VCR Manual

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{{Wilde|*Blink.* *Blink.* *Blink*|the VCR Clock}}
 
 
 
A '''VCR Manual''' is a set of [[instructions]], various language, pertaining to your very new JVC recording device, congratulations. When purchasing, a set of instructions is always accompanied to your very new JVC recording device, congratulations. It explains, common easily understandable, how various [[component]]s, operating and [[buttons]] regulate, congratulations.
 
A '''VCR Manual''' is a set of [[instructions]], various language, pertaining to your very new JVC recording device, congratulations. When purchasing, a set of instructions is always accompanied to your very new JVC recording device, congratulations. It explains, common easily understandable, how various [[component]]s, operating and [[buttons]] regulate, congratulations.
   
Line 11: Line 9:
 
# Cover
 
# Cover
 
# Page with product [[drawing]], unfoldable, no language.
 
# Page with product [[drawing]], unfoldable, no language.
# various instucting pages, various language.
+
# various instructing pages, various language.
 
# staples
 
# staples
   
 
Important notes! Read before using your VCR manual:
 
Important notes! Read before using your VCR manual:
* Do not expose the manual to [[temperature]]s greater than or equal to 451°F (232.7°C)
+
* Do not expose the manual to [[temperature]]s greater than or equal to [[Fahrenheit 451|451°F]] (232.7°C)
* Do not open your VCR manual before carefully revealing socket A and B with ground wiring become inflationary, as this may cause a fatal [[explosion]].
+
* Do not open your VCR manual before carefully revealing socket A and B with ground wiring become instationary, as this may cause a fatal [[explosion]].
   
Having taken the preceding three precautions, it is now safe to install your VCR manual. For this purpose, find a suitable [[space]], lay down the booklet and opening gently.
+
Having taken the preceding three precautions, it is now safe to install your VCR manual. For doing, find a suitable [[space]], lay down the booklet and opening gently.
  +
  +
[[Image:Veeceearr.gif|thumb|250px|left|To be enjoying your new VCR manual, press the button of operation.]]
   
 
==First Time using==
 
==First Time using==
   
[[Image:Veeceearr.gif|thumb|left|To be enjoying your new VCR, press the button of operation.]]
+
Once opening satisfactory, you can start using your VCR manual. Read each [[paragraph]] carefully and execute instructions.
 
Once opening satisfactory, you can start using your VCR manual. Read each [[paragraph]] carefully and excute instructions.
 
   
 
'''NB: Certain paragraphs and sentences will start in perfectly intelligible [[English]], but grammar trailing to the end of instruction set, where inserted component G1.2 to a blue display. This is normal. Attempting to understand what these sentences mean or are intended to mean can cause braincancer and is therefore not suggested.'''
 
'''NB: Certain paragraphs and sentences will start in perfectly intelligible [[English]], but grammar trailing to the end of instruction set, where inserted component G1.2 to a blue display. This is normal. Attempting to understand what these sentences mean or are intended to mean can cause braincancer and is therefore not suggested.'''
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! Problem Description !! Proposed Solution
 
! Problem Description !! Proposed Solution
 
|-
 
|-
! The VCR Manual won't open
+
! The VCR Manual won't open.
 
|
 
|
 
* Often there is a [[plastic]] wrapping around the VCR manual. Remove this with a pair of scissors.
 
* Often there is a [[plastic]] wrapping around the VCR manual. Remove this with a pair of scissors.
 
* If there is no plastic around the VCR Manual, the pages may be sticking together, apply more force.
 
* If there is no plastic around the VCR Manual, the pages may be sticking together, apply more force.
* If this does not solve the problem, contact your supplier.
+
* If this does not solve the problem, contact your [[Drug dealer|supplier]].
 
|-
 
|-
 
!The instructions are written upside down.
 
!The instructions are written upside down.
Line 49: Line 47:
 
* You are analphabetic. Learn to read.
 
* You are analphabetic. Learn to read.
 
* If this does not solve the problem, contact your supplier.
 
* If this does not solve the problem, contact your supplier.
  +
|-
  +
!The instructions are written black on a black surface, <b style="color:black;background-color:black">congratulations</b>.
  +
|
  +
* You need an external light source which is not included. Try applying a lamp, a sun or open fire. Make sure not to expose the manual to high temperatures.
  +
* If this does not solve the problem, contact your [[optician]].
  +
|-
  +
!The VCR Manual flies around the room randomly.
  +
|
  +
* This is a usually a product fault, stemming from an incompatibility with your local metagravitational format. You may need a purchase VCR Manual High Mass Gravity Driven Holding Device, which you should place on top of the VCR manual.
  +
* If this does not solve the problem, contact your local department of metaphysics for information about your local metagravitational format, and ask for an appropriate VCR Manual gravity transformer.
 
|}
 
|}
   
 
== Language Settings ==
 
== Language Settings ==
  +
[[Image:fig_A2.jpg|thumb|fig a2.]]
  +
  +
Often the VCR manual will not come in a language spoken within 5000 miles of where you live. For example, if you live in The [[United States of America]], you may see something like this:
  +
:これは英語ではなく日本語で書かれています。日本語を勉強して下さい。
  +
  +
But in [[Australia]], you may see something like this:
  +
:Это будет песня для самого красивейшего города на мире, поздравление. Москва!<!-- русским: это предложение было специально сделано корявым -->
   
Often the VCR manual will not come in a language spoken within 5000 miles of where you live. For example, if you live in the US, you may see something like this:
+
The same goes with [[Japan]]:
:どうもありがとうございます。ごちそうさまでした。
+
:Si este manual no funciona correctamente, no podemos ayudarlo. Si usted ha comprado esta videograbadora, recomendamos que la devuelva ahora. Hemos cerrado para evitar que personas como usted hagan reclamos o pidan ayuda, felicitaciones.
   
But in Australia, you may see something like this:
+
==See also, congratulations==
:Это песня о самом красивом городе в мире. Москва!
 
   
The same goes with East Asia
+
[[congratulations]]
:Si esta máquina ha dolido a usted, no lo podemos ayudar. Nos cerrábamos para prevenir hombres como usted de pedirnos ayuda.
 
   
{{ArticleFH}}
+
{{FA|date=5 February 2006|revision=508168}}
  +
[[Category:Technology]][[Category:Literature]][[Category:Instructions]]
   
[[Category:Technology]][[Category:Literature]]
+
[[ja:UnBooks:ビデオレコーダー取り扱い説明書]]
  +
[[pt:Manual do Videocassete]]

Latest revision as of 07:54, May 25, 2011

A VCR Manual is a set of instructions, various language, pertaining to your very new JVC recording device, congratulations. When purchasing, a set of instructions is always accompanied to your very new JVC recording device, congratulations. It explains, common easily understandable, how various components, operating and buttons regulate, congratulations.

edit Before Using your VCR Manual, important!

Vcr
fig a.

The VCR manual is a small black-and-white instruction booklet (fig a.) containing the following parts:

  1. Cover
  2. Page with product drawing, unfoldable, no language.
  3. various instructing pages, various language.
  4. staples

Important notes! Read before using your VCR manual:

  • Do not expose the manual to temperatures greater than or equal to 451°F (232.7°C)
  • Do not open your VCR manual before carefully revealing socket A and B with ground wiring become instationary, as this may cause a fatal explosion.

Having taken the preceding three precautions, it is now safe to install your VCR manual. For doing, find a suitable space, lay down the booklet and opening gently.

Veeceearr
To be enjoying your new VCR manual, press the button of operation.

edit First Time using

Once opening satisfactory, you can start using your VCR manual. Read each paragraph carefully and execute instructions.

NB: Certain paragraphs and sentences will start in perfectly intelligible English, but grammar trailing to the end of instruction set, where inserted component G1.2 to a blue display. This is normal. Attempting to understand what these sentences mean or are intended to mean can cause braincancer and is therefore not suggested.


edit Problems with your VCR Manual

Problem Description Proposed Solution
The VCR Manual won't open.
  • Often there is a plastic wrapping around the VCR manual. Remove this with a pair of scissors.
  • If there is no plastic around the VCR Manual, the pages may be sticking together, apply more force.
  • If this does not solve the problem, contact your supplier.
The instructions are written upside down.
  • Rotate the booklet 180 degrees.
  • If this does not solve the problem, contact your supplier.
The instructions for my language are in an unintelligible script.
  • You are analphabetic. Learn to read.
  • If this does not solve the problem, contact your supplier.
The instructions are written black on a black surface, congratulations.
  • You need an external light source which is not included. Try applying a lamp, a sun or open fire. Make sure not to expose the manual to high temperatures.
  • If this does not solve the problem, contact your optician.
The VCR Manual flies around the room randomly.
  • This is a usually a product fault, stemming from an incompatibility with your local metagravitational format. You may need a purchase VCR Manual High Mass Gravity Driven Holding Device, which you should place on top of the VCR manual.
  • If this does not solve the problem, contact your local department of metaphysics for information about your local metagravitational format, and ask for an appropriate VCR Manual gravity transformer.

edit Language Settings

Fig A2
fig a2.

Often the VCR manual will not come in a language spoken within 5000 miles of where you live. For example, if you live in The United States of America, you may see something like this:

これは英語ではなく日本語で書かれています。日本語を勉強して下さい。

But in Australia, you may see something like this:

Это будет песня для самого красивейшего города на мире, поздравление. Москва!

The same goes with Japan:

Si este manual no funciona correctamente, no podemos ayudarlo. Si usted ha comprado esta videograbadora, recomendamos que la devuelva ahora. Hemos cerrado para evitar que personas como usted hagan reclamos o pidan ayuda, felicitaciones.

edit See also, congratulations

congratulations

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