User talk:TheDarthMoogle

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Welcome!

Hello, TheDarthMoogle, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:

Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button ( Button sig ) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, ask at the community forum or in the chatroom, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 07:58, March 8, 2013 (UTC)

UnNews:Ikea furniture found to contain traces of horse meat

I reply on the UnNews talk page that you are doing fine with this but there are grammar errors. I already have an UnNews in about the Ikea meatball news, but your take is a little different, so that's okay. I took the period off the headline, so you can find the UnNews at the above title. Spıke ¬ 18:55 8-Mar-13

Nope; upon closer review--the line about Korea, the line about horse DNA among Ikea staff--I believe you didn't just work from the same real-world news story, you took my UnNews and changed a few things. That isn't right, and I have put the story in your userspace, as shown above, where you can work on it. If I am mistaken, please explain and I will put it back. Spıke ¬ 22:02 8-Mar-13

Apologies if it seemed I'd taken ideas out of your own spin on the story; I gained inspiration from the real live story, and launched straight into the article without seeing what angles other people had taken. My intention was to stay in the absurd as much as possible, but I kinda failed at that. It seems we have similar trains of thought. I'm happy for my article to be taken down. Practise makes perfect :D TheDarthMoogle (talk) 09:11, March 9, 2013 (UTC)

If you are really telling me you stumbled on both these angles rather than taking them from my UnNews, I'll put it back. Spıke ¬ 09:19 9-Mar-13

The Game

Now, the next thing you're going to tell me is that you just got the notion to create this article and are not re-creating the article that received a maintenance tag, the author abandoned, and Mordillo deleted? That would be a major misstep. Spıke ¬ 18:51 18-Mar-13

You sent me some words, but I have absolutely no idea what they mean...It was a requested article... so I made it? Is that a crime, or I am I not worthy of making those kinds of articles?
If the article sucks, then please tell me; I don't get nearly enough criticism in my life, but otherwise I feel kinda hurt that whatever you sent was so aggressive... --TheDarthMoogle (talk) 18:55, March 18, 2013 (UTC)

I didn't read through the article. All I know is that, again, it had been created before, abandoned and deleted by an Admin, and you just re-created it. If this is your first time working on it, then what I said doesn't apply. Good luck with the Requested Articles. (PS--Discuss what you are going to do on your talk page; use Talk:The Game to discuss the article.) Cheers. Spıke ¬ 19:00 18-Mar-13

Day

So, it's got a shed load of redirects. Now to actually come up with a decent article to follow suit. This looks like a tough cookie, and it's tempting just to revise what got deleted; looks like a good angle, but was kinda crude. Here we go... --TheDarthMoogle (talk) 19:04, March 18, 2013 (UTC)

Occupy St. Peters

Thanks for your kind words on the talk page, it's nice to get compliments on pages every once in awhile. You've made my day (at least until I eat some rice and lentils, and then that will make my day, at least until...). I thought of the concept and wrote some of it before actually googling it and there are people with websites about occupying St. Peter's Square, but mostly to complain about paedo priests and the usual. Yet with this new Pope the possibility is there that some may try it. The last picture, of that massive statue, is the real room where popes meet the public and make announcements, and I'd never seen it before two days ago! Its been there for 34 years! Have you seen it before? I look forward to seeing your work, but since this post gets long, thanks again, and good to meet you. Aleister 11:52 19-3-'13

HowTo:Keep Americans Out Of Your Country‎‎

As you note on this article's talk page, you got to this point and then could not figure out where you are going with it. What we have now is basically not an article but an outline of an article. When something is this incomplete, the best way is in your userspace, such as User:TheDarthMoogle/articlename. If it were in your personal namespace, it would not have bothered me that you added an Oscar Wilde quote that has nothing to do with Oscar Wilde. The reason it bothers me (and two other senior editors) in mainspace is written up at Uncyclopedia:Templates/In-universe/Quotes‎. Yes, we will find a better name for that essay.

The article cannot survive as-is in mainspace, as it is nothing but lists. As always, the problem with lists is that they encourage bad overnight editors to come along and add just one thing. Fundamentally, this article needs a better theme than to simply flog the stereotypes about Americans with which we are all familiar. I think stuff like this has already been done but can't give you a citation.

I did not like the way this article began. The structure of the first sentence is: "X is bad, but X is awful." Never use the first person ("I") when writing in an encyclopedia, and try just to say what you are going to say rather than explaining your intentions beforehand. For gassy phrases such as "It is recommended that," please see User:SPIKE/Cliches-1. Good luck! Spıke ¬ 12:09 20-Mar-13

Nanotechnology

This is a good start and an improvement. But it reads as heavy with your own disdainful personal opinion, and still too light on the humor. Your opinion is welcome and it gives the article a theme, but keep working to weave lighter humor into the article, such as with analogies and artful phrasing. (Perhaps more artful than your frequent recourse to "bullshit," which likewise suggests you are too interested in expressing disdain to make the reader laugh.) Also, there are either too many subsections or too little material; the result looks listy, and as always, the problem with lists is that a lot of bad overnight visitors will try to add just one more thing. Hope this helps! Spıke ¬ 12:22 23-Apr-13

[Cheers for the advice.] Yeah, I'll keep working on it through the course of the day. It was more an off the cuff thing as my brain nearly jumped out the window from reading the original article. I get your concern about lists. My head works that way, and I need to tell it to stop doing that. As for the humour, I was taking a more rational, than disdainful approach, but yes. I could be a lot more subtle, but I'm wary of just ending up waffling. TheDarthMoogle (talk) 12:59, April 23, 2013 (UTC)

Rational is okay; just make it funnier, and there is no rush. "Waffling" is always a risk, but mostly when the Anons arrive and we get Theory, then Alternate Theory, then Other Alternate Theory, and the results look very unencyclopedic. Happy editing! Spıke ¬ 13:10 23-Apr-13

From the Sandbox

Your conversation with Simsie at Uncyclopedia:Sandbox was good conversation and good editor's advice; I've taken the liberty of moving it here, as the Sandbox can be erased by anyone at any time.

What am I doing with my life?

No, I'm serious. I just don't get anything, it's like I've injected fiberglass into my brain, and drank three consecutive slushies. My desperate attempts to be funny are met with unanimous agreement that I'm grindingly mediocre. *Sigh* I guess I'll go make that HowTo on masturbating furiously with knives. TheDarthMoogle (talk) 07:45, April 24, 2013 (UTC)

I have created HowTo:Masturbate Furiously With Knives. You may all bask in its glory, and I can die happy now.
Your request for a Pee Review has not yet been engaged, but Admin Mhaille has seen fit to do some tidying up, as you have seen. By the way, there was a notorious prosecution in Massachusetts of operators of a day-care center, accused of masturbating furiously with knives on some of its customers; one operator is still in jail despite the total absence of knife-wounds or any physical evidence (only young testimony coached by social workers). This might fit in somehow. Spıke ¬ 10:43 24-Apr-13

What am I doing up this late at night?

Actually, what am I doing up this time of morning? I shouldn't be wide awake, but I am. Never try too hard to be funny, it just forces the joke, and the reader can sense your desperation. Let the creativity flow, then edit what happens later. Use an outline as a framework. If you can come up with a good idea and a good outline, then all you need are some funny details. This message is a recording and will self destruct in 10..9..8...7....6...5...4...3...2...1...-- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 08:24, April 24, 2013 (UTC)

Yeah (regarding being funny, not regarding what Simsie is doing awake so late). I usually am driving around and see something that must be misinterpreted and typed into Uncyclopedia, versus staring at a screen and having the right phrase come to me. Spıke ¬ 10:43 24-Apr-13

Beating a stick with a dead horse

I dunno how to flesh out my articles. I look at it in the edit view thinking "yes, this is clearly a substantial work". The whole thing ends up three times shorter than I thought it was. What I write is hilariously lacking in jokes to begin with, so I've not yet learnt to pad out what I'm writing, to make up for the inadequate length. Curse my brain. --TheDarthMoogle (talk) 14:02, May 2, 2013 (UTC)

  1. Do you think anyone reads the Sandbox? (I do because I have to look at Special:RecentChanges to see everything happening on the wiki.) You could create a Forum, but I'm not sure Uncyclopedians want to be broadcast to, to help you write.
  2. Please don't "pad out" anything. We are not paid-by-page-count. If your article isn't article-length, hold it until you see ways to take the humor in entirely new directions. They always exist. Also, read more about your subject on Wikipedia and think how it would come out if someone misinterpreted what you just read. Illustrations are also good, provided you can give each one a funny caption. Spıke ¬ 14:10 2-May-13
I don't expect anyone to read the Sandbox, I just like screaming into space every now and then, and you as an Admin have the right to stop me, and charge me with public indecency. --TheDarthMoogle (talk)
No chance! It is the least indecent of the many outbursts here.... Spıke ¬ 14:24 2-May-13
....The most indecent outbursts are saved for me! Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 12:24 10, July 2014

Poking fun

So here's something I don't get. People remind me that satire only works 'bottom - up', as in, you can only satirise a person or an idea more prominent than yourself. Yet there are people with fame pouring out of their eyeballs that light-heartedly get away with jokes about the disabled, LGBTs or those of a coloured persuasion and make millions doing it. Is it really okay to offend everyone else on a 'socially disadvantaged' (berate me all you want) person's behalf, claiming it's purely to make everyone go "ooooh, controversial..."? --TheDarthMoogle (talk) 17:43, May 10, 2013 (UTC)

This post of yours to the Sandbox has now been replaced (as legitimately happens in the Sandbox) with links to YouTube (for which Mhaille has banned Mr. Anon). But let me give you the following personal opinions:
  1. Uncyclopedia welcomes ridicule of anyone or anything, from a lower or higher social stratum. You can gay-bash and you can Romney-bash, but it must be done cleverly, and it ought to make it clear that humor rather than ruination is the goal.
  2. I don't agree that many people think satire is only valid applied to higher classes than your own.
  3. Comparing a man who wants to pretend he is a woman, with a person born without legs, is a formula for reaching wrong or at least random conclusions. As for "coloured" people, they are not to blame for their skin color; they are partly complicit if they think it requires a separate culture, and totally to blame for their resulting attitude if they buy "white racism" as an explanation of anything. I hear a lot of racism out here; none of it is a serious statement that brown skin is unattractive; and nearly all of it is a reaction to separatism and special legal rights. Spıke ¬ 15:10 13-May-13

Hi there

Hello. I am ScottPat and I am more noobish than you but I just wanted to say (because didn't realise you were an active user and I've looked at your forum edits today) that on the topic of Uncyclopedia being a ghost town: I don't think it is at all. There are many friendly users and enough active users to give variety however I do agree that most of the active users don't particularly enjoy pee reviewing. Nice to meet you and if you want any help, want to collaborate on an article, want to set up a group on Uncyclopedia, want to subscribe to UnSignpost or want to read some of my articles (some are on VFH (one just got featured on main page) or pee review) then just visit my user page and talk page. I am on here practically everyday. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 12:24 10, July 2014

Interesting. I shall make a note of everything you said in my little box. --TheDarthMoogle (talk) 14:47, May 4, 2013 (UTC)

Don't know what you mean by little box but thanks for showing an interest in UnSignpost. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 12:24 10, July 2014

Express Delivery...is not available today (just normal delivery)

Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 12:24 10, July 2014

This UnSignpost may be unsuitable for some viewers!

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:37, May 9, 2013 (UTC)

Thank you

Thanks for your wonderful pee review. I always appreciate it when someone pees about. I agree that the article wasn't one of my best but I'm happy with the article and the score so thanks for your time. (As for ostensibly British humour that just about sums up every article I write on here!) Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:29, May 18, 2013 (UTC)

The UnSignpost has arrived...Quick hide!

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:21, May 18, 2013 (UTC)

Colourful quotes, to say the least

Clearly someone has a major gripe with this place. And a rather silly amount of free time to be able to catch a plane halfway round the world every few hours to post rude quotes concerning anyone and everyone on as many pages as is feasible on as many different computers as possible. I even found one to do with ME O______o But I'm guessing you can't just ban the Internet. Who has this site really pissed off? --TheDarthMoogle (talk) 08:07, May 20, 2013 (UTC)

Everyone.                               Puppy's talk page04:22 20 May 2013
What is clear to me is that someone wants the maximum possible attention. To deny him what he wants, I've moved the discussion here, as I deleted a Forum that ScottPat opened to ask for help repelling the attack. The vandal was attacking every day until we got Wikia to change the rules and limit the number of Anon edits per minute. Just as al-Qaeda targets Times Square or the Twin Towers or the Boston Marathon rather than an undefended grain elevator in Iowa, this vandal wants to do something that is newsworthy. The new limits might deny him that; there is nothing remarkable in the least about vandalizing ten pages before you are banned.
The content of the vandalism, and the fact that even you were mentioned, should prove there is no personal vendetta here. He was casting a wide net for targets of hurtful remarks. He has beset us since before I joined.
Also, the attack did not involve commercial aviation but the use of "proxies," web services that will forward a person's request from a random, and frequently changing, Internet address.
Our openness to anonymous editing is both a huge liability and a key method by which we recruit new Uncyclopedians, such as me; in 2009, I wanted to write a funny article but wasn't yet comfortable "signing up." Spıke ¬ 17:03 20-May-13

Thanks

Thanks for the VFH vote for Emu War. Much appreciated. By the way the discussion you had with Puppy and Spike above has taken a rather different turn between Puppy, Mhaille and I on the forum it was originally on. Check it out. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:29, May 21, 2013 (UTC)

NotM

I have nominated you for noob of the month as you have written very funny articles (I love Express kidnapping even though it isn't quite finished) and have been a great member of the site. I have also nominated Anton as I couldn't decide between you two so the decision will have to be made by other voters. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:57, May 22, 2013 (UTC)

PS - You may vote for yourself on NotM. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 07:00, May 22, 2013 (UTC)
Good god, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy --TheDarthMoogle (talk) 16:00, May 22, 2013 (UTC)
I have stated my reasons on the NotM you've done a great job so far. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:04, May 22, 2013 (UTC)

The UnSignpost hath cometh

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:24, May 29, 2013 (UTC)

Forum closed

You state in the Forum you opened (regarding being pestered by members of the Fork): "I guess that's as good an argument as any. You may close this and bin it if you wish." It is tempting to close it (that is, write-protect it against non-Admins), as I expect it would attract trolling. "Binning it" would be censoring the transcript, which we avoid. Instead, I'll give it back to you, at User:TheDarthMoogle/What did you do to hurt these people?‎‎. Spıke ¬ 13:15 5-Jun-13

I missed your forum, but would like to answer your question. We did a lot! Did you hear about the time we ripped out Socky's fingernails (we took turns, and I got the "one for the thumb" screamer!). And then there was that time we decided to set MattSnow's shoes on fire, and watched him as he stomped around looking for snow to put them out in and we had shoveled all the snow!!! I could go on and on. Thanks for stirring up the memories of these glorious escapades. Aleister 13:52 5-6-'13

Summer's here! And so is the post

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotYSir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:10, June 14, 2013 (UTC)

Recent news from old newspapers

Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:00, June 27, 2013 (UTC)

If you don't know where to find the news

Happy reading! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:48, July 5, 2013 (UTC)

PLS edition of UnSignpost with extra poo

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:20, July 14, 2013 (UTC)

Sorry for the USP

I am sorry but the new format of the UnSignpost makes the content box and the edit buttons of the talk page disappear. Therefore, I am removing it for a while and will bring it back when these issues are fixed. But you can still read this issue at UnSignpost/20130810. Thank you for your patience! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:00, August 13, 2013 (UTC)

It is back!

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