User talk:Uncycloperson

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia

Spike the Dog (06b)

Spike is a grumpy old dog. You can stroke his fur, or you can be smitten by his stick. It is up to you.

Hello, Uncycloperson, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.

What you can do

You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Uncycloperson/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.

What you need

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.

What to read

Here are some pages that might help you:

For personal help
  • The administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
  • I will watch this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
  • If you've written an article, we have a Proofreading service where someone will correct your mistakes, and a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read your article and suggest improvements.
How to post to talk pages

Please follow these general rules:

  • Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice them.
  • Start your paragraphs with one or more : characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
  • At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your user name and the current date and time.
  • Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by striking them through like this.

I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff! Spıke ¬ 14:56 19-May-13

Memes

Hello and welcome! Based on your emerging user page, one thing you should realize is that Oscar Wilde and AAAAAA! are so, well, 2008. We are looking for new comedy, so be sure you do more than make new articles do a better job of imitating old articles. Happy editing! Spıke ¬ 14:56 19-May-13

CONGRATULATIONS !!! CONGRATULATIONS !!! CONGRATULATIONS !!!

Att:Dear Sir/Madam,

CONGRATULATION

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners Thailand International programs held on the 21/11/005. You have been approved for a lump sum pay out ofUS$550.000.00 (FIVE Hundred And Fifty Thousand United States dollars).

Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants.

This is not a scam!

To file for your claim, please contact our paying officer:
Contact Person:Dr Perry More (Lottery Director)
Email: perry_more@she.com


I'm sorry I don't take US dollars. Will you be able to provide me with groats and tupence please? I believe the exchange rate is 4 dollars to every tupence. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:39, May 19, 2013 (UTC)

Mason-Dixon line

Hey. In an effort to be upfront and honest, and to save you wasting time, at the moment this article reads as unfunny garbage. The only thing keeping it from deletion is that regular editors here are giving you a bit of room to try and improve it, but to be blunt I can't see any way to improve this based upon what you've been doing. The repetition of racist memes is more stupid than funny, and nonsense dates and lists are just messy. I'd suggest you move it to your user space at the moment - stop it from being deleted outright - and read HTBFANJS before you try and write an article from the ground up. Try tweaking some older articles that need work, and practice your craft on those before going for something completely new. Especially as there is already an article on Mason Dixon Line.                               Puppy's talk page02:33 21 May 2013

And this is funnier how? Sprite comic The preceding unsigned comment was added by Uncycloperson (talk • contribs)
It's not. It's a terrible article, and now nominated for deletion. The idea is to delete the crap, not create more of it. Thanks for pointing that one out. Also, please learn to sign your posts. I edited your previous one to show how to correctly create an internal link.                               Puppy's talk page10:40 21 May 2013
Puppy is an established writer and is doing you a favor. If you think Southerners are all redneck racists, you are welcome to write an article that gently and cleverly tugs the reader in that direction. An article that shouts that same thing from start to end is not funny and will not last here. To have the very first sentence insist that the hyphen justifies your work distracts the reader with your own concerns, when you should be trying to reel him in. At the end of the intro, being hit with "the sudden urge to lynch a nigger" would make me quit reading. (I don't care whether it's you or the hypothetical redneck who said it.) The three sections of lists and nonsense numbers are useless.
As Puppy notes, instructions for indenting and timestamping your comments, I gave you in the first section on this page ("How to post to talk pages").
Finally, a lot of bad stuff happens here. When you do the same, finger-pointing to even worse stuff is excuse-making. That won't sell here. Spıke ¬ 12:10 21-May-13
What's with all this stereotypical attack on Southerners. I've lived on the edge of the Deep South and they're not that bad. It's the Northerners you got to watch out for! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:17, May 21, 2013 (UTC)

User:Uncyloperson/sig2 The reason I pointed out that article was it was in the how to funny article. @ScottPat I'm a West Virginian, we are far worse than hicks here. Real hillbillys.

Yikes!!!
The vote is running 6-0 to delete Sprite comic, though we cannot do so until 24 hours have passed.
How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid does did contain a link to this page, but only as an example of something "written by a mentally challenged 13-year-old." But your point is taken that a guide to writing good pages should not cite bad pages. Spıke ¬ 21:30 21-May-13
To be honest I have always respected the West Virginians and Virginians because that's where lots of the loyalists came from (I think). Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:00, May 22, 2013 (UTC)
I'm from Australia - to me you're all Northerners. Uncyclopeep - check out UN:SIG on how to set up a signature. If you need a hand, just holler.                               Puppy's talk page07:56 22 May 2013
No surely we're all Southerners because you have to read the maps upside down. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 07:58, May 22, 2013 (UTC)

Mason-Dixon line

I have userspaced this article. It does not seem encyclopedic enough, and does not have enough humor content to stay in mainspace, so I have moved it to your userspace at User:Uncycloperson/Mason-Dixon line for you to enjoy or work on. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 02:14, June 5, 2013 (UTC)

Stray Cats

Is this a better article? I saw the Hobo article and got the idea. I am not sure how to add pictures. --Uncycloperson (talk) 19:14, June 10, 2013 (UTC)

Not a bad start. Needs something of a 'middle' in my view. I have added two images to your page (click on "edit" to see how they are incorporated into the text). --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:03, June 11, 2013 (UTC)
I gave it an ending. You can change it but it needed a finale in my view. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:22, June 11, 2013 (UTC)

I wasn't sure how I was gonna do that. Thanks. --Uncycloperson (talk) 12:23, June 11, 2013 (UTC)

If you had a different way to finish it, go ahead. Reading the article, I presumed it was about a group of cats threatening a human who was spying on them. But thought the 'tough talking kitty' was funny and that there was a way to melt his 'alley cat heart'. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:27, June 11, 2013 (UTC)
Good work from both of you! I have no idea how many people will pick up on the Brian Setzer bit in the middle, but I liked it.                               Puppy's talk page12:34 12 Jun 2013

Adventure Quest on VFD

Why did you undo your nomination? All you did wrong is type an extra ]. Spıke ¬ 20:39 11-Jun-13

You gave it a template for 30 days of immunity I thought?--Uncycloperson (talk) 20:47, June 11, 2013 (UTC)

That was Admin Simsilikesims, not me. I said on her talk page just now that you seem to have moved first and you should be allowed to take it to VFD if you insist. I don't think the {{Fix}} tag will be responded to. Spıke ¬ 20:57 11-Jun-13

Templates?

I couldn't find any Hillbilly, Hippie, or Warning: this user listens to strange music. What are the rules regarding construction of templates. --Uncycloperson (talk) 23:10, June 12, 2013 (UTC)

Much the same as the rules on writing an article - if you want to call it rules. Has to be funny and not cyberbullying or vanity. The only additional element is that it should (theoretically) have more than a single use. There is the option of creating a false template where you simply add the code directly to the page but format it like a template. There are also some templates around that have the option of you being able to add in whatever images/text you like but they are still formatted like a user box template (Template:Userbox).                               Puppy's talk page11:55 12 Jun 2013
Try something like this:
CB This user is colour blind

Or to add an image:
Face This user makes ugly templates

The positioning on these can be a pain though, so you may want to utilize {{-}} so they don't end up sprawled everywhere.                               Puppy's talk page12:03 13 Jun 2013

My template template:Hillbilly has serious coding issues. Why is it so huge. That's what she said. Stop talking to yourself. --Uncycloperson (talk) 01:41, June 13, 2013 (UTC)

VFD

Whoa man, what happened? o_O I rollbacked your edits, but it seems you were trying to add some article there. So uh, do what you want now. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Sleeping Cat 11:58, 13 June, 2013 (UTC)

I was trying to nominate Ugh, and somehow I deleted the rest of the page.--Uncycloperson (talk) 12:00, June 13, 2013 (UTC)

Whoa, I was just recommending you to do that until I saw the name of the case; someone had blanked the page and there was text, therefore, you can't nominate it. It has a construction tag so someone is working on it, so don't nominate it. ALSO, such short articles do not even belong to VFD. Check out this shit, QVFD. It's the quicker version. Put a name of the article there, and an admin will check it someday soon and propably delete it. It's up to the big guy. However, as the article has a construction-tag on it, you can't do really anything to it. You can either 1. expand it, or 2. wait the seven days for it to be deleted. Thanks, Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Sleeping Cat 12:07, 13 June, 2013 (UTC)
The most common reason that stuff gets blanked is that you need to know the following about the edit window (and about Windows): When you hold down the mouse button and "drag," everything the pointer passes over gets "selected." If you should hit Ctrl-A by mistake, everything in the document becomes selected. Typing text when there is a selection replaces the selection (in this case, the entire page) with your typing. You are not to blame for not knowing this, but you are a little to blame for not looking at the result and seeing you had made a massive change, until Cat bailed you out.
I have administratively deleted the article that you and CutlassPrincessX were trying to delete, with instructions to her along the lines already given by other users.
Now, to continue the morning's speech, could I beg you to use the Preview button instead of Save, if all you want to do is see how your changes will look on the page? Then continue editing and press Save only at major stopping points. When reviewing the night's "work," we don't need to see that you edited your own user page 16 times! Thanks. Spıke ¬ 12:58 13-Jun-13

See I noticed. It told me I couldn't revert.--Uncycloperson (talk) 02:02, June 14, 2013 (UTC)

I am not talking about revert or undo. When you have done some edits, instead of going down and clicking Save, click the adjacent Preview button and you will see how things will look and can continue editing without doing a formal write. Separately, at QVFD, don't create a new ==header== for each document, but an entry under the day's header for your new request. Spıke ¬ 02:07 14-Jun-13

Butterfly effect elephant attack

Your good sense of humor is evident again in this article, but it has one fundamental design error: No one will look up, in our encyclopedia, "Butterfly effect elephant attack". It is very close to a page where the reader has to type the punch line to see the joke. Could you try to hang this writing off a subject (a page name) that someone will actually search for?

Separately, I may have fixed the error in your Template:Hillbilly. Also, read M:Help:Tables for help figuring out what you are doing creating "wikitables"--or just copy an existing one and modify its innards carefully.

You are welcome to write anything you like about yourself on your user page (except, for example, how to book your garage band, or how Tyrone at the next desk is a nigger). But you ought not create templates in the public namespace whose only obvious point is a single use on your user page. This is not a criticism against what you have written but only creating files in the shared area. Also, if you create one that doesn't work, the answer is not to call out for others to drop what they are doing and help you, but to discard it and try something else, or better yet, get back to building the encyclopedia (which it looks like you did)! Cheers! Spıke ¬ 13:58 13-Jun-13

PS--PuppyOnTheRadio mentions on my talk page that blanking is sometimes the fault of server issues at our webhost and of nothing that the editor does at all. Spıke ¬ 15:00 13-Jun-13 Luckily Illogicopedia doesn't have an article on the Butterfly Effect. With a few changes...--Uncycloperson (talk) 21:48, June 14, 2013 (UTC)

Moondog

Moondog My next article you do not see, yet. It will be on Moondog. I will write it first on Illogicopedia to see what it looks like. Butcher it. Then put the I butchered clone here. Surprisingly enough there is already a reference to Moondog (Musician). --Uncycloperson (talk) 14:57, June 13, 2013 (UTC)

This user space User:Uncycloperson/Bedbug dedicated to my slow work on this article.--Uncycloperson (talk) 15:35, June 13, 2013 (UTC)

Almost done. Still have to write about his late life and his bringing of the Indians to a a pow-wow in Germany..--Uncycloperson (talk) 21:01, June 13, 2013 (UTC)

Add a second line break in paragraphs if you don't want them running together (see what I did above). Also, to link to Wikipedia articles it's easier and more robust to use interwiki links rather than full URIs. For instance, [[WP:Moondog]] will give you WP:Moondog. You can clean up the look of it with a pipe trick, where you type in [[WP:Moondog|]]. This will save as [[WP:Moondog|Moondog]] and end up with a link like this: Moondog.
Other than that your article is now the odds on favorite to win the best noob in PLS. However, someone else might add in another article to compete. I can't give any help on it at the moment as it would invalidate the competition, but I'll give some more constructive feedback when judging comes around.
It's good to see your articles are becoming more polished as you go along. Keep up the good work! (But remember the bit about preview before save SPIKE talked about above.)                               Puppy's talk page12:17 14 Jun 2013

Prog Rock

Thanks for fixing one of the red-links in this article. Only, here as on Wikipedia, after the first reference, it's not supposed to be a link at all.

And that is the least of this page's problems, which include a horribly long list of quotations, an even longer list at the end, and ASCII art that will make the typical reader's eyes glaze over. But I see it was on the main page in 2006 so I won't ask you to fix it. Spıke ¬ 15:28 14-Jun-13

Being a prog rock fan, I found that article months ago. I find it entertaining.--Uncycloperson (talk) 15:41, June 14, 2013 (UTC)

Me too. The names it drops, I found entertaining. (I stumbled onto Marillion only recently; also IQ, which is often compared to them.) The article, I just found listy and ugly. But as I say, it was a FA once, so let's find better problems to solve. Restating my point of writing, don't turn stuff into links except on their first use. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 15:52 14-Jun-13

New Article Planned

A running Monty Python gag and Tarquinius has inspired me to make an article called Bigus Dickus (Roman). Will be up eventually.--Uncycloperson (talk) 16:46, October 19, 2013 (UTC)

Welcome back. There is already a Bigus Dickus article in that slot by Zarbag. I am guessing the Tarquinius idea is about Tarquin Barrel, failed parliamentary candidate for the Silly Party. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 23:16, October 19, 2013 (UTC)

Well

I have my own personal computer now, so I will begin writing articles again. My first target is the Alpacalyspe ----

Welcome back! The pawn shop must be as happy as you are. Just a reminder, as your first project is built on a pun: Don't make the page title the pun, so that the reader has to guess your pun to read your page! Instead, put it somewhere someone will actually look it up. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 03:17 6-Dec-13

End Time

If you are as doubtful about this article as you say on its talk page, you should have started it at User:Uncycloperson/End Time. (Or move it there now and ask someone at UN:QVFD to delete the redirect.)

It's a good concept but is going to take a lot of work.

  • Intro starts very slow; one true sentence, then "It is almost universally believed" (gassy). I read this looking for a reason to be interested in the article. Try this: that people of all religions are so obsessed with the End Times because they want to be somewhere else when it happens, but they are hindered because, when it comes right down to it, they don't know a thing about it.
  • Christianity (use == for the heading) starts out with more gas: "is believed to have been". Finally (in the parens) a brilliant joke on Final Destinations. Unfortunately, you go back to parentheses often, and what's in them is not as funny. Don't say "also see"; just make Raptor Jesus a link and the job is done for you. This section ends in a list of apocalyptic but unrelated things. What is your point?
  • Islam starts and ends as a list. I am hardly an expert, but you should go straight to Wikipedia and read about what Muslims believe about End Times and the afterlife. (86 virgins is a good place to start.) Instead, your list is about signal events having nothing to do with anything, nor with each other. Seeing how many of these you can put on the page is not funny at all, especially after Anon adds two every night because you gave him the impression they did not have to be funny. Again, it won't be as funny as it could be until you devise a theme that relates to the real thing in some strange way. An additional demerit for mentioning "kitten huffing." All the comedy in this expression has been lost in its 8 years of life here, and you are using it solely because you think it's funny on its own. Spıke ¬ 17:43 8-Dec-13
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