User talk:Tompkins/archive6

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I need your assistance

Tompkins, will you please do me a favor and ban this user? The reason: he vandalized my user page and said (gasp) Uncyclopedia was "gay". Here's the evidence...[1], and more evidence of vandalism here: [2]. Thanks in advance... Sir C Icons-flag-us Holla | CUN --02:21, 3 July 2006 (UTC)

Done... I think I gave him 3 days... maybe a week... Idk. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 02:25, 3 July 2006 (UTC)
Thanks, that was quick and painless. Sir C Icons-flag-us Holla | CUN --02:27, 3 July 2006 (UTC)

Was that a For?

Thanks for the vote of confidence... wait, that's not the right word :P

What are you talking about? I voted confidently. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 00:46, 1 July 2006 (UTC)


Thanks for the introductory message after I wrote Exaggeration - I've written a couple more since then and am thoroughly enjoying it thankyou!. All the best, TheMono 06:42, 21 June 2006 (UTC)


I have had complaints about your egregious abuse of admin powers, so have removed your adminship as a precaution. I hope you still enjoy being an Uncyclopedian despite this loss of status. Angela 16:44, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

Thankyou for motivating me to write the Machinist article in more detail. Nice 7 day warning. I thought i would get away with just a picture idea that i havent figured out how to post, but nooooo.... i have to expand the article. Anyway, I've removed the red stamp and if you can help me post a pic on the site do so please, or i'll report you for abuse of your DM powers in-game.zeno 19:38, 20 June 2006 (UTC) Have a nice day! Trying to insert some Clinja action into the article of course.zeno
Thanks for your help on Machinist! I was hoping to arrange two pics side by side like the Green Day example on shit music. A Before and After Pic... The Bale Machinist pic you found is the one i wanted to use. If you could help put the image on the page,,, i will honour you with one wish,,, of any kind...zeno 07:54, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
Yeah i liked the placements of all the pics and just seeing the code on how to do it is enough for me to do more... Just one thing... I'm gonna try to put Bale_In_Posse.jpg (32KB, MIME type: image/jpeg) at the top with caption maybe "A Cave Man Machinist defending the Herd"... Thanks soo much for your time... You've been enormous help.zeno 09:00, 21 June 2006 (UTC)

I have a few questions, but don't feel like I should ask them... maybe you could msg me on IRC.. I'm on most of the day usually. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 18:17, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

Best Wishes

Tompkins.....sorry about the news, hope you stick around, and join us in IRC too..... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

So Tompkins, it's come to my attention that you're no longer an admin! Anyways, since you got rid of the ban on me when I asked politely, I'll let it drop, although from the looks of it, maybe I got lucky! Rivselis 17:12, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

Yes, yes, of course... I'll stay around for awhile... maybe. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 18:16, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

Is it just me?

Maybe I'm way off saying this, but the votes on Decapitation Disease seem suspicious. I don't think we've ever talked, but I wanted your opinion on it. Nice to meet you by the way.--2nd Lt. Claudius Prime 17:09, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

Hmm... donno... it's slightly suspicious, and I think most of the voters appear to know eachother, but since they're all active contributors, all the votes are valid. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 18:15, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
2 of us do (know author), the others are just random sand people. Creepy. Demonbob 00:43, 7 June 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, you better watch out for those sand men... they've been known to show up under people's beds... Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 00:55, 7 June 2006 (UTC)
I just can't remember the last time I saw so many people I've never seen before vote for the same article, thanks for the response sir.--2nd Lt. Claudius Prime 14:13, 7 June 2006 (UTC)
My pleasure, lieutenant. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 16:13, 7 June 2006 (UTC)


“Yeah, I got a couple of emails from that guy you banned for 2 weeks”
~ User:Codeine on The Great Tompkins Wind-Up Of 2006

Sorry mate, couldn't resist joining in with the fun. But you have to admit, that was a killer move by RC. Glad to have you back on the team again. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 21:47, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

What a day on 6/6/6, eh?--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 04:31, 7 June 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, I'm just waiting to die. My firend says that it'll happen tommorow, because everyone will be all like "Oh! We didn;t Die!" and then God will take us by surrise. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites

league of benson


you're in the league! Benson 12:17, 8 June 2006 (UTC)

I'm in the league? I'm in the league?! OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I'M IN THE LEAGUE!!! I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!!! Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 16:58, 8 June 2006 (UTC)



I'm sorry... You go ahead. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 06:07, 10 June 2006 (UTC)


Tomkins is most l33t. However, I improved my article, took off the NRV, and placed a Construction. Hope you don't mind.Sir Àrd-Easbaig Gearcemeanaigh Mac Ádhaimh, UmP (Talk - Articles) Icons-flag-ie-Icons-flag-us KUN SEXY WH

Ban from voting

If somebody votes in the UK General Election for the Monster Raving Loony Party, are they banned from ever voting again? It you really did take this seriously then you should realise that my votes neither affect the outcome or are against the rules. You do not have any valid reason to place this ban, as such, you are simply doing it because somebody gets under your skin a little, which isn't really a proper reason to ban someone from voting. I'm entitled to my vote, whether I want to waste it or not, that should be my decision and my decision only. You probably only did it because I voted for your opponent in WotM. I'm not really in a position to say this, but in a way I am - grow up! If you can't put up with somebody, you are not in a position to be an admin. -- Boothman 09:53, 11 June 2006 (UTC).

I believe Rataube said it best here:
Uncy maxims: 1. Be funny and 2 Don´t be a dick. You accomplish neither of them.--Rataube 15:45, 26 May 2006 (UTC)
You're not paying Uncyc's taxes. You're not "entitled" to anything. —rc (t) 14:54, 11 June 2006 (UTC)
Well then neither is anybody - and therefore admins should have no more "power" than the rest of tripe on here. And those "Uncy maxims" are exactly that, maxims. -- Boothman 18:31, 11 June 2006 (UTC).
*tries to maintain composure... for the children!* Boothman, you've had numerous warnings about your voting behavior. Yes, there's freedom of choice, but that only goes so far when you use it simply to harm other people with little backing. It's because of this that we had this incident. Saying that whether you want to waste your vote is up to you is all fine and dandy, but a bit (only a bit, mind you) like saying you want to waste your throwing axes and it's up to you where you want to waste them. Even if the outcome is small, it has an outcome, and in early voting stages, that can be crippling (which I've noticed is where you commonly vote Against).
If you can't put up with somebody, you are not in a position to be an admin.
Okay, that made me chuckle a bit. Admins are designed to not put up with things. As they are the closest a wiki has to lawkeepers, you should respect them. They don't pay Uncyclopedia's taxes, but they do keep it running better than any other user which is what taxes are all about.
Right, I've spoken my mind. Either accept it or bring on the slander. I'm sure you know which one is the real answer. --Kalir, Novice Burninator (offer instruction) 18:42, 11 June 2006 (UTC)
No, freedom of choice goes all the way, and if it doesn't, it's not freedom is it? And I'm not *harming* anybody am I? Throwing axes can hardly be compared to voting "against" somebody in a meaningless award poll on a supposedly satirical website, can it? You all take this too seriously. I only started playing about with my votes because of Zombiebaron's hilarious reaction to an against vote which was in a poll with only one entrant. It's not really an award if you don't beat anyone now is it? And if I truly wanted to vote I could always make different accounts with different IP addresses and really fuck things up. Be glad that I don't, and reinstate my motherfuckin' votes, motherbastards. -- Boothman 18:59, 11 June 2006 (UTC).
Mr. Boothman, I can sort of empathize with what you're experiencing here, but I'm afraid you might have to show a bit more empathy yourself. It's true that for some of us the awards are meaningless and silly. But for others, they might just be the one bright spot in an otherwise dull and frustrating existence. You just have to respect that some people really enjoy and appreciate these things, and try not look down on them for it, at least not publicly. All in all, the admins here do a fantastic job of keeping things running smoothly, freedom or no freedom, rules or no rules — but their success almost always depends on the rest of us too, for maintaining an atmosphere of mutual respect, even if we seriously disagree on things occasionally or get angry over various misunderstandings and disputes. Like I say, for some of us it's hard to accept all that, but you just have to try, for the good of all. If you can do that, you'll do just fine. I actually like your material, btw - it could use some more polish here and there, but if you stick around and work things out, the rest of us might just help you achieve that, and more besides, and you'll be the better for it. Trust me! Anyway, sorry to butt in - couldn't help myself, I guess.  c • > • cunwapquc? 19:43, 11 June 2006 (UTC)
To extend your metaphor, Boothman, if you had publicly declared that one of the candidates in a UK general election was a fudge packer they could have sued you into the ground. Such is the consequence of exercising your "freedoms" at random in the real world. It's also not possible to retract votes or vote twice. Whining about freedom as if it doesn't come with responsabilities, claiming that no harm was done on behalf of everyone you tried it on with, and then hoping that "satire" let's you off the hook is disingenuous. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 02:27, 12 June 2006 (UTC)
Now you're just trolling. If you're continually annoying and disruptive on a voting page, we'll ban you per maxim #1 above. It's really very simple. —rc (t) 03:04, 12 June 2006 (UTC)

User talk:Apples

I have not laughed that hard in awhile. If you haven't seen his responses to your poll, please check them out. Amazing...really. If they are true, it explains a great deal. The formatting is particularly impressive... Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 01:38, 12 June 2006 (UTC)


Where have you been? There are articles to delete but nobody can! COME TO UNMETA AND DELETE ALL OF THE QVFD'D ARTICLES FOR GOD'S SAKE THEY NEED TO BE BURNED!!!!!!!!!!! ~ Ghelæ the Excessivetalkcontribs 14:32, 12 June 2006 (UTC)

Good, but now there's more. And there probably will be the day after that... and that... and that... ~ Ghelæ talkcontribs 08:13, 13 June 2006 (UTC)

I like to prance about with a n00b of the month award

Pointing out the comment you left on me talk page. Cheers for the compliment, i've been trying now and then to contribute a little sump'n sump'n to try and sell myself. Incest has resulted in this, but like anything resulting from Incest, it's one ugly baby. Got like, a week left or summat, and i'd probably have a chance at NotM, but Usewho'sname looks quite intimidating, do i still have a chance? User:Gnu32/sig18:48, 13 June 2006 (UTC)


I didnt know that u had deleted it. Happysmileman 19:33, 15 June 2006 (UTC)

QFP Comment

Thanks for the message. I was initially planning on simply getting all of the images into one place, but I'll start sorting them right away -JBob 21:26, 16 June 2006 (UTC)

As promised, here are your Points

-- Wicked sig cScott (talklog) KUN PIE NS FP 08:58, 18 June 2006 (UTC)

Reverting the archive

I'm sorry for trying to tell you how to do your job. When I was reverting Suresh's changes to Uncyclopedia:Pages for deletion/archive38, he was the last editor. I didn't look at the edit history again and I saw that Suresh accidentally added a vote and removed it while changing the formatting. There wasn't an edit conflict because I was alredy using an old version of the page. I also thought you would use talk pages for communication.

I was using the archive to find pages where users forgot to remove the {{vfd}} tags. --Sbluen 05:32, 19 June 2006 (UTC)


Well, that is your discretion. I had called it because 1: it was at the bottom of a list on VFD exceeding 25 articles 2: I had been informed that deletion was at -6, and 3: it did not appear the article would reach -6 votes. It had been up for several days, during which many other articles nominated after it had hit six kill votes.

~AxeiconCaputosistheHorribleAxeicon15:16, 19 June 2006 (UTC)

Don't bother. It actually was pretty bad... ~AxeiconCaputosistheHorribleAxeicon12:50, 20 June 2006 (UTC)

User:Todd Lyons

Rene, I love Rene

Uhh...why did you so immediately Huff Rene Levesque? Do you not know about Canadian culture? I have been online 20 minutes & I find your deletion very odd...& I would have added to it tomorrow. Are you an American? "Dude, I just don't think you're funny" is acceptable.--Shandon 05:44, 22 June 2006 (UTC) 'sCool, I'm a big boy (though not fat) & love the idea of the United States...I can deal wi'it...have no fear, you will not be accessory to a reeeaaally baaaade Rene Levesque article. (Note, Rene was the Best of the Best when it came to Hey Man, Give Me My Mone debates.) I am in BC and I love the man. Have you seen his ratty-esque (he must be an Esquire) demeanor? Rene Rocks. Thanks for your thoughtful activity, & I will look at your page in the future.--Shandon 05:56, 22 June 2006 (UTC) 'not Shockin; appreciate the attention to my stupid articles.--Shandon 06:05, 22 June 2006 (UTC) Thanks for deleting the articles, I try to be intelligent etc. but I am vulnerable to slagging...hmmm he seems to be a good guy but anyway thanks for doing the work.--Shandon 06:16, 22 June 2006 (UTC)

OK it's done now...look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair. Or have another cold one.--Shandon 19:55, 22 June 2006 (UTC)

Quick Deletion

May I ask why you immediately removed the Colin Alber article? It didn't even have a vote for deletion. --Zophar1 20:38, 22 June 2006 (UTC)

Ok, I won't argue with that. Colin Alber isn't know to most, but he is known to many. However, if you would restore it to my userspace, that would be appreciated. Thanks--Zophar1 21:25, 23 June 2006 (UTC)


OMG WHAT DID YOU DO TO TEH VFP!?! [3] --Spin 00:42, 23 June 2006 (UTC)

I would ban him, but I have no idea WTF I'm banning him for with that edit. I mean, what the fuck happened there? I can see the diff, but it truly makes no real sense. God, someone should revoke his admin powers....Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 02:10, 23 June 2006 (UTC)
Heh, I think I must've like... edited an old revision... or something. I was just trying to undo Stm's edit, but, I don't know... it didn't go as planned. Anyway, I think it's fixed now... mostly, and I got rid of Stm's edit. Oh, and the admin thing... been there, done that. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 02:12, 23 June 2006 (UTC)
Famine is anal. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 02:25, 23 June 2006 (UTC)

Revertion of 4004BC

WTF? Why?

Aaadddaaammm 03:18, 25 June 2006 (UTC)

OK: 1. You're quite right that 2004 was a typo. 2. Copying it from my page... um... yes that's right... I began writing it there. 3. It's not really about an event that happened in 4004BC, so would you have any problems with it being filed under "biblical chronology"?

Aaadddaaammm 03:35, 25 June 2006 (UTC)

Great - thank you. I'll adapt it a bit so it's better targetted to its new name. I'm not trying to pick a fight, but, next time it would be great if you at least put a comment in the discussion page or something before (or even after) reverting it.

Aaadddaaammm 03:41, 25 June 2006 (UTC)


For the Welcome Brian New Zealand 08:38, 25 June 2006 (UTC)

Haha, no problem, just doing my job... and being a slut. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 08:40, 25 June 2006 (UTC)


So apparently you're a fag now. How does it feel to be in the UnNews, and to be the subject of such shocking allegations by an iPeon?--SarinZero (blabber) 19:51, 25 June 2006 (UTC)

This sort of thing is why I love this site so much. Kudos for a fantastic bit of work on everyone's part. What a great news article to start my morning with. Well, in conjunction with the history and the ban log...;) Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 13:17, 27 June 2006 (UTC)
Ditto that, Famine. I get more yuks outta the ban log than I do most articles. VFH!! --The King In Yellow (Talk to the Dalek.) 13:21, 27 June 2006 (UTC)
Nothing like an anon Ip trying insult your manhood... too bad I'm not a woman... Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 20:31, 27 June 2006 (UTC)


Hello. Any particular reason why you huffed Chopsticks (music)? I thought it was quite good (but then I would, wouldn't I?!) --RobertG (talk) 11:03, 27 June 2006 (UTC)

It was far too short, and you hadn't tagged it with say, a {{construction}} template to indicate you would finish it later. I like the idea, so I resurrected it. Make it a page, add an image or two, and you'll be golden. Let it sit and rot, and one of us will delete it again.
The article is pretty well written so far, and the premise is good. Make it shine! Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 13:13, 27 June 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, uhh.... what he said. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 20:31, 27 June 2006 (UTC)


Hey, sorry to complain like this but I finished writing something on Farmers last night. Was editing it this morning to find i've been banned for "This Is Your BLOCK! LOL"

I don't quite know what i've done


Hey, sorry to complain like this but I finished writing a Farmer article last night. Was editing it this morning to find i've been banned for "This Is Your BLOCK! LOL"

I don't quite know what i've done --Tuco 08:19, 28 June 2006 (UTC)

(sorry I couldn't edit the previous post)

Thanks For The Welcome

Thanks for the welcome to Uncyclopedia! I've been here for a few months now, with bursts of activity being separated by long periods of inactivity.

I've only actually written one article so far (all but the first line of Chinese Democracy), but I have felt the need to "constructively tinker" with a few others... and someday I may even write something more!! --Reticence 15:24, 28 June 2006 (UTC)


Though I had to vote for you to balance it out... really, I think it's a case of you being more deserving, but me wanting it more.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 03:42, 29 June 2006 (UTC)

Heh, I'm not deserving. Maybe I would've been a month ago, but really... I just haven't had the motivation to write anything anymore. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 03:56, 29 June 2006 (UTC)
In that case... get off your lazy bum and write something so I can nom you next month, you bum!--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 04:08, 29 June 2006 (UTC)
I don't wanna... I have like, other stuff that I need to do... and sleep. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 04:51, 29 June 2006 (UTC)



Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee, Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal Puff, And brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff. Oh Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee, Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee. Together they would travel on a boat with billowed sail Jackie kept a lookout perched on Puff's gigantic tail, Noble kings and princes would bow whene'er they came, Pirate ships would lower their flags when Puff roared out his name. Oh! Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee, Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee. A dragon lives forever but not so little boys Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys. One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more And Puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar. His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain,Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane. Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave, So Puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave. Oh! Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee, Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee.


Thanks for fixing my /sig. I didn't even notice that I'd messed it up, when I converted it to use the template. -- Wicked sig cScott (talklog) KUN PIE NS FP 22:01, 30 June 2006 (UTC)

Heh, no problem, I just noticed it on the NotM page and figured it was a mistake. Admittedly, I haven't seen that one before, usually someone forget a </span> or something. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 22:04, 30 June 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, I actually cut and pasted it from where I was testing, and didn't realise that I brought a cr/lf along with it. What a n00b! :) -- Wicked sig cScott (talklog) KUN PIE NS FP 22:10, 30 June 2006 (UTC)


If you're not going to delete Sutpid, can you at least get it of the deadend pages. That page helps me find vandalism and badly formatted articles. You can get the page off by expanding and adding links or by simply using the {{deadend2}} template. --Sbluen 02:11, 3 July 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, yeah, okay. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 02:13, 3 July 2006 (UTC)


Hi, any chance you could have a glance @ my articles & see if I'm worth nominating? Thanks...--Shandon 19:00, 3 July 2006 (UTC)Shandon Thanks, I appreciate the nom. Makes me feel like someone is actually reading what I write.--Shandon 19:29, 3 July 2006 (UTC)

Haha, well, alot of people read what you wrote... I was asking everyone's opinion on IRC. They seemed to enjoy them... Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 19:37, 3 July 2006 (UTC)

Converting tables

I tried to convert all the tables that I found. I couldn't convert these pages because they were protected.

When I tried to convert this, it didn't work.

--Sbluen 04:23, 4 July 2006 (UTC)

Gots em, well, the ones that worked... Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 05:23, 4 July 2006 (UTC)

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