User talk:Unedible

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edit Welcome!

Hello, Unedible, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

Also, I suggest you use our templates wisely. Use Template:Construction on unfinished articles by adding {{construction}} at the end of the article, or alternatively create the article in your namespace under the title User:Unedible/ArticleTitle. If you want help with articles, post on Pee Review. Finally, please do not put your signature in your articles.

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!  Icons-flag-au Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 14:01, 21 April 2007 (UTC)

edit HowTo:Cure Cancer

I like that image... plus I'm in the UK so the FDA can piss off --Prof. Olipro Icons-flag-gb KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 18:18, 2 May 2007 (UTC)

edit Vandalize Wikipedia

Whilst we may claim a rivalry as it were with Wikipedia... we DO NOT condone vandalising them, and we also don't appreciate you trying to coerce others into joining you in a vandalising spree... if you do vandalise Wikipedia, we'll ban you here too... so instead, why not do something creative and useful like make a funny article here on Uncyclopedia eh? Cheers. -- Prof. Olipro Icons-flag-gb KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 17:48, 3 May 2007 (UTC)

edit Thank You

Freeze, evil-doer!!!
Black & White Cookies
You have be
some black an
For voting on The 
en awarded
d white cookies
Black And White Man
Now sing along: “Ebony, Ivory, living in perfect harmony!”

--herr doktor needsAcorpse Rocket [scream!] 04:06, 7 May 2007 (UTC)

edit Welcome to UnNews

Che Ape

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Unedible, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 18:24, 7 May 2007 (UTC)

edit UnNews

I've moved this to your user space because it's not really UnNews. Read through the stuff I advised in your welcome (above) if you're not sure what's appropriate. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 22:32, 4 August 2007 (UTC)

edit Your UnNews story

I moved your story here to your user space, in case you want to save it for posterity, or keep as a memento... if this was a joke entry for a recent contest, no worries. If you wrote this thinking it was a good article, you're sadly mistaken and I refer you above to my welcoming drivel. In either case... Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 17:47, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Ahmadinejad says Iran is Ready for Nuclear Alternatives

Liked that story, good ideas and well executed. I won't nominate it for a VFH as I don't support UnNews stories as features but thought I should instead send a supportive message to your page. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 23:45, February 5, 2012 (UTC)

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