Uwe Bowls

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Revision as of 09:40, October 31, 2012

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Worms?
Uwebowl
The voices in your head will not kill themselves.
“In Soviet Russia, cereal eats you.”
~ Russian Reversal on Uwe Bowls
“I smell a metaphor or something.”
~ That Guy on Uwe Bowls
“When it comes to sticking bad things in my mouth, I am the master.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Uwe Bowls

Have a Disaster in Your Bowl

Uwe Bowls are a brand of high fiber (and low content) cereal that has replaced the popular You Bowls of cereal after a re-branding by the new German CEO.

A Breakfast to Die For

Now with Uwe Bowls you can start your morning right with a bowl full of fail(hemorrhaging optional). Because not everyone has the privilege of choking down an entire bowl of industrial waste. Poor kids in Africa wouldn’t mind the blindness caused by our cereal (unproven by those assholes at the FDA) for a chance to suck down something other than dirt and monkeys. So why not take a bite?!! (before it bites you.)

One Hamster Short of a Spinning Wheel

Uwe Bowls come in many artificial flavors resembling strawberry, grape...or many, many unfortunate others; but none of them are particularly tasty or popular. Many fans of the more traditional brand of You Cereal feel the new flavors are just a ripoff of the old. Despite the fact that nobody likes Uwe Bowls, our company insists on producing more cereal, every new flavor more shitty than the last. Some of these new mediocre and uninspiring flavors can be seen below. Now in a store (or landfill) near you!!

Boyeatingcereal2
This kid won't be smiling in an hour.

Current Flavors

  • Strawberry
  • Strawberry?!
  • Angry Strawberry
  • I Can't Believe It's Not Strawberry
  • Grape Or Something Similar
  • Sky
  • Surprise!!!
  • Xylophone
  • Yellow
  • Non-toxic Yellow
  • Animal
  • Than Time You Taken a Trip to Grandmas House and Had a Journey of Self-discovery by Accident
  • Potato and a Half
  • Soylent Orange

Future Flavors

Vote for New Yummy Flavors!!
 
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The poll was created at 02:29 on October 31, 2012, and so far 15 people voted.


See also

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