User talk:WarWalrus/Nazi Poetry

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Eh? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 16:10, July 4, 2011 (UTC)

edit Changes

Okay...first things first...kudos on the Modern Nazi poetry. Its far more subtle, very ironic and in my opinion well done. As youll notice I suggested some changes to two of your poems.

For the first poem I changed the line to...someone must die. By not talking about the Jews directly the poem seems far more absurd. the logic is: My country is beautiful, lets kill people. This... at least in my opinion seems a lot more ironic and funnier than simply gassing Jews which unesesarily calls up the shock value of killing Jews when you can do so far more indirectly.

The second change I made was about family. Here...I don't even mention Jews at all. I just changed a couple lines to talk about Germans talking beautifuly about their family and then doing disgusting things about war. Here, at least in my opinion, its a good idea to stay away from Jews at all, as it not only makes the final poem a lot more funny (which I think is the best part of the article even though It will make some people squeeeeeeeeeeeeam)...but can still be funny and ironic without being direct about it.

Anyways...hope you understood me at all. Have fun with the article and do whatever you like with the changes of course. --ShabiDOO 16:26, July 4, 2011 (UTC)

I think this article should be moved from here and mainspace as it's still an incoherent jumble in my view. Perhaps re-assign it to the writer's own user space. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 06:12, July 5, 2011 (UTC)

Unfortunately I agree...onlu cause its such a sensitive topic. Theres potential for sure. But in my humble opinion it really has to be super clear that the nazis and not the jews r the target --ShabiDOO 09:34, July 5, 2011 (UTC)

I understand about the sensitivity of this subject and I will move it back to my namespace. I really need to stop writing about nazis and IRA now. --Waylander37 12:54, July 5, 2011 (UTC)

You should write about whatever you want to write about. I think if you think a little more clearly about the concept you could turn out something good. But...as I suggested in the pee review, any article on a sensitive topic probably shouldnt be on the main space until its really ready and pretty clear about it. I personally really really like the final poem (in combination wiht the intro), and the neo-nazi one also has a lot of potential. Go for it!!! --ShabiDOO 14:52, July 5, 2011 (UTC)
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