V for Vendetta
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“Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsaving the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. [laughs] Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me "V".”
“Yes, Mr. Anderson... I mean, yes, Mr. Frodo... I, I mean, yes, Evey.”
Despite the popularity of the Sesame Street puppet megaflower hour at the time, this criminally overlooked spelling book, including such words as violet, violent and violate, was quickly pulled from the shelves in 1984 due to poor sales. It was a smash success amongst the children aged four to eight, who became Generation X, portraying a world of fascism gone to the extreme, while teaching the correct spellings of various V words, but lacked the versatility to join the wider collection of Sesame Street spelling books, including "Y Is For Yuppie", "C is for Crack", "A is For A piece of shit", and "U for Uncyclopedia". A well-received sequel of the book is entitled W for Wikipedia.
In "The Land of Do As You dont want to do", eVeryone is happy. This is because no one is trapped by the Government's iron rule (Can you say "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious", kids?). However, the land that our hero, V, lives in, is not that land. In fact, that land is not anywhere on earth (Who can say "Locus Amoenus"?). V decides one day that he is not going to take it any longer, and that he is going to do something about it. After making some high-grade explosives (Does anyone know what C-4 is?), he takes off into the night. Everything is coming together when he meets a little girl who is being chased by the policemen (She was trying to stop them from touching her in the naughty places), and V stops to kill the policemen and take care of her.
V veaches ver everything vhat shvee veeds vo know avout svarting veh vevolution (say it with me, everyone! "Viva la revolucion!"), vahnd avout veh VeVenge. Vere viss also ve vlassicsl vection vhere veh vall upon ver vraining vithV vo vurvive ve vruelling vime in ve vingy vrison, as well as vever viving in vo vorture. Vese are important vhings vor vhildren vo vearn, and vere vees an important vessage vent vo Evey about vhis in ve vetter vrom ve voman vamed Valerie. Ve vcene vees anover of vany vhat vive vhildren vightmares, vut vuh pansies need to grow up. Vhis vees vhere also V vaz fizz vrief vesson on vhapes and street-art, veaching vids vow vo vrite vis vymbol.
The action really takes off after V has eliminated several of the people who had worked to turn him into what he is today, people like Lewis Prothero (played by Ernie). Eventually, the battle works its way onto the street of Sesame, and all hell breaks loose. Bert, who has by now set himself up as Arch-Chancellor of The Block, begins to fall in love with the computer that he relies on for games of Solitaire and advice on how to run the city. Big Bird is killed in pursuit of "codename V", and his widow begins to wander the streets, mourning the loss of the abusive husband (Kids, if daddy or mommy ever hurt you, you know the number to call: 911), mostly because it also represents a loss of companionship. Bert throws a parade in his honor, and the Widow Bird is welcomed into his car, where she presently shoots him. However, V soon reveals his true identity as the Count, where he soon digs his teeth into Natalie Portman and screams, Vonderful!
With Natalie Portman at his side, the Count became the most powerful anus plugged puppet of all time, and made his move to America under the disguise of commentary on the Bush administration.
Who the fuck is V?
“Who? Who is but the form following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask.”
Evey, however, doesn't believe this. She comes up with a list of suspects that could be V. According to her V could be:
- Like a crazy person
- Her Father (never trust Your mom, y'know)
- Her mother
- Her brother
- Her (your text here)
- Edmond Dantes
- Chuck Norris
- Your mom
- All of us
- Osama bin laden
- Dead... like Osama bin laden (Hey that makes sense. He's Osama!)
List of Characters
- The chief of police, main good guy, cousin of That guy and is V's elder brother. Keeps freedom amongst the people whilst V attempts to lead them all into conformity. (Played by Charlotte)
- (Played by David Tomlinson) Real name is Viv Richards, he used to be a woman until the government sent him to a concentration camp where their experiments led to gender reassignment. Evil rebel leader created by the Matrix in an attempt to silence the voices of free thinkers and oppress imagination. Dies in an attempt to save the Houses of Parliament from W. Frequently kidnaps children to remove their mouths and plant bugs on them.
- Gordon Brown,
- Ruthless British totalitarian dictator of England. Formerly Scottish, Gordy. B. went on to form his secret police, the Gestapo in 1913. After several disbands and reforms it received many naming conventions, ranging from the NKVD, to the KGB, as well as the OMG, BRB and the most current group, the shady YTMND. Gordon was later killed by his former Dominatrix and Master George Dubya Bush, after being caught hanging with his son Tony Blair inside of Browns' new crib, the Deathticle II.
- Larger than life comic who is voice of London following his murder. Originally a sadistic army member who was the mastermind behind Abu Graib prison's torture scheme, he won the hearts (and minds) of millions with his catchy phrase: "England Prevails"
- Bathroom pervert, Evey's lover.
- Fed up with the absurd 8-ton hair styles her social position required her to wear every day, the Queen of Naboo became fed up, shaved her head, changed her name to "Evey", and became V's apprentice.
- Adam Sutler,
- Typical internet user who likes to fap to his computer.
- Deliah Surridge,
- Typical British head physician of Big Ben.
- Peter Creedy,
- Typical British head of secret police.
- Typical British revolutionary., notably invents the diaper in his attempt to destroy parliament.
- Wife to Stephen Fry, can be seen frequently throughout the film spreading homophobic propaganda.
- Stephen Fry,
- Homophobe in alliance with V. Burns flags in all of his scenes throughout the film.
- Hot young gay guy. Crosses swords with Stephen Fry on the rooftops of New York in the final and most impressive fight scene of the movie.
- Susan Sutler,
- Typical male transvestite British tyrant.
- Crazy Glaswegian guy,
- At the end of the book went round cutting everyone.
- A flat gentleman responsible for Osama Bin Laden's hatrid for the USA
- The inventor of Bond's Gadgets, he has somehow been played by the same character since the Sean Connery Bo- [gunshot] Wrong Page
- Jack Regan,
- A tough copper who goes around nicking everyone.
- George Carter,
- Another tough copper who also goes around nicking everyone.
“It was the best fucking comic book I ever wrote and they had to go and ruin it. Big Ben exploding at the end, Pfffft. Two Matrix Sequals, Pfffft!.”
— John Constantine on V for Vendetta
“Wow, do we really sound like that???.”
“What in God's name was this???? We bloody look like cigarettes to the American public now.”
“V for Vendetta..... more like B for Boring!”
“People should be afraid of their government. Period.”
“What's his problem? I just want to be friends.”
“In Soviet Russia, government is afraid of YOU!!”
“I think there was a very deep message in this movie, but it's so British that nobody gets whats going on throughout most of the film.”
The public has had a mixed response about it. It has been similar to George Orwell's famous children's book Animal Farm, in that they both have developed a cult kiddie following. Most of the children who read this and didn't cry when V killed people grew up to be philosophers.
The book itself is a heartwarming tale of surviving and defeating a dystopian government. A sensitive look at what it is like to live under a totalitarian rule, and how it applies to children today. It is an inspiring look at Terrorism through the eyes of a terrorist; and it is sure to keep the attention of children worldwide.
“I wholeheartedly support the teaching of this to children. The world needs more Vs,redbull's, monster's and it's high time that human children stopped being wusses and started getting involved in local destruction.”
Easily the darkest of the spelling books, many parents were concerned about the kinds of messages that a man in a Guy Fawkes mask might have about the
Codename letter V. "It's mostly that hat and wig" said one parent, "there's something eerie about it."
From the Text:
“Good evening, London. It's nine o'clock and this is the Voice of Fate broadcasting on 275 and 285 in the medium wave... It is the Fifth of the Eleventh Nineteen-Ninety-Seven...”
In this paragraph alone, children have been exposed to times, dates, numbers, technology, and proper punctuation. And that's just page one.
An energy drink has been released with the permission of V and tastes similar to Castrol TTS. Its contents are Vimto, vodka, voronin, vanilla, vegetable oil as well as several E numbers, being E1, E404, E303 and E I Addio (we're going to the cup final). Not to be confused with V8 which is a tomato juice or VK.
|Other words readers will learn:|
As it is easy to see, there are also cultural things, such as references to Latin and German words. This is a book for some advanced readers, but it still maintains a high level of interest for children everywhere. Especially those who like blowing things up.
In 2006, The Wachowski Brothers released a film adaptation of the story. They needed to cut a few things for sake of time, but the film was a fairly accurate adaptation of large portions of the book. The most obvious things missing were "V's Science Corner", and the technology section of the book, embodied by the FATE computer. A few other more minor changes had been made, and children everywhere flocked to see this story. It starred Big Bird as The Evil Dictator, Bert, Ernie, Oscar the Grouch and Grover as the members of his cabinet. V himself was played by Agent Smith, and Queen Amidala did a stunning job with Evey, the girl that V teaches throughout the book.
The film also added a brief introduction to Guy Fawkes, who is an important figure in British history, and also changed the political events leading up to Big Bird's rule so that they mirrored the War on Humor, making the film into a stern warning of things to come.
The release of the film on St. Patrick's Day was strategic, in that the film features several recognizable landmarks in London being blown up by a terrorist. The film also lead to the V Crisis of 2006.
V for Vendetta was adpapted by Naoko Takeuchi into a comic. However, she decided to change V into a girl, get rid of mask, and replace the cloak and hat with a school girl uniform. Except for changing the plot, dialogue, moral, and setting totally, the story was quite faithful to the original source. Sailor V for Vendetta was quite popular in Japan, spawning a spin off called Sailor Moon.
- Judge Dredd
- League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen
- American Justice Coalition
- V Crisis of 2006