User talk:Why do I need to provide this?

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Nominated Uncyclopedian of the Month This user has been nominated for Uncyclopedian of the Month—you can vote for them or nominate your favourite users at Uncyclopedia:Uncyclopedian of the Month.

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(2 Sept. 2009 - 1 Oct. 2009) * (2 Oct. 2009 - 12 Oct. 2009) * (13 Oct. 2009 - 1 Nov. 2009) * (2 Nov. 2009 - 12 Nov. 2009) * (13 Nov. 2009 - 11 Dec. 2009)

Am I a dumb ass? Yes.

"And G-D opened the mouth of the ass. And it said to Bilam, 'What didst I unto you for which you have hit me these three times?' And Bilam said unto the ass, 'Twas because thou hast mocked me. If I only had a sword in mine hand then by now I wouldst have slain thee." Talmud, Bamidbar 22:28-29.

"But was rebuked for his iniquity: the dumb ass speaking with man's voice forbad the madness of the prophet." King James Version of the Bible, 2 Peter 2:16.

Contents 1 2 Moar liek... 3 2004 World Series 4 No Dumb Ass he 5 Newb Proposal 6 Obviously I wasn't clear enough 6.1 Everyone chill the fuck out, sample some of this nonsense. 7 Comrad 8 How does one start a guide in the first person? 9 Just checking that... 10 Mensaje! 11 Drama 12 Strangely enough... 13 Danks 14 Rock and Roll pee

[edit]

TALK BELOW

[edit] Moar liek...

...a little bit long in the penis, amirite? Also: Rape. FUCK YEAH I AM SO PUNK ROCK! 02:03, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

You're such a tease.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  02:12, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] 2004 World Series

The Cardinals didn't stand a chance. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 02:10, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

Um, you mean the 2004 World Series that some called "the end of the "Curse of the Bambino?" Obviously not. Also why is it called "world" series when it's just the USA (including, of course, the northern state of Canada)?     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  02:18, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

The rest of the world doesn't count. Obviously. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 02:21, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

Oh, yes, obviously.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  02:34, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] No Dumb Ass he

(feel free to burn this after reading) You were just played within a joke within a comedy site within a bunch of swirling electrons of light, but aren't we all, heh! No dumb ass there, just the fun of the romp. Hey Little People Mermaid took two sides of what probably is a much more multi-sided personality and put them on-line at the same time, one all sweetness-and-light, the other rapid ravenger, and the fun of that was they both ended up nominated for the same award, one right above the other, arm-in-arm circling butterfly-hawk with you not so much foil as trusting helpmate to the sweetest innocent galpal a guy could walk a lane with who then just happened to notice the other thing, lurking in the bushes. In the end, each an electron creation of light, two heads of one playful prankster somewhere. So don't kick yourself with ancient sayings from dusty books, you are better than that by a longshot. The joke was on you? Good, it's a COMEDY SITE, and sometimes someone has to play the straight man. You did good, and the culprit did good, and now the tent has folded on that show. And if you want to continue it by beating yourself up, like in your intro to this page, we'll get some popcorn and watch. But I'd rather applaud. Like I said, you did fine. Aleister in Chains 04:31, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks. But I am not beating myself up; I'm attempting to be ironic, apparently in a manner that's a little too subtle to be fully appreciated by one and all here.

Good. I missed the ironic, not knowing you well and all. Please erase my comment at will. Aleister in Chains

No problem. The subtlety is in the biblical/Torah quotes, and the story, which is in the biblical Numbers 22. In short, the prophet is about to travel into something unwise, and his ass (donkey) that he's riding refuses to move because it sees danger that the prophet does not (an angel armed with a sword). The prophet beats his donkey for mocking him, but the donkey speaks and basically says I've been loyal, so why do you think I'm being a problem now? Then the prophet sees the arned angel, and repents and changes direction.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  05:12, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Does the angel even know the donkey? Are they friends? And who made the angel's sword, and where can I buy one? These are my questions four. Aleister in Chains 05:40, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Ex pede Herculem.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  05:50, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Got it! I bought an angel sword. Had to go to the spiritual black-market, down by the docks near the former location of Paradise, and I met a guy named Louie who knew where to get an angel sword (formerly owned by Michael the Archangel, who died in Chicago), and it's really cool. Thanks for the latin lead, that took me to the shores of Greece and from there it was a short jaunt over to Paradise. Aleister in Chains 01:55, December 18, 2009 (UTC)

On a completely unrelated note, you might want to see this.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  04:43, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Read it. Nah, guilty until proven innocent, the law of the jungle, hang 'em and ask question later, smoke 'em out and bag 'em, if she drowns she's innocent, a pizza sometimes is just a pizza, And if I'm wrong, my sincere apologies to either/or/and/more MermaidHeyLittlePeople(space left open for further additions). Good day, sir, Aleister in Chains 04:57, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Newb Proposal

UN:LEGAL Legal Department Has happily summoned you to review "The Proposal". "Crede Quia Absurdum Est "

I, User:Happytimes, have been giving this new-fangled Unlegal department some of my best thoughts lately. Some things have come to mind... (Lawyers speak in third person right?) Ahem, ~H~ *CA* lack of organization, *CA* no legal dictionary set-up yet, *CA* lack of significant pay for ~H~. See summons if it be to please you.

[edit] Obviously I wasn't clear enough

You are not to get involved with any conflicts that do not concern you personally, this being one. You are, again, interfering in an issue that you lack the relevant knowledge to contribute anything positive to. If you continue is that manner. the next step will be to put an office rule regarding your ongoing interference. So I'll say it once more. You are not to interfere with any conflicts on this website until I feel that you have sufficient knowledge not to escalate simple day to day issues to full blown dramas. ~ 09:11, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Why are you so harsh on him? It's a HUMOR wiki after all, you know..    moonshine   • 10:22 • Monday, 14-12-2009

Love and peace guys! Let's all stop fighting and try some of the stuff that Modus keeps in the boot of his car, he has, like, chill out pills. Non-sequiturs are not a possible side effect. --ChiefjusticeDS 18:16, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

I was ready to leave this site until Why fixed a conflict. He's not the one who made that a full blown drama. Maybe you remember who was? But Im not getting mad I'm on winter break. Dame Pleb Cpt. Miley Spears (talk) 03:23, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

Why's a cool guy, he just needs to chill out on the pretentiousness a bit. I still consider myself a noob, and I've been on this site longer than him. (although maybe that's to do with competence rather than experience. Hmmmm...) ---Matfen815 13:44, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

Sgt. Cheddar reporting. Ready to head full-force into drama territory when you give the word, sir. - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 03:54,17December,2009

[edit] Everyone chill the fuck out, sample some of this nonsense.

8===========D~ ~ ~ ~O:

FUCK YEAH I AM SO PUNK ROCK! 04:09, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Comrad

Thanks to your vote Julius Malema is one step closer to becoming President of South Africa. Nice going. What a wonderful thing democracy is. Now surrender your property to the government and move along. Nothing to see here. Except the featured article on 14 Dec 2009

Thank you Father for all your help in creating this article. --BlueSpiritGuy 10:27, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

You're welcome, son.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  20:27, December 18, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] How does one start a guide in the first person?

So, regarding my article that you have reviewed, I've made most of the changes that you suggested. I think I'm really having problem with the guide and conversation issue you pointed out. How big of a problem is it? When I wrote it though, I didn't really have a clear concept, but I kinda imagined the narrator talking to the reader while having the guide in print in front of them, but that's kinda contrived isn't it? I guess I'll go try harder...

Also, how do you think I can make it less one-note? But hey, I was really flattered that you think my article is more informative than the Wikipedia one, and quite happy that it made you wanna check out the band. You can now join me and Guildy in the "people who have heard of Colin Meloy" club. Anyhow, welcome back from your ban, I missed you during the day you were gone. *sniff* ~☎ If you disagree with me you're like Hitler. 09:34, Dec 16, 2009

I'm glad I could help. I don't think it's a problem that you didn't have a clear concept when you began; that's what rewriting is for. But I do think it would work a lot better if you either wrote this as a guide that someone is reading (which you seem to do through most of the article), or that it's a conversation. I think when it jumps back and forth from one to the other, it breaks the otherwise nice flow of your article.

If you do want to do both, where it's the writer showing the guide to a friend, then you could clarify that in the beginning. This could be something like, "I wrote this guide; here it is so please tell me what you think." Then you could put the sections of the guide in, say, italics, and have the conversation in quotes. Doing that would probably require more work than choosing one or the other--for one thing, you'd probably need to add quotes from the person reading the guide.

Or here's another idea. You could write it as a guide without conversation, but have the writer assume what the reading is thinking--this could show a little paranoia, and could work. For example, instead of "What’s with that look on your face?" you could use something like "I can imagine that look on your face."

As for the one-note issue, I don't have specific suggestions on how to expand that. You could think about different aspects of Colin Meloy, perhaps. I'm afraid I'm probably not much help here, because if you include too much it will take away from the focus of your article. It's possible if you work on the above this will fix itself. Also I'm writing this before I've read the changes you made, so may have different ideas after that. I'll try to check it out sometime in the next few hours. Happy editing!     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  17:32, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

Yes...you know how I hate working on my own articles. It'll probably take me another month to get it into VFH shape. I wrote the thing in October, which might explain the outdated skinny jeans. My glacier-like article writing speed is something that astounds even me. And *triumphantly* I found two grammatical mistakes in the article that you missed! ~☎ If you disagree with me you're like Hitler. 19:07, Dec 16, 2009

Congrats on finding two errors! In my defense, I was Pee Reviewing, not Proofreading, so that's not surprising. But I must admit I've proofread and missed an error. I guess I'm not perfect, sigh.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  20:16, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

I reread the article. I like what you've done, and think you've made significant improvement. As I said, I think it was almost ready for VFH before you made improvements. I see you've taken out some of the guide--in person conflict, but still have "Crap which you probably like, you disgusting, mouth-breathing ignoramus" which would indicate a guide, not in person (or there'd be a fight). Also I like the beard references, but you might want to explain why Colin Meloy doesn't have one (except in one of the pictures). And in the Be Subtle section I'm still not sure where your writer got the interpretation of "a shape(-)shifting man". But the rest of it looks good to me. Definitely let me know when you're finished!     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  21:31, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

It's because muttonchops are more superior than beards. (I don't have a good reason, though.) The "shape-shifting man" refers to the plot of The Hazards of Love, which, if you haven't heard it, probably wont get. I'll remove it if you really hate it that much. Thank you so much again. You really are awesome. ~☎ If you disagree with me you're like Hitler. 08:10, Dec 18, 2009

Another thing, you were right about the last picture being not ironic, which ironically, makes it ironic. (no?) When I put it there, I just wanted to used the word "irony" somewhere, but couldn't fit it in, so the somewhere turned out to be anywhere. ~☎ If you disagree with me you're like Hitler. 16:45, Dec 18, 2009

If the "shape-shifting man" fits the song, keep it. I'll just have to listen to some of CM and the D's music. I don't think I can be really awesome until I do that.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  20:22, December 18, 2009 (UTC)

Another thing, did you know that song titles are supposed to go in quotation marks, not italics? Album titles are the ones that go in italics. I think they look better in italics, though, so I'm probably not gonna change them. ~☎ If you disagree with me you're like Hitler. 16:52, Dec 18, 2009

I know as a general rule short works in quotes and long works in italics. But I've seen so many exceptions and debates (the name of a television program should be in quotes even if it's aired on TV for thousands of hours but a 1 1/2 hour movie is in italics), and different sources disagree, that I'm not too worried about it.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  20:25, December 18, 2009 (UTC)

Ok, ok, I shall go ahead and nom my article. The process is unnecessarily painful. Wish me luck. T_T ~☎ If you disagree with me you're like Hitler. 09:44, Dec 19, 2009

I did better than wish you luck; I voted for. But, luck.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  00:34, December 23, 2009 (UTC)

Just wondering, how many people followed all or most of your official/unofficial pee review suggestions and failed to get featured? Since you don't have this on your user page, is it zero? ~☎ If you disagree with me you're like Hitler. 16:13, Dec 23, 2009

[edit] Just checking that...

it's okay for me to do a review of the covenant. I noticed it hasn't been done, and I couldn't see you fully confirming you'll do it anywhere. Just didn't want to step on any toes if you were still planning on doing it. ---Matfen815 14:04, December 18, 2009 (UTC)

Not stepping on my toes--go for it.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  20:26, December 18, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Mensaje!

Thank you. =)  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 23:00, 18 December 2009

On a side note, you may want to read what I've written here. It applies to you somewhat, but more in a legally binding way. ;)  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN 17:45, 19 December 2009

Thanks for the link; I posted comments.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  19:38, December 19, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Drama

Hi, I have just wrote an article that parodies the social phenomenon on Uncyclopedia known as Drama. Seeing as its become a bit of a problem in the past few months (years?) I thought it would be quite cool to make a section at the bottom of the article about other users' opinions of Drama. So I thought I'd invite you to write one, preferably humourous. It's no big deal if you don't want to, but if you are interested, you can come up with a quote and either leave it here on your talk page and I'll add it later, or you can go straight to the article itself and add it there. Any suggestions on improvement are also welcome. Thnx. ---Matfen815 00:23, December 21, 2009 (UTC)

Article link here.

Before I'd make a quote about drama on Uncyclopedia, I'd want to know: can I get blocked for that?     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  04:35, December 21, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Strangely enough...

Tombstone was on TV last night. Hadn't seen it for years, but I don't know how I got Val Kilmer and Michael Biehn confused. Maybe it was all the dodgy mustaches. Thanks for correcting me. ---Matfen815 13:12, December 22, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, well, I like showing off how much worthless trivia I know. (Actually, I have to admit I didn't remember Michael Biehn played Johnny Ringo--I had to look that up).     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  00:33, December 23, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Danks

Thanks for the vote, or half vote, or the slap on the back, or across the face. Appreciated. Happy Festivus Eve, and thanks again. Aleister in Chains 14:09, December 22, 2009 (UTC)

You're half welcome.     Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  00:33, December 23, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Rock and Roll pee

So thanks again for the review there. I want to know from your perspective about one thing. I have looked at the suggestion to broaden the concept into the social menace of rock, and at first I thought it was a great idea because there is a lot of satire potential there. But I put some thought and effort into it and it seemed wrong in context. It seemed to distract from the concept, almost like it was a second uncyclopedia article from a different author-character. I see a lot of funny in the idea, but I also have a consistency problem that really ruins it for me. Maybe I'm limiting my character, like his life in my head is overly specific, but it didn't feel like his perspective. The character who is complaining about the social problems is more of a right-wing fundy christian, while this guy is an elitist snob. Anyway, I couldn't find a way to reconcile it in my head. In your view, how strong would the improvement be that you see in adding the social menace idea, or how weak at least are the humor limitations of the elitist concept alone? Do you have any time to contribute this perspective in a way that you see is consistent and funny? Thanks again. I did make a few of the excellent suggestions you made, and I think the article has benefited from it. Check it out. --    GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, film critic 20:10, December 23, 2009 (UTC)