User talk:The Woodburninator

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edit Hey fuck you! You don't get off that easy.

You edited or something. That means you're still alive. That means I'm going to pester you until you acknowledge my existance. At least you have that to look forward to. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN00:27, 11 Jul

Oh, thank God you are still around. The forums have been a veritable bloated-horse-cock sandwich without you. Yes, I came back because of an article idea, played around with a PLS, and now decided to stay. You? I've been spending too much of my time on IRC lately if you ever get on. The Woodburninator Wood burning Minimal Effort  01:30, July 11, 2012 (UTC)

edit You foo'

Imma' gonna cut you in your sleep! It is a good nomination though...--Sycamore (Talk) 09:13, July 12, 2012 (UTC)

edit Boners!

~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 05:11, July 13, 2012 (UTC)

edit Boners?

Are you sure it should be "synonymous", rather than "eponymous"? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSun, Jul 15 '12 16:18 (UTC)

No, you're right. I accidentally edited off of an old version of it, and deleted what you had done. I fixed it though. The Woodburninator Wood burning Minimal Effort  19:03, July 15, 2012 (UTC)
Cool. Happens all the time these days. Edit-conflict-handling seem to break randomly. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usMon, Jul 16 '12 11:08 (UTC)

edit You

I thought that's who it was, and I was right. I seem to remember you being somebody I liked. That's probably a good thing. See you in about another year! --UU - natter UU Manhole 20:05, Jul 16

That sounds like me. Good guy, very likable, charming good looks, man-about-town. Yes, all me. Are you off hiding, spending time with your "children" or whatnot? The Woodburninator Wood burning Minimal Effort  20:18, July 16, 2012 (UTC)
"Yes", "I" "am". "And" "you"? --UU - natter UU Manhole 17:32, Jul 22
Good. I came back to write for this Horrible Awesome Terrible site again. I remembered why I liked it in the first place. I get to make fun of stupid Admins and the fact that they have stupid kids. Not that I know if your kids are unintelligent or anything... Just thinking that your own stupidness (verified by the fact that you edit here) was passed down to them. So, I suppose it is more a comment on you than your stupid kids. So, planning on being around for a few minutes a week than? The Woodburninator Wood burning Minimal Effort  18:40, July 22, 2012 (UTC)
Admins? I think you got me confused with someone else... I actually turned in my ops in the hope that not having the temptation to ban and delete and stuff would help me concentrate on writing during my few minutes a week. No such luck. Having two bairns is a full-time job. A few minutes a week would be a luxury! So yeah, admins have stupid kids. All of 'em! 'Dillo doesn't count 'cos he's a 'crat and he's never here.My non-admin kids, though, are already funnier and far smarter than their old man (not exactly a feat these days). How come you ended up here again? And how is the real world treating you? --UU - natter UU Manhole 17:45, Jul 23
Well, I came back because I was bored, and had something to write. I put it into PLS, and it came in second, and.... I don't know. I just remembered that I like this whole writing thing. I appreciate both the freedom to write what I want, along with the structure that this place can provide when necessary. In the real world, I'm freshly married. That whole thing is going very well. Although, who knew that mail-order brides could be so eager to break free and run away?! She's great!!! I'm still looking for a big-boy job, so hopefully one day that'll happen. Do you still talk to the old Spinning Jew-Star? The Woodburninator Wood burning Minimal Effort  03:42, July 26, 2012 (UTC)
I don't so much "talk to" the kosher chap as I "like and make flippant comments on photos of his kid on Facebook", which I think you'll agree amounts to much the same thing. Congratulations on the fresh marriage - and sincere best wishes for it to be of the long-lasting, fulfilling kind. Leave it a few years before the kids come along though, huh? Enjoy the freedoms you have, such as the freedom to go to sleep and wake up when you want (at weekends at the very least), and (if you are co-habiting) the freedom to shag in any room of the house. Ah, it's the simple pleasures you miss... Which is why I envy you re-discovering this site. I miss it like hell. I have, on average, two or three article ideas a week, and really want to get back to writing. I just never get a decent amount of time in between helping with feeds, settling kids to sleep, re-settling when they wake up, trying to sneak 5 minutes' quality time with the missus, and Skyrim. Actually, it's probably Skyrim that's mostly to blame, but I have responsibilities to those people, dammit - I'm the Dragonborn! Maybe I'll put up a few articles next PLS, although I doubt it. --UU - natter UU Manhole 20:48, Jul 26

edit You


Good Lord. I hope you meant right now. Because I just woke up from sleeping. Now. The Woodburninator Wood burning Minimal Effort  16:33, July 22, 2012 (UTC)

edit Martin Luther King, Jr.

PurpleDickVote Boner.Fuck you very much. I disavow myself from your Martin Luther King article, which had to be heavily edited and changed for it to be made a feature. I was going to take it off my feature list in the Hall of Shame when I noticed you had already done that. Please do not return it to my list. This page has been cited by outside sources as one of the worse pages on uncy. I only got involved in it after I had nommed it for Votes for Deletion and then TFK (I think) nommed it for Feature, so I tried to make it presentable. Again, please do not associate me with the page. Best wishes, Aleister 16:05 July 25, 2012 (UTC)

Aside from your dickery, just about nothing you say here is correct. The article you nominated for deletion was the other MLK article, which did get deleted. The MLK article Woody wrote experienced no opposition on VFH and much of your heavier rewriting was done when the vote was already healthy, or already about to be featured. Lastly, you didn't disavow yourself from the article: Woody disavowed you from it. --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 18:07, July 25, 2012 (UTC)
I don't think anything constructive can proceed the phrase "fuck you very much" Ali. I've never seen you be so nasty to another user. Woodburninator is a really helpful and nice uncyclopedian. I think you've either had a snap defensive reaction to someone elses actions, of which their intention you did not understood...or you are kind of joking somehow and we didn't see the humour. --ShabiDOO 18:15, July 25, 2012 (UTC)
Aleister, I understand your anger with me, and I am sorry I didn't come to you first about this. I had issues with what went down with that page/feature, and I made changes to it. I was away when it got featured, so I couldn't make any comments about it at the time, but I will try to explain myself here.
The point of the article was, at no point in time, to be a racist prick. Martin Luther King is probably the best role-model this country has had in since Lincoln. He did, and said all the right things all the time, and what happened to him (both his assassination and the racism he was forced to stand against) was, without a doubt, one of the worst, most embarrassing things America has been apart of. To write an article satirizing him is near impossible. Absolutely no one in this country with any sense says bad things about King. This includes Fox News, and almost all of the Right-Wing commentators out there. To do so is almost political suicide. So, when I wrote the article, the Narrator had to be off his rocker. He downplays everything good about King, and absolutely makes things up about him. Any normal person reading the article should understand that all of this stuff is absolute BS, mixed in with virulent racism because any person saying these things about King would most likely be the worst of the worst kind of racist. He lies to bring the subject down, and he absolutely believes his own words. It was telling to me that he didn't even realize the one besmirch on King's otherwise flawless resume; The fact that he cheated on his wife with multiple women. He doesn't attack from that angle because he is more interested in the ridiculous notions that he made up.
Now, originally I saw the message you left on my talk page, assumed you had changed it up a bit, got it VFH'd and featured. I even wrote a message on your talk page saying how cool it was. I, at that time, did not read the article, as I had just stopped by to see if I had any messages. When I returned for good I actually read it, and as you obviously know I wasn't a fan of the changes. For me, the article lost a lot of what it was trying to do, it had lost a lot of its funny, and some Name-Droppy Politicization was added. These changes, in my opinion, took much more away from the article than added to it. But, again, at this time, my assumptions of how things had happened over-rid my dislike of what the article had become, so I didn't do anything about it. However, later it was brought to my attention that I should look back on the old VFH page, which I did, as well as the article's history, which I did. I also looked up the old VFD page where the other page had been deleted. What I saw very much bugged me. I saw that you put a fix tag on the page, which in and of itself, wasn't a problem. You didn't like the page, and you had every right to voice that concern. The page then lost the fix tag, and TKF put it up on VFH. Again, two people with differing opinions. If the page, on VFH, had failed horribly, and people voiced the same concerns as you, the fix tag should have been put back on it, and things about it changed. However, the article passed VFH without any Against votes. You, yourself voted for it. From what I can see, it got one Abstain from Romartus (Who didn't like the narrator's first-dumbass routine) and a comment from Nikau that he (she? I don't know Nikau very well.) didn't like the way it ended. At this point in time the article was already doing well on VFH, again in part to your vote. However you took that one comment (Along with several off-site comments, which, while mentionable, don't carry much weight here in my opinion. Our pages and features are created and voted on by the community. There are a ton of our articles that the outside world would not appreciate.) and changed the article to suit what made you feel more comfortable, the whole time disparaging both me, and the article that I had written. This continued, and just before it was featured, you "accept" half-credit for something that you obviously did not like, and just days earlier had vowed "I don't and won't take credit for this page, yech..." Upon seeing this, I decided that the page was needing a change, so I changed it. I did not come to you at the time because doing so would have been a show of respect towards you that you had in no way, at any point in time during your constant bashing, editing, and apologizing for the article, shown me. In fact, I would say quite the opposite.
I see now that it was a mistake to have proceeded without contacting you, however I was angry at the time, and feared that anything I would have written to you would have made me seem like a condescending prick. The reason I deleted the page from your features is because I assumed (Quite rightly I would say) that in the state the page is currently in, you would not want your name associated with it, just as I did not want my name associated with the page following your edits, and I did not feel that it was deserved. If I was out of line for doing so, again, that was my mistake. All this being said, I do hope there are no long-term hard feelings from this. The Woodburninator Wood burning Minimal Effort  19:41, July 25, 2012 (UTC)
Also, now just seeing your message on the MLK talkpage, I will say that I did not simply revert all of your changes back to the older version. Some of the new things written were better in terms of grammar, spelling, formatting, and prose. I didn't delete any of this, as it was something that genuinely made the article better. The Woodburninator Wood burning Minimal Effort  19:46, July 25, 2012 (UTC)
Friday Ice Cube Chris Tucker Stencil --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 07:22, July 26, 2012 (UTC)

Blow me (the good way). You Woody, are right, and TFK is right that I was a dick. It's all your page, although I voted for it only in hopes to fix it to my liking and accent the FOX News angle and Bill O'Reilly as the voice of the page. Now for the TFK stuff. I did take my name off the page upon seeing the changes and before I knew that Woody had already removed it. Calling me a liar does not go down well (although I do). When I went to take it off my Hall of Shame list was when I saw that Woody had removed it from there, which made me mad as six hornets and that's why I came to this talk page. As for being a dick, yes, you are right - but here's the thing: I've banned myself in the past for being a dick. When I'm a dick I know it, and ban myself. You and the other admins, on the other hand, well, you can't be banned by others, only by yourself if and when you self-ban for being a dick. It's a good discipline to learn, imnho. Woody, again, I was wrong and you are right, and if Dr. King were alive he'd stomp your nuts. hahahahahahahahahahahaheeheeheeheehee huh? Aleister 15:40 8-7-'012

Al, I appreciate you being cool about this. I do apologize for stepping on your toes in regards to the page. As for your anger, like I said, I totally understand it. I wouldn't have banned you, but I don't have the powah of the admins. Now to put all this behind us, and go skipping through the fields! Look! A dandelion! The Woodburninator Wood burning Minimal Effort  16:33, August 7, 2012 (UTC)
Toe Salad

When you step on my toes you go all out! Ouch!!! Thanks for being cool as well. Dr. King no longer has toes, they were auctioned off by his money-hungry children. Al minutes later

edit This

Is still the most relevant thing I've read on Uncyc. ♥ One of these days we'll be on at the same time I swear. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN21:33, 11 Aug

edit Hey you

Are you Woody from the Greek Uncyclopedia?--Icons-flag-gr Sir Sinner blah blah 13:22, September 5, 2012 (UTC)

Hmm.... The question becomes how do you feel about the Woody from Greek Uncyclopedia? Is he funny?
But alas, no. I'm not. Not unless someone has been sharing my writings from the English one onto the Greek one, which is a possibility. Why do you ask? The Woodburninator Wood burning Minimal Effort  20:39, September 5, 2012 (UTC)
I though you were Woody from the Greek Uncyclopedia. If you wanna know Woody is one of the oldest members of Frikipaideia and he's quite funny.--Icons-flag-gr Sir Sinner blah blah 14:36, September 16, 2012 (UTC)
Ah. By association then, I am going to say you are calling me funny, since you mistook the two of us. I thank you for the compliment. Also, perhaps we Woodies are just naturally funny people. It's possible,with the names being a euphemism and whatnot, that growing up turned us into the over the top hilarious comedians that we are now. I'm not running too much with this, am I? The Woodburninator Wood burning Minimal Effort  04:03, September 17, 2012 (UTC)

edit  ;_;

I DIDN'T DO IT!!!!!! ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 22:36, September 15, 2012 (UTC)

OMG! TOTALLY YOUR FAULT! I SAW IT I SAW IT!!! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE AN ADMIN! MR-EX777 FOR ADMIN! The Woodburninator Wood burning Minimal Effort  01:11, September 16, 2012 (UTC)

edit Cough.

Cough. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Nov 6 '12 9:27 (UTC)

Cough Cough? Might want to try a lozenge. And please stop coughing at me. It's rude. The Woodburninator Wood burning Minimal Effort  13:51, November 6, 2012 (UTC)
There, see? Made you edit. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Nov 7 '12 6:26 (UTC)
I never said I wouldn't. Just gimme a reason. I haven't been able to write recently. But here I am. Editing like a motherfucker. You can ask me my thoughts and dreams. I'll reply. Maybe not to what you asked me. But something will probably be written. The Woodburninator Wood burning Minimal Effort  06:31, November 7, 2012 (UTC)
What are your thoughts and dreams? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Nov 7 '12 6:35 (UTC)
I try not to think too much about penis envy. As a man, I can't say I have ever had it, or know what it feels like. But those Penis dreams. Oh god those constant, neverending dreams about hard, throbbing cocks. Just.... So many cocks everywhere!!! I can't get away!!!! The Woodburninator Wood burning Minimal Effort  06:40, November 7, 2012 (UTC)
I find myself wondering if Androids Dream of Penis Monkeys from Outer Space. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Nov 7 '12 7:06 (UTC)
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