Hello, Tshell, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for n00bs:
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
While I do appreciate your attempts to add UnNews Articles, please try ahrder to use REAL news stories instead of ones you felt like making up. What you're doing right now is copying "The Onion" in style and form, and it'd be much better if you didn't.--Sir Flammable KUN (Na Naaaaa...) 01:47, 1 August 2006 (UTC)
Thanks for your contributions to UnNews. I have only one request: that you capitalize only the first word and proper nouns in UnUnews article titles. If I'm not making sense, check ouut the Help:How to write an UnNews article. Thanks in advance for your forced cooperation. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk)I am the dirt under your rollers 12:16, 17 August 2006 (UTC)
Again, good article this time, but could you please remember to capitalize only the first word and proper nouns in the title of the articles you submit? Thanks. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk)I am the dirt under your rollers 21:32, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
Thanks for your contributions to this article; my original version was a little too subtle dull, but I got sick of working on it and posted it to see what someone else could do with it, and I was surprisingly rewarded. I especially like the falafel bit.
By the way, looking over your past contributions, you seem to be a wizard with the funny pictures. I know I saw Lieberman give a wave that looked like a sieg hiel during his victorycession speech, but I can't find a pic anywhere, and I don't have the timevalid license for Photoshop talent to fake one--if you can do either, not only this article, but Self-hating Jew could definitely use it.
Again, thanks. --Falcotron 20:52, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
First, you'll want to make up a title. Let's say you picked "Uncyclopedian Writes UnNews Article." Browse to "UnNews:Uncyclopedian writes UnNews article" (make sure only the first word and proper names are capitalized and that the title is prefixed with "UnNews:").
and most especially the part where Item 1 says,
make sure only the first word and proper names are capitalized... .
Great additions. Thanks for punching it up. - Zaui⌘TALKMUN╬ - 19:28, 24 August 2006 (UTC)
edit Here's something you can put on your yet-to-be user page
UnNews Audio Ninjastar
For an impressive quantity and quality of UnNews contributions. Your character, wit and smarm have lulled the masses into a false sense of security. Nice job! –Rev_zim
I nearly spit my drink out of my mouth seeing that character! :) I was interested in what image editting software you are using to create the such clean images you provide. Thanks in advance should you provide me an answer. -[--Sir Severian (Sprich mit mir!) 03:56, 30 September 2006 (UTC)[User:MrEd|MrEd]] 20:11, 26 September 2006 (UTC)
I'll be needing your particulars, nationality and whatnot, so I can add you to the UnNews Team. Thanks for your contributions to our little act of sedition. Please, keep up the good work.
You do need to create a user page, unless Tshell is a sockpuppet (which I secretly suspect), so you can be properly recognised for the crap excellent stuff you seem to produce as if by magic, or demonic possesion, or something.
For writing more than one and less than 2.6 million quality UnNews articles. Your character, wit and smarm have lulled the masses and zim into a false sense of security. Nice job! –Rev_zim
Well ok, perhaps it was the sheer hilarity of that Micheal J. Fox article you wrote, but I must say that the animated gif of him was definitely the feather in the cap for that article, congratulations! --OliproAnchorKUN (Harass) 11:10, 28 October 2006 (UTC)
I just wrote Wolfgang Fuck and need some viz aid. I asked my homeboy User:Modusoperandi to do Wolfgang Puck's head on Augustus Gloop's body. I'd love it if you would read the article and if anything comes to mind...
many thanks
--Super90 09:41, 9 December 2006 (UTC)
Dude, the "Fuck Bucket" cracked me up. Seriously, seriously, funny.--Super90 21:39, 11 December 2006 (UTC)
"After the show was cancelled, Pinchot became dictator of Chile, where his night-roving death squads kidnapped and "disappeared" thousands of his political opponents." - I read this and laughed/choked. I'm at work. Now I'm in trouble. Damn. Perhaps some sort of warning would be wise in future!
I wouldn't bother you so much, but I've never even owned photo editing software, much less used it.
So, I'm doing an UnNews article on the "No-Fly" zone in Darfur and I need images of starving African kids, covered in flies.
Yum!
Yum!
Except, like, really, really big, flies, green ones, big as his head and like, two or three of them, whichever is funnier.
--Super90 08:45, 14 December 2006 (UTC)
Fantastic flyboy
Super90 Has Awarded You A Cherry Everybody Likes A Little Cherry
edit UnNews:Israel to be moved, "just not working out"
Santa Claus has given you some Socks for Christmas. As you can see, these socks are white and red, and they are modelled by Mrs. Claus. If you wish to complain about your Christmas present, do it here. Merry Christmas!
If you are another child that thinks they need a present, leave a message here (Santa never forgets, but he is getting on a bit.) Ho Ho Ho from Santa Claus 15:57, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
Composure1, writer of UnNews and humble servant of Uncyclopedia, sends personal greetings to
you [insert username here], on this festival for our glorious god Sol Invictus. While many heathen
have long abandoned our undefeated sun god, especially since Emperor Theodosius I banned
the holiday in the year 390, I know that you are a true believer like me. So I hope you are celebrating
with all the necessary debauchery and sacrifices, and I wish you the very best.
Orta recens quam pura nites Sol Invictus! --Composure1 19:01, 24 December 2006 (UTC)
If you have the time, I would love your help putting an image together: I need Dick Cheney's head on a rocket for an UnNews article I'm posting in few hours
I recorded the Indonesian earthquake article. I went a bit further with the bitter newsreader bit, and his producer, Jim, tries to get him to finish the article. I hope you like it... --ContestantCUN--VFHNotMBuzzCtrbs 21:37, 7 March 2007 (UTC) (oh, and if you don't, let me know.)