User talk:Zana Dark

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia! This ain't your mom's Wikipedia... Please keep all hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times... ~ Zana Dark     home   talk   email   awards   images   templates   sandbox   queue   adoption

Contents 1 Newb Concept 2 Semi-rape, because you kept the last message... 3 Thanks 4 Frida Kahlo 5 About the template... 6 Some legal shit 7 Thanks a lot! 8 Uncyclopedia Legal Department 9 Subpagesters 10 Yo that one template 11 The what and the what? 12 Newb Antagonist 12.1 Case forwarded to the judge and jury 13 Graphic 14 Dicks everywhere 15 Heads and Tails 16 Newb Proposal 17 EGAoEitDoM 18 Thanks, for the memories 19 Newb Case? 20 I did this 21 Explain, please 22 Madman Madame... 23 Congratulations on your artistic achievement 24 Newb Vote of Confidence

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[edit] Newb Concept

I don't understand. Hey im kinda overwriting this noobs artcile because im obiously more important and would like to ask you how do i create a new article and how do i advance in the rankings, ADOGG222 only guy more awesome than you sophia and chuck norriss combined

Hey Zana! I noticed you haven't touched this since June 30th and I hope you're not sick or off saving Koala bears from extinction or something, but my question/concept is Sooo important that I'll leave a comment for future response (from you or anyone else really). How do I start my own cult? (I figure you might have some insight 'cause all of your followers absolutely love you!)  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   03:24, November 18, 2009 (UTC) (<-- Newb Project) (Newb Antagonist -->)

Well, I have been lurking around here and there... making wierd noises and stuff. I had often thought of creating my own cult, but BAH! I'm lazy. This was my lame attempt once upon a time (I never fully developed my concept) and it has just kind of been a place for me to keep track of my noobs.

First you need to set up a main page that would serve as the cult's homepage. Create the pages in your userspace, like User:Happytimes/Join My Cult. Maybe make some cool templates, come up with a catchy name and/or theme. After you polish up your cult's manifesto or gameplan, use it to recruit users. You can link to it in the forums and on talk pages to spread the word. Make sure you include a place for people to sign up or a member roster. And don't for get to make it funny!

Hope this helps :)  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 06:34, 18 November 2009

P.S.: Another good cult to check out is Der Unwehr.

As always, awesome advice from the (noob) trainer master. I may have started something with my templates pages, but it's still an undeveloped concept. I'll let you know if when it hits puberty. I'll have to figure out what the forums are one of these days. I kinda like doing things before I read the rules. Again, infinity-plus-one thank yous!  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   08:01, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Semi-rape, because you kept the last message...

Because, you know, rape is funny and stuff. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! 09:49, November 18, 2009 (UTC)

Indeed it is. Especially the prison variety.  :D  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 03:19, 24 November 2009

They have prison rape variety shows?!? I'm never gonna get cable now...!  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   10:47, November 29, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks

for voting for me. I must say, you're audios are the balls, and up to half the dick. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 18:48, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Frida Kahlo

I have added some more references today and a few changes - nothing drastic. Do you think it is ready for a VFH run ? One thing I was going to suggest was to drop the Uncyclopedia references and perhaps say 'working on comedy websites' or something less specific. --RomArtus Imperator(talk) 13:04, December 2, 2009 (UTC)

Looks good. Thanks for all the help.  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 07:07, 5 December 2009

[edit] About the template...

Now that the member count is on the grow, would it be easiest to change the default template a bit? As it won't be a maintenance template, it's easier if we won't have to explain to dozens of people it is not one. I know this might not be a problem but just in case. Also, I haven't come up with a really convincing header for the dept yet, let's see if I will. -- The  Rulebook 07:10, December 5, 2009 (UTC)

Specifically, "removed from site" should be changed to something like "set free of all responsibility" - or maybe change the form a bit to concern the author of the article? It's basically good now but I somehow would like it to point to actual people as perjurors of things, rather than to the article. What if it was proclaimed having "suffered irreparable damage in the hands of the author(s), who hereby will be called to court to answer for their misdeed"? -- The  Rulebook 07:18, December 5, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Some legal shit

Which way to go now? If you made more templates like "SUMMONS" etc. as I suggest on the talk page of the dept., I could swap those for the templates now on the articles I have put them on. Then you could just leave the original template as it is now, except change the text so that it doesn't resemble a maintenance template, for instance to read something like dis dat wuz here.

-- The  Rulebook 16:14, December 6, 2009 (UTC)

I'm in chat right now if you want Q&A for a concise version of all the shit I've been writing all over the place. -- The  Rulebook 18:35, December 6, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks a lot!

You voted to make H1N1 a front-page story! Exposing millions to fear and spreading paranoia! And now the story has mutated! Misinformation everywhere! ...thanks a lot!!!

Sir Roger 00:46, December 7, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Uncyclopedia Legal Department

I don't see any reason why you shouldn't get one of these. And as serjeant-at-law is from serviens ad legem, the law recognizes the right of a Queen's serjeant to writ, the right of latae sententiae, to recognize in situ elevatium to venire facias de novo or appoint the minister of an encyclopedic ministry of law, by the will of Sophia.     Father Xmas WHY??? (confessions)  04:42, December 7, 2009 (UTC)

What he said.  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   06:24, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Subpagesters

Hi Zana! Using those subpage templates - do I just create a subpage like I normally would, (with the /subpagetitle) and then add the template there and so forth, or is there some mechanism inherent to the templates? I guess the former. -- The  Rulebook 06:56, December 7, 2009 (UTC)

OK, that one got cleared. Thanks anyway! -- The  Rulebook 07:05, December 7, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Yo that one template

Hi, the one used in mainspace (the one above there ^ ): I would like it better if it had a similar - but maybe thinner - set of outlines as the one I've put on the subpages now. Would it be OK to change it? The yellow somehow clashes with my idea of a legal document. It may also be a matter of taste only - so if you like it like it is now, I won't argue. Otherwise the templates now are really neat.

Another thing: might be an interesting idea to set up a subpage for complaints and demands - for instance, someone might have a demand/suggestion for a new law, or complaint against another user - that way we would get inspiration for actual working content. Although I thought of this more as an idea where the articles get some extra content from the legal department, I see no reason why some corny user-against-user problems might not be dealt with by the Dept. I rest my case. -- The  Rulebook 07:13, December 8, 2009 (UTC)

What if we set up a legal affidavit template with some pre-rendered text? Tell me what you think of this and let's cook the text up together if you like it. There might be two: suggestion and complaint. Then we could start telling people that if they have reason to complain (careful not to do it with too stiff users though) they can turn to the Dept. for legal assistance. Then we could submit the case to someone who's willing to script the court case based on it. Might be more fun to others than trying to come up with laws and stuff. We would thereby set up some mock drama, it might even be healthy. Or sick. -- The  Rulebook 07:16, December 8, 2009 (UTC)

All improvements to any texts and ideas are welcome - I just spit them out the way they occur to me. -- The  Rulebook 09:31, December 8, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] The what and the what?

You told me yesterday in chat the welcome template and some other, or something, need more legal-looking texts for them. It later occurred to me you would like me to write them. I will, if that's what you meant. Just let me know. Oh yes and which ones were they? -- The  Rulebook 06:59, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Newb Antagonist

Hey Zana, Multiliteralist is stay being mean to me here, disgusted here, because of here. It's Unlegal! Please to be make hims stops!  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   08:18, December 10, 2009 (UTC) (<-- Newb Concept)(Newb Proposal -->)

Well, as Head of Department I'll have to assume a bipartisan stance in order to preside over the hearings. Let me know after the completion of the full affidavits from both sides involved and then we will commence with the court proceedings as per Unlegal Code 41: Chapter 22, Statute 3.6.  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 02:49, 11 December 2009

Public Bestiality Unbecoming of a Minor?!?!?!?!?

Oh wait, I was looking at 3.5, sorry. I guess we'll just have to wait for our day in court.  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   05:10, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

OK, I restored the page from my userspace to here. I have no further affidavits to file - UNLESS HAPPYTIMES ANSWERS AGAIN. It is unthinkable he should have the final word in the affidavit drama. -- The  Rulebook 09:28, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

I'm a workin' on it. If you look at the edit for the page you can see some notes... but don't respond to them until they're posted and visible please.  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   08:48, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Case forwarded to the judge and jury

Happytimes might want to add another affidavit - but he can do it later as well. Here's what I think now, and a link to the court session construction page. -- The  Rulebook 07:17, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

I'll finish my response soon enough I suppose.... After sleep time; Oh boy! That's where I'm a viking!  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   08:48, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

All right, I have no more affidavits to file. About "evidence", my opinion is it's best left to be mentioned in the transcript, for instance "At this point Multiliteralist provided as evidence his mother's brasserie, which on closer study was revealed as a C-cup model. The attorney of Happytimes (Happytimes him/herself I presume) then accused Multiliteralist of possible falsifying..." and so cetera. -- The  Rulebook 11:52, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

Klink to the transcript composition page: User:Multiliteralist/Multi_vs_Happy1. -- The  Rulebook 11:54, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Graphic

I've been laughing for about five minutes. I've put your uploaded Creamy graphic on my user page (In Context!!) and just wanted to thank you for this rare find and for putting it on uncy.Aleister in Chains 03:17, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

Yes! Awesome, spread that lovin' all around (pun intended).  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 08:34, 12 December 2009

[edit] Dicks everywhere

Multiliteralist doesn't believe you have a raging boner. Care to set him straight? --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 05:18, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

That's easy. FUCK YEAH I AM SO PUNK ROCK! 08:03, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

Nice sig Colin... Me likey.  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 08:33, 12 December 2009

Oh all right, I stand corrected. So, um --- you want me to suggest Sir Paul McCartney can suck Zana_Dark's dick? But it would be pukey for her. -- The  Rulebook 09:32, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

Truth be told, there is something kind of sexy about Walri. Maybe it's the mustache.  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 02:14, 13 December 2009

[edit] Heads and Tails

A trivial matter, but law is nothing if not trivial. As you're listed as Department Head of Uncyclopedia Legal Department and as Dr. Happytimes is listed as Department Tail, it seems to me both fitting and proper that your name be at the head of the list (which it is), and Happytimes at the tail end, or foot, of the list (which it was but now is not). Also I think the joke would work better. Any objection to me moving it? Ex pede Herculem.     Father Xmas WHY??? (confessions)  05:44, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

I have no problem with that, but new users will generally add their names to the bottom of the list automatically.  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 07:43, 14 December 2009

No problem here either. (P.S. Been workin' on sum stuff for legal....)  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   07:45, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

I'm pretty busy for the next few days. Court will be back in session then.  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 07:50, 14 December 2009

I want a raise. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 07:59, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Here's two cents. Don't you know that you need to file a proper complaint to get a raise? See, that's why you're unpaid. Oh, and can I get a latté, please? ;)  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 08:09, 14 December 2009

Here you are! Can I have a raise now? -- The  Rulebook 08:11, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

I think I deserve at least the two bits that Happytimes gets paid. Oh, and they were out of lattes so I got you a Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet'N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice. With a cherry on top. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 08:15, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Come on Syn you know the two bits is the standard we all get paid just for being on the Unsych staff. I think I should get a raise too. Zana, I think I should get at least two-cents for being an Unlegal Unlawyer too!!  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   08:42, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Newb Proposal

UN:LEGAL Legal Department Has happily summoned you to review "The Proposal". "Crede Quia Absurdum Est "

I, User:Happytimes, have been giving this new-fangled Unlegal department some of my best thoughts lately. Some things have come to mind... (Lawyers speak in third person right?) Ahem, ~H~ *CA* lack of organization, *CA* no legal dictionary set-up yet, *CA* lack of significant pay for ~H~. See summons if it be to please you. (<-- Newb Antagonist) (Newb Case? -->)

Nice! work on the Unlegal category pages Zana! I'm so glad I procrastinated long enough not to do it. That was a lot of work and I appreciate it!  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   04:42, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] EGAoEitDoM

Wow! You like me! You really like me! Thanks so very much for your nom and vote for Emmanuel Goldstein Award of Excellence in the Distribution of Misinformation. I love how you put it: "He preaches the news like nobody's business." That alone, such high praise from such as yourself, gives me some bragging rights. cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 21:13, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

Well, someone's gotta give that damn Todd Lyons a run for his money, don't you think?  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 10:11, 17 December 2009

[edit] Thanks, for the memories

Thanks for you vote Zana, you've made my day (and hopefully my night). Gives me the confidence to not jump off the City Hall roof at midnight on Festivus Eve, as I had planned. Aleister in Chains 00:14, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Newb Case?

That template/award is Awesome! Just awesome sauce all the way around. So I can assume Unlegal is 4¢ in the hole now?  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   02:38, December 16, 2009 (UTC) (02:29, December 16, 2009) (<-- Newb Proposal)(Newb Vote of Confidence -->)

Well, technically 6¢ after I was bribed by Syndrome. Butt don't worry, I have plenty of shiny ass pennies to go around!  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 02:46, 16 December 2009

I like how "shiny assed pennies" are the butt of that joke.  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   09:21, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] I did this

Uncyclopedia_Legal_Department/Cases is there now. etc etc Please see dept. talk page for a more clear version of this. -- The  Rulebook 07:59, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

I helped! I HELP HELP HEP IT! Well, I helped with this part User:Multiliteralist/Multi vs Happy1 anyway.  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   09:20, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Explain, please

Please let me know why you did this. I'd prefer my talk pages, especially archived versions, not be changed, but you may have a good reason for it. If not, I just might file a lawsuit. I'm part of the Uncyclopedia Legal Department, you know, and you'd be afraid if you knew the awesome power wielded by our department head.     Father Xmas WHY??? (confessions)  17:55, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, I should have gave you a heads up, but I figured you would understand my edit summary. Anyhoo, the template I removed was causing your talk page archive to be categorized as unlegal, which would indicate an improper use of the aforementioned template. (I'm trying to purge all of the user talk pages from the UnLegal category. I should have just replaced the template in the first place, but we were still working out the details of which templates do what.

BLAH! Long story short is the templates are for categorizing, and that was the wrong one for there.... Cool?  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 02:37, 17 December 2009

Understand an edit summary? I want at least 500 pages of legal documentation. On second thought, no I don't. (Seriously, I like your fix; thanks!)     Father Xmas WHY??? (confessions)  20:24, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Madman Madame...

Meet me in chat if you have time please. Nothing urgent or necessary so don't feel compelled. Yours, the Space Attorney -- The  Rulebook 10:05, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

In fact if you're in now I'd like to chat a second. -- The  Rulebook 19:05, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Congratulations on your artistic achievement

Featured Article: Frida Kahlo This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

I have no more right to give this to you than anyone else, but it makes me feel special. So feel special yourself already.     Father Xmas WHY??? (confessions)  21:48, December 18, 2009 (UTC)

What he said, only feel more special.  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   02:18, December 19, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Newb Vote of Confidence

Thanks for helping me out here with the other types of voting buttons (I swear I did a really long search for buttons & didn't see any of those.) I've got a question though, if I've got the others categorized as "positive," "neutral" and "negative" how should I categorize these

( I guess. I think Question. WTF?)

since they don't seem to fit in those categories? Opinion? Snark? (I don't think they go into "neutral" because they're not grey.) Do people even use these while voting? or do they just use them for commenting on people's talk pages? Inquiring minds want to know.  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   08:26, December 28, 2009 (UTC) (<-- Newb Case?)

They are used to annoy people while voting, and on talk pages and in forums use them however you wish.  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 08:29, 28 December 2009

Ah, very very good. I'll have to consider that next time I'm a votin'. (I guess I'll categorize them as Noidz or Snark or Feedback Requested or something like that.)

P.S. any particular way you want me to vote on anything? We could throw an election in a second or third world country if you like....  ~  Happytimes are here!  (talk) (stalk)   08:39, December 28, 2009 (UTC)

You can vote however you want, but try to make it funny. As a matter of principal I try not to vote 'against' anything written by a 'friend' or 'associate' of mine (or any regular contributors really), unless I feel it is an invalid nomination (as in, total garbage). You don't have to vote on everything and in fact, I wouldn't comment at all, unless it was A) helpful or B) funny. Just a little bit to help curb the site drama. Oh, except for butter you have to vote for butter.  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 16:20, 28 December 2009

P.S.: I made this in your honor.  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 17:13, 28 December 2009