User talk:Zim ulator/archive6

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For those of you who have a perverse inclination to find out what kind of drivel zim has on his older talk pages, check these out:

user:zim ulator/Archive0

user:zim ulator/archive1

user:zim ulator/archive2

user:zim ulator/archive3

user:zim ulator/archive4

user talk:zim ulator/Archive5

New stuff under here please.

I'm back

After an hiatus, I'm back online. I hate having no money to fix my computers. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 02:04, 28 February 2009 (UTC)

Another point: we, with your approval, kick the onion's ass.

Happy Holidays!

Wiccan20Countess20-20Yule20Reef20-2 Happy Pagan Holiday from Tayor. Actually, Yule was the 21st. But, uh, the Christian Christmas is a capitalistic farce, so, uh, hah. Long live the original!
And I am SO not a heathen
D The HRH MuCal. Tayor Lz4MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 15:15, 23 December 2008 (UTC)

Happy Hanukkah

User's Guide

Zim. Thx. User's guide not friendly enough to diagnose remedies for formatting challenges. No wonder so few post articles to UnNews. Will keep trying & learning. Plz make suggestions as to formatting errors. Greatly appreciated. LOVE the site. Smuggler. P.S. Ugh. Just checked it. I GOTTA quit writing articles when I've worked the graveyard shift! Lord the errors!

"I have a fucking headache"

The word "hilarious" should be used sparingly. With that in mind, I found that one article hilarious. Of course, I'm a moron to the highest degree. -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 17:49, Feb. 7, 2008

Nice ta meetcha

Thanks for the heads up about signing articles. Curiously, how do I prove to a friend that I wrote it (originally)? Sorry to be such an egoist, that's just how I masturbate... Mentally... --WesMan20 19:42, 25 February 2008 (UTC)WesMan20

UnNews:Next Saw Film To Include a Goatse-Trap

Hello. You should put this in the front page, it's my best Unnews ever. User:Kakun/sig 16:59, 3 March 2008 (UTC)


I see that my article is on the right-hand side front page of UnNews. I'm still a n00b, so does this mean it is Quasi-Featured?--WesMan20 03:59, 16 March 2008 (UTC)WesMan20

Hey Zimmy

Good to see you around. When are you coming back to the audio business? It's awfully quite without you. ~Jewriken.GIF 20:01, 6 April 2008 (UTC)

Headline text



Join The CMC! Make Your Inner Cow Happy!

Moo, Zim ulator!

What is it about cows that gets us all hot and bothered? Where do cows come from? What are cows?

These are the questions that drive the Cow Moo Cult and its brethren, who are very, VERY interested in cows and cow by-products.

The CMC is devoted not only to cows, but to helping Uncyclopedia through general acts of goodness and through motivating people with cow-treats and the like.

So, Zim ulator, why not join the CMC? It's free (unless you count virginity as money) and it's fun (and it's full of clichés)! You'll get a pretty template for your userpage and a nice title for your signature! What could be better? Sign Up Now!
Double moos from your cowy friend,
YTTE(and as the person whoring, Tayor!)

Why did I choose you to whore to? Because there is no getting around how much we need you, how much the cows need you. Please, won't you help quell our pining? The HRH MuCal. Tayor Lz4MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 17:13, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Why of course it's because I miss you! :P Actually, I really haven't talked to you in a long time, and you're one of the first people I fact it's most likely! Pig is the wrong farm animal! But yes, a little :P And you're welcome! soooo...what's going on? The HRH MuCal. Tayor Lz4MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 15:54, 29 May 2008 (UTC)


Welcome Zim ulator to the Glorious Cow Moo Cult!

You're in, you clearly fit these requirements and the Cows, obviously, smile upon you. You are currently a "Mud Grunt" by rank. Now the good bit: you can officially put this template wherever you want on your userpage or talk page and can add "Mgr." to the beginning of your signature, if you wish.

Promoting the CMC is always good, considering at the moment we're barely even tiny on Uncyclopedia. If you can refer users to sign up, consider yourself promoted. In time you'll move up the ranks anyway. Occasionally you'll have to put a little bit of work in here and there, but only a little bit... For the moment all you really need to do is watchlist this page. Your main task, however, is CONVERTING THE COWLESS. Have a quick read of this before you start and conversion processes. If you help swell the CMC ranks, it's likely you'll get a promotion!

I'm happy to answer any questions here. Oh and it's advised you read these (loose) rules. You are now one of the few with the Cows on your side.

Let the moo be with you!
Moo moo moo mo mooo moo!

Welcome aboard! - [09:20 29 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

UnNews article. Plz contriboot.

UnNews:Direct China-Taiwan fights begin needs sound. A little. I don't remember/know where the request page is, so mind telling me that too? --Sir General Minister G5 FIYC UPotM [Y] #21 F@H KUN 10:04, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

I just have to ask.

Did you really name your dog "Evelyn the Modified Dog"? If so, you rock even more than you did before, and that's saying something. Cheers. -RAHB 00:35, 17 July 2008 (UTC)

Yes... that's how reverend zim_ulator rolls. It's one of my favorite Zappa songs. Evie likes when I sing it to her, but ignores FZ when he's on the stereo. She also likes another song I made up called "(I have a) Cookie for the puppy, fuck the kitties!". My new PC fixin's are on their way, and I'm hoping to have a decent studio again. As it it, I can't even listen to music any more!
Also, thanks for all of your help around UnNews. I feel a bit like an evil godparent to UnNews, and I'm happy to see it lives through the herculean efforts of other gits like me... to wit, yourself. I delare you to rock awesomely. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 13:13, 31 July 2008 (UTC)
You sir, have excellent taste, as well as excellent awesome. As for UnNews, think nothing of it, I'm glad to help out anywhere I can, UnNews being a particularly worthy endeavor. I think I'll be starting to do some audios for it again myself, keep the spirit alive and all that. Best of luck to you on your computer fixing and your studio stuffs. We'll all be waiting with open arms, anticipating the return of Zim. -RAHB 13:32, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

Master Zim

I asked RAHB to help around with Unnews since you're not on every day, and as much as I love the Unnews palace I don't seem to get in there too much lately. I hope you don't mind! Let me know if you have any reservations or just want pie. I always have a pie available. Cheers! ~Jewriken.GIF 21:29, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

It's just occured to me: you are possibly among the top ten cool Jews I know. Thanks for all of your help with UnNews, and for keeping me in your wetware L2 cache memory. I've been absent mostly due to PC problems, and also some home issues getting in the way of my proper life ie, doing UnNews stuff. You rock significantly; just thought you should know. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 13:40, 31 July 2008 (UTC)
Thanks :) You shall always be the dirt under my rollers! ~Jewriken.GIF 09:15, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

Thank you

I'm not being sarcastic here, but thank you for not deleting my article. I'm rather new to this venture, so it'll take some time to learn the ropes. But thanks for being nice. honestly. N734LQ 16:49, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

You're welcome, and I have no doubt as to your sincerity. However, since I know what I know is only in my head, it does make me wonder... am I an insane butterfly, or am I Satan dreaming I am in ansane butterfly? Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 16:57, 31 July 2008 (UTC)


I just noticed my UnNews story about George Romero featured on the UnNews page. Thanks (I think you're the guy to thank). I was actually certain that it would be deleted. --WesMan20 BlackMan Icons-flag-us (talk) 18:49, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

White House Article

Hello sir. My White House article didn't show up on the front page, but the formatting stuff looks correct? Am I missing something?--WesMan20 BlackMan Icons-flag-us (talk) 18:16, 28 August 2008 (UTC)

Nevermind, there it is... Sorry...--WesMan20 BlackMan Icons-flag-us (talk) 18:36, 28 August 2008 (UTC)

Seasons Greeting

Keep the "X" in

Santa checks his list to see who's been naughty and who's been nice.

And naughty always makes out better at X-mas
Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 18:27, 21 December 2008 (UTC)


Festivus-card Happy Festivus, from The Led Balloon and Jerry Stiller. Put up your Festivus Pole, air your grievances, and prepare for the feats of strength, for festivus cannot continue until I am pinned! Oh, and merry Christmas if you're into that sort of thing.
It's a Festivus miracle!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:17, Dec 21

Welcome back, Zim

Never leave us again. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 03:53, 28 February 2009 (UTC)

ZIMULATOR! YOU BLOODY BASTARD! I THOUGHT THEY KILLED YOU! Also, I'm very happy to see you! ~Jewriken.GIF 10:03, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
Back from Mexico I see. Glad to know the Gestapo hasn't caught and killed you yet. Good to have you back (again), you crazy bastard. -RAHB 03:57, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
Hey guys, Zim is here. Tinymooose.gif » Sir SysRq Grand Commanding Officer Somethingorother ... holla atcha boy» 17:29, 2 March 2009 (UTC)


...for the alterations on my Tennessee drug dealers UnNews article, and may I also say how good it is to see you back on Uncyc? :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 11:17, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

Re. your reply - Kind words, thankyou. All I can say on the subject of New England and its inhabitants is that both it and they have always seemed a little more civilised, somehow, than the rest of the USA. Is it true that you call sidewalks pavements? If so, I can only assume that's why. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 09:41, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

UnNews mainpage

You may already be onto it, but the 14yo divorcee story is still showing up under the BNP one - neither purging nor refreshing seems to help from this end. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 15:26, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

No - the first paragraph of the divorcee story is appearing under the BNP headline. Both the headline and the full story link go to the BNP one though, and the correct image is there. Maybe it's just a problem for me - I've been having some odd Firefox problems the last couple of days. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 16:07, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
Since a picture paints a thousand words, maybe it'll be easier if I explain it this way: what I was seeing was this -

However, it's not like that anymore and seems to be working fine, so whether you sorted it or if it was my browser I don't know. But all is well and good! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 10:22, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Hey Zim

I just archived the UnNews mainpage discussion page (2007 to Feb 27 2009), which I hope is ok for me to do in my new capacity as official poopsmith. If not, let me know and I'll leave it alone in future. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 10:53, 8 March 2009 (UTC)


OK, I know you're not Jewish, but any excuse for a piss-up is worthy. :-)

  1. What's a poopsmith? - unpaid slave-labourer who cleans up shit from the wiki user charged with certain maintenance tasks such as archiving QVFD and other stuff, ie; user:Sycamore and myself.
  2. What's a piss up? - a drinking session.
  3. Thanks for the Purim thingy. - no probs. Get to a synagogue today and you'll see dancing, drunken rabbis - most amusing sight.
  4. I love the Mad Mike "Moishe" Tyson...Maybe. What would you like it to look like?

Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 11:48, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

PS - this might be good inspiration for an UnNews. I'm thinking something about zombies flocking to the UK in order to take advantage of our welfare system. I'm not going to be about much today, so I thought maybe you'd like to do something with it. If you don't, I'll probably do something tomorrow, using zombies as a metaphor (I think - I can never wuite remember the definition of a metaphor) for Polish people, twisting the whole thing into another opportunity to ridicule the BNP, the Conservatives and the Daily Mail. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 11:51, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
As for goat blower pic, dare I say it? Use your imagination. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 12:40, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

For saying nice things about me


Have some of my Jaffa Cakes:)

--Sycamore (Talk) 18:19, 19 March 2009 (UTC)


I wrote those 2 UnNews articles that you blessed today with ICU and unfunny tags, "son kills father" and "spiderman". Look, those are my first unnews reports.. And, i dont think they are THAT bad, mordillo liked them for instance (maybe not.. Whatever). Would you mind telling me what went terribly wrong? Also, some advice would be appreciated. Thanks SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Flag of Egypt AMUSE ME 22:54, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

The Welcome to UnNews thingy below may help. Other stuff: grammar and spelling aren't so great, the humour is sort of random. To me, the topicisn't very funny, nor the content; however, you can put them on Pee Review to try and solicit more opinions and help. I am not a dictator, and I realize that there are some things I don't find funny that a majority does find funny. If this was not helpful, or if there is anything I can help with further, let me know. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 17:54, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

user:zim ulator/welcome to UnNews


...I've been learning Classical Greek. That's how you say hello in the language of Homer and Sophocles. Honest. Also, I notice that as of yet there is no UnNews archive for March - is this created at the end of the month by tradition or can it be done at any time? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 16:10, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

So Greek you know, but Hebrew you don't? Tfu! Bad Jew! ~Jewriken.GIF 16:14, 26 March 2009 (UTC)
There's a difference? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 18:55, 26 March 2009 (UTC)
Wow, what a flashback. My senior year high school greek class... Attic greek, of course, and being last class of the day, I was likely to be stoned in any given class. Poor Mr. Donaher: I think he liked me enough, but he felt pretty strongly about his students being high. Oh, and about the monthly archive page: those get done by whomever feels like it, when they get around to it. Pretty much standard UnNews practice. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 19:06, 26 March 2009 (UTC)
I was lucky in that respect. My classics lecturer - who was 80 and looked like the result of an unholy coupling twixt Albert Einstein and Salvador Dali - liked a smoke even more than I did. I remember one occasion when I fell asleep in one of his lectures, woke up, looked around hoping he hadn't noticed and discovered he was asleep too. Top chap. I might do that archive tomorrow morning in that case. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 19:15, 26 March 2009 (UTC)
Cool! I did 3 months worth when I got back from exile (no PC), so if you get to it before I do, I won't be terribly upset. You are an UnNews phenom, dude! Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 19:29, 26 March 2009 (UTC)
You know how you get those days where everything in the news inspires you? Inspires you to take the piss, in fact? Well, I've had one of them today. I haven't half got a headache now - possibly due to having been online for 12.5 hours. There's only one cure for that, I, where's my rolling papers? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 19:34, 26 March 2009 (UTC)
We're thinking of you as we smoke. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 19:53, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

Reiki article on VFH

Cheers, matey. That'd be a nice little coup right after sharing the Foolitzer with NotAGoodUsername for March. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 13:28, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

mmmmmmmm, power! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 14:47, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

March Foolitzer Prize

Nice! thanks for that, and you owe me large! Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 14:49, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

Pee review

Basically, I just meant that if an article is quite short - like that one is - any more than one image tends to muck up the text lay-out a bit. With that in view, I'd have given a higher score for pictures because the one it has fits well etc., but didn't want to appear like some fawning fanboy. As for sceptre, it was sufficient to make me overlook meter - not least of all because a good 50% of Brits don't know it should be metre either :-). Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 17:26, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

Incidentally, I'd quite like to fiddle about with the UnNews weather station some time. I'm probably missing something very obvious, but how might one go about doing that? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 08:45, 4 April 2009 (UTC)
RE the weather station, I haven't looked at it in a long time. I think I made a few minor changes once. If you feel competent to fool with it, perhaps you could make some kind of sand box program for experimentation? let me know your thoughts, sane or not. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 14:54, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

Darwin's Egg

Thanks for another VFH nom - let's hope it does better than the reiki once, which is in danger of dropping off the bottom of the league table if nobody takes an interest in it soon. I love writing UnNews for things that happen here in Cambridge, makes me feel like a proper newspaper correspondent! :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:20, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

My pleasure, it was worthy of a nom. I guess I'd nom more of your articles if I weren't so lazy, but this one particularly grabbed me. cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 12:22, 17 April 2009 (UTC)
Watch you don't trip over my ego there, it's just increased in size several times. Incidentally, do you think the Darwin's Egg or Yoda Cop image works better on the mainpage? Personally I think the Yoda one would be more amusing for more people, but I prefer the Darwin nest. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:26, 17 April 2009 (UTC)
Oh, I think Darwin wins, hands down, but for a pic alone, the decision is more difficult. Enjoy your inflated ego while it lasts, my dad always says. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 12:34, 17 April 2009 (UTC)
I'll leave it how it is then. I kind of like the almost Monty Python-esque look of it anyway. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 12:56, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

Harry Reid

I don't want to rudely butt in here, but it turns out Wikipedia has heard of him. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:23, 24 April 2009 (UTC)

No, I meant wipikedia hasn't heard of the random user who wrote the article. If he/she had been logged in and left a sig, I'd have ICU'd the article and notified the writer. As a lazy admin, I deleted it, thinking either the writer would surface, or it was a poorly written piece by an anonymous user, not worth saving. Is it yours? And if so, do you want it undeleted? Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 22:33, 24 April 2009 (UTC)
It's not mine, but I remember reading it and though it was slightly random (Why would Jimbo Wales have anything to do with this?) I didn't think it was that bad either. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:39, 24 April 2009 (UTC)
Oh, it was just awful! No links, no pics, awful grammar, didn't make sense... Jimbo Whales? Dreadful! Dicks like me delete crap like that. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 23:11, 24 April 2009 (UTC)
Okay, no problem then. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:17, 24 April 2009 (UTC)

Cheers me dear!

Hey Zim ulator. I just wanted to say thanks for tidying up my UnNews article yesterday.

Another asshole hates me

I automatically hate you... Irreal 15:14, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

I don't care. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 16:08, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the thumbs up on Specter

Its nice to know that I am still your Girl Friday... Hugs, Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 19:12, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

Yet another useless award

Mechthing Rabbi Techno awards you this lovely Mechanical Thing
because you voted for something I wrote to be featured.

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