User talk:Tompkins/archive8

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Baaad Idea

Hi Tompkins...can you please huff this article? I wrote it very late last night and a) it is just plain unfunny and unrecoverable; b) the title of the song is actually simply 'Panic'. If you could leave the pic untouched that would be has potential for another article. Thx--Shandon 14:26, 13 July 2006 (UTC)

Heh, no problem, trust me, I've been there. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 16:28, 13 July 2006 (UTC)

Next time,

"Last Year", you (a male) erotically asphyxiated the last conductor of the gitten huffin' festival (and the first one ever), and you did it painfully. Next time, get a female to do it (to me, and anyone else in the festivals ahead), and don't let her squeeze my balls, k? Also, fasten a ligature on the neck region of the gurney (and rig it so pulling it down chokes the neck) so the asphyxiator can have more hands free. --The Great Gitten Huff of 1801 23:56, 13 July 2006 (UTC)


jeez just let articles stay, theres only like 17,000 as it is who cares if some dont apply to vrybody

--Alegoo92 05:15, 14 July 2006 (UTC)

Your page was blatant vanity and probably libel as well. I did you a favor. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 05:22, 14 July 2006 (UTC)

Thanks For The Welcome

IP Addresses are all good and great, but I figured it was time to go to the next level. In any case, thanks for the welcome.

One question, IYO, on Toilet Humor around here -- closer to "2000 Flushes" or "Projectile Diahrrea"? Random Guy With An IP Address Who Made An Account 04:30, 15 July 2006 (UTC)

Well, let's just say that a little poo goes along way. Most editors might frown on that stuff, but if it's intelligent enough, be my guest. Thanks for getting an account too, the more registered users the better. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 05:27, 15 July 2006 (UTC)

Article Question

Hi Tompkins, quick question about my new article UnNews:Phil Eats His Way Across North you think this belongs under UnNews, or should be in some other section? (I had the idea yesterday and spent the evening in an expensive restaurant fleshing it out with a friend.) Please don't say the article should be one of impeachment...thx--Shandon 21:31, 14 July 2006 (UTC)

Well, UnNews probably isn't the best place for this article, much too long. However, you're always welcome to keep it there if you'd like. If you were to move it, I might suggest UnBooks, a section that doesn't have alot of original content, and could definitely use an addition like this. Second to UnBooks would be the mainspace, about the only other thing we have around here. Granted, it's neither glitsy nor glamorous, but it welcomes new articles all the time. Obviously, if you decide to move it, you might want to reconsider the title. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 05:30, 15 July 2006 (UTC)
OK, I just couldn't think of a title or area for UnBooks. I'll try moving it there--I have written a few UnBooks this month & am having some success there. Thanks for the reply--Shandon 07:44, 15 July 2006 (UTC)
Yes, I noticed you wer nominated for "Author of the month." Heh, congrats! Two awards in one month, now that'd be something. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 03:20, 17 July 2006 (UTC)

Uhh, can you explain this Benson thing to me briefly? Just by reading his user page & some of the talk pages/forums I haven't been able to figure out what he did. Also, if you have a moment, what do you think of this? Thx--Shandon 02:07, 25 July 2006 (UTC)

Well, not much to say about Benson, it all started at Forum:BENSON IS HERE and then just kind of exploded from there. Pretty soon he had his own forum, an award, even the Benson society or whatever the hell it was called. Some people love him, some hate him, either way, you gotta admit, he sure has left an impression. As for the article, I love it, the opening image is great as well, even the the quality isn;t the best in the world. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 05:05, 25 July 2006 (UTC)
Howdy, what do you think of my images here?--Shandon 17:47, 27 July 2006 (UTC)
Haha, not bad. I especially like the Minas Tirith one. It also appears that you have a newer version of Google eartht then I do... </pout> Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 20:02, 27 July 2006 (UTC)
Thx, actually I took screenshots of LOTR games & maps and edited them for overlay on Google Earth screenshots. Then I had to put the compasses, copyrights, GME logos etc. all back in. I am quite happy with the curve of ME's edge on the full map one, which I stole from a Google Earth globe and edited for insertion onto the ME map. They took me all afternoon yesterday.--Shandon 20:07, 27 July 2006 (UTC)

*taps your back twice, you turn around...*


I keep coming back "every year", pal. How about you start making "pre-emptive" accounts to prevent me from coming back. Go ahead, try it! --The Great Gitten Huff of 1803 03:46, 15 July 2006 (UTC)

How 'bout you stop being a childish git, Huff?--Shandon 07:44, 15 July 2006 (UTC)
I wouldn't hold my breath on that one, Shandon. Maybe you could construct like a ballpit for him or something. Random Guy With An IP Address Who Made An Account 21:43, 15 July 2006 (UTC)

Same name

Hey, do you realise you got the same name as a Homestar Runner character?

Yeah, wow, that's weird... Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 17:25, 15 July 2006 (UTC)


Thanks. Maybe I should start on an article named The History of Kitten Huffing from how it was named in the past, to how these festivals went, and so on. (Of course, if anyone else who reads here suddenly feels like making it, feel free.) --Chomu 13:08, 16 July 2006 (UTC) Italic text


Sometimes being an ass has its perks.  :) Thanks.

You ruined a desc

MONGO 23:29, 31 July 2006 (UTC)


Hardmum Mrs. Fundlebuggy sends you a big pie and a warm welcome!

Thanks for nominating my son. These little gestures mean a lot to him and sometimes even stop him from setting fire to park benches.

Congrats on the award and cheers for the nomination. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 09:58, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

Thank you, and you're welcome. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 01:06, 2 August 2006 (UTC)


Hey Tompkins, I could sure use your help with ideas on illustrating this PLS entry-to-follow...I was thinking world stamps, but hey, that's kinda lame...--Shandon 05:26, 7 August 2006 (UTC)

I wish I had some, honestly, I haven't looked at the page for a few ays, and for all I know you already have some, but if you indeed are still missing some you migiht wanna just put something at Uncyclopedia:RadicalX's Corner, they'll do all the thinking for you! Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 01:02, 10 August 2006 (UTC)


I was banned a couple of days ago. I am not complaining. I am old enough to understand that if I get in trouble for something, I brought it upon myself. I suppose mainly that God was trying to tell me that he doesn't need defending, that he'll handle those who wrong him in his own way. So in one instance, thank you for the ban, it did give me some time to think.

However, I do not completely understand the nature of the ban. I come on here and I see page, after page, after page, of people defiling God and Christianity. I take out about 400 "There is no God" and add a "You Might Be An Atheist Fundamental". And I get banned.

I could not get in contact with anyone here, since I wasn't allowed to post, so I contacted the website administrator. I told them that I did not understnad the log and could they please help me understand (I said nothing about removing the ban, I just wanted to know if they could help me understand the log). The person wrote back. Here is what the reply read:

I will unblock you, but please contact Hinoa4 and/or Tompkins to discuss the reasons for being blocked, before making any other edits. It does look ambiguous to me.

Regards, Hal Davis Wikia Community and Technical Support Team Contact us at or

I cannot think of anything else that I did. If I wrote anything that was offensive, then I am deeply sorry. That was not my intention to write anything that was offensive. That is not who I am.

I thank you for your quick response



I blocked you because you vandalized several pages. If something offends you on uncyclopedia, don't change it to fit your belief system, just ignore it instead. As long as you follow this rule, you won't be blocked again. Remember, it's not just us that do this, at wikipedia. If someone vandalizes the Christian page with "GOD IS GAY!" they can revert the page and block whomever vandalized it, but they'd do the same if someone were to vandalize the Atheism page with "ATHEISTS WILL BE DAMNED TO HELL FOREVER!" I'm not saying you did either of these things, but I'm just trying to give you a little bit better of an explanation of your bannation.

Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 21:52, 7 August 2006 (UTC)

Okay, well thank you for responding. And Welcome back early.
P.S: Bannation, interesting word. I like it. The word has an odd quality to it.
Heh, it is indeed. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 01:02, 10 August 2006 (UTC)

Regarding your latest article, CHEAP WAY TO BIGGER UR SHORT & THIN D11CK

Thanks for experimenting with Uncyclopedia. Your alterations to the CHEAP WAY TO BIGGER UR SHORT & THIN D11CK article were indeed very informative, but I'm afraid we must huff them. This is because Uncyclopedia is a serious uncyclopedia, and shouldn't be corrupted by that sort of thing. However, you may be interested to know that there is a very similar wiki called Wikipedia that would welcome your comical contributions. This is because Wikipedia is a parody of Uncyclopedia, and welcomes comical content written in good taste. You are welcome to continue editing Uncyclopedia, however if you wish to submit comical content please do so at Wikipedia:Flying Spaghetti Monster instead. Thank you.
Way to sign your posts, jerk. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 04:57, 10 August 2006 (UTC)
You can't make me sign my posts! Nobody can!

Thanks for your edits

Hi there, Tompkins/archive8. Thanks for trying out the "Edit this page" feature that makes this site run. Your test has been, or at least will be, removed. I am providing a few links that will help you improve your edits.

If you have any questions or comments, leave a message on my talk page, or at the Village Dump. Thanks in advance for reading this, and I really hope you can contribute much more to Uncyclopedia. - Warning face 05:26, 10 August 2006 (UTC)

Yet another header of mine


J-man cola

This is the result of my photoshopping. Still have the psd though so can still change it about a bit. It's not as high quality as it could be either. I couldn't be bothered doing the 3-d stuff with the writing to make it fit onto the other bottles, but perhaps I'll do that some other time, if I get really bored. Warning face 08:19, 10 August 2006 (UTC)

Thanks! It's really great... cept for one thing. I hate to be nitpicky, but you did say you still have the psd, so could you move the "Jesus" up a bit, just so it's more center, or you could just send me the psd and I can do it myself. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 17:51, 10 August 2006 (UTC)
Ok, the psd is here. You might need the Loki Cola font for the text to display. Enjoy! Spang talk 18:34, 10 August 2006 (UTC)
I ended up just using that version because I'm lazy and upon further review I don't think I couldhave centered it any better. Anyway, here's the shirt [1]. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 20:17, 10 August 2006 (UTC)
Heh, it says I can't have that picture on the back because it's a trademark infringement. Ah well. Hopefully you'll actually get the shirt in the end, it looks good! Spang talk 05:36, 11 August 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, just saw that, I plan to just keep changing the name until I order it and hope it just slips by them... Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 05:37, 11 August 2006 (UTC)


I'm a bit confused. Sir Cornbread assures me that "Spang and Tompkins are two completely different admins," User:Tompkins redirects to User:Spang and User talk:Spang redirects to User talk:Tompkins, and you edit here under both names. Is this some inside joke that I'm not getting? --Falcotron 19:52, 12 August 2006 (UTC)

I CVP'd CHEAP WAY TO BIGGER UR SHORT & THIN D11CK, we got into a scuttle, made some compromises, a Jesus Cola, and here we are. It's best just to ignore it, trust me. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 23:13, 12 August 2006 (UTC)

Tompkins = Spang

Wow, so it was you I was shouting to for the nazi joke back in april... poor noob... had to do what the cabal told him to...

Anyway, did anyone know about you being the two users back then? If not, my congratulations for such a succesful game, I'm impressed. Who were the first ones to notice? When did they notice? When did you get out of the closet?---Asteroid B612B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 22:29, 24 August 2006 (UTC)

Hahahaha, I'll let Spang take this one, since he's pretty much taken over my userpage and since I'm too tired to actually contribute here much more. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 23:32, 24 August 2006 (UTC)
Sure. Dr. Tompkins and Mr. Spang.---Asteroid B612B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 23:56, 24 August 2006 (UTC)
Sorry for taking over your userpage, Dr. Tompkins. Though it is all your fault, if you'll remember correctly. You can put my talk page back any time you like, and I'l put your user page back! Yes, anyway. I realised I was tompkins not too long ago. I started responding when people shouted "tompkins!" in the street. I thought nothing of it at first, but I then thought it was something more deep-seated at work. It was around then that it occurred to me that although tompkins was my best friend, nobody ever saw us in the same place at any one time. Long story short, it was all down to my insomnia - whenever I thought I was sleeping, some other part of my brain took over and I became tompkins. And it turns out that I was running the fight club all along. Spang talk 01:19, 25 August 2006 (UTC)

A message that's actually for Tompkins

I missed my new messages box... so you can have your talk page back now! I'm still not archiving it though. Spang talk 16:12, 27 August 2006 (UTC)

And I'll move the messages for me back to my talk page. Because long talk pages are cool. Spang talk 16:14, 27 August 2006 (UTC)
Well, I'll miss all of the extra messages that I didn't have to answer, but I respect your decision. I'm not archiving it either though. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 16:44, 27 August 2006 (UTC)
Have you tried putting the date/time things after the sig template in the raw sig box in preferences, rather than in the sig template itself? Spang talk 01:24, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
I hate you. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 01:36, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
:D Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week. {{SUBST:User:Spang/I suck at sig templates}} 01:34, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
Yes, thank you too, I doubt I would've ever got it that way... Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 01:36, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
Any time. That'll be $75, by the way. I take cash, cheques, and all major credit cards. Spang talk 01:40, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
Here's half a Master Card, that should cover it :) Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 01:44, 31 August 2006 (UTC) 01:44, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
I charge double if the card is in half... But I'll take it. Pleasure doing business with you! Spang talk 01:46, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
Since I've never really delved into siggery beyond a passing shot or two, perhaps you two can spell out the obvious for me: Raw sigs checked, something like {{SUBST:nosubst|User:Famine/sig}} dropped into the box...but exactly how does one "put the time date things" after the sig template in the raw sig box? If I drop in something like ~~~~~ it automagically...diasppears when I hit save. I'm shooting for a time/date the same size/font as my name, as you might have guessed. And question b) any way to redefine the "click a sig" button above to not give me the leading "--", or do I just have to manually drop in my four tildes? Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 02:07, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
You'd put {{SUBST:nosubst|User:Famine/sig}} <small>{{CURRENTTIME}}, {{CURRENTDAY}} {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}} (UTC)</small> in the sig box with raw sigs checked. And then go here for a function to change what the sig dash puts in. It's possible to change them all with one function that's in my js already, but I'm not exactly sure which bits of that do what. Spang talk 02:16, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
Actually, that function I linked kinda sucked, so I just added the one I've got into your js. Next time you refresh your js, the sig button will (should) give you three tildes instead of four. Magic! Spang talk 02:34, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
Damn, what fine service. Another satisfied customer here. A++ Five stars. Fast shipping. Would buy again. Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 02:38, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
I strive to please. Unfortunately, due to the required outsourcing of javascript parts, that brings the cost of this service to... the soul of your firstborn child. If you could send the blood to seal the deal ASAP that'd be great. Spang talk 03:24, 31 August 2006 (UTC)

Does anyone on my talk page ever actually want to talk to me? Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 23:10, 31 August 2006 (UTC) 23:10, 31 August 2006 (UTC)

No. Spang - this is kind of awkward for me.....but Tompkins is my firstborn child. See him for blood and/or souls.
Hey! I'm not paying anyway, since I just realized that my sig button produces {{User:Spang/Sig}} when I push it. What kind of ripoff is this, anyway? Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 23:15, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
What would you like to talk about? Did you manage to get that t-shirt made in the end? Famine - Hey, what's wrong with a bit of product branding? Fixed it now though. Forgot to put nowiki tags in, so it changed my tildes into my sig when I saved. Incidentally it's possible now to change the function of any of those buttons, perhaps to more useful things. I once had a button that would blank the page. Never got to use it though. That'll be an extra two souls, please. Spang talk 23:30, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
Nah, damn metacafe... I'm currently investigating other options. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 01:02, 1 September 2006 (UTC) 01:02, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
Souls are on their way. Overall, very nice work. I'm suitably impressed. I'd say that your reputation proceeds you, but it doesn't. We'll have to work on that. And who is this schmuck who keeps interrupting us? He acts like he owns this page or something. Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 02:36, 1 September 2006 (UTC)

Where is the discussion?

There was a discussion on nomination of the article You Know Who on the Uncyclopedia:VFH page, but I can't find it anymore. Any idea what happened? Aditya Kabir 14:57, 10 September 2006 (UTC)

Thank You ^_^

Chickenbox2.0 THANK YOU

Thank you for supporting my image on the VFP
In Soviet Russia, Image supports YOU!!''
You Are A True Comrade
~Premier Tom Mayfair

Hammer and sickle
Chickenbox2.0 This user raises their own chickenbox.

The userbox can be editted to your choice if you decide to us it. Again, Thank You ^_^ SpacerSpacerPremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 00:02, 4 November 2006 (UTC)

Super Belated Thank You

Well, I got sucked away into non-web endeavours so subsequently missed out on spamming my special thank you template on the talk pages of all those who voted for me for WOTM. And to do that now would just be silly, well over a month after the fact. But I did still want to thank you for the nomination. It really meant a lot to me and it surprisingly scored me some top-notch tail. Well, I still had to pay for it, but that hooker sure seemed genuinely impressed by my huge WOTM template. I think she gave me the clap, but at least my ego is sufficiently massaged. Thanks. -- Imrealized ...hmm? 10:02, 10 November 2006 (UTC)

Hey you ass!

please stop deleting the article Im trying to create! Youre giving me no time to even get near to completing it! Billybobjimmy

Its the Siamese twin cities one. sorry. I just got kind of angry.

What the hell do you have against TK-421? Dudtz 11/14/06 7:16 PM ET

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