User talk:Zariak

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edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia

Spike the Dog (06b)

Articles are better if they contain pictures. "Thumbnails" like this one contain captions, and funny captions are the best.

Hello, Zariak, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages that anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is devoted to comedy. It pretends it is Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.

What you can do

You can create an article of your own. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Zariak/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help out without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, there are ways to help out without writing at all, such as helping us organize stuff, monitoring the activity log for vandals, or even greeting other new users like this.

What you need

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Decide to be polite, be positive and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.

What to read

Here are some pages that might help you:

For personal help
  • All the administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
  • I will be watching this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
  • If you've written an article, we have a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read it and tell you how to improve it.
How to post to talk pages

Please follow these general rules:

  • Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice your addition.
  • Start your paragraphs with one or more : characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
  • At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your user name and the current date and time.
  • Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by striking them through like this.

I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff! Spıke Ѧ 21:43 11-Feb-13

edit Riemann Hypothesis

Hello and welcome! Your edit today to this article is one of the slowest and most tedious build-ups to a simple anal sex pun I have ever read. I've removed this and done a complete copy-edit on the article, borrowing the photo from Bernhard Riemann. Sorry about that. Spıke Ѧ 23:15 11-Feb-13

edit Laura Ingraham Crackers

And, sir or madam: This new article is not humor. The technical term is a "hatchet job." Improve it now. Spıke Ѧ 23:39 7-Apr-13

edit Question Authority

I think you have a great starting point for this article, but the sections could be longer. So far, so good! Keep working on this, please. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 02:37, April 19, 2013 (UTC)

I pounced on this. Forgive the total rewrite; it now looks more official, and more English. And has Hillary Clinton with a mustache. (This stuff happens on a wiki.) The concept is still all yours. May we have another? Spıke Ѧ 12:46 19-Apr-13

Thanks for the edits guys!! Love the new creative ideas!! --Zariak (talk) 16:10, April 21, 2013 (UTC)

Congratulations on your first main-page feature! Spıke Ѧ 11:04 17-May-13
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