VD Day

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VD Day, or Victory in Denmark day is April 9, 1940 and is in recognition of the date when the Nazi Party dominated the blender market in Denmark and other Scandinavian countries with their patented Blitzkrieg Blenders. It is also called Weser Day in some circles (the German ones).

edit Background

While Denmark had remained neutral throughout World War I, the region's general upheaval and instability resulted in the destruction of many blender warehouses. Hence, Denmark and Poland needed a fresh new supplier of blenders to continue consummation of traditional foods such as baby food and fruit smoothies. Naturally, when Hitler discovered plans for blitzkrieg, the Danish were one of the first to place orders exceeding the hundreds of thousands.

edit Allied Involvement

edit Great Britain

“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, but we've got guns, so we're gonna shoot the croc before he sells better blenders!”
~ Winston Churchill on Hitler and his blitzkrieg

Great Britain was furious that a neutral country would dare buy a product from the enemy. Winston Churchill immediately deployed troops to Denmark to combat the Nazi delivery armies.

edit Russia

Having nothing to do but shuffle about in the arctic tundra twenty four hours a day, Russia decided to move troops into Denmark as well to intercept blitzkriegs for themselves. The most famous Russian offensive turned into the biggest loss in the war. After days of sitting in the trenches with nothing to eat but ice and whole fruits, the Russians offered a temporary truce to buy blitzkriegs from the Nazis. Unfortunately, they forgot that in Soviet Russia, blenders buy you*, so a wing of the Red Army was completely enslaved to the Germans, and Russia was forced to withdraw. According to Soviet propaganda at the time, the withdrawal was caused because, at heart, the Danish people are just too boring to be occupied. Of course, no one believed this because it is commonly known that, next to Germany, Denmark has the worlds biggest ale deposits, and are therefore, funny.

It is worth noting that some unrespected researchers claim that the ale deposist were the original reason why the Nazis invaded Denmark.

  • Note: This also applies to the Motherland's people.

edit Aftermath

The occupation of Danish women was an especial treat for the war-weary soldiers, but it could come at a terrible price. As they marched on deeper into Europe, some would become so nostalgic and upset each time they needed to urinate and were reminded of their former bliss, that they simpered and howled and did the VD Dance, the leading new number of 1945. Others touched themselves compulsively until psychogenic lesions appeared that grew and spread into systemic psychosomatic illnesses needing long term intensive treatment at the Tuskegee University Hospital. Despite its enormous military significance, to this day the very letters "VD" strike terror in the hearts of the aesthetically inclined.

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