From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Hello, TheDarthMoogle, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
- Votes for Highlight Page - read the very best articles and have your say about what goes onto our front page
Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, ask at the community forum or in the chatroom, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! -- 07:58, March 8, 2013 (UTC)
I reply on the UnNews talk page that you are doing fine with this but there are grammar errors. I already have an UnNews in about the Ikea meatball news, but your take is a little different, so that's okay. I took the period off the headline, so you can find the UnNews at the above title.18:55 8-Mar-13
Nope; upon closer review--the line about Korea, the line about horse DNA among Ikea staff--I believe you didn't just work from the same real-world news story, you took my UnNews and changed a few things. That isn't right, and I have put the story in your userspace,
as shown above, where you can work on it. If I am mistaken, please explain and I will put it back. 22:02 8-Mar-13
- Apologies if it seemed I'd taken ideas out of your own spin on the story; I gained inspiration from the real live story, and launched straight into the article without seeing what angles other people had taken. My intention was to stay in the absurd as much as possible, but I kinda failed at that. It seems we have similar trains of thought. I'm happy for my article to be taken down. Practise makes perfect :D TheDarthMoogle (talk) 09:11, March 9, 2013 (UTC)
If you are really telling me you stumbled on both these angles rather than taking them from my UnNews, I'll put it back.09:19 9-Mar-13
Now, the next thing you're going to tell me is that you just got the notion to create this article and are not re-creating the article that received a maintenance tag, the author abandoned, and Mordillo deleted? That would be a major misstep.18:51 18-Mar-13
- You sent me some words, but I have absolutely no idea what they mean...It was a requested article... so I made it? Is that a crime, or I am I not worthy of making those kinds of articles?
- If the article sucks, then please tell me; I don't get nearly enough criticism in my life, but otherwise I feel kinda hurt that whatever you sent was so aggressive... --TheDarthMoogle (talk) 18:55, March 18, 2013 (UTC)
I didn't read through the article. All I know is that, again, it had been created before, abandoned and deleted by an Admin, and you just re-created it. If this is your first time working on it, then what I said doesn't apply. Good luck with the Requested Articles. (PS--Discuss what you are going to do on your talk page; use Talk:The Game to discuss the article.) Cheers. 19:00 18-Mar-13
So, it's got a shed load of redirects. Now to actually come up with a decent article to follow suit. This looks like a tough cookie, and it's tempting just to revise what got deleted; looks like a good angle, but was kinda crude. Here we go... --TheDarthMoogle (talk) 19:04, March 18, 2013 (UTC)
Occupy St. Peters
Thanks for your kind words on the talk page, it's nice to get compliments on pages every once in awhile. You've made my day (at least until I eat some rice and lentils, and then that will make my day, at least until...). I thought of the concept and wrote some of it before actually googling it and there are people with websites about occupying St. Peter's Square, but mostly to complain about paedo priests and the usual. Yet with this new Pope the possibility is there that some may try it. The last picture, of that massive statue, is the real room where popes meet the public and make announcements, and I'd never seen it before two days ago! Its been there for 34 years! Have you seen it before? I look forward to seeing your work, but since this post gets long, thanks again, and good to meet you. Aleister 11:52 19-3-'13
As you note on this article's talk page, you got to this point and then could not figure out where you are going with it. What we have now is basically not an article but an outline of an article. When something is this incomplete, the best way is in your userspace, such as User:TheDarthMoogle/articlename. If it were in your personal namespace, it would not have bothered me that you added an Oscar Wilde quote that has nothing to do with Oscar Wilde. The reason it bothers me (and two other senior editors) in mainspace is written up at Uncyclopedia:Templates/In-universe/Quotes. Yes, we will find a better name for that essay.
The article cannot survive as-is in mainspace, as it is nothing but lists. As always, the problem with lists is that they encourage bad overnight editors to come along and add just one thing. Fundamentally, this article needs a better theme than to simply flog the stereotypes about Americans with which we are all familiar. I think stuff like this has already been done but can't give you a citation.
I did not like the way this article began. The structure of the first sentence is: "X is bad, but X is awful." Never use the first person ("I") when writing in an encyclopedia, and try just to say what you are going to say rather than explaining your intentions beforehand. For gassy phrases such as "It is recommended that," please see User:SPIKE/Cliches-1. Good luck! 12:09 20-Mar-13
This is a good start and an improvement. But it reads as heavy with your own disdainful personal opinion, and still too light on the humor. Your opinion is welcome and it gives the article a theme, but keep working to weave lighter humor into the article, such as with analogies and artful phrasing. (Perhaps more artful than your frequent recourse to "bullshit," which likewise suggests you are too interested in expressing disdain to make the reader laugh.) Also, there are either too many subsections or too little material; the result looks listy, and as always, the problem with lists is that a lot of bad overnight visitors will try to add just one more thing. Hope this helps!12:22 23-Apr-13
- [Cheers for the advice.] Yeah, I'll keep working on it through the course of the day. It was more an off the cuff thing as my brain nearly jumped out the window from reading the original article. I get your concern about lists. My head works that way, and I need to tell it to stop doing that. As for the humour, I was taking a more rational, than disdainful approach, but yes. I could be a lot more subtle, but I'm wary of just ending up waffling. TheDarthMoogle (talk) 12:59, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
Rational is okay; just make it funnier, and there is no rush. "Waffling" is always a risk, but mostly when the Anons arrive and we get Theory, then Alternate Theory, then Other Alternate Theory, and the results look very unencyclopedic. Happy editing!13:10 23-Apr-13
From the Sandbox
Your conversation with Simsie at Uncyclopedia:Sandbox was good conversation and good editor's advice; I've taken the liberty of moving it here, as the Sandbox can be erased by anyone at any time.
What am I doing with my life?
No, I'm serious. I just don't get anything, it's like I've injected fiberglass into my brain, and drank three consecutive slushies. My desperate attempts to be funny are met with unanimous agreement that I'm grindingly mediocre. *Sigh* I guess I'll go make that HowTo on masturbating furiously with knives. TheDarthMoogle (talk) 07:45, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
- I have created HowTo:Masturbate Furiously With Knives. You may all bask in its glory, and I can die happy now.
- Your request for a Pee Review has not yet been engaged, but Admin Mhaille has seen fit to do some tidying up, as you have seen. By the way, there was a notorious prosecution in Massachusetts of operators of a day-care center, accused of masturbating furiously with knives on some of its customers; one operator is still in jail despite the total absence of knife-wounds or any physical evidence (only young testimony coached by social workers). This might fit in somehow. 10:43 24-Apr-13
What am I doing up this late at night?
Actually, what am I doing up this time of morning? I shouldn't be wide awake, but I am. Never try too hard to be funny, it just forces the joke, and the reader can sense your desperation. Let the creativity flow, then edit what happens later. Use an outline as a framework. If you can come up with a good idea and a good outline, then all you need are some funny details. This message is a recording and will self destruct in 10..9..8...7....6...5...4...3...2...1...-- 08:24, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
- Yeah (regarding being funny, not regarding what Simsie is doing awake so late). I usually am driving around and see something that must be misinterpreted and typed into Uncyclopedia, versus staring at a screen and having the right phrase come to me. 10:43 24-Apr-13
Beating a stick with a dead horse
I dunno how to flesh out my articles. I look at it in the edit view thinking "yes, this is clearly a substantial work". The whole thing ends up three times shorter than I thought it was. What I write is hilariously lacking in jokes to begin with, so I've not yet learnt to pad out what I'm writing, to make up for the inadequate length. Curse my brain. --TheDarthMoogle (talk) 14:02, May 2, 2013 (UTC)
- Do you think anyone reads the Sandbox? (I do because I have to look at Special:RecentChanges to see everything happening on the wiki.) You could create a Forum, but I'm not sure Uncyclopedians want to be broadcast to, to help you write.
- Please don't "pad out" anything. We are not paid-by-page-count. If your article isn't article-length, hold it until you see ways to take the humor in entirely new directions. They always exist. Also, read more about your subject on Wikipedia and think how it would come out if someone misinterpreted what you just read. Illustrations are also good, provided you can give each one a funny caption. 14:10 2-May-13
- I don't expect anyone to read the Sandbox, I just like screaming into space every now and then, and you as an Admin have the right to stop me, and charge me with public indecency. --TheDarthMoogle (talk)
Hello. I am ScottPat and I am more noobish than you but I just wanted to say (because didn't realise you were an active user and I've looked at your forum edits today) that on the topic of Uncyclopedia being a ghost town: I don't think it is at all. There are many friendly users and enough active users to give variety however I do agree that most of the active users don't particularly enjoy pee reviewing. Nice to meet you and if you want any help, want to collaborate on an article, want to set up a group on Uncyclopedia, want to subscribe to UnSignpost or want to read some of my articles (some are on VFH (one just got featured on main page) or pee review) then just visit my user page and talk page. I am on here practically everyday. Thanks. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 12:55 29, July 2014
- Interesting. I shall make a note of everything you said in my little box. --TheDarthMoogle (talk) 14:47, May 4, 2013 (UTC)
Express Delivery...is not available today (just normal delivery)
This UnSignpost may be unsuitable for some viewers!