TV, especially Jews. On December 7, 1941, the first episode of Veggie Tales was aired on Nazi MTV. Sadly, the episode was a complete failure, because when the kids read the beginning credits for the show, and they saw Hitler's name and they got very scared. So they ran away crying to their Jewish parents who were also very scared and began to scream and run around in circles. This is actually what made the Japanese attack Pearl Harbor that day, because the screams of crazy Jewish folk could be heard all over the world and the Japanese didn't like it, so they bombed the United States. But then, on July 4, 1942, the second episode of Veggie Tales was aired, and the little Jewish children were actually brave enough to watch it. The children all converted to Christianity due to the awesome power of Veggie Tales. Hitler was happy too, because he didn't have to kill as many people as he was planning to.
[edit] Veggie Tales Plot
Episode 1 is hosted by Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber. Larry first greets everybody by saying "Hello kids! Welcome to Veggie Tales! Lets read an e-mail from a creepy emo kid from the mid-west!" Then they read the e-mail from the creepy emo kid, which usually says in episode 1: "Dear Bob and Larry, I canceled his Silly songs until further notice, Your friend, Creepy Emo Kid." Larry usually says this after reading the letter: "Wow... why do all of the fucked up kids send us letters and not the normal ones? Anyways, We have a story to show you Creeepy Emo Kid. Roll film!" And then the first story plays, which usually has something to do with Pa Grape watching a Frankencelery show and he's afraid. Then there is a Silly Songs with Industrial Rock Musicians segment after the first story. Either way Larry sings every silly song. After the Silly Songs segment, there is usually another story that has to do with King Darius who signed a law and who throws Daniel into the lion's den, and then episode 1 ends with Larry saying "Well Creepy Emo Kid, I hoped you learned a lot today! Lets read a verse of Romans 12:10!" And then, Pa Grape says "Good idea!" while the computer beeps up and Mr. Lunt reads a verse, here's the verse of Romans 12:10 the way; "Love each other by brothers and sisters and others, loving are about it as ourselves. Romans 12:10" off of the computer and that's it.
[edit] Characters
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[edit] Larry the Cucumber
Larry is the co-host of Veggie Tales and he likes to act like a 3-year-old all of the time. He is also known for eating ice cream with Archibald the Asparagus in episode 14. He has kissed him numerous times in every single Larry Boy episode that has been created. Larry also has gotten the munchies and sea monsters on the "afraid of the" list, as shown in this silly song where his list was shown. He is also known for being a religious extremist and very homicidal. He displayed this behavior when he and Bob the Tomato made a guest appearance on the popular reality show who get attacked by sea monsters in episode 28. His secret ambition is to eat Bob the Tomato
[edit] Archibald Asparagus
Archibald has a British accent and wears a monocle on his right eye. These two factors make crazy and rabid fan-girls think that he is a "sexy" vegetable, and therefore, voting the silly song countdown by Pa Grape after he got searches Samson's Hairbrush in episode 12.
[edit] Junior Asparagus
Junior Asparagus was sued by J.R.R. Tolkien for playing the part of "Toto Baggypants" in one episode. It is said that they "stole" his bean of Lord of the Rings, and I mean "they" as in Hitler, Chuck Norris, and the cast of Veggie Tales. Junior Asparagus was also raped by Trent Reznor in the episode "The Great Duck War".
[edit] The French Peas
The main French peas are Jean Claude and Felipe. They are often seen taunting the other veggie tales characters(ie: josh and the big wall, they play the soldiers on the wall). They also had guest appearances in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, not as the taunting French soldiers on the wall but as the vegies that were thrown at Arthur, et al
[edit] Nebba K. Nezzer
This character is said to be the missing link and a reincarnation of Steve Irwin. He is a giant zucchini that likes to eat other zucchini. He also likes to murder carrots.
[edit] Laura Carrot
Laura is a carrot with no middle name since she's not that important. Playing Gideon, a tuba warrior of the battle by Bob, Archie, Larry, and the German peas after she got a volunteer at a toy drive in episode 20.
[edit] Petunia Rhubarb
She is Larry's lover in a couple of episodes including "Larry Boy Returns in Spandex!" and "Larry Boy and the Long, Hot Summer Night (SUPER DUPER UNRATED VERSION)" even though we all know that Archibald is the one that Larry is really interested in by the Queen.
[edit] Mr. Lunt
He is Nebba K.'s friend because he's important. Pirate Lunt, who steals the bean by Ear-a-Corn, after he got sleepy in episode 13.
[edit] Miss Achmetha
She is Larry's debuter, As riding on a buffalo named Zippy after she got the burning tumbleweed squishy in episode 21.
[edit] Pa Grape
He is owner by, who watches a scary Frankencelery movie and he's afraid after he got the Golden Rule in episode 1.
[edit] Jimmy and Jerry Gourds
They are important of Bob and Larry, chopping into salad in a bowl with other veggies in it after they eat Mr. Twisty's Twisted Cheese Curls in the morning in episode 23.
[edit] Buzz-Saw Louie
He was a nice buzz-saw built toy. He killed Junior in episode 5. He later appeared by "The Yodeling Veterinarian napper of the Alps" taking care of his pet puppy in episode 26.
[edit] Episodes
1 I'm Afraid of the Elmo Under my Bed (First appearance of Pa Grape who watches a Frankencelery show after he get the golden ruler)
2 Yeah for Christinity and Nazis! (a.k.a. I'm sorry for the Nazis, beans and the Faggots.)
3 The Great Battle of the Kitchen Sink (a.k.a. Mr. Lunt's Wonderful World of Dinkletown!)
4 Jesus is the Awesomeness!!!!
5 The Toy That Almost Killed Us! (The True Story of Buzz-Saw Louie, [Louie killed Junior in Dinkletown])
6 Muslims are evil.... ask Chuck Norris! (a.k.a. Mushrooms are evil.... ask Tommy Louis!)
7 The Beautiful People (First Silly Song Segment with Marilyn Manson)
8 Year Zero (First Silly Song Segment with Trent Reznor)
9 The Story of Esther and How She Killed the Easter Bunny!
10 Muhammad's Revenge!! Believe It!!! Ask Naruto!!!!!!
11 The Star of Christmas, and Hanukkah Doesn't Get a Star (Appearance of the German peas who riding on Seymour's rocket car with Cavis (Bob) and Millward (Larry) after the German peas got an orbit)
12 An Easter Carol (Appearance of Archibald who vote the Silly Song countdown with Pa after searching Samson's Hairbrush)
13 The Lord of The Beans (Appearance of Pirate Lunt, who steals the bean by Ear-A-Corn (played by Larry the Cucumber), after he got sleepy, (UNRATED VERSION))
14 The Great Duck War (Appearance of Larry who is eating ice cream with Archibald Asparagus)
15 Larry-Boy! & the Faggot from Outer Space!
16 Larry Boy Returns
17 Larry Boy Returns in Spandex!
18 Larry Boy and the Gossip Nazi
19 Larry Boy and the Long, Hot Summmer Night (SUPER DUPER UNRATED VERSION)
20 Gideon and the Great Tuba Battle At Gettysburg!!!!! HUZZAH!!!! (appearance of Laura Carrot, playing Gideon, a tuba warrior of the battle after she get a volunteer at a toy drive.)
21 Moe and the Big Erection (Appearance of Miss Achmetha, who rides on a buffalo named Zippy, after she got his tumbleweed squishy)
22 Vote Bush-Cheney 04'
23 A Return to the Salad Days (Last appearance of Jimmy and Jerry Gourds, chopping in a salad to the other veggies after they ate Mr Twisty's Twisted Cheese Curls in the morning)
24 The Story of Samson and How He Killed the Christmas Tree!
25 The Story of Joesph and How He Killed one of the slippers! (The True Story of Little Joe)
26 The Yodeling Veterinarian napper of the Alps
27 The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
28 The End of the Paper Towels? More Cloth Towels!
29 In The Forest, Somewhere (Bob the Tomato says that I'll kill Archie)
