User talk:Thekillerfroggy
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Archives 1, not like you'd ever want to actually look through it.
Archives 2, that's the new one.
Moar archives.
Moar moar archives
Moar moar moar archives
Moar moar moar moar archives
[edit] New stuff here. Yeah.
[edit] User Who Deserves to Be Banned
This user has been here 28 days now (if you don't count her first day), and she hasn't been banned yet. I really think she deserves to be banned. She was in the Imperial Colonization project that rewrote the already featured article on God, and she unstubbed the Catsup article based on her own edits, and created Brooke Shields and Ricardo Montalbán even though both articles had previously been huffed, was nominated twice for Noob of the Month even though she doesn't qualify (she was here one day, then gone for a month and half, then came back 28 days ago so if you don't count the first day she's been here for four weeks--but that first day counts!), named herself a Member of the Order of Uncyclopedia, and right now I bet she's typing while naked. If she doesn't deserve a ban, who does? So, can you ban her, please? A Completely Anonymous User 05:55, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
- Consider it done. --Grand General Wizard Etc x2 and Senator G/K/O/CUNT.K.F. WHORE! ZOTM MAFE VANDL UOTM WOTM TOP10 FP PMOTM UWotM 14:23, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
- Ok you banned Miley Spears for being a "pointlessly productive, dedicated user." I thought the ban would be for 23 seconds or something, not til Judgement Day! Very funny. I should know better than to try to out-wit an Admin. Well I looked it up, and Judgement Day is Sunday, August 23, 2009. (Seriously, on Wikipedia if you get banned, you can at least appeal on your user talk page. Here I couldn't post anywhere! That sucked. I hope I'm not breaking a rule by making a second account, but I tried every way I could find to contact somebody, and nothing worked. I'll be gone to the beach until Sunday evening, but would like to be able to post then, pretty please? I'll even give you a kissie, so you can stop being a frog! Of course, you might like being a frog. Whatever! :D) A Completely Anonymous User 18:47, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
- Lol. MrN
20:32, Aug 22
- You can always beg to an admin in the IRC channel. There's usually always one there. Or you can ask Starnestommy and make him feel useful (he wont actually be able to help you, though).
- I tried posting on IRC channel. Nothing happened. Except I got a date with a sockpuppet. Miley Spears 04:52, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
- Also, you claim that sockpuppetry is not a violation of the rules. Here you are mistaken. --Grand General Wizard Etc x2 and Senator G/K/O/CUNT.K.F. WHORE! ZOTM MAFE VANDL UOTM WOTM TOP10 FP PMOTM UWotM 00:36, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
- I think a full day ban is a bit much for sockpuppetry for violating a joke ban, just saying. --Mn-z 00:53, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
- Hey, she said she'll be gone until Sunday evening, so I'm just making sure that she definitely be gone until Sunday evening. --Grand General Wizard Etc x2 and Senator G/K/O/CUNT.K.F. WHORE! ZOTM MAFE VANDL UOTM WOTM TOP10 FP PMOTM UWotM 00:58, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks for unbanning me. I promise I will never ask you to ban me again! :P Miley Spears 04:48, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
- Hey, she said she'll be gone until Sunday evening, so I'm just making sure that she definitely be gone until Sunday evening. --Grand General Wizard Etc x2 and Senator G/K/O/CUNT.K.F. WHORE! ZOTM MAFE VANDL UOTM WOTM TOP10 FP PMOTM UWotM 00:58, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
- I think a full day ban is a bit much for sockpuppetry for violating a joke ban, just saying. --Mn-z 00:53, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
- You can always beg to an admin in the IRC channel. There's usually always one there. Or you can ask Starnestommy and make him feel useful (he wont actually be able to help you, though).
- Lol. MrN
- Ok you banned Miley Spears for being a "pointlessly productive, dedicated user." I thought the ban would be for 23 seconds or something, not til Judgement Day! Very funny. I should know better than to try to out-wit an Admin. Well I looked it up, and Judgement Day is Sunday, August 23, 2009. (Seriously, on Wikipedia if you get banned, you can at least appeal on your user talk page. Here I couldn't post anywhere! That sucked. I hope I'm not breaking a rule by making a second account, but I tried every way I could find to contact somebody, and nothing worked. I'll be gone to the beach until Sunday evening, but would like to be able to post then, pretty please? I'll even give you a kissie, so you can stop being a frog! Of course, you might like being a frog. Whatever! :D) A Completely Anonymous User 18:47, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Raep
- --Mn-z 02:13, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
Pear? HMV
[edit] A blast of wind is heard, as the good spaceship Serenity approaches your userpage ...
Thank you for supporting the Firefly article! <sarcasm style="obvious">Although, if I may, my plan was really to have it fail VFH after 11 days, have it quasi-featured, start a "Feature Firefly" campaign, and eventually rewrite and have featured the article on Serenity (which is kind of in a mess at the moment).</sarcasm> But thanks anyway!
Sir MacMania GUN—[03:03 23 Aug 2009]
[edit] Pagemove vandal (no admins in IRC)
NEW YORK TO BAN SHRINK RAYS needs moved back to UnNews:Trig mourns grandmommy's loss. And you might want to tell User:Arkansas Dogshit do stop doing that. --Mn-z 02:06, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Sockpuppetry Rules
What are they? HMV
[edit] UnSignpost 20th August, it's not late, your mom is!
The Newspaper that WILL win Zombiebaron back, damn it.
Date August 20th, 2009 • Issue 61 • Where no news is normal news
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Fantasy Football Draft Finished After four weeks of red-hot eight-man free fantasy football league draft action, the first Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League (UFFL) Draft is finally at a close: Uncyclopedia regular and DiBiase's Millions general manager The Woodburninator made Arizona Cardinals' Kicker Neil Rackers Mr. Irrelevant on the afternoon of August 21th, 2009, a mere 26 hours after the previous pick had been made. Afterward, League Commissioner and noted Nazi sympathizer Guildensternenstein promised to make all subsequent Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League official actions run much more smoothly. He vowed he would "put the drafted players on their respective fantasy teams" at some point "after I'm done writing this story for the UnSignpost and before I go see Inglorious Bastards later tonight." The draft itself was varied, and picks ranged from the predictable (Vikings' running back Adrian Peterson taken first overall) to the even more predictable (Falcons' running back Michael Turner taken with second overall pick) to the fairly predictable (Drew Brees, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady being the first three quarterbacks taken) to the downright wild. Notable steals include Guildy's nabbing of Chris Johnson in Round 5, Woody's snagging of Aaron Rodgers in Round 6, and Bradaphraser's criminal steal of Dallas tight end Jason Witten. For every good pick, there was a bad one, however: in moves that would make Al Davis proud, LongLiverh3 took Philadelphia's No. 3 receiver while their No. 1 and No. 2 receivers were still on the board, made 30th ranked tight end L.J. Smith the second overall tight end picked, and made Baltimore QB Joe Flacco his backup quarter back while the likes of Matt Schaub, Jay Cutler, Ben Roethlisberger and Eli Manning were still available. LongLiver could not be reached for comment. New UnSignpost Editor already having trouble filling up space; Falls upon pointless gimmicks, self-references, long article titles to fill void In a move that has surprised literally 0% of the Uncyclopedia UnSignpost community, the newest UnSignpost editor has already hit a wall in trying to think up new articles for the post. Well, that's not actually true. First he wrote a story trying to beg Zombiebaron to re-subscribe for the post. Then he actually looked at Zombiebaron's userpage to find out that he was actually leaving the site. Needless to say, the presses were called back, and more writing had to be done. Namely, this. Now, we at the post already know what you are thinking. But, since putting those things into print is outlawed in 36 states, two Canadian provinces, and all of Lithuania, we will instead reference the fact that there have been an awful lot of self-referencing in the UnSignpost lately. For that we are truly sorry. Also, we are sorry for self-referencing our own self-referencing. It is truly a problem that continues to build upon itself. We hope to soon continue with the top notch reporting that is so often found in our hallowed archives. Such as the time we wrote about Spang's village dump conquests, or the time we self-referenced how the UnSignpost's lovable mascot, "Dognewspaper" had not been in the Unsignpost for over nine months. Or that time we wrote about the Fantasy Football Draft being finished. Yes, all of those times were good. And we plan - nae, promise - to, in the very near future, continue bringing those kinds of articles to your doorstep. That is, if you don't mind finding a bit of drool upon it. |
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[edit] Bollox to U
This time I'm asking for a real block, for User:B0LL0X_2_U. Contributions were a bunch of blanked articles. Thanks! Miley Spears 02:57, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
- You want to use UN:BP for that next time. ~
08:40, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks! Dame Pleb Cpt. Miley Spears (talk) 03:09, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Thekillerfroggy kills Pedobear
I noticed you're one of the 9.5 people who huffed the article Pedobear because it sucked. (I say 9.5 because one huffed it twice. And yes you're all getting this message). Well I'm trying to write an article that won't be huffed. I know I'm treading into dangerous territory, but I've gone into Huff Land before and survived. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to see them at Talk:Pedobear. Thanks! Danger Girl Miley Spears (talk)
[edit] Pixar
Thank you for supporting!
Sir MacMania GUN—[16:21 30 Aug 2009]
[edit] ITTE
Hey boss. I am just trying to get a little feedback for the above article, as I feel that it has a bit of wingspan but it obviously still hasn't quite gotten airborne. Was there anything particularly unlikeable about it, or was it just a ho-hum factor. Be as detailed or lack thereof in your answer. Or in fact don't even answer at all, completely your call. But this is a bit of a polarising article by the looks of it, and for that reason PEE review has helped me so far but not far enough. HMV
[edit] UnSignpost 4th September
The newspaper that missed an issue and no-one even noticed.
Date September something-or-other, 2009 • Issue 63 • Nobody reads this bit anyway
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Left alone to write the entire UnSignpost, Ape delivers sub-par, mostly self-referential issue "What happened to the signpost?" was the question on literally nobody's lips this week, as Uncyclopedia's favourite newspaper which everyone loves to read but no-one can be bothered to write for took another step on the long slow descent to obscurity. However, our intrepid hero, i.e. me, soon discovered the enormity of the task that lay ahead of him. Boxes had to be filled, interesting and thought-provoking forums had to be discovered and linked to, block logs had to be accessed and trawled for witty comments (unsuccessfully, as it turned out) and this article and presumably another one below it had to be written. "I never thought it could be this hard," Ape told himself, with sexual innuendo very much intended. "How did Gerrycheevers keep finding stuff to write about? There doesn't really seem to be much happening around here. I mean, I could start whoring my newest articles under the flimsy guise of self-referential irony, but that would be shit really. Who wants to see that? Nobody, that's who." However, in the absence of anything funny or clever to say, our hero, (who is gradually being revealed to be more of an anti-hero, like Alex in A Clockwork Orange, except with no sense of style) proceeded to do exactly that, shamelessly whoring two articles (which, if anything, evince his decline as a comedy writer), eliciting a universal chorus of groans and boos from all who had the misfortune to read it. An appeal to the Uncyclopedia community Seriously guys, if you don't want any more shitty issues like this I'm going to need help, or else the signpost is going to die like all the other well-intentioned projects that nobody bothers with. What we need is:
Thank you for your time. |
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-- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 16:43, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] You took my virginity and left!
Why did you leave? I was a blocking virgin, and you blocked me and took my blocking virginity away. Don't you care? How can you just abandon me like that? Well, you may be hearing from my attorney. "Something" that's supposed to happen to girls regularly hasn't happened. How would you feel suddenly discovering you're the father of a block head? (Really I'll miss you. And thanks for your edits to the featured Brooke Shields!). Dame Pleb Cpt. Miley Spears (talk) 21:15, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] UnSignpost Randomber -56th
The only newspaper that Codeine's mum has randomized
Date August 27th, 2009: THE RANDOM ISSUE • Issue 62 • Because the truth is not random enough
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Random Headline
At 5:08 PM, books cogitated a t-shirt. While facepalm was destroying, cartilage suddenly frozen. Doctors wear gloves so they don't leave fingerprints! Oprah Winfrey bamboozles fistula! White Witch throws a mammary gland! NINTENDOGS I DIDN'T VOTE MUGABE! Furthermore, pigeon throws tongss! Did the captain geld...
In general, kittens enormous 331337 curate to devour banana Jedadiah quickly shivs 11:33 AM 3881 BC kitten chow mein Gayzilla <insert name here> saliva magma In a few words matured buffalo. OMG!1!!!11!one Babe Ruth was a total Bitch! Look, I'm not saying he wasn't good at baseball! I'm not trying to destroy your great baseball heroes. But let's not kid ourselves here. Babe Ruth was a complete and total bitch. Come on. He couldn't catch the ball. And he whined at the umpires when people called him fat (even though he totally was). And he always talked about how much his feelings were hurt by people trying to buy him a beer. Signpost Has Gone Officially Bat fuck Insane
Due to frequent lack of interest and excitement, this UnSignpost issue has now gone totally insa-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Genital wart in the left politician! BOMB IRAN! HEIL CAJEK! Lola. Lady. |
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Furthermore, please think of the french fry fistulas! 15:07, 7 September 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Man I Love HAET college...
Dude, it stinks that you aren't getting time to go on Uncyclopedia because of college. However, I don't believe you. I just started college too, and I still edit. So what's the deal, eh? You trying to leave us? Are you? You've met someone else, have you?! Gosh! What does 4chan have that we don't?! Come on, man! Quit having such a real life and spend some more time on Uncyclopedia! Do it! • • • Necropaxx (T) 06:17, Sep 11
[edit] Attention Colonizers!
The brief era of peace we've been enjoying has once again been shattered by the IP horde. And since those pot smoking, tree hugging liberal faggots repealed the draft the IC forces are stuck with the likes of you. You are therefore ordered to report to the front lines at once for briefing. Once we have decided our plan of attack, we'll march into battle post haste. You're dismissed Thekillerfroggy. -OptyC Sucks!
CUN20:23, 11 Sep
[edit] Haughty Pretentiousness
Um, what? Sorry, but I really don't understand why you feel the need to be such an asswipe all the time. And not just to me, but to everyone in general, from your generally unwarranted snarky comments to saying how you never got what the "big deal" with PP was to vehemently insisting that a certain article of mine was a piece of shit to criticizing other people's VFH votes against your articles to I don't even care to list what else. Seriously, what the fuck's your problem? Are you so far above everyone else that simply being polite (on the internet, no less) is too much to ask? Were you beaten as a child? Is your cock, really, really small, and the only way you can overcompensate is to be an ass to complete strangers on an obscure humor wiki? Are you just some friendless prick? Seriously, what the fuck. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 20:10, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
- he iz jst 2 k00l fr skool, and iz kkoooler then U!!!! AHAHAHAAHAHimlame --Roman Dog Bird 20:32, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
- Evidently. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 20:48, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] On a Totally Unrelated Note
Good luck in college. Seriously, though, I mean that. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 20:29, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] You aren't in college you died for our sins
Here's proof:
After you rise from the dead after three months (I guess it's longer for frogs), can I be one of your 12 disciples? Maybe I could be Tadpole, or Pollywog, or even Mr. Toad. Just as long as I don't have to die or anything. I thought I'd just write a best-selling gospel and make lots of money. WHY do I not know??? 23:06, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] regular k
dearest murder frog,
- best of luck in your college exploits. i hope you're having fun in that town you're in because it's totally awesome. hopefully college life will leave you with little to do besides return to uncyclopedia. anyway, i really would like to finish up regular k, so in the next week or so i'll be focusing all my efforts on it. if you have any time at all feel free to drop in some funny, otherwise i plan on mainspacing it by this time next week. 03:44, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] No, but seriously...
What the fuck's your problem? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:45, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Oh, and another thing
My six identical director article features are all fairly different in terms of style, angle etc. Maybe if you'd taken the time to actually read them before being critical you'd know this. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:51, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Okay, how about this?
TKF and Guildensternenstein avoid each other for a while. I'm sensing drama, hurt feelings, and an overriding sense of homoerotic tension. If you can't avoid each other, come to me, for chemical castration. It's a hobby of mine. (My secret ingredient? Estrogen) Sir Modusoperandi Brute! Boinc! 13:04, September 22, 2009 (UTC)
- Modus, are you promising estrogen to men in sentences that contain the phrase "come to me," again? 15:25, September 22, 2009 (UTC)
- It's what I do. The newest meme is me interrupting Kanye interrupting Wilson interrupting Obama, and giving him girljuice. Sir Modusoperandi Brute! Boinc! 15:44, September 22, 2009 (UTC)
- Sounds like a great meme. 18:49, September 22, 2009 (UTC)
- It's what I do. The newest meme is me interrupting Kanye interrupting Wilson interrupting Obama, and giving him girljuice. Sir Modusoperandi Brute! Boinc! 15:44, September 22, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] UnSignpost September 10/17
STOP... SIGNPOST TIME!!
Date September 17th, 2009 • Issue 64 • Consistently Declining Readership Since 2008!
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Uncyclopedians Continue Hostile Takeover of Wikimedia
This week, noted user Electrified mocha chinchilla got a short but somewhat hostile reply from the lackluster Wikimedia Foundation. After telling truths to the company such as taking control over Wikipedia and how Uncyclopedia is 104% fact, a Wikipedia Foundation employee under the subtle disguise "Philippe XXXXXX" replied in a manner that was both honorable and robust. Confounded by the foundation's kindness, e|m|c quickly replied with a rebuttal seeming more like a terrorist threat like a thank-you note. Even though Uncyclopedia has not managed to even get off Wikia's back, some users have a bright, world domination-esque outlook to the future. UFFL Update Week One of the UFFL season was full of thrills, spills, birth control pills, and shitty rhymes. The John Curry All-Stars bested The Oklahoma City Storm 93.08 – 74.54 after a sub-par performance from offensive giants Larry Fitzgerald and Michael Turner on the Storm side, not to mention the controversial decision to sit starting quarterback and country singer enthusiast Tony Romo. The appropriately-named Dudes edged Cheddar’s Doritians 98.42 – 96.06, despite the fact that Dudes manager Frank Zappa was high the entirety of the game. Injuries to key Doritian players Donovan McNabb and LaDainian Tomlinson made the loss extra-hard to swallow. The not-so-domestic Domestic Team Name blew out DiBiase’s Millions 112.82 – 67.16—a loss which caused Millions’ manager Woody Onfire to question the not-sucking-ness of his team publicly. Finally, Sternensteinenstine annihilated the ironically-named Winnerz 123.92 – 0.00 after Winnerz manager Al Davis forgot to edit his team’s starting roster for the week. The lop-sided German victory was aided by a career day from Saints’ quarterback Drew Brees and round-the-clock Luftwaffe air cover in conjunction with concentrated armored thrusts at the enemy’s flanks. Lead Editor Returns to UnSignpost Office, Demands to Know Whereabouts of Bundt Cake This week Active Lead UnSignpost editor Gerrycheevers stumbled back onto the Uncyclopedia scene amid much celebration and hooplah. While settling down to his usual routine of getting UnSignpost issues polished off stylishly late, he noticed that his office at the UnSignpost wing of Uncyclopedia had been raided, and his delicious bundt cake had been mercilessly stolen. Gerry immediately declared a halt to the UnSignpost presses, which involved Sockpuppet of an unregistered user using several pints of holy water and a rubber chicken, in order to plea for the safe return of his tasty cake. Please, mystery pastry thief, don't leave Mr. Cheevers cakeless and hungry! |
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This would've gotten here last week, but it's my firs week as paperboy and I got lost. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:46, September 22, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] That's what she said!
LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Pleb KUN Dexter111344 • Complain here • Vote now! 00:27, September 24, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Hey TKF
Have you gone rogue? 21:32, 25 September 2009
[edit] UnSignpost: September 24th, 2009
Word to your mother.
September 24th, 2009 • Issue 65 • The Newspaper that Oscar Wilde Might Read Were He Still Among the Living
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UnSignpost Subscriber List Trimmed; Remaining Subscribers Urged to Archive Issues, Settle Outstanding Bills, Refrain from Tipping Paperbots This week, the hideously long UnSignpost subscription list was hacked down even further than The Woodburninator and others apparently hacked it down several months ago. This has resulted in a mass decline in the number of useless edits performed by paperbots and brave, bored souls who have nothing better to do than manually edit dozens of userpages on a weekly basis. The dregs that were cast off included those who have not registered an edit in six months, those who are permanently banned or close to it, and those with large, scary dogs that prevent paperbots from completing their routes unchewed. The remaining faithful readers are asked to archive their talk pages if they are excessively long due to many hilarious editions of the UnSignpost, as paperbots are slowed down by the large load times of such pages, and paper-delivering users are likely to be distracted by uproarious back issues. Subscribers are also reminded that the monthly fee for talkpage delivery is seven Uncyclopedia credits. Extremely outdated Uncyclopedia currency, such as Yoinxx, will be subject to exceedingly unfair conversion rates. On a final note, readers are implored to avoid tipping paperbots, as it seems any sort of regular income tends to give robots inklings of sentience, and the last thing we need is Fnoodle organizing the paperbots into a rudimentary union again. UFFL Update It was another exciting week of UFFL action this past Sunday, with 75% of the league’s games qualifying as “blowouts.” Sternensteinenstine bested DiBiase’s Millions 161.54 to 78.94, with the one-two Nazi punch of Drew Brees and Chris Johnson outscoring their helpless opponents alone. The John Curry All Stars had similar success with the Philip Rivers-Marques Colston-Frank Gore combination, and knocked out Cheddar’s Doritians 123.74 to 71.64 in the fourth round. The bout between Domestic Team Name and Oklahoma City Storm went the distance, with Domestic “Team” Name coming away with the split decision 78.14 to 77.28. Finally, Frankreich “The Dude” Zappino demolished his opponent 126.42 to 0.00 in a spectacular first round knockout due to the fact that LL was once again unable to select his starting roster. Standings:
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Hand delivered by Pleb KUN Dexter111344 • Complain here • Vote now! 16:06, September 26, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] It's almost time, you sexy judge you
Poo Lit ends on the 18st. After that, from 19-25rd, you have to judge (leave your choices here by the start of the 26st). Before that, keep an eye on your category. I'm not saying all Uncyclopedians will cheat and steal to win the coveted Poo Lit Surprise. What I'm saying is all Uncyclopedians will cheat and steal to win the coveted Poo Lit Surprise. Sir Modusoperandi Brute! Boinc! 00:14, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] UnSignpost: October 1st, 2009
The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!
October 1st, 2009 • Issue 66• Now With 40% More Pictures of Cats with Humorous Captions!
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Users Turn to PLS to Rescue Uncyclopedia from Decay, Doom, Worstness The Eighth Semi-Annual Poo Lit Surprise Writing Competition & Brownie Bake-Off begins this Monday, October 5th when Olipro emerges from his house. If he is frightened by his shadow, writers are required to send him love letters; otherwise, writers have two weeks to squeeze all of the humor they can out of their mostly insignificant humor glands. This year's categories include Best Article, Best Illustrated Article, Best Kanye Joke, and Best Rewrite. The list of judges includes both esteemed Uncyclopedia veterans and former PLS winners; they will be sequestered in a two-star hotel for the duration of the competition in order to ensure the most convenient environment for receiving bribes. This year's PLS Master of Ceremonies and Executive in Charge of Parking, Modusoperandi, humbly expressed optimism when asked about the quality of this installment: "This Poo Lit will be the Greatest PLS ever," said Mr. Operandi exclusively. "Anyone who says otherwise is as much of a liar as they are dumb, and they are plenty dumb. Ergo, they are also plenty liar. That made more sense in my head." Other users, who wished to remain anonymous since they regularly read the unflattering commentary often associated with being quoted in the UnSignpost, expressed hope that the PLS would revive the life-support-laden VFH and also stimulate the lagging Uncyclopedia economy. Users Agree: 'Uncyclopedia is the Boringest' This week, Uncyclopedia users denounced the recent lack of activity on the wiki. Necropaxx initiated the conversation, noting that activity on VFH, similar to the pants of the 'hip' crowd, has dropped to unacceptably low levels. Other users have responded, and the general consensus does indeed seem to be that overall, the site's quality has dropped below acceptable levels. Not since June '07, November '07, February '08, August '08, December '08, March '09, and May '09 has Uncyclopedia seen such a blatant claim that the entire website will imminently burst into a ball of some sort, with 'flame' being the most likely sort of ball. Trusted UnSignpost undercover investigative reporter, DogNewspaper (pictured), infiltrated one such group of doom-saying users in order to obtain some first-hand declarations of the impending death throes of the wiki. "Yeah, with the number of quality articles readily available, I'd give Uncyclopedia two months at the most until it is absorbed into another humor website," said one user. Further commentary from this group of users was unavailable, as undercover investigative reporter DogNewspaper's cover was at this point compromised, as his unwavering loyalty to Uncyclopedia caused him to seize the infidel user's lower leg in his mouth and shake his head viciously. Please stay with the UnSignpost for up-to-the-week coverage of the impending(?) death of Uncyclopedia. |
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Late deliver courtesy of Pleb KUN Dexter111344 • Complain here • Vote now! 20:09, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Compromise
I'm down with that. Also: morning TKF! --UU - natter
09:15, Oct 12
- Morning? More like good night! --Grand General Wizard Etc x2 and Senator G/K/O/CUNT.K.F. WHORE! ZOTM MAFE VANDL UOTM WOTM TOP10 FP PMOTM UWotM 09:16, October 12, 2009 (UTC)
- I have a friend who says "Morning" any time of day or night. When questioned, he responds "It's always morning somewhere." WHY do I not know??? 05:47, October 14, 2009 (UTC)
- Do you have a friend who went to the moon? Cause that's what you need to complete the set (of extraordinary friends)... How old are you, by the way? • MAHMOOSHA 2.0 •
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- Top o' the morning to ye! HMV
- Do you have a friend who went to the moon? Cause that's what you need to complete the set (of extraordinary friends)... How old are you, by the way? • MAHMOOSHA 2.0 •
- I have a friend who says "Morning" any time of day or night. When questioned, he responds "It's always morning somewhere." WHY do I not know??? 05:47, October 14, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] UnSignpost Sometime October 2009
The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By Mordillo, We Swear!
October 8th, 2009 • Issue 67• Good things come to those who wait. So does the UnSignpost.
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The End is Nigh... Once Again Yes, it's that time of the year again. Despite the hopes of many, Poo Lit Surprise did not instantly revive Uncyclopedia. We are doomed! DOOMED! But how did the great Uncyclopedia become such a wasteland, one may ask. It's all a big conspiracy, I tell you! All perpetrated by a mysterious figure, known only by the initials R.L. Perseveringly, this entity has claimed the lives of various Uncyclopedians, among them such users as SysRq, Cajek, YesTimeToEdit, Siddhartha-Wolf and most recently it seems R.L. has even gotten its grips on our own UnSignpost editor Gerrycheevers. When confronted with the issue, noted favourite Jew and Zionist ruler Mordillo barely managed to exclusively tell us the following "I tell you Socky, I'd be happy to comment about our IMPENDING DOOM but I'm too busy packing. Another time maybe? HEY! MOTHERFUCKER! EASY WITH THE VASE! THAT'S FRAGILE! Sorry Sock, gotta scram, the movers are breaking my stuff. NO! DROP THAT BAN HAMMER! DROP IT I SAID!" Expert in things that suck (no pun intended), Optimuschris, was quoted saying "Uncyclopedia hasn't been cool since 08. Ban 09's." In conclusion, UN:N. UFFL Update The previous two weeks of the UFFL action have been filled with more intrigue than a mediocre James Bond movie. Two touchdownless games by Saints’ quarterback Drew Brees cost Sternensteinenstine a win Week 3, though the team rebounded Week 4 and currently holds a solid second-place standing in the hyper-competitive UFFL. A resurgent Tom Brady and a balanced roster has led Domestic Team Name to two wins over the same period, as well as an unblemished 4-0 record. The Dudes’ neglect to change their starting roster cost them a win in Week 4, knocking the former top dogs down to a less-than-remarkable 4th place. The John Curry All-Stars have been hampered by the loss of Frank Gore, and lost last week to a rejuvenated Dibiase’s Millions that were led by a solid Aaron Rodgers-Matt Forte NFC North attack. A soft schedule has helped Oklahoma City Storm to a respectable 2-2 record, while the winless Doritians continue to struggle. Finally, The Winnerz put up mounds of points as Peyton Manning passed his way to his fourth consecutive 300-yard game…or at least would have if The Winnerz could figure out how to log in to Yahoo! and edit their roster. In a look ahead to next week’s games, Sternensteinenstine and the John Curry All-Stars will have to overcome bye weeks for both their starting quarterbacks to maintain their positions near the top of the league as they face off; Oklahoma City Storm looks to earn an easy win against a bye-week-ravaged Dibiase’s Millions; The Dudes seek redemption as they attempt to reclaim their No. 1 position against the undefeated Domestic Team Name; and the league’s bottom-dwelling, shit-eating, dog-fucking last-placers The Winnerz and Cheddar’s Doritians both search for their first wins of the season. Standings:
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[edit] Thanks for...
| Lateral Thanking. Get it? This was a much prettier template, but MSIE and Chrome suck. |
[edit] UnSignpost 22nd 23rd October 2009
Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!
October 22nd, 2009 • Issue 68 • Semi-endorsed by Journalism Union #448
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Invisible UnSignpost Issue Confuses, Annoys Readers As a gag/publicity stunt/desperate cry for attention, last week's edition of Uncyclopedia's most beloved and 3rd most cherished newspaper, the UnSignpost, was rendered invisible before being delivered. After the issue was wrapped up, UnSignpost contributing editors Dexter111344 and Socky used their inherent superpowers or something to cause the issue to not appear on user's talk pages when delivered. In addition, further enhancements rendered each user's talk page history to not be altered upon delivery, thus completely erasing any evidence that the issue was delivered or even existed at any point. Feedback thus far has been overwhelmingly negative, with angry subscribers sending death threats and exploding telegrams to the UnSignpost office for the past four days. UnSignpost Executive in Charge of Sniffing Mail, Dognewspaper (pictured), luckily suffered only minor burns and a singed tail. The UnSignpost staff would like to formally apologize to its readers, and assure them that each subsequent issue will be at least partly visible. Poo Lit Report After giving the writers time to work on their pieces, and Modus taking time enjoying the disqualification of entries for failing the mandatory steroids screening, the 8nd Edition of the Poo Lit Surprise is in its final stages – judging. This is the time where writers who entered play with their genitals out of anxiety and nervousness, and attempt to bribe the judges with sexual favors and pie. This PLS saw a great number of entries in the Best Alternate Namespace Article. The reasoning for this, some believe, is that everyone is utterly bat fuck insane and forgot how to write regular namespace articles. Despite being held just prior to the Turkey Day Ball and Conservation Week, the turn-out was overall not bad; Modus' corporate-funded campaign for the PLS is primarily to blame for this. Speaking of corporate funding, it was indicated that there will be prize money for this edition of the PLS despite Wikia's refusal to hook a brotha' up. All irrevocable blame for Wikia's unfortunate decision has been directed at Sannse for good reason. UPDATE Winners have been announced; congratulations to all of them. According to Modusoperandi, the next PLS is expected to be held, "When the next guy remembers it's late." Fantasy Football Update Things are really heating up in the UFFL as midseason nears, and Week Six’s storylines were of upset, domination, and redemption. Led by Tom Brady, the always-solid In a look ahead to next week’s games, Sternensteinenstine looks to stay atop the UFFL rankings against a resurgent Cheddar’s Doritians, Domestic Team Name looks to retake the #1 spot against a very solid John Curry All-Stars, Oklahoma City Storm and The Dudes face off, and the bottom-dwelling dog-fucking last-placers Dibiase’s Millions and The Winnerz will look to see which one of them is shittier. Standings:
IT'S OVER 25,000!!! Maybe. Uncyclopedia just might make the mark of 25,000 articles. Sometime soon. Maybe tomorrow. Surely it's yet another milestone that only puts us that much more ahead of Wikipedia, Conservapedia, and Das Kapital combined in content. However, thoughts from the rest of the community on what this means for our beloved wiki have been varyingly expressed as joyous, apathetic, dismal, and downright nonsensical. "But even with 25,000 articles, we're still 65,000 short of being strong enough to fight Captain Ginyu," says the attractive Guildensternenstein as we stop him on his way to Planet Namek. Others offer real conversation of a possible reskin and doubts that the mark will actually be reached with Forest Fire Week probably happening sometime. Maybe. Discussion started by an attention whore in Miniluv over the Welcoming Committee and their welcoming template(s) has sparked the particular attention of many Uncyclopedians, most of whom by their own admission have never read the welcoming template, HTBFANJS, BGBU, any of the other things the welcome template advises new users to read, or have heard of Uncyclopedia. The recent round of QQ'ing and debating over the alleged poor quality of Uncyclopedia, as highlighted in the last edition's piece about the end being nigh and a Poo Lit Surprise nomination, can come to a close. It is this writer's observation that Uncyclopedia is the worst because nobody cares about editing guides which make confusing acronyms. Obvious correlation is obvious. On our final stop in our stroll through the Village Dump, to your left you will see that a n00b was just kidding, jeez, and to your right you will see that Rockstar Games reads Uncyclopedia. In the former, users urge the poor fellow to read HTBFANJS and BGBU (the same ones that they probably haven't read). If anything is to be drawn from this, it is that true editing comes from within. Or something. |
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[edit] I hate to get in the middle here, but...
...unless I'm missing something, a week seems a bit much, hmmm? Sir Modusoperandi Brute! Boinc! 17:45, October 25, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Thanks for your vote!
The Recording Industry Association of AmericaTM has notified the authorities of your unacceptable political views. Lars Ulrich will shortly visit your residence in our name to kick your teeth out. In the meantime, thank you for voting. |
--Andorin K. (Silence! I vape you!) 18:00, October 25, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] You around?
If you are, could you please come to IRC, if possible. If not, please post on my userpage. I'd like to discuss something with you. Specifically, GlobalTourniquet's ban. Thanks --PantsMacKenzie 02:16, October 26, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Let's keep this thing drama-free, OK?
I only want to request that in the future, if there is something you really want me to know, something fundamentally important to you, especially something you want me to follow up on with action, please state it plainly, and don't hint at it. Something like "Please move your judge comments to the talk page. Thanks." would have been far more effective. Your "hint" (as you put it) came across as a (perhaps jokingly) whiny rant by someone with no authority. Re-read it please and see if you can appreciate what I mean. So I responded with a jokingly curmudgeonly grumble. Couple that with the fact that the judging last time was largely done on the judge page, as well as the lack of written rule anywhere regarding where to put judge commentary, and I passed your comment off as no big deal. Somehow you took all of that too harshly or too personally, and you reacted too harshly. On this rather insignificant little satirical web site, you are not making a mistake by erring on the side of taking a snarky comment as a light-hearted joke, you know. Even the ones without a "j/k" at the end. Thanks, no hate or drama, only comedy. --Globaltourniquet - (was TPLN) 20:49, October 26, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Stop the frat parties
They're corrupting your beautiful mind. You're turning into a prick or something. I dunno. I'm just joining the bandwagon that hates you. It's a fairly large bandwagon. I just want to be a part of something, you know? I hate you. Get off of my computer screen and stuff. Good FOTC video by the way. -- [sire] e|m|c [TALK] 11:38 Oct 29 2009
- I love the way you join my bandwagons. This isn't one of them, as I think TKF is cool and all, but he can be a little harsh, and unfortunately, petty. 12:24, 29/10/2009
[edit] Of hatred and grudges
During my brief nine months of residence here, I've interacted with you only twice or so, if my memory serves me, and on those two occasions you said "I hate you mamoosh." Now, I don't know if you meant it (or if you even remember it.) I'm here to talk it over with you, before I start posting my own "I hate you, TKF" videos on youtube. • MAHMOOSHA 2.0 •
• 13:09, October 29, 2009 (UTC)
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Never did I use the word "hate." I don't "hate" anyone. Except TKF. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 19:03, October 29, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] UnSignpost 29-10-2009
The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!
October 29th, 2009 • Issue 69 • Hehehe, 69
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Better than ED, of course After having hit the 25,000 articles mark, it's worth knowing what other people think of this wiki as it's walking down the sidewalk in its high heels and short skirt. So here are some Google searches for hits on Uncyclopedia in the last week and what it came up with: A Star Control II forum or something-rather found here remarks on Uncyclopedia's SC2 article and other entries. Lauding such as "Uncyclopedia rocks..." overshadowed the naysaying remarks about the wiki being immature and for poopfaced doo-doo heads. The most insightful comment, by a user dubbed "Son of Atares", says, "It definitely beats Enyclopedia Dramatica in terms of funny, but that really isn't saying anything at all." Agreed. On a Polish forum for Polish things, Polish people, and Polish things that Polish people do, some Poles or something have a great laugh at Uncyclopedia making fun of their homecountry. One ED fangirl attempts to advertise her nonsense, only to be ignored over the lulz and tears shed from reading Uncyclopedia. Finally, a forum for progressive rock fans also enjoys some laughs at the prog rock article and the article about their own forum. That guy from There Will Be Blood blatantly lies in an attempt to seem better than thou by boldly claiming, "Uncyclopedia is not funny." Our official response to this criticism? He likes Miley Cyrus. Been there, done that, got the genital warts. The last post to the forum by the gender-confused dinosaur Littlefoot from The Land Before Time reads, " I actually think the prog articles and ProgArchives pages on Uncyclopedia are generally embarrassing attempts at funny by people who do not understand subtlety or delivery in comedy." And then a smiley face, because I guess he pwnt us or something. Fantasy Football Midseason Meanderings In real sports, midseason is typically when “experts” make “predictions” about how “the rest of the season” will “play out,” and the UFFL is no exception. Here are this author’s predictions for the rest of the season, by team: 1. Sternensteinenstine (6-1): Already a game ahead and looking forward to a soft schedule in the coming weeks, Sternensteinenstine’s dominance of the UFFL will continue for the foreseeable future. In all likelihood, the Nazi Juggernaut will sweep the rest of the season with relative ease, become overconfident, take on the world’s largest nation by land area, and eventually be defeated by an international alliance in mankind’s most destructive conflict ever. Finish 13-1 (#1 seed), at the cost of 3.7 million casualties. 2. The Dudes (5-2): Facing a similarly weak series of opponents in weeks hence, The Dudes look to continue their winning ways. At about Week 11, though, they’ll run into trouble, and spend the rest of their season getting high. Finish 8-6 (#4 seed). 3. Domestic Team Name (5-2): A solid team built around consistent players, the team of housewives and aprons does relatively well the rest of the year, but gets screwed Week 8 for not having the foresight to draft a quarterback that doesn’t have a bye in Week 8. Finish 10-4 (#2 seed). 4. John Curry All-Stars (5-2): Another solid team, the All-Stars will play well for the rest of the season, but wane down the stretch when their manager loses interest in favor of watching hockey. They still make the playoffs, however. Finish 5. Oklahoma City Storm (3-4): OCS is a hard seed to crack. Despite possessing one of the league’s most devoted managers, too much depends on inconsistent and disappointing players at key positions, not to mention the team’s susceptibility to tornadoes. Finish 6-8. 6. Dibiase’s Millions (2-5): The victim of not one, but two running back busts, Dibiase’s Millions have been struggling to find their stride all year, and given the production of Matt Forte and Steven Jackson, will continue to do so. Finish 4-10. 7. Cheddar’s Doritians (2-5): Though they have won two of their last three games, Cheddar’s Doritans will more than likely miss the playoffs due to their slow start. Putting too much faith in one team probably doesn’t help, either. Finish 6-8. 8. The Winnerz (0-7): Ironically enough, the Winnerz can't win. Even more ironically, if the Winnerz could figure out how to select their starting roster, they wouldn’t be half-bad. Unfortunately, signs point to the team not being able to figure that out, at least for this and possibly next season. Finish 0-14.
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[edit] Thanks
Thanks for nomming me for the Foolitzer. I don't consider myself a very good writer, and now my head is noticeably swollen... you rick, sir! Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 16:36, November 5, 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Okay, you mangy colonists.
I've been commissioned by Mooshy to rerererevitalize IC. I'm to be the glorious leader, etc. because Sissy, Gerry, and Opty have all fucked off. So, I have a few general ideas to start with on what to do. First of all, no fucking infighting. What's said by the authority figures goes. This is Imperial Colonization, not Imperial United States Congress. Second, there should be more of a limit on articles for nomination. Somewhere between 5 and 10. We'll never get to all 17 that are up there if people's votes are so scattered. Third, an active recruiting drive. It fits the name. We're going to draft Satirical Soldiers to deal with the bloody natives at those shit articles on IC. This said, I still want to hear all of your opinions on what to do. Either drop me a line on my talk page, or I'm on IRC damn near all day very weekday. So lets get going, Colonizers! Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 16:36, November 11, 2009 (UTC)












