What is the CMC opinion on cheese? VGD>=3 20:46, 29 April 2008 (UTC)
Ahem: The CMC currently has no official opinion on "cheese" however it would like to help guide you by reminding you of the following important life rules that any CMC-er should follow: 1) Always copy the cows 2) Don't copy them so much you become a cow - that would be blasphemous. Now we must apply these rules to the general topic of cheese. Thus the CMC advises you, that while cheese is not an overly evil thing and is generally prone to doing nothing it may attempt to kill you in your sleep. From this statement we can decide that we should never sleep with cheese, consumption is fine, however. If cheese tries to distract you from your work or job or teaching you must give it a firm hard slap. Otherwise let your instincts guide you. Note: These sort of questions should be left on the CMC talk page. On this there page I hope to develop a New Testament Gospel thingy for the CMC from lots of interesting questions like that one you just fired at me. - 20:55 29 AprilSirFSt. (QotFBFFNotM)YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!
Cough, why yes, thank you, I shall direct all future religious questions through the link-funnel. VGD>=3 21:11, 29 April 2008 (UTC)
Same question as 'cheese' except leather. VGD>=3 00:55, 1 May 2008 (UTC)
Leather is perfectly acceptable, for a few reasons: 1) I don't want to give up leather and start wearing plastic shoes and stuff, that would be bad. Also 2) It has been decreed that eating cow meat is a form of worship, so from this we can deduce that using cow body parts as a material is almost a form of cow worship. For these reasons I can fully support leather in all its uses, unless there are exceptional cases, like if a Mozart cow comes along... - 16:12 1 MaySirFSt. (QotFBFFNotM)YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!
I see. Well that answers my questions for the time being! VGD>=3 16:40, 1 May 2008 (UTC)
Being the head cow, what is your opinion on the hilariousness that is a monkey? --SirDJ~Irreverent 09:07, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
A monkey could clearly be a spiritual threat to, er, your cow integrity. So we've got to work out whether it would be OK to laugh at/with monkeys or even to look at them/meet with them/talk to them. Well, what is a monkey? It is, of course, the key of a monk. To really understand a monkey we've got to figure out what a monk's key is and why the monkey was named after it. To answer the first question: a monk's key is the key that belongs to a monk and therefore a perfectly spiritually clean object. It is spiritually clean, not because it is owned by a monk, but because it is a key made entirely of silver. So we have established that while a monk's key may not be a good thing, it is certainly not a bad thing. So back to our monkeys. It must be presumed that the reason monkeys were named after a monk's key, or even monks' keys, is because they had some sort of relationship with this said key(s). Did they, perhaps, steal the keys to feed their young? Or maybe the keys were themselves keys to a monkey's soul? Well we know that a monkey doesn't have a soul and so we can therefore determine that they were named after monks' keys because they had a habit of stealing them.
Now to get down to directly answering your question: what is my opinion on the hilariousness of a monkey? Obviously if a monkey is an inherently good thing we can afford to laugh at it or with it. But if it is a bad thing then obviously it cannot be hilarious and then all monkeys would have to be locked up. However I'm proud to say that monkeys are inherently good things, because they stole from monks. We all know that monks are related to Hercules and so a bad thing. So, yes monkeys are hilarious, they're good and they should be treated in the nicest possible way...if you get my drift. - 09:37 4 MaySirFSt. (QotFBFFNotM)YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!
Heh heh. No the CMC is actually atheist in origin, and therefore a lot more sinister. We are the only known cult with less than four side-effects but we're not that fanatical, especially for a cult. Of course we also have a much better name than "Heaven's Gate". Moo. - 15:50 3 MaySirFSt. (QotFBFFNotM)YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!
This "pudge" you refer to should be considered an enemy of the cows! Now on the weasel question: Well let's look at this logically: what would the cows do or think? I reckon that we can say with a nod of our head and a little skip of joy that a cow would definitely try to stamp on a weasel to cause it prolonged pain. However cows don't actually hate weasels, they just like inflicting pain on them. So what you do when you come across a weasel? Well you should drag it to the nearest cow, before returning to your normal activities. Otherwise you should view weasels in a completely neutral light and treat them no differently to how you would treat a brick. - 17:16 22 MaySirFSt. (QotFBFFNotM)YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!
So I should chuck them at peoples' windows with threatening letters attached? VGD>=3 17:20, 22 May 2008 (UTC)
What do they want with us? I'm scareded. T-T VGD>=3 18:06, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
Aliens have worried many cows and many people over the years. The best way to deal with this fear is recognise that there is no threat. The Aliens are going to probe you sooner or later and then suck up your brains through small metal tubes...just accept it. Once you've accepted this, you can live your life in peace. You know that the aliens will eventually get you, but you don't consider it as a threat. Look on the positive side: your brains, one day, will feed starving Aliens across their alien planet.
One small step for a bovine quadrupedal herbivore, a giant leap for a species which isn't generally very good at leaping
Europe has been taken over by a series of Fascist revolutions and now they are coming for us!
But seriously though, I bring you news of the final frontier for cows. It seems like only yesterday that the only exploration a cow could handle was crossing the fence into the next field.
But now, after taking over the planet and the seas, cows have finally conquered the task of Space. It was announced at 5:45am 2 June 2008 that premier Moostronaut, Niel Legstrong, beat the Russian sheep in gaining the title of first Mooer in space (the very clever Russians had taught their sheep, very cleverly, how to talk Moo, to try and confound the brave efforts of cows).
In a press conference Mr. Legstrong confirmed that "Space is Big" and that "it's got stars too",
after being asked the pressing question "Baa?" by a senior sheep spokesman Mr. Legstrong calmly replied "Well that's not really in my field of study", drawing an end to this momentous occasion--McWooty 20:17, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
Good work McWooty! Nice reporting. Deeeeeee-smissed! I love saying that! -SirFSt.Yettie(talk)(>>)
Na, I'll be mooer 'till I die! ,or at least until I stop going on Uncyclopedia, or both!--McWooty 21:53, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
Oh good. McWooty, you seem like a very enthusiastic CMCer and so I was wondering if you wanted to help us out a bit? I think, very soon, I'm going to give the CMC the task of looking after various Uncyclopedia projects that need maintenance and general care. I think quite a few CMC members won't be that active in helping out with this, but maybe I could promote you, so that you could help me spearhead this new objective forwards? -SirFSt.Yettie(talk)(>>)
Sorry about the late reply I've been off for a bit (damn ghosts) but I would like to accept your offer as I am probably more of a regular Uncyclopedian than most casual users.
first the CMC, then the world!--McWooty 21:58, 7 July 2008 (UTC)
Quite! And ghosts? Okay, when I get round to implementing the CMC changes I'll get hold of you and tell you what's going on. If I keep putting it off you may have to remind me on me talkpage (my talkpage is quite a hard place to get to grips with at first, by the way). - [22:02 7 July] SirFStDonYettie
I have some ideas for the cow article so I'll go do that.--McWooty 19:56, 10 July 2008 (UTC)