User talk:Tom mayfair/Archives2

Talk Page Archives:
☭	$	1	2	3	4	X

Tayor

Thank yoooou!!!!! very sweet! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!)

Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum viditur

Ad perpetuam memoriam de Sol Invictus

Composure1, writer of UnNews and humble servant of Uncyclopedia, sends personal greetings to you [insert username here], on this festival for our glorious god Sol Invictus. While many heathen have long abandoned our undefeated sun god, especially since Emperor Theodosius I banned the holiday in the year 390, I know that you are a true believer like me. So I hope you are celebrating with all the necessary debauchery and sacrifices, and I wish you the very best. Orta recens quam pura nites Sol Invictus! --Composure1 19:04, 24 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks

THIS USER VOTES WISELY They voted for me. And I didn't even have to bribe them. UotM -- Braydie

And for the Nomination. Even though Brad had it won from the beginning. Thanks, I really appreciate it. --—Braydie 17:45, 24 December 2006 (UTC)

Random comment

hey tom, some one vandalized the mario article —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Dark jedi ben (talk • contribs)

A Reminder

Get with the schedule! The USSR has been non-existent since 1991, and even before that it was not communist but low-grade socialist. USSR, get it? Communism ☭ doesn't exist and it never has. Wake up to reality! Cheers, --QXZ 00:01, 16 December 2006 (UTC)

Denial is always the first sign. Next you will say that Wal★Mart is the almighty saviour of Capitalism when in fact it is owned and ran by Communist China. Not to mention that The United States of America has reopened trade with Communist Vietnam and will offically enter into the WTO this month. North Korea has nukes. Cuba makes some damn good cigars. And even the non-existant Союз Советских Социалистических Республик is killing it's very own former KGB spies though under the rightist hand of imperial capitalism. Communism is alive and well, my little comrade. The dawning of a new revolution is nigh. Put that on your little schedule that I don't seem to get with. пожелание спокойной ночи 01:13, 16 December 2006 (UTC)

Oops, so sorry I forgot that facts are not meant to be typed into Uncyclopedia. Я умею по-русски говорить too, you know. I am not denying the dawning of a new revolution is nigh (I mean, who can see into the future?) - nor am I whinging (Australian slang for "complaining") about it either. I'm just saying communism ain't just about cigars, nukes, secret agents and yeh. You have nukes in America. You have secret agents (e.g. 007) in England. You can buy a decent cigar even in Australia, where I am now (poor me!). Communism is about the workers uniting to fight against the common evil for the common good. You don't achieve that with cigars! Instead, your best bet is to set some grues on the capitalists. Good luck with that. --QXZ 00:41, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

P.S. I don't even have a "little schedule." The schedule I'm referring to is the facts which Uncyclopedia seems to hate big-time. Also, "denial is the first sign" of what?

"Communism ☭ doesn't exist and it never has." That was the denial. Plus, I know it's all about the workers, hence, пожелание спокойной ночи; Workers of the World Unite. 00:51, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

I know very well what my denial was. My question was, what is the denial always the first sign of?

PS. You're right, capitalism sucks. I experience it every day, which is why I have such a miserable existence. I hate money, too.

PPS. Another way to defeat the capitalists is to chuck a Communist Pie in their face (if the grues don't work).

PPPS. No more post-scripts! YAHOO!--QXZ 04:08, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

PPPPS. This here is my response to your warm welcome:

G'day, mate!* Hello. Thankyou for welcoming me to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for ripping off capitalism & yeh. I hope you like my contributions, though this is highly unlikely. Visit my idiotic pages including User:QXZ, exfernophomenaquintification and Rubbisch. Sincerely, --QXZ 04:33, 18 December 2006 (UTC) * The User That You have Welcomed Is NOT A Capitalist. However, This Is A Capitalist Website. All Your Workers Are Belong To Us!

--QXZ 04:56, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

DDR

I need to get in on this Communism thing a bit, East Germany is quite interesting for me. Sir Severian (Sprich mit mir!) 01:32, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

By what on Earth do you mean? 01:37, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

Thank you premier Tom Mayfair

Thanks for the greeting, very red, like tomato soup. but anyway, very n00bish, which sickens myself, and all that is holy. I feel in need of direction, and am looking for advice. i edit from work (gov't compy shhhhhhh...) so i can't use IRC, so insteaed, i decide to leave messages for people until they decide to stab me in the face with a soldering iron. oh yeah, like the red btw. the military is like communism, but it works through fear... fear of getting locked up, or a dishonorable discharge, or no future with contact of anyone you know... ok, i'll stop. But i wouldn't be here if i weren't afraid of my employer!!!! {Chazz 03:47, 14 December 2006 (UTC)}

I take it that your employer is a capitalist scumbag of a company. Fear not, their empire will crumble. And lay off the caffeine, you're making me nervous... and that says a damn lot. 05:37, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

OK, so maybe i do work for the USAF, and well, its all good, an i am talking to my doctor about my addiction to caffiene, we usually sit down and discuss my issue over a double mocha latte. some espresso is good too!!! { Chucks220 00:58, 18 December 2006 (UTC)} Um, i didn't Haxx0r your name, sig, just using it as a template...

Vanity Question

Hey tom, how was my last contribution vanity? can you please explain that?

If Codeine's mum has never heard of you, then it is vanity. Plus, I wasn't the judge behind the ruling for I am not an administrator. I was just letting you know personally. 20:17, 13 December 2006 (UTC)

Chickenbox

Umm, Tom, I thought it would be a nice idea if that the chickenbox image (I know you made this) that appears in russian reversal was photoshopped so that the KFC icon on it was replaced with this: (I wouldn't be surprised if you made this image too)

If you don't buy their chicken, you might end up "dissappearing"

--Shas'O'my'gosh 08:32, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks, Comrade!

Two N00bish questions

First off, how do you make your signature all fancy (color text, moving images, changing font size, etc...)? And secondly: Does everybody get that "Member of the Order of Uncyclopedia" thing? Oh, and also, thank you for welcoming me! If I ever do succeed in having Michigan seceede from the US, you shall be the one person I do not nuke. DarthMichigan 18:25, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

Go here: Click here or this click here. You can always look at people's sigs to see how it's done. Here's mine: User:Tom mayfair/sig. Go to this link to create it: User:DarthMichigan/sig. I hand out the MOOU to registered users. Not everyone gets one but it's their right to have one. I'm in Kentuckistan and mind the jet stream when you're nukin' the country. It likes to pass overhead a lot. ^_^ 18:56, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

Question

Why do you use those ^_^ faces all the time? --AAA! (AAAA) 09:08, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

It represents when I have tooken my medication. ^_^ 09:22, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

Caffeine, no doubt... --AAA! (AAAA) 11:20, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

Paxil actually. ^_^ 18:54, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

On the subject of medication, I turned communist when I started taking it.--Shas'O'my'gosh 06:53, 16 December 2006 (UTC)

Me too 13:53, 16 December 2006 (UTC)

Mostlinked

You know that guy you wanted to stay ahead of, well by my count your 300 up. --—Braydie 18:57, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

Awesome Thanks for helping. ^_^ 18:59, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

Heh, no problem. I'm pretty sure it's 1909 to 1611. ;) --—Braydie 19:00, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

How in the hell did you figure it out without an update? ^_^ 19:05, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

Using popups: Hover over user page link -->Actions-->What links here. Then by changing the amount it shows. --—Braydie 19:10, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

Cool, never noticed that till now. This popup shite rocks. ^_^ 19:12, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

It sure is, I put mine back on. =D --—Braydie 19:19, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

IRC

Hi how do I get on teh Uncyc IRC? -Kempdags 02:08, 12 December 2006 (UTC) Also, who's 'is BENSON bloke? -Kempdags 02:09, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

Click Here, Make a user name, preferably the one on here & you're in. BENSON is a wannabe god. He got banned for a month for creating false accounts to vote for his material. 02:12, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks (again)

Braydie has awarded you some sweets! For voting for HowTo:Cheat At Scrabble

Thanks for supporting me/one of my articles again. Much appreciated.--—Braydie 17:04, 13 December 2006 (UTC)

Antarctica

Hello again, Tom. I have some n00bery to send your way. I just finished rewriting an article in the rewrites section- "Antarctic". Upon investigating, I see there is already an article entitled "Antarctica", and an article entitled "Empire of Antarctica". Both are about mythical countries in the Antarctic. In particular, the "Antarctica" article is mainly about "The Democratic Penguin's Republic of Antarctica," however it is linked to the "Continents of Earth" template.

As my article is about the continent and its history, I think my article "Antarctic" should replace "Antarctica" in the continents template. The easiest way to do that is to switch the names of the articles around. How do I do that? YouFang

It took me a few tries but it is now in Antarctica. 19:45, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

Wow! Thanks, for doing that so fast, comerade! How'd you do that? YouFang

A volley of creating a new article, redirects, and moving is all. 20:04, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

→

I pity the fool that wrote this crap. I needs to be deleted. It has no redeeming value.--Metropolis 14:12, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

About your red version of Captain Obvious

Please keep it as the blue version. That what he's supposed to look like, according to Wikipedia and the places of the original images. Technically, making him red is like adding an 8th day to the week. --AAA! (AAAA) 05:20, 20 December 2006 (UTC)

Meh 23:11, 21 December 2006 (UTC)

I talked with users in the IRC. They think it would be better if his colours were black & white. I will work on that tomorrow possibly or within the next week. 01:29, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

commie website

You should see http://www.communism.com - they have a clear explanation why communism doesn't exist yet (just scroll down the page a bit). --QXZ 19:43, 21 December 2006 (UTC)

Exception: A form of primitive communism existed within primitive communal societies in prehistoric times. 23:19, 21 December 2006 (UTC)

Goatse ninjastar

Because you wanted one so bad. -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 01:44, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

You get two. Be happy! -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 02:02, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

Uhh...

User talk:Tom mayfair is gay: Didn't you even look? --AAA! (AAAA) 11:28, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, I saw it. It didn't bother me. Whoever it was was half right. 17:46, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

There's nothing that gives it away in that cool sig of yours....its as manly and hetero as they come! -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Message from the person who got you unblocked from meta wiki

I am just dropping by to say hello and tell you I am now a member of Uncyclopedia. Have you been re-blocked by motherfu...I mean sysops there yet.Sir james paul

Welcome abroad, comrade. No, I haven't been re-blocked yet. Give it time though. I have faith in them. So how do you like it here? I hope you enjoy contributing here. 09:50, 24 December 2006 (UTC)

--Sir james paul 21:36, 26 December 2006 (UTC)== Association of Members' for Reform ==

Association of Members' for Reform is a group of editors from various wikimedia and wikia projects that will try to bring about reform to make the project they are in more fair. We will also offer support for those who are unjustly blocked and will all work together to get them unblocked. The leadership will be President(Me), Vice President, Council, and the presidents of the different chapters. Uncyclopedia, wikipedia, wikiquote, wiktionary, meta-wiki, simple wikipedia, and wikia will all have a chapter. I am wondering if you will be president of the Uncyclopedia chpter of Association of Members' for Reform. Just to let you know we may have a wiki on wikia. Get back to me ASAP please or you will not get the job. Happy new year. --Sir james paul 20:14, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Sure. 20:16, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

You'll have to link me to areas of the Association so I can read up on shite. 20:19, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

• Can you please leave messages on my talk page. Thanks. Also we do not have a site yet. We will soon.Sir james paul 20:21, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

I Do you know how to set up IRC's? I would like to set up a main IRC for Association of Members' for Reform and a IRC for each chapter of Association of Members' for Reform. The IRC's is where we will have meantings and stuff. --Sir james paul 20:32, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Here[1] is our site for now. It will be our site until we get a Wikia site. It is better than nothing. Peace. --Sir james paul 21:36, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Our site is now http://editthis.info/amr/Main_Page. When you make a account put your name under president of Uncyclopedia. Sir james paul 01:40, 27 December 2006 (UTC)

randome coment #2

...sorry dude i just dont realy chek my "my talk" so yeah i just got your 2 messages now..and its the 26th so yeah...i guess i should chek them regularly Nick The Expertt ...P.S how do you make a template?

Per Yngve Ohlin

Mr.Briggs vandalized my page on Per Yngve Ohlin by changing his nickname from "Dead" to "Fred". M'haill then proceeded to huff that page before I could correct the vandalism. I would like to reopen the file, if that were possible. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Cronos12390 (talk • contribs)

Sign your Comments Please. I don't have control over huffin' stuff & unhuffin' stuff. 02:44, 28 December 2006 (UTC)

ok sorry didn't know about that or the signing thing. Cronos 12390 (my sig doesnt have my name in it)

Thanks

thankyou for your testimony, a butler will be rond shortly with tea and biscuits to thank you for your custum.--Sir Silent Penguin "your site makes no sence" The illusion is complete 21:54, 28 December 2006 (UTC)

Dear Tom,

Thank You for leaving that gigantic red box on my talk page. It nearly burned the eyes right out of my friggi'n skull. I greatly appreciate it.--NightDragon 09:44, 29 December 2006 (UTC)

Your Welcome. 09:59, 29 December 2006 (UTC)

Hello

NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!! The image you are looking at may not be work safe! If a boss or coworker saw this image, claim that it was spam and blame the IT guys. Otherwise, continue to gaze at it until your lewd urges are sated.

File:Kateriny stankove 6.jpg

I love art. Thanks Metropolis 19:20, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

.

—The preceding unsigned comment was added by Metropolis (talk • contribs)

Defending Arcticles from the Semi-Literate

I have done something kinda presumptious. I apologize for deleting the pornographic image that somebody left here: I am editing uncyclopedia from work and would prefer not to have to scroll over that woman's tits, nice though they are, to correspond with you. I can put it back for you if you really want it when I get home from work.

I've got another question for you. Somebody has added some unfunny crud in semi-English to one of the pages I was just editing, Dynasty Warriors. If something as poorly-written as this is added to one of the pages I have been editing, do I have the right to delete it, or should I contact an admin to get rid of it? YouFang

All tooken care of. I hope this is what you wanted. You can revert edits of anything if you feel that it is not a good contribution. Just don't get too greedy with it.

Also, Get Back To Work!!! & never remove from my talk page. I will see to it for myself when I correct vandalism & archives. The image is clearly not in any shape vandalism. It's art. 19:57, 29 December 2006 (UTC)

It's purely artistic.

--Metropolis 00:23, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Dude, make the pictures smaller. 00:28, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

If you go on IMDb, then you might get this.

LOL?? - BUMO - LOL?? - BUMO - LOL?? - BUMO - LOL?? - BUMO - LOL?? - BUMO - LOL?? - BUMO - LOL?? - BUMO - LOL?? - BUMO- LOL?? - BUMO--Metropolis 16:20, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

.........I don't get it, nor do I care about IMDb. Please leave comments that mean someting relevant. Or resized art images but don't over do that either. 19:18, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

--Metropolis 20:47, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU!! REFUCKINGSIZE THEM!! 23:34, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Hey, Tom!

Do you really wanna mess with this?

--Metropolis 16:58, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

Okay, enough with the spamming of images. You obviously have lost your taste in what is good. No more from you. 18:06, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

F@H

How do I find out my contributed points for folding at home? I just recently started this.-- Meteshjj _{My bologna has a first name,} ^{it's O-P-R-A-H! Whoo!!!} 03:43, 24 March 2007 (UTC)

You can check for it here. 13:00, 24 March 2007 (UTC)

Question(s)

One- do you have a list of the spcial symbols you use? (☭, ect)Fou-Lu 22:52, 23 March 2007 (UTC)

I actually found it on here. I googled "Alt codes" & "Special characters" to find didn't characters. 00:56, 24 March 2007 (UTC)

like this ☭ ▓ ☠ ☢ ☣ ? Fou-Lu 01:33, 24 March 2007 (UTC)

Yep 02:56, 24 March 2007 (UTC)

Che

Do you by any chance watch Che Guevara?--» >ZEROTROUSERS!!! EAT ME!!!! CRAZY PERSON! SMELLY!!! ILLOGIC, BEHOLD!!!!~» 07:18, 23 March 2007 (UTC)

I was but forgot to to rewatch it after a revert I did. Retarded, eh? 16:50, 23 March 2007 (UTC)

Hi!

--Emmzee 00:52, 18 March 2007 (UTC)

'Lo

You were right...that is a seriously long userpage. Er, would you be a commie by any chance? {{RabbiTechno 19:34, 17 March 2007 (UTC)}}

Me, a Commie? Nah. 19:39, 17 March 2007 (UTC)

But he is a Socialist. --Emmzee the Furious^{Spam me!} _{Don't click here!}

Thanks for the vote!

For voting for her article, UnBooks:Choose Your Own Adventure, has awarded you: The inside of a magic 8-ball. Now all your choices will be easy.

Query

hey tom

Is my new image any good?--» >ZEROTROUSERS!!! EAT ME!!!! CRAZY PERSON! SMELLY!!! ILLOGIC, BEHOLD!!!!~» 09:01, 15 March 2007 (UTC)

It looks like an ink blot honestly. 09:03, 15 March 2007 (UTC)

Beside the fact that it looks like an ink blot, is it any good?--» >ZEROTROUSERS!!! EAT ME!!!! CRAZY PERSON! SMELLY!!! ILLOGIC, BEHOLD!!!!~» 10:15, 15 March 2007 (UTC)

Sure it's good. 16:36, 15 March 2007 (UTC)

How can i improve it?--» >ZEROTROUSERS!!! EAT ME!!!! CRAZY PERSON! SMELLY!!! ILLOGIC, BEHOLD!!!!~» 07:44, 21 March 2007 (UTC)

Well his shirt isn't well defined so I would be clueless as to what the bottom of the image was if I didn't know any netter. The hair on the left (his right) looks a lot bigger than the actual image. And the edges aren't well defined like in Nintendorulez's & my image. Hence, makin' it look like an ink blot. 09:04, 21 March 2007 (UTC)

K ty i'll fix it up.--» >ZEROTROUSERS!!! EAT ME!!!! CRAZY PERSON! SMELLY!!! ILLOGIC, BEHOLD!!!!~» 12:08, 23 March 2007 (UTC)

What would be better to get the linux penguins head in the style of Che Guevara: A stamp filter effect or a photocopy filter effect?--» >ZEROTROUSERS!!! EAT ME!!!! CRAZY PERSON! SMELLY!!! ILLOGIC, BEHOLD!!!!~» 12:13, 23 March 2007 (UTC)

Another Thanks!

For voting for Is a 1982 Mitsubishi Colt better than a Bugatti Veyron?, you have been awarded one of Cs1987's many 1982 Mitsubishi Colts! Sorry I couldn't afford a better present. It might arrive in the mail soon, if you are lucky.

Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 02:08, 15 March 2007 (UTC)

Thank you for voting

Forum:2007 Spring Cleaning

You have won the coveted Bucket of Piss award. I would congratulate you, but this isn't anything to be proud about.

--Starnestommy (Talk • Contribs • FFS • WP) 03:04, 14 March 2007 (UTC)

F@H

Thanks for the ninjastar. Don't mind if I put it in my userpage.

ps: Have you noticed that your code breaks your userpage's CSS? :S --W2bh 01:24, 12 March 2007 (UTC)

What on Earth do you mean my codes break the userpage's CSS? 02:22, 12 March 2007 (UTC)

Don't you notice that the sections and elements on your userpage are misplaced and/or misaligned? You can appreciate that if you look at Sophia... It reads "Uncyclopedi", the A is missing.

--W2bh 13:57, 12 March 2007 (UTC)

Ah, yes, I haven't figured that one out yet. 14:01, 12 March 2007 (UTC)

whatever it is, it is crushing the american css code, so it must be good! --Fou-Lu 02:53, 12 March 2007 (UTC)

Will you adopt me?

Hi, I was wondering if you would adoptme, i'm flexible and obediant Fou-Lu 15:02, 11 March 2007 (UTC)

Sure. Just get in touch with me when you are havin' problems or have any questions. 15:52, 11 March 2007 (UTC)

thank you! Fou-Lu 16:23, 11 March 2007 (UTC)

Your welcome. 16:28, 11 March 2007 (UTC)

I have a questionabout userboxes, I noticed that the userbox page on uncyclopdia does not have all of the userboxes, is there a page that does? Fou-Lu 18:39, 11 March 2007 (UTC)

Not necessarily. The one at this location has the admin approved ones. The rest of 'em are throughout other people's userpages. A lot of mine are custom made because I'm addicted to the damn thin's. I have some of the ones I made at this location & are by no means all of 'em. I just got lazy with addin' 'em to that page. 00:17, 12 March 2007 (UTC)

In Soviet Russia, orphan adopts YOU!

Well hey there! If you're looking for a n00b to adopt, or just kick around, I'm your guy. Or girl. Depending on your preference. Anyways, I'm looking to be adopted so I can learn the ropes. You know which ropes.

Socialism is communism for pussies, --Madmonkey24 20:43, 9 March 2007 (UTC)

No problem. Just get in touch with me when you are havin' problems. 21:54, 9 March 2007 (UTC)

Oh ya, can I get in touch with you in any other way than this? Also, how do you get the user-boxes on the right? --Madmonkey24 22:52, 9 March 2007 (UTC)

Web Client

IRC Client
Example: {| align="right" width="239" border="0" style="background-color: #DF0500; color: #000000; border:solid 5px #000000;<br /> padding: 1px" |align="center"| <div style="float:left; border:solid #000000 0px; margin: 1px;"> |- |{{User:Tom mayfair/Template:Cursed}} |- |{{User:Tom mayfair/Template:No Corn}} |- |{{User:Tom mayfair/Template:Cursed}} |- |{{User:Tom mayfair/Template:No Corn}} |}

This user is cursed, and will lead an unsatisfasctory life unless he forwards this userbox to 10 friends.

This user says "NO!" to corn & all things corn related.

This user is cursed, and will lead an unsatisfasctory life unless he forwards this userbox to 10 friends.

This user says "NO!" to corn & all things corn related.

Just remember to change the colours to your likin'. To see the code clearer, just click the edit tab and view it that way, it won't be all jumbled up. ^_^ 23:56, 9 March 2007 (UTC)

Thank you for your vote

-- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  19:57, 8 March 2007 (UTC)

This_page_does_not_exist

xD -Kjhf!- (feeling chatty?) 09:57, 6 March 2007 (UTC)

We shall never forget

LET US BOW OUR HEADS IN SHAME The society for the commemoration of Porchesia would like to thank thee for helping us to remember, if only for a moment, the follies of the human race. Thank you for remembering

~ 16:53, 4 March 2007 (UTC)

In Soviet Russia, award gives YOU!

	Comrade NeedABrain has awarded you a red M&M!
	Due voting on Practical Lessons on Communism "In Soviet Russia, article features YOU!"

Oh, that other for nominating me AOTM:

	NeedABrain has awarded you a mayonnaise jar!
	For you got the brains. In case of unwanted death, just have your brain tucked in and fill it with serum, formol or mint liqueur. If you can't wait, go tease a lion.

-- herr doktor needsAsample  [scream!] 15:37, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

It wasn't me

IT WASN'T ME But thank you for voting. And suffering.

~ 13:05, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

Please help

Three of my articles have been tagged Ugly by an angry child who likes harry potter...

Actually Ugly

• Rudi Giuliani

Not Ugly

• Branding
• Joe Camel

Can you help? Are you a resonable person, or do you just run around pissing people off like the other admins? Doesn't anyone have anything better to do that mess with my shit, there are hundreds of crap articles on this site full of errors, broken links and 14 year olds calling people gay...--Dantoller 13:23, 26 February 2007 (UTC)

I looked it over and editted what I thought was the reason for the {{ugly}}. They should be fine. Except Rudi Giuliani. I didn't touch that one. Now go vote for me. 18:54, 26 February 2007 (UTC)

Oh, & I'm not an administrator either. I just work here. 18:57, 26 February 2007 (UTC)

So it was just the vendetta of a retarded child, as I suspected.. Thanks a lot!! You may not be an admin, but you seem to have the respect of these tools. You got my vote... If you want any other votes from me just hit up my page.

RYA

Thanks for the great rating Tom! :) —Braydie 20:08, 25 February 2007 (UTC)

Your welcome you nasty, evil tyrant. 20:43, 25 February 2007 (UTC)

Heh heh.. yeah. :D —Braydie 20:45, 25 February 2007 (UTC)

Thank you!

	Congratulation! You are now happy owner of new proud fat kid with an Accordion from El Zoof!
	Much felicitous appreciations for happy double nice good voting for HowTo:Stop Playing the Accordion

--El Zoof 01:02, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

Damn Cookie!

Braydie has awarded you a damn cookie! <TomMayfair> I cleaned up the redlink & deadend category yesterday as usual

It's much appreciated Tom! —Braydie 20:17, 21 February 2007 (UTC) 20:17, 21 February 2007 (UTC)

Userboxes

I have two questions about userboxes:

• Can I put Wikipedia Userboxes on my Uncyclopedia page?
• How do I get them going straight up and down, like on your page?

Thanks --GAMESPOT=666 18:05, 18 February 2007 (UTC)

I don't why you can't. If the image isn't here then you can use the url of the image to put in the userbox. Example:

This user says "NO!" to corn & all things corn related.

<div style="float:left; border:solid #006600 1px; margin: 1px;"> {| cellspacing="0" style="width:238px;background:#009900" | style="width:50px;height:50px;background:#009900;text-align:center;font-size:11pt" | <span class="plainlinks">http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a215/tom_mayfair/Web/UncyclopediaURLs/SNTC.png</span> | style="font-size:8pt;padding:4pt;line-height:1.25em;color:yellow" | '''This user says "NO!" to corn & all things corn related. ''' |}</div>

It's best to use a photo storage site so you can resize the image to 45px & save it there. Or just upload it here and size it the normal way. Here's the box code to line 'em up.

{| align="right" width="239" border="0" style="background-color: #DF0500; color: #000000; border:solid 5px #000000;<br /> padding: 1px" |align="center"| <div style="float:left; border:solid #000000 0px; margin: 1px;"> |- |{{User:Tom mayfair/Template:Cursed}} |- |{{User:Tom mayfair/Template:No Corn}} |- |{{User:Tom mayfair/Template:Cursed}} |- |{{User:Tom mayfair/Template:No Corn}} |}

This user is cursed, and will lead an unsatisfasctory life unless he forwards this userbox to 10 friends.

This user says "NO!" to corn & all things corn related.

This user is cursed, and will lead an unsatisfasctory life unless he forwards this userbox to 10 friends.

This user says "NO!" to corn & all things corn related.

Just remember to change the colours to your likin'. To see the code clearer, just click the edit tab and view it that way, it won't be all jumbled up. ^_^ 18:43, 18 February 2007 (UTC)

Got them on my page, thank you --GAMESPOT=666 01:11, 23 February 2007 (UTC)

Thank you

Thanks for the welcome to F@H. My first work unit should be done in a few days, if I'm to believe the program. Contestant 19:38, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

Token of thanks

Lac gratia tu ad suffragium per The Justice League!

--~

Jacques Pirat, Esq. Converse : Benefactions : U.w.p.

16:48, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:The Sockpuppeteer Award

Hey Tom, what happened to this page? I thought it was good. --AAA! (AAAA) 03:04, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

It was gettin' out of hand. People were gettin' too into fakin' it so I had it huffed. Plus people were not goin' by the universal Uncyclopedian rules for awards. The rules aren't written on most of their pages yet people folllowed 'em, but not with the Uncyclopedia:The Sockpuppeteer Award. So that's what happened to it. 03:19, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

Can I start it again, but in my own way? I might be able to get it back on track. --AAA! (AAAA) 01:28, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

Here. Wanna help me run it? --AAA! (AAAA) 03:54, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

I don't mind if you restart it. Run it? No. Help you watch over it? Sure. 09:48, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

Good enough. --AAA! (AAAA) 10:00, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

Potatochopper's Guild

Zombiebaron invites you to join the Potatochoppers' Guild. Please read through our charter and decide whether or not you would like to join. If you would, please contact Zombiebaron to find out more!

• Since you want to join so much, we might as well follow the rules here. --Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 19:20, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

RadicalX added me. I just added the Premier to it. 19:26, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

Well, in that case...its to bad that I removed you...and then he added you back...anywho, now you know we want you ;) --Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 19:29, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

Thanks!

	El Zoof has awarded you a special 3D holographic edition of the List of one letter words starting with A!
	For voting on List of one letter words starting with A. If you hadn't guessed.
	Soon: List of one letter words starting with A II: The Sequel - List of one letter words starting with I

El Zoof 00:48, 12 February 2007 (UTC)

Hey

How's it going? --Chancellor Krieger 01:49, 9 February 2007 (UTC)

It's goin'. 02:31, 9 February 2007 (UTC)

Dance

Igor, grab me my voting staff. I deem you worthy! Pshazap! OMG! Sliferjam deems you worthy!

UOTM

Braydie thanks you for voting for him to be Uncyclopedian of the Month January 2007.

—Braydie at 15:12, 2 February 2007 (UTC)

WOTM

Thank you. --Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 08:39, 1 February 2007 (UTC)

Re: Welcome versoin 2.0

That "in soviot Russia" guy sucks. kthxbia. Hank J. Wimbleton

Huh? 15:07, 27 January 2007 (UTC)

Re: Welcome

Wooootageyness Reedy Boy 21:57, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

Huh? 22:09, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

Compared to these guys, i look like WotM.--Shas 03:26, 10 February 2007 (UTC)

Thanks

Thanks for cheering me up. As a reward we're honoring you with an honorary membership in the GFP. --LordKaT

Guido Protection Fund Member This user's membership in the Guido Protection Fund is Paid In Full They are not to be fucked with under penalty of broken kneecaps.

Congratulations.

Congratulations on winning Sliferjam's Annual Contest's FIRST PLACE for the First Task.

1.Tom mayfair Total: 24

Sliferjam ~ This is my new signature. Cool huh? 18:54, 20 January 2007 (UTC)

ChixpyBot

I answer here. I warn you as I have the bot flag... ^_^ --ChixpyBot 16:47, 19 January 2007 (UTC)

Bang!

	BANG BANG BANG!!! The victory bells(?) have rang!
	NeedABrain thanks you for voting on Onomatopoeia

herr doktor needsAsample  [scream!] 22:14, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

Hugs

flyingfeline has awarded you a hug and a biscuit. She would also like to scream hysterically in your ear, but is afraid it would get her desysopped.

I'll be voting for you next time. -- 20:16, 16 January 2007 (UTC)

Walter Humala

Was sporked entirely from your user page. Did he get permission to post your son's pic? Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 11:55, 15 January 2007 (UTC)

Your requested UnNews, sir

UnNews:Hugo Chavez announces "socialist revolution," tops 2007 Dead Pools worldwide - David Gerard 23:07, 14 January 2007 (UTC)

Bah, I just hit the "+" at the top to add that. - David Gerard 08:14, 15 January 2007 (UTC)

Captain Obvious

I've found a way to resolve the edit war. Could you please upload your red version of Image:Captobvious.png? --AAA! (AAAA) 06:25, 14 January 2007 (UTC)

Award delivery

---Asteroid B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 21:07, 10 January 2007 (UTC)

Vanity Policy

You said that a page I made about a school is a vanity page.... that's not true. Its a real school. So how does that make it a vanity page? --AndyBlak 23:04, 9 January 2007 (UTC)

It vanity on account that it is not known to the world over. It's more of an inside joke & what is funny to you isn't funny to all of us. It's vain because only you get it. Plus Codeine's mum has never heard of it. 01:35, 10 January 2007 (UTC)

If you'll allow me to step in here real quick, most school pages, even the ones that people HAVE heard of, depend a little too heavily on jokes about non-notable people. This became so prevalent that the site has decided that, if there's any question, the school page gets taken down. Hope this clears things up for you.--<<>> 13:23, 10 January 2007 (UTC)

How do you make a special talk page signature?

Where can I change mine? --SatanicGranny 00:58, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

Go here and add the codin' of your choice. Copy this -> {{SUBST:nosubst|User:SatanicGranny/sig}} and go to preference at the top right corner of the site. Paste it in nickname. check raw signature, click save. Be sure to properly code it because if Famine see it overflowin' he will block you. 01:12, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

Harper and Pork and beans

Hi! Thank you for the warm welcome. I made the article Pork and bean and I think it was deleted. Who the fuck is the asshole that did that! Anyway it doesn't really mater because it was mis-spelt. Nevertheless, I remade it as its proper spelling... Pork and beans... hopefully it's not deleted. Could you please take a quick look at it... since I'm new. Thank you. --CyclePat 00:57, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

It's okay but too short. Needs expandin'. I added the construction template to it to prevent deletion until you are done. When done, remove it. 01:01, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

Thanks! In the future I'll post my message at the top! ops. --CyclePat 01:06, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

What do you think of the article Pork and beans now? --CyclePat 22:47, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

Great Job! I doubt it will get huffed now. 22:51, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

Oh Noes!

omg i did something bad?!

OH NO!!!! BTW i want kudos for my name! 1have2ba115and1p3n15 1mu5733a30y 17:23, 7 January 2007 (UTC)

Well, one talk page wasn't time stamped, the context of your comments on the talk pages was considered gobshite, the formattin' of the comments was not proper wiki standards, and your user name is too leetish for my taste & a bit profane. If you want Kudos for your name, go to preference in the top right of the screen and type it in the nickname section, click on raw signature, then your name will come up as Kudos. 17:32, 7 January 2007 (UTC)

It ISN'T Vanity

I worked very hard on that page. The MySpace game ISN'T Vanity. If you're still going to be a jerk about it, I'll just make it a sub article for my Uncyclopedia page. I did nothing wrong to you. Cheddar Cheesia 05:14, 6 January 2007 (UTC)

Uploading personal images is a violation of the vanity policy when it comes to things outside your user space. Calm the fuck down. And learn to read where new messages are suppost to go. 05:16, 6 January 2007 (UTC)

Well, I'm keeping that article. I'll make a sub section for my Uncyclopedia page. Just because I'm twelve doesn't mean you have control over my life.

Cheddar Cheesia 05:18, 6 January 2007 (UTC)

And I just happened to know that you were 12, eh? You're one rebelious little prick. Calm down or I'll see to it that your article is removed sooner than later. 05:20, 6 January 2007 (UTC)

The prickiest! That didn't come out right.

Cheddar Cheesia 05:22, 6 January 2007 (UTC)

Okay, I'm confused

One minute, you're using ^_^ faces; the next minute, you're using ~_~ faces. How come? --AAA! (AAAA) 07:52, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

Bi-polar Manic depressive. I have the rare case that my mode can change by the minute when in most normal cases episodes of mania & depression can last for hours or days by themselves. So the ^_^ can be one minute & ~_~ could be the next. I need my damn medication but the holidays have slowed down my mail refill order. 09:44, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

OH NOES!! IT'S THE END OF UNCYC AS WE KNOW IT!! --AAA! (AAAA) 12:10, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

Or not... --AAA! (AAAA) 10:26, 10 January 2007 (UTC)

Civility, welcoming and appropriateness

Hey Tom. Firstly, let me say how grateful we all are for your presence here on Uncyclopedia; your long list of awards and your current nomination for UotM bear testament to the excellent work you do here. However, I and a few other administrators feel that some of your contributions cross certain boundaries pertaining to civility and appropriateness, so I'm here to discuss this with you. Firstly, your usage of User:Tom_mayfair/Temp:Go_Away is at times highly inappropriate, sometimes downright rude. Using it to welcome accounts that have clearly been created solely for the purpose of abuse (e.g.: User_talk:!!!!!!!!!!!DavidGerard is a fag.lol) is pointless, as said accounts are extremely unlikely to make any worthwhile contributions, and will be infinitely blocked on sight anyway; all this is doing therefore is sig spamming on vandal accounts which you've been asked before not to do. We also feel that the wording of the template, and your approach to some users is lacking in civility somewhat. Few people, upon first arriving at Uncyclopedia, instantly understand all our criteria for articles, and many of them create vanity or unfunny stubs in the process. But I really don't think any of them appreciate being called a gobshite, or being told that their contributions are shit. Essentially, the best idea is to be as helpful and forthcoming as possible. "Thanks for contributing, but you haven't quite got the hang of the site yet; have a read of the rules and ask me for help if you need any" is much better than "Hey Gobshite, you suck! Read the rules or fuck off, asshole", and I for one would appreciate the template being edited to reflect this.

If you continue to use welcoming templates on blatant vandal accounts, I have proposed that you be added to Uncyclopedia:Flammable's Office and placed under special rules delinking your userpage from your signature so as to discourage sig spamming; although I sincerely hope this won't be neccessary.

One other thing, unfortunately; we also think that your customised userbox "This user wants to skeet on the face of the VP of Wikia" is highly inappropriate. It's all too easy to forget that other users are also people and not just avatars on a screen, but think of it this way; if you told a female employee at work "I'd like to come on your face" it would cause extremely serious offence and most likely lead to your dismissal. Perhaps you could consider changing it to "This user wants to skeet on your face" and changing the picture?

Please see this transcript of an IRC discussion I had about these issues this morning with Sannse (as she was the only other active admin on IRC at the time). I hope none of this offends you; I have a great respect for you and the work you do here, but I hope that you understand that my responsibility as an administrator lies to the site and all of its users. Best wishes. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 12:53, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

Gonna add to this, as the template was my idea, and I didn't protest at the wording (the opposite in fact, giving you a cookie). So just want to emphasise that this isn't about what you do, just a matter of toning it down a bit and pushing the "this is how to do it better" rather than the "get lost gobshite" message. But there's no doubt you to a lot of great grunt work around here, so thanks again for that :) -- sannse (talk) 13:16, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

Sorry. :( 18:04, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

Thanks

Bradaphraser has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Thanks, I appreciate your nomming my article! I'm jazzed it's up there, and appreciate the honor even if I don't win anything. Cheers.--<<>> 00:01, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

HowTo:Convince People You're a Heterosexual Male

Thanks for your vote!

Berogen has awarded you the Neat Order of the Closet for voting For HowTo:Convince People You're a Heterosexual Male Wear It With Pride!TM You big homo.

WotY

THIS USER VOTES WISELY They voted for me. And I didn't even have to bribe them. Uncyclopedia:Writer of the Year -- Todd Lyons

I greatly appreciate the nod. Maybe it'll shake the glumness off my face and convince my muse to comeback. I don't know which other writer she's cheating on me with, but whoever wins this award will become suspect #1.  :) --Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 14:03, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

AMR

We should not quit when we are so young. I'm going to be there a little more, I want this to do well. Sir james paul 11:49, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

Australia

Greetings Comrade, As part and an active Marree Man, just to let you know that Australia has been moved to a new location by a new user. Might wanna check into it. Na Zdarovia. Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 17:17, 2 January 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for noticin'. I hate pointless redirects. 17:51, 2 January 2007 (UTC)

Rate my article!

Raw Pwnage--Metropolis 23:57, 2 January 2007 (UTC)

AotM

Thanks for your vote. Rather than giving you a template of thanks, in honour of the occassion I wrote UnUnNews: Lindsay Lohan says "Gonch is for chumps" (snappy title, eh?). Don't worry, it makes more sense after you read it. Or less, I haven't decided yet.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 05:26, 1 January 2007 (UTC)

Emoticons XXX

--Metropolis 18:25, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

You got off light with that 2 hour block. Don't post anything ever again on my talk page or user page, you stupid gobshite. 19:27, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

Sorry i missed that, what did he do?--Shas 03:38, 10 February 2007 (UTC)

Spammin' images on my talk page. 03:41, 10 February 2007 (UTC)

Oh.--THE (NOT SO NOBLE) ZEROTROUSERS 21:40, 10 February 2007 (UTC)

Post Your NEW Message AT THE TOP!!!

Asplode!!

	Gneomi has awarded you some hot stuff to jihad your own ride!
	For voting on Jihad My Ride.
	"Never forget: Jihad is not all about war. It is about creating cool stuff and making cars look better. Yo jihad yo!!"

Happy Valentine's Day

As a token of my purely Platonic love for you on this most lovely of days, DiZ would like to present you with a purely Platonic heart-shaped box of chocolate, some half-withered roses, and an assortment of those chalky candies with the words written on them. Happy Valentine's Day, and I hope you get some this year.

I'm not homosexual, but I sure am gay for you. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 21:17, 14 February 2007 (UTC)

AMR

Are you going to come back to AMR? Where is Sir James Paul? ForestH2 22:54, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

I doubt it. I don't know what happened to him. You should ask for it since you're the only one who contributes to it. I have to worry 'bout my new offical wiki which I've been lazy 'bout keepin' up. I need people that actually use the wiki but maintenance wouldn't hurt either. 00:31, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

Open Your Inventory

	FoxyBabe has awarded you with a Key Item!
	For voting on HowTo:Live in an RPG.
	"I found it inside a weird chest placed mysteriously in Lava Mountain. Still haven't figured out what it does, so keep it in your inventory, it may come in handy to eliminate a dancing mushroom."

DAME :: FoxyBabe :: TALK 13:36, 23 February 2007 (UTC)

Don't be stupid

Stop reversing the edit on kgb because myrrh is not spelled myrr.

Shite, sorry. Don't know why I did that. 22:43, 23 February 2007 (UTC)

Shock porn in IRC

When I first saw my browser crashing, due to opening a link that you sent in IRC, I was really pissed off. I was in the middle of going through the newpages for today. I had several open. I was in the middle of doing things. And then *BLAM* I'm hit with 1000 pages of porn. All from a link that you told me was "pretty cool". Not cool. Not cool at all. I was so angry that I was about to vote against you for UotM. Then I thought, "No, that's just mean". Then I thought about nomming you for UGotM, but you wouldn't win this late in the month. So, I'm just going to tell you never to do it again. It wasn't a good idea, and trust me, people remember thing that you do for a long time, as I should know. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 02:12, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

Sorry, I didn't realize what the link did. /me dies on the inside 02:18, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

I'll take my leave. 02:50, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

Hey Tom...first time caller on the Red Phone...um...just wanted you to feel better about yourself, it was funny to me and I'm not a malicious person....hey, if you ain't gettin' kicked you ain't doin' nothin'...--Shandon 03:52, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

What the...??? Tom?? Mail me? sannse@tiscali.co.uk -- sannse (talk) 16:37, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

---

• Tom, I am sorry for acting harshly. When I swung around earlier today I was shocked to see that you had withdrawn your nomination for UotM, and that you have added new templates to both your talk and user pages. I felt that it was my fault, for getting angry at you on your talkpage. I understand the feeling of getting blamed for doing something that were not aware was wrong, because most of my early bans were based on things that I didn't know were wrong. The reason I got so angry was mainly because I have been told about all the horrible things that many shockporn sites can do to a computer, and I thought that might happen to my computer.
  
  After reading through the logs, I have identified the fact that you were in fact given two diffrent stores about the nature of the site that you linked me too. Here is the first:
  
  Tooj117: what was it?
Braydie: goatse
Braydie: lots of it
Tooj117: thats disgusting

  The second one was provided by urbandictionary:
  
  TomMayfair: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=nimp.org
  
  As we've both figured out, the urbandictionary lied to you. You wanted someone to paste you the link so you could use it as "a weapon", but instead the whole idea blew up in your face, and then I blew up in your face. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't leave Tom. It would be shameful for this whole event to draw you away from me Uncyclopedia. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:31, 28 February 2007 (UTC)

/me let's out a sigh of relief Thank you for you research. I couldn't remember how it all went down. I have a really bad memory & couldn't remember why I thought it was what it wasn't... you know what I mean? I forgot the site that I had read 'bout it from. Bad information is bad ju-ju. I'm sorry for all the unneeded drama. I just hope UNKNOWNFILE forgives me. I think he took it the worse. 02:00, 28 February 2007 (UTC)

Heh, you have no idea how many times I had to read through the log to dig up that explanation. But yah, I'm glad your back. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 02:05, 28 February 2007 (UTC)

Future ☭f tomorrow, today!

• Modusoperandi has been making this page, and the moment I saw it, I thought of you. So, go read it or something. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 05:52, 28 February 2007 (UTC)

Userboxes & Timezones!

Is there a list of userboxes with codes to make it easer to put on your page? i saw that the Homestar Runner wiki had it and was wondering if Uncyclopedia had it too. and is there a way to change timezone settings? because i always come here and the main page will have the news for tomorrow and im like, "What?"--Vfdtyler 02:50, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

Templates has some, custom ones run a muck 'round here too though. 02:54, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

As for the time. It's UK time so you're screwed on the news. 02:07, 8 March 2007 (UTC)

AMR

Hey Tom! Long time no see:) I have decided to re-activate AMA with a few reforms. The first one is that the all the members will lead it. Second, we will have it based on Meta Wiki, Uncyclopedia, and Wikia. Last but not least, it will have some more realistic goals like fighting POV in articles, help solve disputes, will educate new editors on different things, and will help promote civility. Peace:) Sir james paul 21:55, 23 March 2007 (UTC)

Awesome 21:15, 26 March 2007 (UTC)

Supporteth Thankings

I giveth you thankings great for yes support of HowTo:Construct a Federation Starship! - Enzo Aquarius 21:13, 26 March 2007 (UTC)

You're Welcome. 21:16, 26 March 2007 (UTC)