User talk:TheHumbucker

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edit Welcome!

Hello, TheHumbucker, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:TheHumbucker/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome! --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 04:22, June 1, 2011 (UTC)


edit Why?

Man, why did you remove my UnNew from the recnent news? Why?!! The god is angry, and it`s no good. I can see a dark and unhappy future for your head. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Sleeping Cat 13:13, 15 May, 2011 (UTC)

I removed your UnNews story from the Main Page box because, as UnNews, I didn't think it delivered, for several reasons. Firstly, it's about something that happened inside Uncyclopedia, which is blatantly self-serving and shouldn't have a place on the Main Page. UnNews is the place for news or fake news, not Uncyclopedia inside jokes about things no one else could possibly know about. Secondly, I didn't find it remotely funny. There really isn't a concept to the article and I couldn't isolate any jokes. Granted, I'm not someone who laughs out loud while reading, but I just found this story boring. Thirdly, it's poorly written; I had trouble figuring out what it was all about, and by the time I got to the end I was just confused. So I moved it out of the Main Page box because it doesn't merit the kind of exposure the Main Page gives and it makes the rest of the site look bad (we want new readers to stumble on our best pages so they keep coming back, and the Main Page is where they do the stumbling). I could've edited it, but that's what the last UnNews editor did and no one liked it very much. I also could've userspaced it but, well, same story on that.
If you have anything to add, please do so - I'm just beginning to get involved with editing the UnNews section of Uncyclopedia, and would love some feedback on my methods. But also know that I have no second thoughts about removing your story from the Main Page. ~ Humbuck Talk 16:43, 15 May 2011 (UTC)
Whee... Okay, I got the point. I suck at english... (Was that feedback enough?) Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Sleeping Cat 05:07, 16 May, 2011 (UTC)
And this... thing, was very similar with the Playstation network-thing or something. That Anonymous thing attacked against it, sented a similar message to them like in my story`s end, two of the guilty guys are now in cart, hopefully, and the whole group divided into two smaller groups because of that PSN-hackering. I hope it makes the page a bit clearer. After all, that story is just about some stupid inside-jokes and things that a normal person like you could`nt understand. At all. Anyway. I understand your point. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Sleeping Cat 05:12, 16 May, 2011 (UTC)
Glad to see we're in agreement, and that it's the cohesion of the story that could use some work, then. ~ Humbuck Talk 23:14, 16 May 2011 (UTC)

edit I disagree with your ED sentiment, and the bias that it presents. (Maybe. Who in the hell am I to levy such accusations your way?)

And if I were Modus I would immediately put up my ED template. But alas, I am not Modus, and putting up his ED template just wouldn't be right, you know what I mean, man? (Or woman? We just met, and I can't profess to know one way or the other.) I am not petty enough to put the pic back up, but I figured I could voice my displeasure in this hopefully un-dickish and drama-free way. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 06:48, May 17, 2011 (UTC)

I really appreciate the mature way you're going about this (like, seriously. You have no idea how refreshing I find it to have this discussion without, well, you know...).
Yes, I took the picture off of the front page UnNews box because I thought it was too much in the ED style and not enough in the Uncyclopedia vein. Call it biased because I really don't like ED's style of comedy, or call it unbiased because ED is pure shock comedy, while Uncyclopedia is meant to more satirical and subtle, and I found the photo to be a bit too heavy. That said, I thought the story itself was rather well done (which is why I only took the picture from the main page box and not the story itself), even if the attitude it satirizes is a bit dated. As much as I don't like comedy taking making the derogatory turn you made, it was effective and it fit in with the point you were making, which is what satire is all about.
One thing that I think would really work would be to remake the photo, take out the lettering and just have the original photo. Save that as a different file and then use that new one as the photo in the UnNews box. Leave the chopped version, the one you've got now, in the article itself. It would deliver your point effectively by not giving away the joke at the beginning with the photo you've got now. Let me know what you think, or just make the change and I'll assume that you've agreed. Or you could get some lunch first. If you grab lunch, can you pick me up a latte? No whip cream. ~ Humbuck Talk 20:09, 17 May 2011 (UTC)


edit Uh, ok.

My conversation with Lyrithia was over though. I am reading over my story. --PoopManPoop 21:01, May 17, 2011 (UTC)

Ahh, edit conflict. Sorry it took me so long to get this up. ~ Humbuck Talk 21:04, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Deranged scientist shocks world, himself

Thanks for the UnNews! Let's get right down to it, then...

First off, you got some nice distance out of this idea; 3 sizeable paragraphs all on one theme is pretty good. Props for that; a lot of newer contributors put like 5 lines in a story and run it out there and it pisses me off to no end. So good effort, and I appreciate that.

That said, it could still use some work. The grammatical errors are easily fixable and are really not a big deal. However, what I'm more concerned about is the article's concept. This is the theme of the article, it's what you're saying, it's the big joke of the piece. Here, you seem to be making fun of Stephen Hawking by... I think you're making him say evolution is a farce? It's kind of confusing; the little bits of humor are there - making the old Hawk a bad-ass and the other side jokes/one liners in the article - but the main piece of the article, the big concept that the other smaller elements of humor should be branching off from, just isn't well developed. Ask yourself What am I saying? and What is this about? while you rewrite the story. Think of this story as a tree; it's got a bunch of great branches, but there's no trunk.

I've taken the article down from the UnNews page and userspaced it so you can work on it without it being visible on the main site. I'm also watching the page to see what kind of progress you make. Feel free to ask questions here. ~ Humbuck Talk 21:04, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

Yeah. Thanks man. I know I didn't think of anything to be honest. I know it is supposed to be saying something. But it isn't. i just wrote a random news piece which would, you know, be 'very funny if it was real' concept. I am looking into the grammatical flaws as we're speaking though. Honestly I couldn't find a topic worth writing, so making up a completely random story really appealed, because I didn't really have anything else. What do you mean you userspaced it? One of these days somebody got to explain to me what userspace is, because the help article on it is really no help. How do I check what articles I have written? --PoopManPoop 21:22, May 17, 2011 (UTC)
I know it can be improved, but I am yet to have adequately learned how to. I can see some flaws too. Oh Blah! I will reread it and try to make it funnier. Thanks--PoopManPoop 21:32, May 17, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks a lot oh wise one. I will be in touch. Yours Truly 21:32, May 17, 2011 (UTC)
There's nothing wrong with random. Some of my favorite articles on the site are random. But managing to write a successful random article is a lot about just getting lucky, whereas writing a well done, satirical one is much more about the talent. And the beauty of UnNews is it doesn't even have to be real; some of my best stories are completely made up. My recommendation is to start by reading some actual news and find a story that you feel strongly about; use one as a starting point or inspiration and just go.
Coming back to your article, though... I'm going through the story and making some comments in the margins (I'm writing in italicized, bold font), asking questions and adding other suggestions to let you know how I'd recommend writing the story. Feel free to use or not use anything I say; it's still your story.
As for userspacing articles... Note how your story has "User:PoopManPoop/" and then the article name. If a page is a work in progress, always keep it in your userspace because as soon as you mainspace it, it can be read/judged by other users, regular readers, and admins. If it isn't up to snuff, it can be sent to VFD, where people vote on whether to delete it or not. By keeping a page in your userspace, you don't have to worry about other people and can just edit it on you own until you're satisfied with it. Add a link to the userspaced article on your user page so you can find it quick when you want to continue writing it. And if you want to create a userspace page, type "User:PoopManPoop/" and then the page name into the search field and say "create this page." Hope this helps, ~ Humbuck Talk 22:47, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

Uh, ok. But where are you leaving the comments? I am not able to see any. PoopManPoop 23:28, May 17, 2011 (UTC)

Again, sorry it took me so long. People pick the absolute worst time to suddenly need a ride to the hospital. ~ Humbuck Talk 03:23, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
Alright, I finally got my critique up. Unfortunately, because I had to leave in such a rush earlier and left the editing box open, we had an edit conflict when you made some changes to the article. What I ended up doing was basically reverting your minor changes to accommodate my critique so I didn't have to copy/paste a few dozen times. Basically the article is now my critique of your second-to-last draft. You can get back the changes you made earlier by (hopefully after reading my suggestions) going to the "history" tab and hitting the "undo" button next to my revision (summarized "Critique"). Sorry again for the awful timing of this whole thing and hopefully the comments help you out with the story, ~ Humbuck Talk 03:51, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
That review was pretty helpful and aye, now i see the flaws..I am going to make some changes. Thanks. And yeah, that was supposed to be my point yes, that Stephen Hawkings is as negligible in the larger scheme of things than the church or any other douchebag answer-giving establishment, though i didn't know how to put it in words then..Thanks i am working on it. and yes i did make some changes yesterday. Not big ones, but yeah. Thanks. I am on it..--PoopManPoop 12:43, May 18, 2011 (UTC)
Uh, excuse me. How the hell am i getting the move button on the top when I'm not yet 90 days and 100 edits old?..I'm in no way complaining but just asking..--PoopManPoop 12:52, May 18, 2011 (UTC)
I really don't know how long you have to have an account for to make the move button work; I just noticed that it was there one day. So congratulations, whatever level of achievement you needed to get it has been, well, achieved I guess. ~ Humbuck Talk 20:22, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
To be able to move pages, you have to be an autoconfirmed user, as is explained here and here. Schamschi, 15:06, May 28, 2011 (UTC)

edit The previous section is smothered to death

And also, that penguins are the last species on this planet after cows who would do something evil, so thats why i chose penguins. The very idea of them, and not aliens or goblins, conspiring against us struck me as pretty funny. I might be wrong, but thats why i chose penguins is what I am telling youPoopManPoop 15:51, May 18, 2011 (UTC)::

I re did the sotory. Tell me how it is now. PoopManPoop 18:02, May 18, 2011 (UTC)

I agree completely with the penguins idea - they're so unassuming that they must be plotting a world takeover.

Here's what I mean about a needlessly complex narrative, though: The setting for the action/story in your piece jumps around a lot, and in this case it's confusing to the reader. You can simplify it by stripping the logistics of your story to the bare essentials - all you really need to make this story work is an interview with Hawking.

My recommendation: Make the story a report of a lecture by Hawking. Set it in an auditorium or something like that. Bam, you never have to move the scene now. Get rid of the truck and put the penguins in a cage on stage and have Hawking recount his journey to Antarctica. Then have him turn to his maid and make his demands, completely forgetting that he's wearing a wireless mic. Then have a counter interview with the Pope, who weighs in to disagree with Hawking. It's trims down the scene changes, eliminates the need to waste space setting up a new location, minimizes reader confusion as they adapt to a new setting and makes the story read more like news. ~ Humbuck Talk 20:37, 18 May 2011 (UTC)

How do I put that robotic check mate scene in a speech?--PoopManPoop 21:36, May 18, 2011 (UTC)
Some people read while on the can. Hawking would totally play chess. ~ Humbuck Talk 21:39, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
Yeah he has his chair to make the robotic sound too.:D--PoopManPoop 21:41, May 18, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:10, 19 May 2011

edit Nope

No I don't think I would be able to accommodate all the best jokes in the article into the speech theme. Lets go about it another way. I am working on coherence first, to make all the scenes bled into each other. Letssee. --PoopManPoop 15:24, May 19, 2011 (UTC)

And also I would like to write an article about the supposed rupture on this 21, or 22. Lets see how that goes.--PoopManPoop 15:43, May 19, 2011 (UTC)
I am unable to write the article because i dont know how to start it as i couldnt find any news which directly quotes a speech. I don't think I can improve on this article because I don't know how to start. You want to do a collab with me on it or something?--PoopManPoop 16:26, May 21, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hello Humby

Congrats on getting the UnNews czar job as successor to Spike. Personally, I think Spike will be one of those lurkers who shows up every 8 months to say a brief 'hi'. It was his time to go, after ZB scared him off. Anyways, that's not why i'm here. I was wondering if I can be your appointed assistant to the UnNews, i'm pretty good with formatting, and i'm starting to get good with coding. Would you like an assistant? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 00:49, 23 May 2011

No. We've got a committee kind of thing running and all the slots are filled with users that have more than 19 UnNews edits. However, if you want to show off your formatting skills, take a peek at the list of ugly pages that we've got and give them a whirl. ~ Humbuck Talk 02:18, 23 May 2011 (UTC)
Committee, WTF? And there is no UnNews czar. SPIKE was and hopefully will be a good editor for the page, but when people went against his views he seemed fine with it, although he put in his two or twelve cents (when he had them). And who is the committee, where did it come from all of two suddens, etc. More data please. That all said, you will probably do a great job, I have no doubt of that, but please remember the wikihood of this site. If Lollipop or someone has "offered" to "help" on a wikiproject, it's his right to do what he can until crushed like a bug, which I agree he should be. And I answered your note on my talk page too. Thanks. Aleister 3:30 24-5-'11
p.s. Scanning the above, lots of PoopManPoop stuff! Nice work in guiding a new user! Tedious, though, but someone has to do it.
Yeah he's been shit helpful man. Hey check the penguin article again. I took an other direction altogether which i thought would be better.--PoopManPoop 15:19, May 24, 2011 (UTC)
And i put the 21 year old poses as newborn article on VFH. With some changes of course. PoopManPoop 16:04, May 24, 2011 (UTC)
Good work on the penguin article. I think the new direction could definitely work out, and looks like it will if you keep it going the way you have it right now. Also, general rule of thumb, self nominations for VFH are typically frowned upon. It's up there now, though, so let's see how it plays out, but don't have too high expectations (and in the future, don't let on that you'll "accept feedback" for a VFH nom; if you're putting it up for featuring, let on that it's as good as you could possibly make it). ~ Humbuck Talk 18:52, 24 May 2011 (UTC)
But the guide on VFH said that self voting is allowed as well as encouraged. That's why i did too. And Everybody else is doing it on other VFH nominations too. And yeah, i didn't know if asking for feedback is also looked down upon. That was a mistake i should have thought of. I anyway am not looking for anything spectacular to happen. But at least some appreciation you know. It's my first thing after all :D --PoopManPoop 18:57, May 24, 2011 (UTC)
Self voting is fine, but self nominating tends to get you frowns. That said, the nom is going pretty well. ~ Humbuck Talk 20:17, 24 May 2011 (UTC)
Tottallllyyyy wrong. Self noms are perfectly fine and encouraged. What you have to do. though,. for a self nom, is to put your page on pee review and then hopefully act on the review. If nobody reviews within seven days you can self-nom, but then you take the chance that any crapiness not handled from a pee review will be spotted and shat upon by the voters. But it's fine and encouraged to self nom. Aleister 20:25 24-5-'11
Yeah I have done all of that, acted on the review, improved it as per Magic man, the reviewer and all that shit. and yeah, TheHumbucker it is going well i guess. Let's hope a lotta people vote, f they find it worthwhile, of course. Thanks :)--PoopManPoop 20:42, May 24, 2011 (UTC)
Nice page, actually. Some articles flow pretty quickly, and others can be polished for months or even years (Funnybony edits some of his pages over decades!). Sometimes an article has to go through a few feature noms and a couple of pee reviews before it gets votes. I've found that I go back and look at my early pages and can easily improve them, so the art of writing on this wiki tends to aim towards improvement and learning as you write more and read other people's pages. The nomming process is condusive to both self and other-user noms. I used to have a personal policy of nomming one of my own and someone else's page at nearly the same time, and it's nice to see your noms of other users pages go through (especially if they are close to a Hall of Shame entrance, something else I used to look for). Nowadays I just nom my own stuff and to hell with everyone else, but that's only after they all ganged up on me and pantsed me in front of my mother, who then took advantage of the situation. It was horrible, so I'm just gonna concentrate on trying to get a few features from now on, and my mom can satisfy herself with my brothers and sisters. Aleister 21:04 24-5-'11


Yeah i know i am looking for articles in bad shape but a strong concept too. And hey, I know it's someone else's article but that someone else hasn't been around for years now and I wrote nearly all of it. So I am going to pretend it's my article except for the concept. You know not to get in a row with admins or anything, but yeah, you get what I am saying right. It's my baby

P.S. TheHumbucker: Didn't you like the article?. Do you have something I can change in it? To make it better or somming? Because you and magic man were the only people on whose direction I made the changes. --PoopManPoop 12:28, May 25, 2011 (UTC)

edit Phnerb unsignpost

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:21, May 26, 2011 (UTC)

edit George VI

Haha, I came by to vandal-police my old articles here and saw what you did... was about to revert, but then I started reading. It's pretty funny, laughed out loud several times. Not sure if you should stutterify the whole article though, that might be overkill. I wrote that long before King's Speech anyway so the reference is very fitting. Good stuff --GeorgeRI.jpg» His Majesty King George VI (the boxes) SpacerSpacerSpacerSpacerSpacerSpacerIcons-flag-gb 30px-Coatsmxa.pngSpacerSpacerSpacerIcons-flag-usSpacerSpacerSpacer 00:40, May 26, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you. I intend to add a quick little section where he sees a speech therapist and the stuttering starts going away, but haven't gotten there, yet (as you can tell, I'm working in inconveniently short bursts on it). ~ Humbuck Talk 03:03, 26 May 2011 (UTC)

edit Bjork

I know, the thankless job you've taken (thanks} is like herding cats (or is it herding rats?). Anyway, thought you may have an interest in this, and I've written stuff on the author's talk page and the article as well. See, it ain't so bad after all. But I didn't like the headline on the main page, Bjork farts again seems fine if it's used again. Aleister 4:46 26-5-'11

Please see my response here. Thanks anyway. Kakun Cartman2 nukaK 10:21, May 26, 2011 (UTC)

edit Ok

i need your vote. i know you don't vote and shit you know, but i dont thnk i have time now as nobody else looks to be voting. Also, i want to report a namespace prejudice where a person just voted against without any comment. hope you can help some..And tell me how was the weejedn too.Wiggly pFiry mWiggly p -> That's Poop Man Poop 15:28, May 29, 2011 (UTC)--Wiggly pFiry mWiggly p -> That's Poop Man Poop 15:28, May 29, 2011 (UTC)

An unspecified against vote is not necessarily a namespace prejudice, nor even really wrong; it's not really helpful and folks tend not like it, but that's a whole other matter. We can really only act in regards to 'namespace prejudice' if the vote specifies it's because of the namespace or whatnot, though, as otherwise the reasoning could be anything. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 17:19, 30 May 2011

edit Yo

Please, come on IRC when you have a chance. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 21:12, 31 May 2011

edit The lead templates

Giant space on UnNews

See that space that you've now filled with the original thing? That appears when you leave "type=" blank. It doesn't when you put "none" there. If you don't know what you're doing, please don't do it. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 19:04, June 1, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah........... so that probably wasn't the best way you could have phrased that. --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 19:09, June 1, 2011 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost: Best before Friday!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:18, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost: Best before Friday!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:19, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hello

Hello Humbucker. Feet and things to you! I haven't put anything up on UnNews, or put anyone else's pages on the template, since I learned of your new assumption of power, so it's been awhile. Notice you've been editing the war of drug page, and wanted to say as a member of the unknown unnews committee that it seems like a #1 or 2 story, given its breaking real-world news importance (the real story is getting wide play on other news sites). You may have already placed it somewhere as I type, though, so never mind my input if it's old-news-input. A concern I do have, and mentioned on the forum, is if your taking this "job" is hurting your own writing. If it is, run for the hills, and take a notepad with you, and continue with your great writing and storytelling. To lessen that would be a loss to the site (and Iz assume you have fun writing, too). Yours in Allah and the Bean, Aleister 19:00 2-6-'11

p.s. Do you mind people coming by and suggesting high-story placements for pages? I dunno.
I actually welcome people coming by and suggesting high-story placement, so if you think a story deserves a slot somewhere, please make your case be known! However, for this one in particular, I don't think it'll make it into the templates. If you look at the source story, the UnNews piece is, literally, a copy/paste job (with a couple one liners thrown in) and I think I can expect a little more than that to give it more exposure.
As for my writing, I've just been in a slump lately - baseball picked up again and I got a job, so I just don't have the 3 hours a day it used to take me to knock out a story. It'll happen again, though. Maybe not the 1-a-day streaks I used to have, but it'll happen. ~ Humbuck Talk 19:12, 2 June 2011 (UTC)
Ah, okay. I'm selling the tickets! This strange game you speak of, base-ball, do you play it or stare at it? And job, do you mean you got a copy of the book of the bible? I have one of those somewhere /points to doorstop But yeah, I hope you get to writing again, and am glad the unnews thing isn't a factor in that. Curse this bass-ball for taking your time, and that book of job thing. Aleister 3:10 3-6-'11
This strange thing I speak of, this bass-balls, is something I sever my arm doing, and this Job thing is something I get paid to do, but can still sometimes read while doing it. And I just want to say that, after looking over this conversation, it sounds like I don't mean it when I say that I welcome suggestions for the templates (You: "Can I make suggestions for the temapltes?" Me: "Absolutely!" You: "Funnybony's story!" Me: "No."). So please let me know if there's something you think that should be there, and please let me know why - is it a callback I'm not getting? Does it refer to something I'm not aware of? Do you think there should be an out-of-the-box story because it's been awhile since there was one? Seriously, I want to know. ~ Humbuck Talk 03:40, 3 June 2011 (UTC)
I kind of knew that's what you meant, that you play. I enjoy the history of the game more than watching any of it, and haven't played in a few years (used to play, but not in school). I remember SPIKE, a former user who was on site quite awhile ago, he was a big baseball fan. And you seem to be on the stories quite regularly. If there is one I see that I think is list-worthy and you've let it rot in the pile, I'll mention it, mostly my own when I get to writing more of them. Aleister 3:48
^^I think he also knew that you knew about baseball and he was just playing along. Make you way to Mattsnow he has some sarcasm enhancing pills. Kevillips is doing wonders because of them.--Wiggly pFiry mWiggly p -> That's Poop Man Poop 13:26, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

edit more news

I played around with the parameters and found instead of pixels using 100% filled the box, then I just had to make sure the text had a br/ tag and it dropped below the image. All the portals could use this, then tweak the colors to match the theme of the portal. awesome - thanks for doing that. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 05:03, June 5, 2011 (UTC)

edit Front pager

An obvious choice for all around honours, just in case you miss it initially. DaveFromMars first UnNews about a royal wedding of prime minister and beau. Aleister 1:08 6-6-'11

Agreed. I cleaned up some grammar and punctuation issues and putting it in the templates as I type. Well, not as I type, because that's a feat of multi-tasking impossible on one monitor and without a mouse, so right after I plug in the tildes that is my sig. ~ Humbuck Talk 02:48, 6 June 2011 (UTC)...There.

edit film news

and of course same story having both cats is simple to fix.--K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 03:52, June 6, 2011 (UTC)

I'm trying to make it so a story will be included if it's in either Film or Movies, but struggling. ~ Humbuck Talk 03:55, 6 June 2011 (UTC)
And naturally there are about as many UnNewses in the Movies category as there are in the Films one, so it kind of has to be both. ~ Humbuck Talk 04:01, 6 June 2011 (UTC)
HOLY GERUND, I DID ITHumbuck Talk 04:11, 6 June 2011 (UTC)
I was going to suggest decating the dupes --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 04:59, June 6, 2011 (UTC)

edit The Unroyal Wedding

Thanks for the good words! The first one was a lot of fun. I'll see what else I can come up with. Take it easy! DaveFromMars 16:30, June 6, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hey

Actually, no. I have to add the evolution part too. But again I never said it was complete. But I confess I forgot adding that. No that has to be added, yeah. Will do it and you'll get to know. Cheers.--Wiggly pFiry mWiggly p -> That's Poop Man Poop 19:22, June 6, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hurrah, it's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:22, June 9, 2011 (UTC)

edit Minitrue!

OMG you got inspired to write a minitrue. I used to think you hated minitrue, but it worked it worked. I have been adding a lot of minitrues lately. All I am doing is scanning the headlines, and turning them into puns or opposites. I have a BBC Rss feed that supplies most. Apparently on June 10 "8 new causes of cancer were released" Here is a similar story link But obviously your story was not sourcing that, but I thought I'd share with you the inspiration for my madness. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 19:53, June 11, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, I heard that you were really going at the Minitrues, and this one was great - I read it and instantly had things popping in my mind. And, just as importantly, I also had 90 minutes to kill, so it all worked out. I'm still making a few changes to the story (I don't like how the {{Noun}} template works), so I'll definitely take a look at the news story to see if I can integrate it.
And I appreciate you sharing your madness, and will most likely be coming back for more in the future. ~ Humbuck Talk 21:49, 11 June 2011 (UTC)

edit UnNews audio

I got some news sound clips and cues. I'll gladly do the UnNews audio. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 18:07, 14 June 2011

Sure, you and anyone else that wants to do audio can do it. But I would recommend running it by the author of the story first. If they don't want audio, then you might want to think twice about doing it. ~ Humbuck Talk 20:07, 14 June 2011 (UTC)
On that note, when I was talking about video news with another previously interested entity, he pointed out with the CC lic we use, the content once posted is fare game to be remixed any way as long as the original is sourced. Sure it is good manners to tell someone you are going to be recording one of "their" stories. But in wiki, how many articles are 100% anyone's. So, think twice, maybe thrice, but still do what is best for the wiki. That my 2¢ anyway, but then I always pretty much feel free share my cranky old man opinions. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 20:16, June 14, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnNews

You were asking about grammatical rules etc on the UnNews page. Though Spike made some changes he usually left spellings/punctuation up to the writer. That is a bit difficult as you indicate if you are not aware of the differences. You are doing some sterling...dollar work in there btw. I know I haven't submitted any UnNews articles this month but I do check the page out, though I see the front page link has put it at the lower half of the page now. I hope that is a temporary measure as the UnNews pages are not very active at the moment. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:03, June 15, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the compliments. I intend to (try to) keep up with the grammar editing, because I think having typos and misspellings lingering in stories makes the site look amateurish, but I was unaware of the American vs. British aspect before I started, which makes things surprisingly difficult. I made some grammar adjustments to your recent story, but please let me know if I made a mistake - some of the spelling in the piece suggested you were British, so I tried proofreading accordingly, but I'm still getting used to doing things that way.
Also, I was unaware of the format change on the UnNews page and brought it up on IRC recently to discover that it had been changed and then reverted rather quickly, so you just caught it at the wrong time. All should be good on that end, then. ~ Humbuck Talk 18:24, 16 June 2011 (UTC)
The front page has been fixed. Proof reading is fine. The news editor's word is final! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:53, June 17, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost Activate!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:20, June 16, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Boston wins Stanley Cup while sore losers destroy their city

Hi Humbucker I'm Mattsnow, the Beast from the East! I don't think I've introduced myself yet. Now that it is done, I'd like to know if I need permission or anything before putting this article I just cooked on the template for the front page and where I can find that damn template. I went on the UnNews main page only to find myself even more confused. Or maybe you could do it for me. I wrote my first UnNews some weeks ago but I just don't remember how I managed to get it on the front page. Thanks! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 06:50, June 17, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for your contribution to UnNews! I noticed that you're relatively new here, so UnNews has been in flux for much of your time on Uncyc. However, things have settled back down and here's the deal: As the main editor (or Editor in Chief, or UnNews Czar, or Resident Watermelon-knees, or whatever title you want to call it), I've got the final say on the templates, so all you have to do is write. Your story got on the UnNews Front Page (in the Lead slot because it's very topical), but not on the Main Page itself; it was pretty good, but the concept and humor was very heavy handed, and I thought that detracted from the story, overall. I might bump it into the Main Page template soon if it stagnates, though. Let me know if you have any other questions, and I look forward to any new articles you put out there. ~ Humbuck Talk 18:36, 17 June 2011 (UTC)
OK, to be kind as a butterfly, and with love in my heart, but are you fuckin' kidding me ? This story should not only be right there on the main page, again in all kindness, but featured as well. You do not have, as kind as possible, final say, only when you don't do something like, in all fairness and bless your heart once again, this. Please reconsider, be kind in all things, and put the story back where it should call home. Aleister 18:40 17-6-'11
p.a. Oh, I see the confusion. If you think it is good enough for the main news story, then why wouldn't it go on the main page listing? So you do like it, but are protecting our sensitive readers. Well, I think it is okay to offend the women and children in the audience. Maybe this once, or six times? Please don't take any of this the wrong way, but yeah, if you do think it's the number one story on UnNews then maybe it should be on the front page too?
If it's good, I put it on the UnNews Front Page, if it's super topical, it goes lead. If it's very good, I put it Main Page. As it always is with comedy, it's subjective. Your opinion is appreciated, Aleister, but the attitude isn't, and makes me regard the opinion considerably less. ~ Humbuck Talk 18:49, 17 June 2011 (UTC)
Attitude shouldn't take away from substance, that is also a subjective way to go about things. Maybe I'm wrong, and you are the official supreme editor/czar/etc., and in that case it is your choice. But as I understand it you make decisions up until you make one which I would say 90% of people here would disagree with (and I'm pulling that number out of my....hat), and this could be one of those. The main page should be for topical items as well, imnho, and past editors only took pages off of there (we all had the option to place stories there) if he thought it was really bad. And I don't think you believe this is really bad or you wouldn't have put it in the lead in the news place itself. My attitude is that of a pig sometimes, I agree with that. So there is that. Shouldn't stop us from being buds, no? Aleister 18:00 17-6-'11
Alright! It is indeed correct that humor is subjective. I respect everybody's opinion here, but do I understand it correctly when you say it is too offensive? I tried to censor myself the best I can while walking on the "swearing-limit" line like an equilibrist. But when I see articles like HowTo:Make Breakfast Goo (For Men) featured on the front page, y'know. But I respect that you are running UnNews specifically, not what gets featured and I'm sure you're trying your best to do what's good for Uncy, as we all do. I've had a lot of fun writing this, with no expectations whatsoever as to petty "glory". It's good to know I just have to write an UnNews, then it goes in your databank, so I kinda fire-and-forget. But please answer my interrogation above on offensiveness. That will come in handy for future endeavors. Thanks bro! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 21:25, June 17, 2011 (UTC)
It actually had nothing to do with offensiveness or swearing. While I'm not much of a fan of excessive swearing in comedy, the key word there is excessive; I think you used profanity effectively in this piece, and the harsh words had nothing to do with it not being on the Main Page. It was more the very judgmental tone to the story that put me off, which I think is best shown by the first sentence; "In an impressive display of strength and solidarity, Vancouverites united yesterday night and showed the world their amazing ability to come together as a community and work toward a common goal: looking like a bunch of losers" (my italics). I'm sure you've been through a Pee Review or two. This is the concept of the story, and you state it very frankly and quickly, and I think this turned what could've been an outstanding story into just a fairly good one.
Having been through more than a few college fiction writing courses, I've been slammed with the rule "Show, don't tell" countless times. What you're doing in this story is coming out and immediately telling me your concept; that the residents of Vancouver are sore losers. Show me instead; show me that they're losers, let me figure it out for myself from the words and the examples you write on the page. Show me, and that joke you're saying will shine clearer and stronger than it could by simply telling me flat out, and there will be no doubt that your story belongs on the front page. ~ Humbuck Talk 23:30, 17 June 2011 (UTC)
Yes, I couldn't resist but sell the punch straight off the bat (I hesitated about that, it's more like an editorial :) ) and I shared my opinion strongly, while hopefully being funny. I guess we could debate for days, but to no end. I may or may not retouch it. Thank you for the advice Humbucker as it is helpful, there are probably the same amount of definitions for a good article as there are people on UNcy! But I have to say I just reread the thing and I Lolled, I don't agree with you but I have a lot of fun on Uncy, you can stay assured I hold no bone whatsoever and will gladly write other UnNews. Cheers! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 02:13, June 18, 2011 (UTC)

edit Blurbs

Yesterday I took a look at the Wikipedia Main page and how it deals with wikinews. I noticed their "in the news" includes bullets about the stories. Lazy as I am, I just did the first two but not the one with the picture. I figured if you liked it, you could do that from then on, which makes what I was calling a "list" into something that is indeed obviously edited. Other editors have noticed, and have tweajked the blurbs. Admittedly, lazillips, me just cut and pasted the opening sentence for the most part. I was kind of anticipating talking about it with you last night, but didn't see you then or today. I hope your roses do not have aphids. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 21:54, June 21, 2011 (UTC)

I like it and I think that it's got potential, but it just looks like crap! I can't believe Wikinews is doing it. I think that if we shorten the list in the RecentUnNews template it might look better, but I'm bit hesitant because adding another line of blurb to an entry makes the list run very long. What would you think about a 7-entry list and blurb as opposed to the current 15-entry and no blurb? ~ Humbuck Talk 03:42, 23 June 2011 (UTC)
indeed. 15 is too long given the current layout of embedded templates. I have learned similar problems with the comedy portal. Presently the right side is too long because the left side is too short. Even especially wordy headlines of 15 headlines can produce that. In a perfect formatting world we would use character count to decide how much to put in each embedded template. Numbers of headlines - is imprecise. A different solution would be instead of headlines as the list, a comprehensive story summary. My goal in addition to more closely mimic wikipedia was to make the template look more like it truly is, an edited piece of content. Presently it is not much different than Template:Recent, which is freely edited, and rarely by many. and nobody seems to care if it is. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 15:29, June 23, 2011 (UTC)
I'll try out the 7-entry-with-blurbs when I do my UnNews in an hour or so. See how it goes. ~ Humbuck Talk 16:03, 23 June 2011 (UTC)
I was just looking over the Wikinews way of doing it and found, to my surprise, that they don't even have links to the news stories in their front page box. The blue links go to specific Wikipedia pages. What I'm doing this time around is incorporating the title (or approximate title) of the UnNews story into the blurb and linking to the story that way. Let me know what you think. ~ Humbuck Talk 17:23, 23 June 2011 (UTC)

edit Catch it. Kill it. Bin it. It's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:20, June 23, 2011 (UTC)

edit Recent UnNews captions

Good stuff, bro!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:08, Jun 23

I think it's great too. Making the list look more edited, creating value for the reader, by offering up links to topics as well. I believe this may work out quite well, and enhances UnNews' presence on the front page of Uncyclopedia.--K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 20:20, June 23, 2011 (UTC)
Yeah, once I started going at it, I realized that it gives Uncyclopedia another place to put both humor and links to pages. Naturally, it comes at a price - it makes UnNews stories fade from sight even quicker than before - but I think it's worth it; I think the 3 stories I ended up clipping from the list were about 2 weeks old. Good idea. ~ Humbuck Talk 20:33, 23 June 2011 (UTC)
You're right, dude! Please keep up the great job.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:37, Jun 26

edit Kryptonite

Kryptonite-thanks

Thanks-a-million for disregarding this dumb warning. You have wisely chosen the dark-side of the farce.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:37, Jun 26

edit Thanks for the thing that acknowledges that stuff I did

see above --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 18:19, June 26, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hello.

Are you a poopsmith? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 13:12, 27 June 2011

Yeah, Zombiebaron twisted my arm last night on IRC about it and I ended up caving. I think it was a devious attempt to get me to check in on VFD and vote on it more often and, unfortunately, it seems to be working. ~ Humbuck Talk 13:16, 27 June 2011 (UTC)
Sweet. Although it's not so unfortunate for the rest of us, is it? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 13:19, 27 June 2011
I'm voting. So yes. Yes, it is. Be scared. ~ Humbuck Talk 13:21, 27 June 2011 (UTC)
How is that a bad thing? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 14:47, 27 June 2011

edit Errrrrrrrr

Just a quick thanks for fixer-up-ering my shitty article the other day, especially the adding of a few jokes and some baseball knowledge, which has little to no exposure where I’m from – the gutter. Seriously, every time I tried to Google baseball crims, I’m confronted with pro communist propaganda and bondage porn, which may or may not be a part of the sport, I’m not sure. Down in Australia, we have a form of baseball, but we called it Golf. However, instead of trying to whack a nineteenth century ball over a fence with a lump of wood, you hit a wad of dirt and grass with a metal club like object, and then proceed to throw said object into a large body of water.


Anyway, if you haven’t fallen asleep yet I’d thought I’d ask a couple of wankerish questions hidden between a large mass of textual garbage. Firstly, I’m working on a few other (proper) sharticles, but would still like to pump out some half baked UnNews’s as I personally feel it needs a high turnover to give an authentic impression. Plus, they’re short (like that kid I beat up today, smartarse little bastard, thinks he can get away with stealing my shoes does he, well I showed him, didn’t I). So I’m asking you, who seems to have been around a while, maybe a little too while, what sort of article do other (drug) users like? Politics? random shit? small crappy (that’s life type) news that the other media already shit all over? Your opinion anyway. Secondly, due to my general ignorance of Americanisms, would it be better to shit on Australian news of which I am in the know, and cause many furrowed brows as people try to understand the vague references, or should I sell my soul and my pants to the evil conglomerate of states you call America?HauntedUndies. 13:30, June 28, 2011 (UTC)

Hmmm. Firstly, in general the userbase seems to like a very broad range of topics. That helped out very little, I know. My advice, and this goes for your second question, as well, is to write about what you know, while keeping it accessible to the general public, too. Write about how you beat up that short little shit that took your shoes, and make that short little shit be your Australian PM, and the shoes be whatever political fiasco he's been doing or something (as you can tell, I know little to nothing of Australian politics). Make it stupid, random, satirical, witty, over-the-top, whatever. Try new stuff out.
Basically, I guess my advice is this: Fuck the userbase. Fuck selling your soul to my evil conglomerate. Write about what you think will make a good article, write it well, let it go, and learn from how it flies whether you want to do it again or if you want to do it differently. ~ Humbuck Talk 23:06, 28 June 2011 (UTC)

edit The Un-Sigh-npost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:22, June 30, 2011 (UTC)

edit Doomy doomy doomy

Zim thanks you filthy Earth smellies.
For furthering the destruction free taco day
of Earth! Tacos for all!
Tacoooooos!!

Thanks! Jackofspades (talk) 06:41, 30 June 2011

edit Recent UnNews

The idea that you are not allowed to promote your own UnNews stories in the Recent UnNews template is new to me. I've been around for a couple of years (not regularly, since my main focus is the German uncyclopedia) and up to now it's never been a problem to edit this template in favor of your own articles. Can you tell me who changed that, and why, and where it was discussed? Thanks. NaturalBornKieler (talk) Germany Flag 1 13:46, July 1, 2011 (UTC)

I have started a new forum on this very issue Forum:Revert_wars_on_templates. Wether it has been discussed, I see it as very similar to self noms for VFH. There is a strict set of rules for such nominations. Because of the timeliness of unnews a traditional voting system would take away the news topicality. The current de facto editor (DFEIC) is TheHumbucker and he has a pretty clear idea of what UnNews stories should be promoted on wiki front page. He has also recently started making the recent news template more of an edited document than a list of recent stories - which does exist on the Front page of the UnNews. Having the technical expertise to edit a template embedded in the front page meta-page does not make an article good or timely under the editorial guidelines illustrated by the DFEIC. Perhaps wioth this forum a community consensus can be reached on how to deal with the self promotion of articles on the front page of the wiki. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 18:46, July 1, 2011 (UTC)

edit Congratulations

To both of us for the shiny golden awards. And thanks for your vote, too. More to come - just hang in there - you're much appreciated and firmly in charge now, bro. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 20:32, Jul 1

edit Obligatory haranguing

Since you gave a fair bit of input and still happen to be around, I suppose I should ask - is this better? Do you even remember how it was before? Is it reasonable in general? Do you like tacos? Is that a banana in your pocket? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 13:00, 2 July 2011

I think so. Changing the picture location makes it clearer that it's an article written from Milton's perspective. As for the graphical changes... I kind of like how you bleached out the page a bit. It's less bold and kind of weaker, just like the character. ~ Humbuck Talk 16:39, 2 July 2011 (UTC)
Yay, thanks. Except people who are using IE'll miss some of the fanciness... opacity isn't exactly a css1 property. And I see you found a typo. >.< 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 16:51, 2 July 2011

edit Unnews

hi Hummy, I'm going to skip a day or two and let others fill the gap. More soon... Cheers--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:06, Jul 4

Absolutely not! Think of the stagnation! Think of the children! I'll have to get aggressive with my writer's block and contribute, the horror. Thanks for the heads up, though. ~ Humbuck Talk 17:11, 4 July 2011 (UTC)

edit It's free and it always will be; it's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:19, July 7, 2011 (UTC)

edit 40th Thanks

edit The UnSignpost: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:18, July 14, 2011 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost: Avoid all contact with eyes.

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:22, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

edit FFW Unfomercials:ShamWow!_(Unrated)

Are you high? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 18:40, July 23, 2011 (UTC)

I think the correct term would've been "piss drunk." However, despite being in the aforesaid incapacitated state, I found it lacking of funny. Now, being sober once more, I also find it lacking of funny. That said, I also see that there's little more that can be added to the article, so I'll reconsider. ~ Humbuck Talk 19:26, 23 July 2011 (UTC)
I thought it was funny. I'm awesome. Ergo, you're not awesome. There. I said it. You're not awesome. Unlike me. And my beautiful hair. /me runs hands through my beautiful hair Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:33, July 23, 2011 (UTC)


edit AT Field article

I don't mind if you burn this article, but only under one condition: Are you well versed in the Evangelion anime? I think this page would be funny to people who are fans of that anime, and if you are, and you still think it's no good, then go ahead and kill. Otherwise, leave it alone, cause I'm awesome and shit. --S0.S0S.0S.0S0 03:12, July 25, 2011 (UTC)

I am not very well versed in Evangelion anime. However, I recently showed it to someone who is and got an "Oh" in response. You can still save the article by moving it into your userspace and working on it (maybe add some more content to it? And making the joke understandable to a wider audience?) by clicking the "Move" tab and putting "User:So So/AT Field" in the "To new title" area. ~ Humbuck Talk 15:01, 25 July 2011 (UTC)
Oh for fuck's sake Humbucker So So knows how to move a fucking page --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 23:20, July 25, 2011 (UTC)
I have a bad habit of assuming people are retarded as I am. Sorry. ~ Humbuck Talk 23:22, 25 July 2011 (UTC)

edit Forest Fire Week

You've tagged three of my UnNews articles, including the David Nutt one that made the "front page" UnNews stories when I wrote it, for deletion. What gives? --Zarbag 20:22, July 25, 2011 (UTC)

I have a great memory, but expecting me to remember 3 articles when I've tagged several hundred is a little much. Links? Also, I tagged what I thought sucked, or what I didn't find funny whatsoever. Also also, don't feel bad that I only tagged 3 of yours. There was another user who kept coming up - I think I got at least 20 of his. ~ Humbuck Talk 21:17, 25 July 2011 (UTC)

They're this one, this one and this one. Like I said, the Nutt one made the front page UnNews articles when I wrote it. Two of them are about British politics so if you're American then it's understandable you wouldn't get them (I regularly ignore most of the US-centric UnNews stories because I know I won't get the references and therefore won't like the article), one is a stupid in-joke adapted to Zimbabwean politics. One person not getting an article is no basis for it being tagged for destruction. I'd understand if they were some half-done, punctuation-free crap about how Tony Blair loves to eat unicorns for tea and is emperor of China from his base on the moon lol but when I've actually put some thought into them and someone who knew a bit about politics over here would understand the satire I have to put my hand up and wave it around. I'd even defend the Mugabe one, which is easily my poorest/laziest bit of reportage, because it was satirising the extreme/bonkers rhetoric Mugabe engages in which sounds like an angry schoolchild (hence the "statesmanlike rhetoric" bit at the end). I'm encouraged to "move the article to [my] user space" if I want to save it. How/why? It's past news - it's done. Effectively these articles (which aren't even part of uncyclopedia proper) could potentially be lost forever because a passing Admin didn't like them. --Zarbag 08:10, July 26, 2011 (UTC)

Okay, after re-reading them, I'll take the FFW off the Nutt one and the Gordon Brown piece. These were both among the best of the ones I templated. The Mugabe one is a little trickier because, no matter how great it might have been when Mugabe was in the news a lot and people knew how he talked, now the story reads... I'll say "immature." As for the "one person not getting an article is no basis for it being tagged for destruction," that's why we have a week for discussion before they get deleted. If you still feel that the Mugabe story should stay in mainspace, let me know and I'll pass the story around on IRC to see what other people think. ~ Humbuck Talk 16:33, 26 July 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for removing the threat from those two UnNews articles, you're a gent. As for the Mugabe one, I'll take you up on the offer to punt it at the IRC people and let it be judged there. --Zarbag 19:31, July 28, 2011 (UTC)

I took it off because, honestly, I don't give a flying fuck anymore. Cheers! ~ Humbuck Talk 01:53, 29 July 2011 (UTC)

edit Schwarzenegger UnNews

Hey Humbucker, can I ask you what you think of this? I think it might need another tweak or two before it's worthy of a feature shot, but I don't want to burden someone with doing a whole Pee review. Would you mind letting me know what you think? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:33, July 26, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, I really liked it, but I also agree that it's a step or two away from VFHing. Reading the piece again, my opinion is that it could do with less talk by analysts and more talk by gods; analysts by nature have a boring persona while gods are bold as brass, making for just generally better quotations. We have why Zeus is supporting Schw-fuck-it-I'd-rather-type-out-a-longer-hyphenated-joke-than-get-the-spelling-right, but what about the other gods on Olympus? Do they agree with this? I especially want to know Hera's view here. You could intersperse these quotes with some of the analysis that you already have, which is often quite good, for the contrast of the analyst vs. god tone. Also, in the future, please run you stories by a third blah blah, blah blah template, blah. ~ Humbuck Talk 16:43, 26 July 2011 (UTC)
I see, and I will take that all into account and revise, except for that incomprehensible last bit. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 19:01, July 26, 2011 (UTC)
I made a few tweaks and added a bunch of one-liners for the other Olympian gods. What do you think now? VFH-worthy, or needs more work? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:15, July 27, 2011 (UTC)
I can't think of anything else to add. Run it up the flagpole and see who sticks their tongue to it, or whatever the phrase is. ~ Humbuck Talk 01:39, 27 July 2011 (UTC)

edit Forest Fire week

It is said that you are one of the people labeling articles at the rate of many a minute. Please take the power that you feel because of this stupid FFW and stuff it up your, hey what's new? Seriously, people wrote those pages, worked on them, found illustrations, and you and others are just putting a template on them, which takes a few seconds itself. Are you going to claim "Oh, but I read them all, carefully and with a discerning mind as to the overall concept"? What a pile of, hey, good to know you. Aleister 18:07 27-7-'11

p.s. Did I go too far in criticizing you? Let me know, because there is a lot further to go.
Yeah, you're going off the reports of another user. When said user was asked to go through the articles himself, he actually took less time to do so than the rate at which he claimed TheHumbucker was tagging them. So your facts are wrong. You may also want to calm down, take a deep breath, and read the forum before having a fit.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 18:17 Jul 27, 2011
Well, I'm getting all my fit out of my system at once as I only have a short time on the computer and just learned of this VFD-go-around project. And tagging over 500 pages in a week seems like an odd thing for a relatively noob to do. So my apologies for getting any of this wrong (when someone did complain two out of three were reversed by the user) and all. But you know me by now, I try to save everything with some worth, and actually wouldn't tag any page in this project but would have taken them all to VFD for community agreement. What's going to happen to the maybe thousands of pics which will be orphaned by this process, will they be save at least on unused pics without being huffed? (and my time is short on computers these days, so please take that as a request not to huff the pics too. thanks.) Aleister 18:25 27-7-'11
The reason he tagged so many was because I generated a specific page of articles that were likely to be crap (in particular, very short UnNews articles). I'm talking articles 2-3 lines long if that with no pictures and sometimes no content. It was very easy to fly through and that's how he got to the place he's at.
Anyway, I don't like having to bypass a true VFD process any more than you do. In fact, I like it less because I'm the one who gets accused of being a deletion-monger. But the thing is, VFD is still slower than the number of articles we have coming in. Even if we somehow stopped new articles dead, it would still take years to get the place cleaned up. There are some systems in place to prevent abuse, such as the two-person-to-huff system I described on the forum, but for the most part, speed is of the essence. The thing about good articles is that there are always more.
As for the unused images, if they're unused, there's no reason to keep them, unless they're original photoshops or something. Otherwise they're just stolen content off the rest of the Internet without a parody (read: used in an article) purpose. That's not right, legally (or morally) speaking - we can't just host images that aren't put in a parody context. Obviously, images that are parody themselves are exempt, but usually those are linked from galleries in peoples' userspaces anyway.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 18:30 Jul 27, 2011

edit More class than 9000 schools: It's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:22, July 28, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnNews Formatting Gofer

Hi Humy, I voted over there but it looks like anarchy is more desirable to the knee jerk commies. Personally I don't know how any one will ever stick as Editor of Unnews under such meaningless gofer position. Every time an editor tries to be an editor at Unnews they get run out of town by the lynch mob. Since I started writing here I have seen three editors fail at being allowed to edit. So I guess your job is to be a powerless formatting gofer. Hope you can stick it out. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 16:09, Jul 28

It looks like it, which is really too bad. Not gonna lie, being Editor blew massive donkey schlong, but I don't see how anarchy will end with the quality of the project getting better. But now I'm coming to the realization that it isn't about quality; it's about satisfying the writer's ego. Oh well. On the bright side, I'm heading out. While all the drama was getting broiled up by certain immature children who seem to need the ego boost of seeing their crap on the Main Page, I was sending inquiry letters to other satire websites and actually got a couple of hits. Now I can write the stuff I like writing, not have to put up with the petty bull, get published on legitimate sites with a good readership and even get paid (it'll come out to something like $0.50 an hour, but still; I can buy half of Zimbabwe with that). I think I can live with how this'll end.
As for UnNews, now you can front page everything! Get the picture, too! I just won't be around to correct any spelling mistakes, but you were pretty good with that (thank you, thank you, thank you).
So yeah, it's been great working with you. I hope to see your writing someplace else, too. ~ Humbuck Talk 02:23, 29 July 2011 (UTC)
I never tried to get my own piece of work on the front page since you started editing and voted against being allowed to. It's a shame you're leaving because your articles are some of the best ever written for UnNews. Good luck with the new projects, I think you've got the writing talent to go far. mAttlobster. (hello) 11:25, July 29, 2011 (UTC)

edit Humy, R U leaving?

This rotating UnNews editors problem is becoming pathetic. Please tell me about "legitimate sites with a good readership" that you found so I can also check it out. My teen son laughs at me for writing here. He's a YouTuber, and in his mind less than 100,000 views is peanuts... so when I told him it was hard to get 10 TEN votes on VFH he laughed and said, "WHAT!? It takes 10 votes!?? Why do you bother with such a small group?" If I tell him I have an FA he is not even remotely impressed. So please tell me about much more populated humor sites you have found and perhaps I'll join you. Please reply to me at rsbj@hotmail.com. Much appreciated.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 07:34, Jul 29

Humbucker: what Funnyboy said, only...could you direct a c.c. to uncoolestdude (at) gmail (dot) com (that's me)? Thanks! ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver Icons-flag-us (gabble) 09:41, July 29, 2011 (UTC)
Bizzeebeever, I kept getting a mailer daemon, so here's the sight I was going to e-mail: [1]. Check out these sites, find one you think is your style, and look for how to submit. If there's nothing that says how, contact them and be all "I found your site and I'm interested in submitting. Attached are some samples of what I've done." Then look for links to other satire sites from that one and network around. Good luck! ~ Humbuck Talk 17:28, 30 July 2011 (UTC)

edit Declension

My main man, could you please remove FFW from Declension. Its not fabulous but its a good start and better than what was. Cheers my dears :) --ShabiDOO 00:52, July 29, 2011 (UTC)

Done. It was horrid before. Now it's meh, which isn't FFWable. Good job. ~ Humbuck Talk 01:56, 29 July 2011 (UTC)
Indeed...of the four articles I saved...this is by far the most meh. I will pick at it and try to make it more than meh. Fo shizzle! By the way...my space ship is ready to fly to the centre of the moon if you wanna come!?!??????!! --ShabiDOO 02:13, July 29, 2011 (UTC)
Absolutely. Let's get the fuck out of here. ~ Humbuck Talk 02:24, 29 July 2011 (UTC)

edit NOOOOO

You can't leave!? What about UnNews? If you leave, i'll leave! --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 02:34, 29 July 2011

This is what happened to UnNews. And I'm not about to go against a vote by the community, that would be just awful, childish and make me look like, as they say in India, a "plick." We can both leave on Shabidoo's rocket ship! ~ Humbuck Talk 02:37, 29 July 2011 (UTC)
What you need is a bottle of wine. No, really. It's doing wonders over here.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 02:41 Jul 29, 2011
Humbuckler...the rocket is ready, but the ship is definately comming back to uncyclopedia. Like for shizle. After we colonise the peacefull and innocent moon people in the centre :) --ShabiDOO 02:46, July 29, 2011 (UTC)
Didn't the UnNews Czar thingy involve more than just overseeing a couple templates? Also, I think a lot of the people voting specifically had the {{RecentUnNews}} template in mind. Not sure where that leaves the issue on all of the templates on the UnNews front page. Also also, please don't leave. You've always been a great contributer to the site. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 07:51, 29 July 2011
Dear kind hearted Socky, when I saw the so-called "over-sight vote" for UnNews - I knew it was NOT about oversight, it was a vote for UNNEWS EDITOR: Yes/No? And the tiny handful of people who make up Uncyclopedia voted NO. Any voter who could not see what the vote was really about is a moron. Just consider, Why? HowTo:, everywhere here has over sight, but UnNews is a thankless task. The only editor you'll ever get to stay at UnNews would have to be a robot, but even a robot needs to be plugged in to work. The little-kids vote was held, and Humy was voted OUT. Now, once again, immaturity has fucked up UnNews.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:12, Jul 29
I trust you don't go Humbucker but at the same time, UnNews should be removed from the front page if there is now no oversight. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:23, July 29, 2011 (UTC)

edit Don't vote for my dog!

It's weird but it's sort of funny because it's weird is the thing. So I mean, I dunno. Can I remove the tag? Or do you think it's unsalvagably unfunny?  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 02:55 Jul 29, 2011

edit Hey! Everybody look at me! I writing stuff! This should be a feature aritcle!Mumble Grumble bumble Flrumble Nnnahh

OK, I’m going to do the thing where I compliment you by ‘blowing smoke up your arse followed by a kick to the balls’ technique that people use to let someone down easy. So here goes. Not being an experienced writer or internet user (apart from porn or gambling), I was a little apprehensive about joining an internet community such as Uncyclopedia (given the amount of controversy over the current UnNews piss ant issue, I probably would have avoided this site in the first place). I decided to have a go and spent the good part of three days trying to conjure up an average article which was the best I could muster at the time. From memory, it didn’t make the front page ‘or’ the template and was probably very delete-o-rific. At first I was shitty that my genius wasn’t being properly pandered to; as nobody was knocking down my front door to pull my pantaloons in the downwards direction to devour the gooey innards. Then I started to think, hmm, why?


It was this ‘why’ which led to more questions about the terribleness of my writing which I wont really get into. It was your incessant ‘jumped up n00b’ attitude; including unnecessary spell checks, improper grammar alterations and superfluous joke addition’s which gave me great assistance in my transition from serial porn bandit into someone who felt like he could be a regular contributor to UnNews in both quality and quantity (my last article taking about an hour to conjure up). So I owe you a big thank you in regards to your quality edits and the professionalism in taking on a boring and thankless job which made it a lot easier on a n00bular unit like me. If you are definitely leaving, which I assume you are based on the decrepit status of UnNews I don’t think people realize what a loss you are to the site.

Now that the sycophantic compliments are over, it’s time for the ball kicking part. Yay! You say that to remain in ‘charge’ (by doing productive edits and maintaining the template and front page) would be childish. I say, to crack the shits at the other kids and take your bat and ball and go home would be equally childish. As Shabidoo pointed out, most of the people involved in the vote to rid you of your ‘god like’ duties were either non contributors or irregular contributors at best and were voting for their own ability to get recognized (when they actually add to the project) and as such can get fucked. It seems that the vote-0-rama that may have released you of some of your ‘dictatorship’ powers may also release you from the stress of being said dictator. From what I’ve gathered from various stalk pages is that you used to be quite the prolific and hilarious writer of UnNewses. Because of this, I recommend that instead of cracking the shits like a little bitch and leaving the site with your tail between your legs, go back to where you started. Why did you join in the first place? Write some fucking awesome UnNews articles (and put it on the front page yourself because apparently that’s OK now). There’s absolutely no excuse why you can’t do what you used to before all this bullshit started. So in summary, pull your head out of your arse, swallow your pride and do what you came here to do! HauntedUndies. 12:35, July 30, 2011 (UTC)

Whatever the fuck he just said...I second it. ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver Icons-flag-us (gabble) 12:56, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
I think I can swing back by to answer this.
First off, thanks for the compliments. One of the things I'll miss most about Uncyc is seeing you develop as a writer, HauntedUndies. As you say yourself, your first contribution was rather delete-o-rific, but you quickly got the hang of things and were becoming a regular on the Front and Main page. The upswing you took was pretty damn amazing, even if your grammar and spelling could still use some work. I hope you keep up the good work, and now you can always be on the Main Page, no matter how delete-o-rific the story is. Use that power, for it was given to you through the power of naivety.
Yes, I did notice that most of the Anarchy voters were people who probably didn't know there was a Front Page. People kept voting against oversight and my only reaction was "Who the fuck are you?" And yes, I could just ignore the vote and keep making alterations to the templates because now I can and because Hell yes, ANARCHY, but that's exactly the crap that brought things down this low in the first place, and I prefer to take the high road. This reverting-because-I-can-and-this-is-a-Wiki bullshit is, in fact, bullshit, and I think I can put up with less bullshit in my life.
And, speaking of my life, yes, I did write some (I think) hilarious UnNewses back before I wasn't dealing with the reversions on a daily basis (don't take my word for it, though, read them on my userpage. Front Page them if you want because, well, now you can!). After the previous Editor in Chief (SPIKE) left and things were in flux, I whored one of these stories onto the Front Page box, but this gave me absolutely 0 satisfaction, because I knew that its quality had nothing to do with it being there. It felt dirty and empty and I suddenly understood why some users called this practice "whoring." So yes, I could go back to where I started. And yes, I am going back to where I started.... Just not here. While all the mud was in the air, I was looking for other sites to send my stuff to, and actually managed to get a few hits. I'm already on the front page here, and I didn't even have to whore myself to put it there - it's there because the editors think it's a damn good article, and that means far more to me than my ability to manipulate a template.
So no, I don't think I have my tail between my legs. I know for sure that I haven't swallowed my pride, either, because I also don't want my articles in the same bin as the drivel that this anarchy vote will inevitably allow into RecentUnNews. So now I think it's time for me to move on to something that I see is a better fit for me, with a larger readership, editors, professionalism, and even, dare I say it, money.
"And that's the way it is."
Humbucker, signing off. ~ Humbuck Talk 17:35, 30 July 2011 (UTC)
Good luck, glad to have made the acquaintance. Let me know where you're heading and drop me a line at romartus@hotmail.com . --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:53, July 31, 2011 (UTC)
I think you're misinterpreting the vote as being a vote for Anarchy, but eh, yer pays yer money ya takes ya choice -- Prof. Olipro Icons-flag-gb KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 21:19, July 31, 2011 (UTC)

edit Blargh.

I might miss having you around, but I'd rather insist you be where you're happy, you know? Meantime UnNews is going to turn into a pile of crap, but the folks brought that upon themselves. Idiots.

On a vaguely related note, there's another site you might want to consider. Silent Penguin and some others have been working on an overhaul of their bogus news site, and it's almost set up now, so... well, you can check out the current here; perhaps drop Silent Penguin a line if it looks interesting to you? Might try in IRC; he's usually in the #illogicopedia channel.

Anyhow, wish you well. Take care, man. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 19:01, 31 July 2011

edit Fantasy Football

Though the answer is probably 'no', would you be interested in re-joining? Lollipop quit just as we were getting our draft started, and a massive metaphorical wrench has been thrown in the whole thing as a result. I understand if you couldn't care less, but at most all you'd have to do is make a team on Yahoo! (which takes about two minutes), and from there Brad and I could "autopick" your draft based on the Yahoo! preseason rankings. In the end, it really isn't a big commitment, seeing as you could just set your lineup, like, once, and leave it the rest of the season. (And if you do care, well, then, more power to you.) You were interested enough to sign up before once, what do you say to signing up again? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 20:24, August 4, 2011 (UTC)

edit Did you seriously leave????

Quitter. Whimy houser. Jumper klingon. Anyway, you are a very good writer, esp. of news articles, and that's where you excelled. The editor-in-chief thing didn't work out, mainly for reasons of wikihood and "No bosses" freeform style. But as a writer, WTF, you ran off? Tails between your whore's legs (Been there, done that)???? This is one of the best places on the web to write and have your story loved and honored with ghosts aplenty, yet because a few people didn't like your style as czar you deem yourself away? Please ocme back and write as you did before you tried your hand at czar, you contributed some of the best UnNews' pages seen around here this year. Aleister 19:09 16-8-'11

Forget it, Aleister, it's Chinatown. ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver Icons-flag-us (gabble) 20:34, August 16, 2011 (UTC)
Like Spike, The Humbucker is unlikely to return. Confirmed via recent email exchange. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:52, August 24, 2011 (UTC)
Marble

Marbles. "Pickin' em up, boss. Takin' dem home, boss." Aleister 18:45 24-8-'11

edit Greetings

I have gone through my records and it appears as though you may have voted for me for some award, supported one or more of my articles on VFH, or supported one or more of my images on VFP, in the past year or so. If this is not the case, then please ignore this message. Otherwise, thank you for your support. May you have a long and fruitful life, and have many parasites. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 18:57, 6 January 2012

Hell if I can remember. But it must've seemed like the right thing to do at the time, which means you were probably being awesome at the time. You can thank me not by writing on my wall but by continuing to be awesome, at this time. ~ Humbuck Talk 05:32, 7 January 2012 (UTC)
Well, you're awesomer. So there. How's things, anyhow? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 06:23, 7 January 2012
Which things are we talking about? My dog? Still non-existent (sad face) My job? Now non-existent (\o/) This donut? Hang on a sec.... 'ow 'on egshishunt. /me chokes. /me gags. /me dies. ~ Humbuck Talk 18:46, 7 January 2012 (UTC)
Hmm... unfortunate as some things are, some good has come of this, at least. *harvests organs* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 00:17, 11 January 2012

edit Your still alive...

Well how about that O__o ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 06:43, January 7, 2012 (UTC)

The report of my death was an overstatement. I've been wanting to use that Twain-ism in a sentence for years nowHumbuck Talk 18:37, 7 January 2012 (UTC)

edit  :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Happymonkey2012

CLICK HERE--ShabiDOO 09:57, January 24, 2012 (UTC)

edit Boooooooooo

Come baaaaaaaaaaaaack. Without your power ring we can't summon Captain Planet! --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 17:12, March 7, 2012 (UTC)

Fuck you guys and Captain Planet. I wanted the Fire ring but you let Zombiebaron have it and gave me this other piece of shit. What the fuck kind of bullshit is "Heart"? I don't wanna play anymore. ~ Humbuck Talk 06:59, 8 March 2012 (UTC)
YOU EDITED, THAT MEANS YOU'RE BACK. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 07:02, March 8, 2012 (UTC)
Just passing through. As you were, comrade. ~ Humbuck Talk 07:06, 8 March 2012 (UTC)
My standard response when I see an old user ambling by:-
“Just when I thought I was out...they pull me back in”
~

Welcome back all the same. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:00, March 8, 2012 (UTC)

If you don't at least contribute some unnews stories as an IP, I'll track you down and cut off your balls. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usFri, Mar 30 '12 19:06 (UTC)
Sounds like a good reason to stop editing as an IP. Can't have you recognizing my posts, running my IP address and knocking on my door with a pair of hedge clippers. ~ Humbuck Talk 19:22, 30 March 2012 (UTC)
Hedge clippers? Hedge clippers? Hedge clippers would be too good for you. I've got a rusty saw blade and a propane torch. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usFri, Mar 30 '12 19:30 (UTC)
Hey, welcome back bro! We were starting to feel lonely, everyone abandons the ship :S Snowflake mini Mattsnow 19:40, March 30, 2012 (UTC)

edit babble

Here is your babble. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 06:05, July 21, 2012 (UTC)

Yay! ~ Humbuck Talk 13:45, 21 July 2012 (UTC)

So is this for real this time or are you just twiddling my tits again? --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 17:16, July 21, 2012 (UTC)

TKF, I will always twiddle your tits. They're the only ones I can twist into balloon animals. ~ Humbuck Talk 18:51, 21 July 2012 (UTC)
Now how do I log onto IRC again...? ~ Humbuck Talk 18:54, 21 July 2012 (UTC)
Click on the Chatroom link on the left menu. It's right under the Village Dump button. Follow page instructions. Also, I don't think we've met. Hello. The Woodburninator Wood burning Minimal Effort  21:07, July 21, 2012 (UTC)
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