User talk:UnwiseOwl

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Hey. Welcome and stuff. It's good to have another from down under as few of us understand the humour (humor?) down there. If you need any help feel free to ask. Someone will be along to welcome you properly soon.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  15 Jan 2010 ~ 06:55 (UTC)

See, what did I tell you.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  16 Jan 2010 ~ 00:46 (UTC)

edit Welcome

 Hey, UnwiseOwl, welcome to Uncyclopedia!

edit Welcome!

Hello, UnwiseOwl, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you want to write and don't know where to begin, consider contributing to Uncyclopedia's current colonization of the week, a group writing project to improve a single popular article. Anyone is welcome to contribute, so come help out!

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

Also, if you happen to know anyone who is Singaporean, tell me. I currently have a project going on and anyone is welcome to join, and help. Also, if you're feeling tired or something, just visit MyBrute for relaxtion! It's a fun game!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!

Now, being less formal, you will see the above message in a lot of users' talk page. However, that does not mean this is an automated message. Really, I had to click on your user talk, copy-paste this stuff, and submit it with my own fleshy finger. I'm not a bot. I exist. Now, for some "personal", "non-official" advice:

  • You may think some stuff that appears everywhere here is cool, like Oscar Wilde, Chuck Norris, Kitten Huffing, Russian Reversal, and Mr. T. Those things are completely overused and not really funny anymore. Among us sophisticated intelligentsia, we call this phenomenon cliché. Whatever, these subjects are worn out, near death, and in dire need of being huffed. Just please don't mention them unless you have a very, very good reason. Or if it's funny. And I mean funny.
  • Another thing we veterans hate is Random Humor. Don't put chicken from Mars in an article about George Washington. You can put it in an article about, well, Chicken from Mars. That's it.
  • Humor is a subtle subject. People will tell you that talking about excretes is just bad taste - count me among them - and others will find this kind of stuff the
    pinnacle of subversive irony. Just stay calm, have a good look at HTBFANJS, and try to learn what works best. No one here will ban you as long as you don't impose your non-conformist ideas on already created stuff.
  • Start pages in userspace, first. By that, I mean if you wanted to create a page called "Flappy woo-ha," instead of creating the page Flappy woo-ha, create User:UnwiseOwl/Flappy woo-ha. That way, you'll have plenty of time to work on it and it won't be deleted or ICU'd. You can start a page in mainspace, just make damn sure what you put there is long enough and funny enough to not get huffed.
  • Never recreate a deleted article. Never redo a reverted edit. Never.
  • There are a lot of links I just put on your page. This is the most important one. HTBFANJS is important, but the mybrute link is better.
  • You can steal templates and welcome people, but don't forget to but the subst: inside the template. Like {{subst:Welcome}}. I used User:Zheliel/welcome. A lot better, it includes these fun linkies.
  • And, finally, don't be afraid. We don't eat people. Usually.

edit It's not over!

Hello again UnwiseOwl, I just have a few basic introductory questions for you. Don't worry, this is just basic protocol.

  1. How old are you?
  2. Where are you from?
  3. Have you experienced any traumatic incidents in the last 30 days?
  4. How much fluid have you consumed so far today?
  5. Have you ever been hit in the head?
  6. If so, how hard?
  7. Do you remember what you ate for breakfast on Tuesday?
  8. Can you pronounce the word "Cliché" for me?

And lastly, thank you UnwiseOwl. That should be all. For now.

He means me. carrot lol 13:23 January 15

I second that welcome. Especially as it looks like you've signed up for the church. Wise move--oh, sorry, in your case, unwise move. If you have any questions about Uncyclopedia, life, the birds and the bees, feel free to post a note on my talk page and I'll pretend to know the answer. Happy editing! Compassrose Father WHY??? (confessions)  02:39, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

edit Do I spy me a stowaway?

Ahoy! Me thinks me sees a stowaway who snuck aboard Imperial Colonization and edited Transformers without joining the crew. Wants to walk the plank and swim with the sharks? No? Then fear not. Simply go to Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization and apply for the crew where it says "Hey, sign up here! (Membership requests)." Otherwise, I'm a thinking you might be shark bait. ARRR! Buccaneer WHY??? 07:50, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

I just added you to the IC members. Welcome aboard! (Also I might be able to give you retroactive credit for work on Transformers, but as that was going on before I took over I'll have to check). WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 05:58, February 2, 2010 (UTC)


The Bible says God created the world in six days by himself--our crew of talented colonizers can surely recreate an article in a week and a half! Remember, any Colonizer is welcome to work on our current project, which is the Creationism article. But before you begin, check "READ THIS FIRST" at the top. From Sunday, 7 February to Wednesday, 10 February 2010, a hearty crew of brave colonizers plotted a strong course for the article by consensus. We have the beginning of a great colonization, so go forth and colonize to the glory of Her Majesty!

Special Note for Lobsterbacks (i.e. those who signed up but haven't yet worked on a successful colonization). We plan to keep your name on the honored membership list if you make worthwhile contribution to the article or other parts of Imperial Colonization between 31 January 2010 and the end of this project. If your name is removed from the list, you are welcome to reapply when you plan to become active. Compassrose IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  05:26, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

edit The changes

You wrote on your user page: "I logged back on here the other day, and decided it has gone downhill. Which is quite the achievement. Well done." Indeed the Internet's methods of self-expression are growing faster than satire encyclopedias are. There are several available responses: Hand-wringing, or write a funny article and help solve the problem. I have fun doing the latter. But your sarcastic comment that the decline in this website is an "achievement" someone sought to achieve suggests a third response: Finger-pointing and feeling superior. If you want collaboration or support (here or in Real Life), you ought to keep that tendency to yourself. Spıke Ѧ 11:03 9-Oct-14

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